More Than One: A Novel

by Fowler, Monica

  I knew he was right, but my stomach was still balling up in knots. I thought I would be happier when I got to this point, but I wasn't. I still felt betrayed, lost, and confused.

  “What did you find out from your father?” I asked.

  “Nothing. My mom said he was out of town and wouldn't be back until Friday. I won't be able to get a hold of him until then. I didn't want to ask my mom about it because she might be in the dark about everything. There's no need to stress her.”

  “I hear you. So, what do we do now? I can't just sit here. I wish I could move time forward so my parents would be here now. I need to know what they are going to say,” I said.

  “I know, you’re going to drive me crazy with all this pacing you're doing. Please come sit down and let's find something to take our minds off of this for a minute,” he said.

  I stopped walking and grunted. Ash got up and pulled me to the bed. He wrapped his arm around me and started rocking.

  “It's okay. You should be happy, everything is about to be all out in the open.”

  “I know, but things still feel wrong. My parents have been lying to me, along with my friends,” I said looking at him. He turned his head. “I want to be happy about this, but I can't help, but feel betrayed. What if they come here and tell me something that will mess my mind up for the rest of my life? How can I deal with that?” I asked.

  “Jamie, that is not going to happen, and you know that. Don't let this one thing ruin everything your parents have meant to you. They have been there for you; they still are. My parents would never fly out here and see if I was okay, so you should consider yourself lucky.”

  When he said that, I thought about what Michael said. Ash didn't know that his father sent him down here to protect him and keep an eye on him. His father did love him and he couldn't see it.

  “I know you're right. Thanks Ash, I am so glad that you don't mind skipping class,” I joked.

  “I do mind, but I will do anything for you.”

  I felt an uncomfortable moment coming on so I changed the subject.

  “How about we get out of this room and go somewhere?” I asked.

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “I don't know. Anywhere.”

  “Well, I'm a little exhausted, can we go hang out at my place? I have food,” he said grinning.

  “Sure.”

  Once in the car he turned the music up and I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. Now all I could think about was that fact that my parents were on the way here and what they were about to say to me. What if they didn't have anything new to tell me? What if they didn't know anything about what I told them and they were just on the way here to have me committed? There were so many things to think about.

  We pulled up at his place and he used his key card to get into the gate. We parked in the garage and used the outside elevators to get up to his place. He walked in, turned on the television, and then went to his refrigerator.

  “You want anything?” he asked.

  “No, I'm fine.”

  He walked to the couch with some chips and sat down. I flipped through the channels and then stopped on the history station. There was something on there about a new species that had been found.

  “Well, this will definitely put me to sleep,” he said.

  “Shut up. This is educational. You should watch it more often.”

  “Uh huh.”

  He put the bag of chips down and pulled me over to him. I laid there with the back of my head on his chest and tuned into the show.

  After a few minutes, I felt his chest rise and fall in a slow and easy motion. I knew he was asleep. I turned the volume on the television down so I wouldn't wake him, then I closed my eyes. I didn't think I was going to go to sleep, but I must have been more worn out than I thought; I drifted off soon after.

  It was around five-thirty when I woke up to my phone vibrating on my hip. I couldn't believe I slept that long. I got up and Ash jumped up as soon as I moved.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah, you can lie back down.”

  I pulled my phone out and it was my mom who had called. I called right back and while the phone was ringing, my heart sped up.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Hey mom, sorry I missed your call, I was asleep.”

  “It's the middle of the day, what are you doing asleep?” she asked.

  “Just tired from the crazy week I've had.”

  “Well, the plane just touched down. I just wanted you to know. After we rent a car, we will be there. It should be around seven, I'm guessing. Where are you?”

  “I'm at Ash's place, but I'll be back at the dorm before you get there.”

  “Okay dear. See you soon.”

  “Okay mom, tell dad to be safe in this traffic, no speeding. You're not in Kansas anymore,” I said.

  She laughed.

  “You know I won't let him drive like that.”

  “Okay, love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I hung up the phone and turned to Ash who was stretching behind me.

  “Your parents on the way?”

  “Yeah, they'll be here in about an hour.”

  “Okay, well should we get going or do you want to chill here for a little longer?” he asked.

  “We can stay here for a bit. I'm in no rush.”

  My face must have had worry lines all over it because Ash immediately became concerned.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I guess. Is it stupid that I am scared to hear what they have to say? I mean, does it make sense for me to feel like this?”

  “No, I don't think it’s stupid. I think you're handling this very well. If it were me, I would probably be freaking out. So, whatever emotion you want to have, go ahead and have it. I promise I won't judge,” he said.

  He was making this so easy for me. I didn't know what I would do without him.

  “You have been the best today. Thank you for taking my mind off of things and helping me get through this.”

  “Any time,” he said.

  I grabbed the remote and leaned back on him. He started rubbing my temples and I turned to look at him.

