“Yep. I'm into Biology,” he said.
“Cool, so is my dad. Well that amongst other things.”
“Well, I graduated high school when I was seventeen, and went straight to college. I already have my bachelor's degree in Biology and now I'm taking classes in Modern Science, as well as doing some interning.”
“That is very interesting,” I said. “I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old are you?”
“Oh, I don't mind, I'm twenty-three.”
I suddenly felt intimidated by this guy. He was smart and gorgeous, what are the odds? I was in my own mind when the waitress came over and saved me from saying anything embarrassing. She took our drink orders and left. I only had a minute to clear my head.
“So, how old are you?” he asked.
“Twenty,” I said shyly.
“Nice,” he said looking down at his menu.
The waitress came back with our water and we ordered our food.
“So, what do you do for fun?” he asked when she left.
I gave him the rundown on the activities my friends and I enjoyed and it turned out that he was into most of the things I liked. The conversation progressed and I didn't feel so uneasy. He was just like any regular guy and knowing that helped me relax.
The food finally came and we dug in. Every once in a while, I caught him staring at me. For some reason he looked at me differently. I couldn't explain it, but it was as if he knew me already. Every time I caught him looking, he would just wink and start back eating, like nothing happened.
After we finished eating and talking, he paid the check. We headed out of the restaurant and walked back to the car. He opened my door again and I climbed in. I put my seat belt on and he got in the car.
“This was nice,” he said starting the car. “I hope we can do this again sometime soon.”
“I would like that,” I replied.
He pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to the dorm.
“What about tonight?”
“Uh, sure. I have to go to work, but when I get off, we can do something,” I said.
“Great.”
We rode in silence until we made it back to my car. After he put the car in park, he pulled out his phone and we exchanged numbers. I put my phone back in my purse and turned to him again. I looked deep into his eyes and I just wanted to lean over and kiss him. I had to get it together; I didn’t want to mess this up before it had a chance to really begin. He got out of the car, came around, and opened my door. We said our goodbyes and he left.
I sat in my car in a daze. At one point, I thought my mind had made him up and now I know he's real and it was a great feeling. I couldn't wait to tell Rach about this. I cranked up my car and went back to my dorm. I didn't care about the rest of my classes. I was in too good of a mood.
Rech wasn't in the room, so I had to contain my excitement until I saw her. I put my things down and laid on the bed. I hadn't planned on going to sleep, but I drifted off anyway. When I woke, I was relieved there were no murders, just the darkness, that seemed almost soothing now.
It looked like Rech came and went while I was out. I had slept so long, it was almost time for me to go to work. I jumped up, quickly changed clothes and headed out the door.
Work went by so slow and I knew it was because I anxious to see Michael. It was all I could think about. I pulled up in front of the dorm and before I got out, my phone rang. It was him.
“Hey, are you off work yet,” he asked.
“Yes, I just pulled up to my dorm.”
“So, when can I come pick you up?”
“Give me an hour to freshen up and then I'll be ready,” I said.
“Okay, see you soon,” he said and hung up.
He was there right on time and I made my way down the stairs. He walked up to me, reached his hand out, and led me to the car.
“Wow, you look amazing,” he said.
“Thanks.”
He opened the door and I got in and waited for him to get in on his side. When he got in, he gazed at me once again.
“What are you thinking?” I asked. “You always look at me like that. What is on your mind when you do?”
“It’s nothing. I hope I'm not making you feel uncomfortable, but you are just so beautiful.”
He was laying it on thick. I was flattered by all the compliments, but it made me wary of him at the same time. Old Jamie was creeping back up and I was over analyzing things. I've been in relationships before that started out this good and they always ended badly. The guy would sucker me into thinking I was the only one, but that was just the game he played. I tried to act more impulsive like Rach, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't see how she did.
“Jamie, are you there?” he said waving his hand in front of my face.
“Oh, sorry about that. What did you say?”
“I was asking you where you wanted to go?”
“What are you in the mood to do?”
“It doesn't matter to me, this is your town,” he said.
“Okay, let's go to the Station and see what's going on out there. There are plenty of places to choose from,” I said.
“Sounds good.”
He cranked up the car and we got on the road. He turned up the music and the neo-soul vibe flowed throughout the car. I was more relaxed and I felt in control. I didn't think about the craziness I was obsessing over before, I just looked at this date like it was just me and Ash hanging out. I sang along with the songs that I knew, and he did too.
We made it to the bar Rech and I frequented and decided to shoot some pool. We played game after game and took turns beating each other. We really didn't talk much about our lives or anything important for that matter. We just hung out and had fun in that moment. It was nice to be out without the strain of my regular drama. I don't know what was going on in his head at the time, but I knew what was in mine. I was thanking him for giving me at least one day of sanity.
Chapter Ten
It is now November and I feel like I'm no closer to the truth than when I started doing research. It seems like everything around me is moving at a faster pace and I'm trapped in my mind going extremely slow. I told myself I wasn't going to let this get to me. Eventually I would figure things out and it'll all be over, but finding out the truth has consumed me.
