More Than One: A Novel

by Fowler, Monica

  She gave me a quizzical look and then put the paper down. I knew I should have asked my dad who the doctor was and why he had that certificate with my things, but I was too afraid. I was afraid of what he might tell me or that it was a mix up and then he would think I was a nut-job. I couldn't bear it.

  “What are you going to do? How are you going to get the answers that you need?” Rach asked.

  “I am going to sit Michael and Ash down once and for all and tell them what I know and demand some answers from them. They have to tell me everything. It doesn't make sense that they wouldn't, especially with all the information they have already shared.”

  “Well, I hope they do. It would be really great if you could put this all behind you,” she said.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  I sat back on the bed and thought about everything that transpired today. My insides were doing back flips because I felt like I was on the verge of something big. On the outside, I was drained. My body was pulling me closer and closer to the bed. I needed sleep.

  “Well, I'm going to bed. My head is about to explode. Thanks for listening and helping me put all of this into perspective.”

  “You're welcome. I told you I was here for you. Get some rest, we'll figure this all out soon enough.”

  When she said that, I thought about what Michael said earlier. He told me it would all make sense soon enough. Why did she choose to use the same words? I dismissed it. I was too tired to get into another conversation and my mind always makes me think too far into things.

  I laid down and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I woke up in a daze the next morning. The darkness in my dream was actually comforting. I thought I was going to have a nightmare last night, I even wanted it to come, but blackness was all I could dream. At least when I had the dreams, it gave me another piece to go along with the information I already had. It was crazy, because when this all started, all I wanted was for the dreams to stop. Now I was welcoming them.

  Before I knew it, I dozed off again.

  Rach nudged me before going in the bathroom around seven fifteen. I had class in about two hours and I didn't want to go. I was drained physically and emotionally. I didn't want to start missing class again though. I was just getting back on track and my grades were really improving.

  “Morning crazy,” she mumbled into her pillow.

  “Morning crazy's friend,” I replied.

  I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. While I waited for it to warm up, I brushed my teeth. I got in the shower and did a quick run through. After, I got out, found my robe, and went back to my bed.

  “Are you about to go back to sleep?” I asked.

  “I'm trying not to. Why?”

  “I'm trying not to either. If I fall asleep, can you wake me up? I have a class at nine.”

  “Okay.”

  I adjusted my pillow and thought about my parents. If I were at home, I would be up in my room listening to music or reading a book. My mom would yell for me to come down and eat, and we would all sit down at the table and talk about our day. The memory eased my mind and I drifted off to sleep with those moments in my head.

  In the dream, I was in the bedroom, rocking on the bed. I looked around the furnished prison and wondered why I was being held here. No one should ever have to endure this. There was no television, so I didn't know what was going on in the outside world. All I had was my journal and some books left here for me to read.

  The anger grew in me. It struck me like a bolt of lightening and I started rocking harder. I gripped my arms tighter around my chest as my back hit the headboard over and over again. I had no more tears to spare, so the only emotion I had was rage.

  I wanted to pull my hair out, beat the wall in or just break something. When the rage was at the highest point, the pain set in. I grabbed my chest and tried to hold the pain in, but it was so intense, it spread all over my body. I balled up and waited for it to pass, but the minutes went by slowly. I was completely engulfed with spasms going through me when I was jolted awake.

  “Jamie, wake up! You are so late for your class,” Rach said pushing my shoulder.

  I jumped up and looked around. I felt my chest and the pain wasn't there. I took a deep breath in and there was still no pain. The dream was stuck in my head. That's what I get for wanting to have a nightmare, but this dream wouldn't help me get any closer to a resolution.

  I was still going to write it down in my journal. I didn't want to tell Rach about it because it wasn't important.

  “Hey, are you going to have a sit down with Ash and Michael today?” she asked.

  So much for not bringing it up and ruining her day.

  “Yeah, but I'm going to do it separately. Neither of them know how much I know about everything and it seems that they are more inclined to talk when it's just one on one.”

  “You're probably right,” she said. “I'm getting in the shower.”

  I waited for her to go into the bathroom and I took out my journal and wrote down the events in my dream. After I was done, I flipped through the pages of the book and it was a couple of pages away from being full. I couldn't wait for all of this to be over.

  I put my journal away and then got my phone. I texted Ash and told him I needed to see him later. I put the phone down, went to the mirror, and tried to do something to my hair. It was tangled and matted; it looked horrible. My phone vibrated. I checked the message and Ash asked me what time. I texted back and told him nine.

  Since I missed class, I figured I would go to work a little early and help out in the store just in case one of the managers needed it.

  I yelled to Rach that I was leaving before I walked out the room. My phone rang when I was halfway to work and it was Michael. I hadn't thought about him much today. My suspicions of him were making me lose interest. I sent him to voice mail and kept going to work.

