More Than One: A Novel

by Fowler, Monica

  In that instant, the first letter I received months ago entered my mind. This was the same handwriting and everything. I fell back on the floor and pulled the letters with me. I started counting the envelopes; there were ten of them. Why were they in a box in her closet? She has been hiding these from me. I thought back to every time she looked suspicious when we came in the room. All those times she was collecting these letters and hiding them.

  I tried to understand why she would do something like this. The only thing I could think of was the fact that I have been acting crazy and losing it, she didn't want to burden me. But what if these letters were clues? What if there was some more danger this person was trying to warn me about? The letters weren't open, so she had no way of knowing what was in them or if they were vital to my situation.

  I put all the letters back in the box and went to my bed. I moved the pillow, sat down, and then grabbed the letter that was on top. I opened it and it was just like the first one, short and to the point.

  Jamie, I feel that some of this is my fault and this is the only way I can help you. Please be careful.

  A.

  What does that even mean? None of this made sense. I grabbed another letter and opened it.

  Jamie, please forgive us. There was no way of knowing, but I fear for you.

  She can see everything you see.

  A.

  I went through the letters and learned that I should be careful and not to trust anyone. This was becoming too much for me. Who was A? Why were they sending me these letters? Who can see what I see?

  I couldn't cry anymore. I was all out of tears. I grabbed my journal and put the letters on top of it. I settled back on my bed and rubbed my temples.

  It would have been nice if Rach was here, so I can first ask her why she hid the letters and then ask her to help me figure out the pieces to this crazy puzzle. Since she wasn't here, I had to guess until I made a connection on my own.

  I separated the letters and spread them across my bed. I opened my journal and looked back and forth between the letters and my book. There had to be a connection, I just knew it. The letters were saying they were sorry; we are sorry, I feel like it is my fault and she sees what you see. Maybe that was the connection, the fact that I am having the dreams of someone else do the killings, this person is probably dreaming about me somehow.

  This A person knows who is doing the killing and is trying to warn me. I looked at the last entry I wrote in the book about when I was the one who was killed. I thought about what was written on my arm, Next. The only thing I didn't get was, who this A person was and why were they helping me? If they knew who the killer was, why didn’t they just go to the police?

  She said I shouldn't trust anyone, but I didn't know that many people, except Rech, Ash and Michael. I couldn't understand why I wouldn't be able to trust them. But when I thought about it, Michael was so secretive. He claimed he couldn't tell me what he did for a living. He says that there would be danger for me if I knew. That was crazy.

  Then there was Ash, who always starts to tell me something and never finishes. I know he was holding some important information from me, but he would never tell what it was.

  Lastly, there was Rach, who was hiding the letters from me. What if she knew more than she was letting on? What if she knew what was causing the dreams and didn't want to tell me?

  I had so many questions, no answers, and very little patience. If they all somehow knew or were involved in some way, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I was livid. Someone needed to tell me something, and I wanted to know right now. I grabbed my phone, started texting all of them and told them to meet me at the Junction.

  I grabbed my keys, purse, the letters, and my journal and headed for the door. When I got downstairs, my phone rang. I looked at the screen and saw it was Rach. I didn't want to talk to her until I had calmed down, but I knew she would just keep calling.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Hey, what is this text about? What's going on?” she answered.

  “I just need you guys to meet me so we can talk. I found some information and I want to ask you guys about it.”

  “Who else is coming?”

  “Ash and Michael. Can you make it?”

  “Yeah, I'm actually headed there right now. But what does this have to do with all three of us?”

  “I'll tell you when I see you, but I have to go, my line is beeping,” I lied.

  “Okay.”

  I hung up the phone without saying goodbye. I was still angry and I needed to calm down, but a big part of me didn't want to. I got in my car and headed to the Junction.

  I walked inside and looked around trying to find Rach. I finally spotted her in the far corner of the restaurant. She had her head down on the table as I approached her.

  I slid into the booth and we just stared at each other. I looked away and saw a waitress coming. She took our order and left, leaving us in silence. I pushed the menu to the side and opened my purse to retrieve my phone.

  Rach was looking at the side of my face and I could tell this was eating her up. I didn't want to talk about anything until everyone was there. This would be the first time Ash and Michael would be hearing about this coming from me. It was time to get everything out in the open and get to the bottom of this. I didn't care what the consequences were anymore. I just wanted all the drama to stop.

  “What is this about Jay? Why did you ask all of us to be here?” she asked.

  “You will find out soon.”

  She looked at me with a confused expression on her face. After about a minute, she put her head back down on the table. I was satisfied with her frustration for some reason. I really wasn't feeling like myself today. My phone vibrated and it was a text from Ash saying he was on the way. A couple of minutes later, Michael sent a similar text.

  Ten more minutes went by and the guys still hadn't made it. My anger started to return. Rach and I hadn't said two words to each other this whole time. She just kept her head down and occasionally lifted it to take a sip of her coffee. I started to call them when they came through the door. I relaxed as they walked up.