It felt like the blackness of the dreams had seeped into my waking life and I couldn’t get away from it. I don’t feel like I’m going insane, but I bet Rach would beg to differ. She even thinks Ash has changed since he got back from visiting his parents and I couldn't argue with that.
He seemed more distant and closed off. Half of the time, he didn't answer my phone calls and when I did see him, he always looked glazed over. Once, he tried telling me something, but couldn't find the words. I was hoping this wasn't about me and Michael hanging out together. I knew how Ash felt about me and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. I knew I needed to find out what was going on with him, but I couldn't seem to get past my own dilemma.
Our Thanksgiving break was coming up soon and we decided to take a trip to Tybee Island in Savannah for the weekend. I figured I would be able to interrogate him then, but for now, I needed to purge this obsession with clones. It was getting me nowhere.
Besides, in my dreams, the killing had stopped; it was just the usual endless abyss of darkness. Other than that, I was having dreams about the same crippling pain from the last nightmare. I could feel the pressure in my head growing as the pain struck in my chest. All I could do was ball up in a fetal position and hold myself until it went away.
I had to get out of my head, and my room for that matter. If I stay here, I'll start dissecting my thoughts again and I didn't want to do that.
I walked to the mirror and looked at what appeared to be a ghost, a silhouette of what used to be a human being. The eyes were droopy and dark around the edges. It looked like the figure had lost so much weight. What was happening to the girl in the mirror? I hadn't noticed until today
and I was mortified. This is what Rach was talking about all along.
I was poking at the puffiness under my eye, when my phone began to vibrate. I walked to the nightstand to get it; it was Michael. Something inside of me lit up and I was elated at the thought of him thinking of me at that moment.
“Hello,” I said.
“Hey Jamie, what’s up. What are you doing?”
“Nothing really. I just thought about getting out of this room for a bit. I just haven't figured out what I want to do with my free time.”
“Good, I'll come pick you up in an hour.”
“Um, wait a minute, pick me up? Where are we going?” I asked.
“It's a surprise, just get dressed. See you in an hour.”
Before I could protest, he had already hung up. I couldn't get upset because a big part of me wanted to see him, but I was a wreck. I looked around the room and then back in the mirror. I had to hurry if I was going to make myself presentable.
By the time I got dressed, my phone was already ringing again. He was here.
I put on my gray boots, which matched the scarf I added to go with the ensemble. I grabbed my purse and went back to the mirror. I almost looked human again, I thought as I flashed a smile to myself.
I ran down the stairs and Michael was already out of the car. I greeted him with a hug and then stood back and watched as he looked me over. It always made my cheeks burn and the flushed look was soon to follow.
He opened the car door and I got in. Without exchanging any words, there was electricity in the air.
We finally headed down Interstate 20, outside the city limits. We still didn't talk much, just light conversation about how our week was. I found myself being happier and my burdens didn't seem so heavy.
Thirty minutes later we made it to this country area right outside a town called Douglasville. At first glance, it looked like a park, but when I looked across the clearing, behind the picnic tables, I could see the entrance to a hiking trail.
We parked and Michael and I sat there in silence taking in the calmness of the woods. There was something to be said about being outdoors. It was a serene place when you embraced it at the right time. Michael finally got out of the car and opened my door.
“So, what do you think?” he said helping me out of the car.
“I'm impressed,” I said.
“I had a feeling you would like it.”
He grabbed my hand and interlaced his fingers between mine, then led me toward the clearing. It was so easy to be with him because he comforted me in a way no one else could. I realized I liked him because he was something new. He was something pleasant in the mist of my turmoil. For that, I was grateful.
“Is something wrong?” he asked letting go of my hand and standing in front of me.
I nodded, forgetting that I had drifted into another daydream.
“No, everything is fine,” I replied. And for the moment, it was.
He reached for my hand again and I obliged. We went deeper into the woods. I took a deep breath in and lost myself in the aroma of my surroundings.
“So tell me,” Michael started, “you mentioned before that you're originally from Kansas. What made you decide to move here?”
“I always knew. I know I could have gone to a couple of different colleges or even stayed at home, but my heart was here. We used to visit Atlanta all the time when I was younger and every time we came, we had so much fun. There was always something to do here and I never wanted to leave.”
“Yeah, I can see that. I could see myself living here permanently,” he said.
“That would be nice.”
We walked along for a minute in silence, taking in the woods again.
“So, how long will you be here then, you know, if you decide to go back?” I asked.
“I don't know yet. As you know, I'm here on business...”
“Yeah, the job I can't know about right now,” I said cutting him off, “very mysterious, might I add.”
“It's not one of those things where, if I told you, I'd have to kill you, but I can't disclose any information about my job or I'll be fired. I hope you can understand. Other than that, I'm an open book,” he said.