  While at work, a customer came in with three children. I hated when parents just let their kids run wild and never say anything. I stopped one of the little boys from running and when I turned my back, he was at it again. The next thing I knew, one of the kids pushed a T-stand over in the front.

  I ran up to make sure the kids were okay. The mother apologized over and over and then she finally chastised them and made them sit down. I picked all the clothes up and hung them back up. When I stood up, Michael was standing in front of me with a sad look on his face.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “What? No, hey baby, I'm glad to see you.”

  “I'm a little busy chasing and cleaning up after some lady's kids,” I said. “Seriously, what are you doing here?”

  “Well, we haven't talked and I wanted to check on you and see if you were okay. I know the last conversation we had probably threw you off.”

  “Yeah, it did, but I'm alright,” I said straightening the rest of the clothes on the T-stand.

  He walked over and started helping me fold clothes and I was irritated that he showed up. Maybe that's how he felt when I barged in his place.

  “So, how has your day been so far?” he asked.

  “Well, I over slept and missed my class today. Oh and I found out some crazy information from my dad last night.”

  I wanted to bring it up now, and maybe I can get something out of him before we got busy. I was going to grill Ash tonight; hopefully he will tell me something that will help with the interrogation.

  “Oh yeah. Like what?”

  “Apparently my dad studied with a doctor in Rome before I was born,” I said.

  “Really? Who?”

  “I didn't ask. He also said I've been to Rome when I was younger. What do you think about that?”

  “I don't know what to think about that. It would be crazy if the doctor was Ash's father though. What kind of doctor is your father?” he asked.

  “He has a PhD in Biology and Physiology,” I said.

  When I
repeated it in my head, it hit me hard. How could I have missed this? The look on Michael's face said that he was thinking the same thing I was. My dad talked about reproductive biology a lot when I was growing up. I don't know why it didn't dawn on me earlier. My dad was hiding something from me as well.

  “Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” he asked.

  “It depends. What are you thinking?”

  “It's so obvious. You need to find out if your father worked with Dr. Dean.”

  “I don't want to. Why can't you ask your boss if he's ever worked with my dad,” I said, getting irritated.

  “I can't. If we’re wrong about this, then he will wonder why I asked. He will definitely know I told you something.”

  He was right. And even though I was still hazy about my feelings for him, I didn't want to get him in any trouble. But how could I ask my dad? The same thing would apply to me. What if we were wrong?

  “This all fits though, don't you think? The file that was in your father's cabinet and what he graduated from school for,” he said when he turned to me.

  “So are you saying that my dad cloned me? That's crazy. Why would he do that?”

  “I don't know, but we’re closer to finding out the answers.”

  I still believed he knew everything that was going and just wasn't telling me. He was standing here acting like he was trying to solve the puzzle, but I felt like he was behind it all. Maybe he was trying to throw me off by implicating my dad. He had some nerve. The only solace I had was the fact that I was going to be talking to Ash later. I felt like he genuinely wanted to help and he could clear this up better than Michael could.

  “Well, I don't think my dad ever worked with Dr. Dean; it had to have been someone else. Don't you think this would be some information he would share with me? I don't care how this all adds up in your head, my dad wouldn't do this to me,” I said.

  “It was just a suggestion, that's all. Don't bite my head off. What's going on with you? Ever since we talked yesterday, you've been acting funny towards me.”

  “It's because I don't know what to believe anymore. You've been hiding things from me and lying about it. I don't know if I can trust you like I use to,” I said looking down.

  “I can understand that, but if you don't believe anything else that comes out of my mouth, please just believe that when I told you I loved you, I meant it. I've never met a girl like you and that is for real. The feelings I have won't just turn off, but if you're done dealing with me, I guess I will have to respect that,” he said.

  My heart was so torn right now. My feelings hadn't turned off completely, but I still didn't trust him and you can't build a relationship without it. If I could know for sure that he was being completely honest with me, then things would be different, but I wasn't sure.

  He took my hand and pulled me close to him. He squeezed me and I noticed that my heart wasn't doing the usual back flips. Maybe I was getting over him, or maybe my mind wasn't all here with him. I knew I wouldn't truly be happy until things went back to normal.

  “Michael, I'm sorry I've been so back and forth with you, but please see it from my side. This has been one crazy relationship. My feelings haven't completely went away for you. I do still have love for you, but things are too complicated for me,” I said looking into his eyes.

  His expression changed and it hurt my heart. I don't like hurting anyone. I've never been good at it. Whenever I did, I would turn around and make an effort to placate the situation and get hurt myself. It has always been like that. I've always wanted to make everyone around me happy; that was my nature. But I was getting tired of trying to please everyone.

  “I totally get it, and I can't be mad at all. Just tell me what I can do for you to believe what I am telling you is true? I really am trying to help you figure things out. Tell me what to do and I'll do it,” he said still holding me.

  “I don't know what you could do. Honestly, I'm trying to let this go and go back to the way things were before I knew all of your secrets, but it isn't working. I'm sorry.”