  “I notice when you need to think or when you get frustrated, you rub the side of your head. I've tried it and it doesn't do a thing for me, but to each his own,” he said.

  “How did you know?”

  “I know more about you than you realize. I'm a very attentive person, especially when something interests me.”

  The only thing I could do was smile. He was amazing me more and more by the day. I leaned back on him and he kept massaging my head. I turned the volume up and started flipping channels again.

  We made it back to my dorm fifteen minutes before my parents were due to arrive.

  “Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

  “Yes please,” I answered.

  “Are you sure your parents won't mind me being there?”

  “No, I need you here.”

  “Okay.”

  He got out of the car and I leaned down and put my head between my legs. Things were crashing down on me quickly. I couldn't control the ache that was in my chest and in my stomach. Ash opened the door and wrapped his arms around me.

  “It's going to be okay, I promise,” he said.

  He pulled me out of the truck and we headed upstairs. The wind was really whipping around us. We rushed to get out of the cold. I sat on Rach's bed and Ash was sprawled out on mine. At first he was watching television and then the next thing I knew, he was asleep again. I wondered why he tired out so easily. I was definitely wide awake now.

  I woke up Ash and he got up with red eyes, looking dazed and confused.

  “My parents are almost here. You have to get up, I don't want them to think you sleep over frequently,” I said.

  He got up, stretched, and then went to the bathroom. I started straightening up the room. Ash came out of the bathroom and was rubbing his eye
s. They were still red.

  “Wow, your eyes are really red. Look in the cabinet in the bathroom and get some eye drops,” I suggested.

  He turned around and went back to get the eye drops. I started back cleaning up the room.

  “Is that better?” he asked widening his eyes.

  “Much... help me pick up some of this mess on the floor please. My mom will be pissed if she sees the room like this.”

  “Can I just throw your clothes in your closet and you get them later?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I don't care.”

  We went through the room putting everything back in the right place, and picking up trash. When we were done, the place looked decent. No sooner had we finished, there was a knock on the door. Once again my heart stopped. They were here. I looked at Ash and he nodded for me to open the door.

  “Hey mom,” I said once the door was open.

  “Hey baby. You don't look so good. What's with the bags underneath your eyes? You know stress can make you look older than what you really are,” she rambled on and my dad sighed.

  “Hey dad,” I said hugging him, as well. “How was the trip?”

  “It was okay. How are you?” he asked.

  “Okay, I guess.”

  “Considering the circumstances?” he said.

  “Yeah.”

  They walked in the room and my dad eyed Ash who was standing next to the closet.

  “Hey, you guys remember Ash?” I said pointing him out.

  My dad walked over to him with his arm extended, Ash shook it.

  “Yeah, I remember him,” my dad said.

  “You look a little taller than what I remember,” my mom said looking at him. “How have you been son?”

  “I've been good, Mrs. Whitlock. Thanks for asking,” he said.

  My parents walked around the room obviously inspecting it. I was glad we got done cleaning in time. That would have been another conversation on its own if it hadn't been. Ash and I looked at each other and shrugged. He leaned over to me and nudged my shoulder.

  “Don't let them look in the closet,” he whispered in my ear and winked.

  I eased over and stood in front of the closet.

  “So mom, how was the flight?” I asked.

  “It was okay, although I hate rushing,” she said looking at my dad.

  He turned away and went to have a seat on my bed. My mom followed behind him. There was silence in the room and everyone looked around at each other. I wished we would get this over already. My dad was the first to break the silence.

  “So,” he said looking at Ash.

  I followed his gaze and realized he must not have wanted to talk about the situation in front of Ash. I needed him here though; he has been my rock for the past two days.

  “Uh, dad, Ash knows everything. He's been helping me through this, so it's okay for you to talk in front of him,” I said.

  My dad cleared his throat and then looked at my mom. If it was this hard for them to tell me what's going on, I wonder how hard it will be for me to take.

  “Okay, since no one wants to start. I'll go first,” I said walking to my dresser to get my journal. I handed it to my mom and turned to my dad. “I told you I have been having these crazy dreams. I really feel like it’s because there is a clone out there with my DNA and I'm experiencing some type of telepathy thing with her. I need to know what you know about it?”

  My mom was thumbing through the journal, and her face was frowned up the whole time.

  “Please dad,” I begged. “Tell me something.”

  His face softened and he stood up and came over to me. He hugged me and I started crying. I've been holding this in for too long and all it took was my dad to bring it out of me. He held me and in that moment I didn't care that he wasn't talking. I just missed them so much.

  “Baby, I'm so sorry you've been going through this,” he said.

  My mom came over and she was crying, too.

  “Please, just tell me what happened,” I said.

  My dad let go of me and we both had a seat on Rach's bed.

  “When I graduated from college and started working in the medical field, I felt a need to go above and beyond what was expected of me. The desire that I had to be the first at something pushed me to the edge of a discovery in reproductive biology. Your mother and I worked day and night trying to put the pieces together to find a way to permanently sustain life.”