  “What’s up? Why does everyone look so down?” Ash said standing in front of the table.

  No one said anything. Michael kissed me on the cheek, then turned to Rach, who had her eyes closed again.

  “Is everything okay babe?” Michael asked.

  “Right now, no, things are not okay, but we'll talk about that in a minute,” I said.

  The waitress made her way back to the table and took Ash's order. After the waitress left, all eyes were on me. It was time for me to talk to them about why I brought them here, it made me nervous a little, but it needed to be done.

  “Okay, as you all know, I have been going through a lot of things lately, but you don't know the extent of it. Well, that's what I thought before today. Rach knows that I have been having problems and for the most part, she has been helping me deal with it. Now I feel like everyone I'm around the most should know exactly what it is I'm going through. I also have some information I wanted to share with all of you and see if you know anything about it,” I said. “I need you guys to be open and honest with me because this is serious. So, you have to promise you will be truthful the whole way.”

  I looked around the table at every one of their faces. Everyone nodded as I went down the line.

  “I promise,” Rach said.

  “I promise, too,” Ash said.

  “Me too,” Michael added.

  I crossed my arms and prepared to tell them everything. I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.

  “I honestly don't even know when this all started, but I have been having nightmares,” I started saying, but Rach grabbed my hand and leaned in.

  “Are you sure you're ready to tell this?” she asked.

  “Yes, I'm sure. It'll be okay.”

  She let go of my hand and leaned back. Those letters were really getting to me; they made me so suspicious
of her.

  “Anyway, I have been having nightmares...” and I began telling them the same thing I have repeated countless times to Rach and even a shrink.

  They all shook their heads, so I continued.

  “I can feel myself in all of these dreams; every emotion, every thought, it all feels tangible. When I wake up from the nightmares, I'm tense. There were times when I was sore in the morning from fighting or because the straps that held me down in the dream were too tight. It was like I was there for real. Then, when I don't have those types of dreams, I don't dream at all. It is nothing but blackness.”

  I stopped to take in everyone's expression. The looks were blank, placid even. No one looked horrified just yet.

  “So, you are in these rooms and what is happening to you?” Ash asked.

  “Well, it's just like I said. There are test and I'm being strapped down. I remember one dream where the two guys are standing outside the door talking about how they wish there was something they could do to prevent my passing, like I only had a certain amount of time to live. I'm trapped in these places, because later on, I dream about escaping some nights.”

  “So, when you escape, what is it that you see and what are you escaping for?” Michael asked.

  “Just recently I saw the area outside of the room I'm living in. It is the laboratory that is connected to the room.”

  Ash looked away with a frantic look on his face. I dismissed it to finish my story.

  “I've been sneaking out of this room to um... murder people,” I hesitated.

  I looked around once more and now the faces were changing except for Rach. The other two were in a state of shock or so I thought.

  “What do you mean murder?” Michael asked.

  “I know this sounds crazy, but that is what I'm dreaming about. I'm stalking people and slicing their throats, to be exact. And every time I dream this, it's me, but with different color eyes. The person in my dreams has dark, brown eyes.”

  Michael hugged me and kissed my forehead. Ash rolled his eyes and Rach was still staring into outer space.

  “I'm so sorry you have been going through this. Why did you feel like you couldn't tell me about it? I wouldn't have blown it off. Some people have had nervous breakdowns from nightmares,” Michael said.

  “That's not the half of it though,” I said pulling away from him.

  “What do you mean?” Ash chimed in.

  “Well, one day Rach and I went downtown to the Station to shoot some pool and I stumbled upon a news report from Italy about a serial killer. They showed the pictures of the victim’s, how they were killed, and where they were found. It’s the same people from my dreams. So, the nightmares I'm having, are really happening somewhere in Rome. Isn't that bizarre?”

  Both Ash and Michael looked away this time. Now I was getting annoyed with the sneaky sideways glances from them both.

  “What is that about?” I asked.

  “What is what about?” Ash said.

  “You keep looking away and now Michael is doing it. Do you know anything about all this?”

  Both Rach and I turned to stare them down. If they knew what was going on, they had better spill their guts before I go off.

  “I don't know what you're talking about Jay, this is the first time I've heard anything about any of this,” Ash said.

  “Me, too. But let's not get off the subject. So you're saying that you can see the murders that are taking place in another country?” Michael added.

  I was skeptical, but I started talking again, eager to get everything out and finally get to the bottom of my suspicions.

  “Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. What do you make of all this?” I said.

  “I don't know. You say you're having dreams of real murders and that's kinda creepy,” Ash said.

  “Okay, I'll accept that, but seriously, this is what I’ve been going through. I even went to see a shrink. He gave me this whole rundown about dreams and what they all mean. He told me I should take steps to try and make them go away and of course, they haven't. But he told me to write it all down, which I've done,” I said taking the journal out of my purse. “What was that other thing he said to do Rach?”