  “There has to be something. Just think about it and let me know, okay? I will do anything so you can trust me again,” he said kissing my cheek. “I have to go, but I'll call you later. Are you going to answer the phone?”

  “Yes, I'll answer.”

  “Okay, have a good day and try not to stress babe.”

  He pulled the back of my ponytail, then turned to leave. I was so confused. Why did he have to show up here? I didn't want to see him. Every time I look at him, I feel bad about how I have been acting. It's easier when he is out of sight.

  I wanted to call my mom and ask her what I should do. Then that would mean I would have to tell her everything else, and I wasn't doing that. Rach knows, but she keeps giving me the same advice. She tells me to just let it go and be with him; like I've been miserable all my life and I would be lost without him or something. I know she means well, but ever since her and Derrick got together, she's been nauseating with the relationship advice.

  I had to remember I was at work and I couldn't let this affect me to the point where I couldn't function. I cleared my mind and started walking around to see if any customers needed my assistance. I hoped talking to the shoppers would take my mind off of things.

  Before I knew it, it was time for me to leave. Dana had already come in to cover the last shift of the day. When the rush came through, the time flew by so fast. I was exhausted when I finally sat down to take a break. My feet ached and I was ready to go.

  I called Ash from the car and told him I was on the way. I thought about what I was going to say to him. I was hoping that he would be open with me again and tell me everything. I raced over, not thinking about anything but the conversation that was coming.

  I pulled up at this place and rubbed my temples after I turned off the car.

  After I got out of the elevator, I walked to the door and knocked. He answered and stood there with a goofy grin on his face. When he took in my expression, his face changed to a look of confusion.

  “What's wrong,” he asked pulling me through the door.

  “Nothing, I'm just really tired. We had a major rush at work today and it wore me out.”

  “Oh okay. Are you hungry or anything? I can get you something to drink.”

  “No, I'm fine for right now. I just need to get these shoes off,” I said.

  We walked to the couch and sat down. I pulled my shoes off and starting rubbing my feet. Of course, Ash grabbed my legs, put them in his lap, and started rubbing them for me. He was such a good friend.

  “So, what did you need to talk to me about?” he asked.

  “Well, I wanted to bring up the things we discussed the other day. You now, about what you are and all that. I found out some more information and I wanted to tell you about it.”

  “Okay, what's up?”

  I pulled my journal out of my bag and opened it. For some reason, everything I thought about saying flew out of my head. That seems to be happening to me a lot lately. I just needed to calm down and just talk.

  “First of all, I called my dad last night and asked him about Rome. He says they lived there before I was born for a while. He studied with some guy there or something.”

  “Hmm, that is interesting. Did he tell you who he studied with?” he asked.

  This was starting to sound like all the conversations I've had in the past two days.

  “No, I didn't ask. What do you think about that?”

  “Well, if you knew who it was then maybe it would help, but I don't know.”

  “Rach seems to think that maybe I was cloned after all and my parents don't know about it.”

  “But you said they were there before you were born.”

  “Oh yeah, I left out that they took me when I was younger.”

  He scratched his head and then went back to rubbing my feet.

  “So, you’ve been to Rome before?”

  “Yep.”

  “Then that does raise
a red flag. You need to find out who your father studied with,” he said.

  “I can't. If I am wrong about this then he will wonder why I am asking all these questions,” I said. “Okay, let's stick a pin in that subject and come back to it. The other thing I wanted to talk to you about was my journal. I was wondering if I could read some of these pages to you and you tell me if anything in here sounds familiar; like the surroundings or something.”

  “Like what? You said the murders took place in Rome.”

  I looked up from my journal with a frightened look on my face. I forgot Ash didn't know I knew where he was really from. All these secrets that everyone was making me keep was crashing down on me. I couldn't remember who told me what.

  I looked down at my journal again and decided to just say screw the secrets. This was my life that was in ruins and I was tired of tiptoeing around everyone's feelings. I couldn't understand why he would keep that away from me anyway.

  “Okay look. I know you're from Rome,” I blurted out.

  He stopped rubbing my feet and looked at me with a scared and worried expression. I wish I could have taken it back. Here I was, once again, worried about someone's feelings over my mine. But this was Ash though. I felt so bad.

  “How do you know that?” he asked.

  “Listen, I can't tell you how I know, but I do. Why would you tell me you were from New York when you're obviously not?”

  “Because I am from New York. Who told you I was from Rome?”

  I thought about Michael and the many times he told me that I had to keep the promise and that he would get into so much trouble if anyone found out. I didn't know what to do in this situation. What I said to Ash was already out there and I couldn't take it back. There was no way I was going to get out of this without telling him everything I knew.

  “Jamie... Who told you that?” he said sounding disappointed.

  “Michael did.”

  “How would he know? He doesn't know me.”

  “He's from Rome, too. That's how he knows. I think he has seen you around or something. I don't know, but he told me you were from Rome,” I said.