He squeezed my hand and my heart fluttered.
“Yeah, I guess I understand.”
We walked further in and everything seemed to be getting darker other than the glint of light coming through the trees. I froze when I heard something stirring in the bushes. Michael assured me that it was either a deer or a squirrel; both of which, were harmless. Sure enough, soon after, a squirrel shot up the tree in front of us.
“Thanks,” I said looking into his eyes.
“For what?”
“For being here.”
“You're welcome,” he said pushing some fallen hair out of my face, “Anytime.”
We finally let go of each other and resumed the walk. I couldn't remember how long we had been out here or how far we had gone in. The time seemed to just fly by us. While we walked, we both took turns sneaking glances at one another. The silence between us was sweeter than the conversation itself. It was taking everything in me to not want to fall for him, but I feared I was losing that battle.
“So, where are you from?” I said trying to end the private conversation going on in my head.
“Um, I'm from New York,” he said sounding unsure.
“New York? So is Ash. You guys probably should hang out. You might know some of the same places or people. Ash is from Manhattan. What area are you from?”
“Well, yeah, I'm actually closer to the New Jersey area... but you said Ash is from there? Maybe he and I should hang out. Although, I get the impression that he doesn't like me that much.”
I looked away. If he knew why Ash didn't take to him was because of me, he would probably feel uncomfortable, and I didn't want that.
“Ash is like that with everyone. Don't take it personal. He'll warm up to you soon enough. Especially if he knows how much it means to me,” I said.
“That's a relief,” he said and then paused. “So, how much does it mean to you?”
I felt his gaze. I knew what I wanted to say, but the words weren't forming. What if I tell him something our relationship is not ready for? I don't want to scare him off. I had to say something, but I needed to keep it simple.
“It would mean a lot to me if my friends warmed up to you. I don't know how long you're going to be here, but the time we spend together is great, and I want you to feel comfortable around my friends.”
“Jamie, I really like you and I think that we have a good time together. And I hope that your friends like me too because I really want to stick around, if you'll let me.”
He was looking deep into my eyes, searching, when he leaned down and kissed me passionately. When our lips touched, all the clutter in my head seemed to melt away. One by one, images and thoughts slowly drained out of my mind. They were replaced with oceans of blue, waves crashing and him. His face, that smile and the warmth that radiated from him with every embrace. It was so amazing. I didn't want to let go.
Before we could go any further, my phone rang. I looked at the caller I.D. after I pulled the phone out of my pocket and it was Ash. Speak of the devil, I thought.
“Hey Ash, what’s up?” I answered.
“Nothing, just wanted to check on you. How have you been?”
“Great, actually. What about you?”
“I've been better,” he sighed. “I hope you're free tonight because I was thinking we could get together and really catch up. I know since I got back home, I've been a little off track. But things are getting better now and I really could use a friend tonight to talk.”
I looked at Michael who was standing near a tree, trying not to be nosy. I wanted to hang out with him tonight, but I knew Ash needed me. I couldn't keep neglecting my best friend.
“Of course I'll come over. Is everything okay though? You sound a little nervous or something.”
“Like I said, I've been
better. What time you comin’?” he asked.
“Um, let's say around eight. Will that work?”
“That's perfect, see you tonight,” he said hanging up the phone.
I pressed the end button on my phone, but I continued to look at it as if he was still there. Something odd was going on with Ash and it had me concerned. I guess tonight would be a good time to try and get him to open up to me.
I closed my phone and walked over to Michael. I know he wasn't trying to listen, but I'm pretty sure he still heard the conversation. I wondered how he was going to feel about me blowing him off for Ash. He has to know that Ash and I are really close and I couldn't turn my back on him.
“Hey Michael, that was Ash. What a coincidence, we were just talking about him, right?” I said.
“I know. What a coincidence. So is everything okay with him?”
“I'm not sure. He sounded weird on the phone. He said he needed to talk to me about something. I told him I would come over there later so we could talk. I hope you don't mind that I have to take a rain check on the rest of our plans,” I said.
“Oh no, it's no problem. He's your best friend, I understand. I'll plan something even better for our next date.”
“Sounds good,” I said leaning closer to him, “now, where were we?”
He grabbed me with such intensity it nearly knocked the breath out of me. I felt giddy underneath it all as he kissed me with urgency this time. He tangled his fingers in my hair and lightly pushed me deeper into the kiss. I closed my eyes and instantly I was right back to my ocean of blue, waves crashing and him. Just him floating around in my mind, his face growing bigger with each passing second, completely covering up everything else. He was officially my great escape.
All I wanted to do was linger in that moment when we finally pried away from each other. We walked hand and hand heading toward his car. This time we really didn't talk at all. The kiss was really the only thing that needed to be expressed to define what we had going on.
Back in my room, I laid down on my bed, looking at the ceiling and doing a mental recap of today's events. I haven't felt this light in months. While I was enjoying my thoughts, Rach came through the door.
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