  “Act them out. He said that if she could put herself in the victim’s shoes then maybe she could be the person on the outside looking in and figure things out that way,” she said.

  “Did you tell him that the murders were actually happening?” Michael asked.

  “That's what I told her she should do, but she wouldn't listen, so, no, he didn't know about it,” Rach said.

  “Okay, whatever, that's not what's important. What's important is that now you all know what I am dealing with and I need you to help me get through this.”

  “That still doesn't explain why you have all of us here together. What role do we play?” Rach asked.

  I got so deep into the conversation about the nightmares, I totally forgot I brought them here to accuse them. I didn't know where to start, though. Should I bring out the letters or should I ask Michael about all of his secrecy? Without thinking about it any further, I reached for my purse and pulled the letters out. When Rach saw them, she gasped.

  “Ash, do you remember when I received that letter the day we went to the park?” I said turning to him.

  “Yeah, the letter telling you to be careful or something from somebody named A. What about it?”

  “Well, I stumbled upon a box of the same type of letters in a shoe box in Rach's closet,” I said looking at her. “Why would you hide these from me?”

  “Look Jay, I wasn't trying to cause you any harm. It's just that, you were going through so much stuff and I didn't think you needed any extra drama in your life. That's all. There is nothing else behind me doing what I did.”

  “But I read all the letters and they are telling me not to trust anyone. Why would they say that? I don't hang around anyone but you guys. So am I supposed to be suspicious of the three of you? I don't understand. After I read the letters, I started thinking about the whole situation. How you hid the letters, how Michael can't tell me anything about what he does or where he's from and how Ash keeps trying to tell me something, but doesn't. How do you think I'm supposed to feel when someone tells me I shouldn't trust anyone?” I said.

  “Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you think we have something to do with this? I mean, we have been your friend for years and you're going to believe some jerk that mailed you a letter over us?” Ash shouted.

  I didn't say anything. Ash and Rach started going back and forth talking about how they couldn't believe what I was saying. The only person who wasn't saying much was Michael. I felt like he really had something to do with this, even if Ash and Rach didn't.

  “Michael. Where is your head? Why haven't you said anything?” I asked.

  “Yeah dude. She just accused all of us. She thinks we all have something to do with her murdering dreams. Are you not offended?” Ash said.

  Michael looked up from his daze. His eyes were filled with nothingness.

  “I'm not offended because I can see how she could make that assumption, especially about me. I do deny that I had anything to do with you having the dreams or whatever. I also feel that now that it’s out in the open, maybe there is some way for us to get to the bottom of it,” he said.

  Everyone was silent again. I started to feel bad about accusing them. Ash was right, they have been my friends for years, and I had no right to come out and say they were involved in any kind of way. I was just so frustrated, I would have accused anyone at that point. Rach was the first to break the silence when she brought up our pretend therapy session and the conclusions we came up with. Everyone was kind of on board with my theory, but there were still some holes in it.

  “We need to find out who is sending you these letters. Apparently they are involved and they hold the key to finding out who is really committing the murders,” Rach said.

  “But how do we do that? There is no address on the envelo
pes and I doubt if anyone in our dorm knows anything about the murders or my nightmares,” I said.

  “What if this person lives in Rome and that's how they know about the murders, but they are too afraid to go to the police because that might put them in danger?” Ash added.

  “But there is no address on the letter, duh. We just said that. There’s no way they would commute back and forth from here to there just to drop off a couple of notes,” Rach said.

  Something Ash said struck me. When he mentioned the person being put in danger, it reminded me of what Michael said in the woods about his job. I was so engrossed in the conversation with Ash and Rach, it didn't dawn on me that Michael was so quiet. He just kept nodding his head and acting like he was going along with what was said.

  “So, Michael what do you think about all this?” I asked.

  “Um, I think you guys are making progress. Maybe what you're saying is right on the money, we just need to find out who is sending the letters like Rach said and go from there.”

  I couldn't stop looking at him. I know there is something he is not telling me, but I didn't know how to get it out of him and I knew he wasn't going to talk. He was starting to disgust me and I hated feeling like that.

  “Okay, so far we have someone sending letters warning you, someone we are assuming is from Rome or maybe knows someone in Rome. That's the only way I can see them getting the letters here without addressing them. Then we have some murders going on and Jay is dreaming about them. In all the dreams, she sees herself and not the actual killer. So we need to figure out how she is connected to that person or if there is even a connection at all,” Rach said. “Am I missing anything?”

  “Well, there is something that I haven't mentioned,” I said.

  All eyes on me again.

  “When we went home to Kansas, I found a file.”

  “What kind of file?” Ash asked.

  “I'm not sure, it was filled with some medical stuff that I couldn't really comprehend, but this file had my name on it and then a serial number next to it. The last page was a certificate, maybe a death certificate, I don't know. But it said that the cloning process failed,” I finished.