  My eyes were wide. What was he saying to me?

  “I don't understand. Sustain life? Why?” I asked.

  My mom walked over to me and she knelt down in front of me.

  “Because... before you were born, I was pregnant with another child. I did everything I was supposed to do. I ate right, I took my vitamins, all of that, but it still wasn't enough,” she said with tears welling up in her eyes.

  “What happened to the baby?” I asked.

  “I miscarried; stillborn to be exact. I carried the baby the whole nine months,” she started crying. “Nine whole months I grew to love the baby inside of me, and then the next thing you know, it's gone,” she snapped her fingers, “just like that.”

  “I'm so sorry mom. I had no idea,” I said hugging her.

  “Baby, it hurts, but I don't let it consume me anymore. I have you and you are the best thing that has ever happened to us,” she said.

  I was not expecting to hear any of this. I glanced over at Ash and his expression was placid. He stood next to the wall with his arms crossed over his chest like a statue. I looked at my dad and he had his head in his hands.

  “I still don't understand what this has to do with anything,” I said.

  “We couldn't go through that again,” my dad said. “The pain we went through from that experience crippled your mother and I couldn't bear to watch her suffer. She stopped practicing, but it made me work harder. That's when I met Dr. Lewis. He was in town and a friend of mine introduced us. He said that he shared some of the same ideas I had and it would be good for us to work together. That's when we went to Rome. I met your father later,” he said looking at Ash. “He is a very innovative man. We put our heads together and that's when the idea for Somatic Cell Nuclear Transfer for humans was born.”

  “Somatic cell what?” Ash asked.

  “Clones,” he said.

  “So, you've actually cloned a human before?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said.

  “Who?”

  My mom and dad looked at each other. I thought about the file I found, the certificate that was in there and how it was with my things. This was one of those situations where the teacher would say, one and one makes two. Their silence was enough for me to realize I knew the answer.

  “It was me, wasn't it?” I said.

  My dad nodded.

  “But why? Why me?”

  “Like I said, we couldn't go through another heartbreak; so, while your mother was in the ninth month of the pregnancy, we took your DNA and cloned you. The process didn't work though. There was a miscalculation on my end. Dr. Lewis and I went back and retraced our steps to try and figure out what went wrong, but we had nothing to compare the symptoms to. It was like nothing we had ever seen. The clones health started declining and there was nothing we could do.”

  “How long did the clone last?” Ash asked.

  “Six months,” my dad said turning to him. “At first she was developing at a normal rate. At the time, we thought we had stumbled upon the greatest discovery known to man; eternal life. We could take the DNA from a dying man, or a stillborn child and clone them and make them better than what they were before. We could change their features and everything. It was astounding. But then, the cells in the clone started to multiply at a faster rate and some of her facial features wouldn't develop right. And then the next thing you know, she was gone.

  There was no explanation to what had happened, but after we knew you were going to be healthy, I put it in the past and looked to my future with my family. But like I said, the cloning pr
ocess failed. There is no way that you could have a clone. Even if you were cloned again without my knowledge, I don't see how the clone would have lasted this long,” he finished.

  I looked at Ash. He was closer to us now and still standing in statue form. I never told my dad that Ash was a clone. I didn't think it was my place to do so. Ash asked me not tell anyone, and besides telling Rach, I was going to try to stick to my word. He looked at me and nodded.

  “Ash, are you sure?” I said.

  My mom and dad looked at him with a puzzled expression on their faces.

  “Yeah, it's okay. I don't think this would fall in the category of revealing a secret, especially when he practically helped me be here,” Ash said.

  I turned back to my parents and took a deep breath.

  “Mom, Dad... Ash is a clone.”

  My dad's eyes got wide and he got up to walk over to Ash. He stood in front of Ash looking at him as if he were an alien.

  “This can't be possible. How old are you?” my dad asked.

  “Nineteen, and it is possible. My father and his partner, Dr. Lewis, apparently figured out where you guys went wrong,” Ash said.

  My dad leaned down to listen to Ash's heartbeat.

  “May I?” he asked.

  “Sure,” Ash said unfolding his arms.

  My dad put his head on Ash's chest. He motioned for my mom to come to him and she put her head on his chest as well. My dad turned back to me and laughed.

  “This is amazing. They did it, they really did it,” he said.

  The mood in the room changed quickly. It went from sad to happy within seconds. This was right up my parent’s alley.

  “I hope you don't mind me asking, but how is your health Ashton?” my dad asked.

  “It's okay. I've been tired more lately. My father would say I was lethargic, but you know how that goes,” he said with sadness in his voice.

  “Who was the person the DNA came from? Who was your surrogate?” he asked.

  Ash told my parents the story about the woman who was in the car accident and the baby boy who died later in the hospital. He told them that Dr. Dean's wife was the surrogate who carried him. After the story was over, there was silence again, but this time it wasn't an uneasy silence. I had to be the one to break it again.