Fulfilling Torment

by B. L. Purser

  “If you agree to these terms, you will continue living life as you always have. I will provide you with a cell phone in which we can arrange our meetings. The meetings will always take place in my apartment or yours. I will not be your boyfriend, and I will not go out in public with you. I don’t go out in public with anyone except on rare business occasions.” I took a deep breath trying to gauge how she was taking all of this, and then I continued. “I would require you to see my personal physician on a weekly basis. His name is Reed, and he would take care of all of your medical needs. You would have to go on birth control. Once cleared by Reed, we would no longer use condoms. When I am inside of you, I want no barriers present. I would require that you have no other physical or emotional relationships. I don’t want to run into health risks physically, and I would never deal with jealous boyfriend issues.

  “I understand that this is a lot to process. Here is my card. The number listed will connect you to my cell phone. I will be expecting an answer either way first thing in the morning.” I stood and made my way to the door. Suddenly remembering another important detail, I turned to find her still sitting stoically in her chair. “One more thing… Should you decide to accept my offer, I insist that it be kept completely confidential. Under no circumstances are you allowed to discuss anything about me or our arrangement. Furthermore, your work life will be completely separate from this. None of the other employees at Bennett International will be aware of our situation. In return, I agree to do the same. The only people that will know you and I have contact will be my bodyguard, Dr. Reed, and my driver who happens also to be my butler.”

  I departed the hotel and made my way to the car. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any better idea of what was going through her head than when she had first arrived. I knew she was exhausted. Her ordeal in Central Park had obviously taken a major toll on her.

  I had assigned Dean to follow her when she abruptly left my building. I knew it was ill-mannered for me to have her followed, but information is power, and power is my middle name. After Dean had informed me of her actions in Central Park, I came up with this plan. Truth be told; I had already begun tossing the idea around in my mind. The confirmation that she was alone was all I needed to seal my decision. Her actions in Central Park reassured me of how alone she was. She turned to no one in her troubled times, and I admired that. Hell, I required it for what I had offered her.

  Chapter 10

  – Cam

  Time is such an elusive thing. It seems that we often take for granted that we have all the time in the world. In reality, we turn around, and it has escaped us. It had been escaping me more and more recently. First, I seemed to have lost several hours that I have no recollection of in Central Park. Now, I have come to realize that at least four more hours have slipped by without my knowledge. My bedside clock revealed that it was midnight. He would want his answer soon.

  I never expected my life to take this kind of turn when I moved to New York. I thought that I was coming here to gain better control of it. However, everywhere I turned, something or someone wanted more of it. At what point would there be no more life to give?

  In the past, I had contemplated taking my life. One time, I went to a medical supply store and bought scalpels that doctors use for surgery. I knew that one quick slice to each wrist or a stab to the femoral artery would do the trick. Another time, I gathered enough pills to put a horse under. I knew that they would slow my heart down enough that it would eventually stop altogether. Another time, I located an old gun that my father had given me. I took it to a gun store and had an associate help me with purchasing the bullets. I wondered if the associate would have sold them to me if he had known I needed them to shut my brain off. Obviously, I was never able to follow through with my desires. Ironically enough, the events that had pushed me to that point were the things that insisted I stay alive. Death is easy. It’s living that is hard.

  I curled into a fetal position on my bed and willed sleep to come, but I knew it wouldn’t. I had some decisions to make. Aiden had reassured me that nothing would change. Our relationship would be purely physical. The fact that it would still be a relationship is what bothered me most.

  I had to admit that Aiden had made some valid assessments of my situation. I was not going to be able to continue meeting strangers and having sex with them. I knew it wasn’t safe on so many levels prior to him ever verbalizing them. I had figured I would cross that bridge when I had to.

  He also knew that I got something from the physical acts that I couldn’t get from any other source. Believe me; I had tried everything that I could possibly do to replace needing sex. However, nothing else even came close to helping with the nightmares. I thought back to the very first time that I realized sex helped control the nightmares.

  I hadn’t slept in months. My clothes fit like huge flour sacks because I never ate, and my pale skin and dark circles would convince any vampire hunter that I was fair game. It was pitiful. The shell of the woman I had become was horrid.

  Still, I managed to turn a pair of green eyes one night. I was staying at one of the many hotels that I circulated. My routine had become second nature. I would go to the bar, order food that I didn’t eat, and drink until I couldn’t walk. At that point, I was hoping I could drown the memories and kill the nightmares, but it never worked. Just like the sleeping pills, alcohol did nothing but impair my ability to walk straight. The nightmares remained as vivid as ever.

  Seeing that I was toasted, the stranger with green eyes made the gentlemanly decision to assist me to my room. As he had hoped, when we arrived, I allowed him to have his way with me. I never thought in a million years that it would lead to the answer I had been seeking. However, when I woke up the next morning rested and dying from a hangover, instead of trying to recover from the nightmares, I was stunned. This event had given me the inspiration to continue the routine. I quickly learned that the hotel setting and the drunk act worked in my favor. However, after that original night, I never drank again. I learned that control was my friend, and I must maintain it no matter what. This was the turning point of my life. I had found a way to cope, and now someone wanted to control it.

  I’m not sure if the sex helps me channel all of my emotions or if it just exhausts me enough to make my mind shut off. Whatever it is, it’s the only thing that works. Furthermore, the sex with Aiden worked better than any of the rest. It seemed to keep the nightmares away longer than ever before.

  The morning light blazed through the window of my room. Just as I knew it would, sleep had evaded me. It was time to make the call. In essence, my decision was made for me. My alternatives looked grim.

  Aiden picked up on the third ring with a clipped greeting. There was no comradery between us, and that comforted me more than anything. I quickly began before I lost the courage.

  “I’ll do it, but I have stipulations.”

  The line was silent for a moment before he responded.

  “I will listen to your stipulations and determine if we can come to an agreement. Since today is Saturday, I am assuming you will not be working. Today and tomorrow will allow time for you to get settled into your apartment. I will send a moving crew to the hotel to assist with your move. Afterward, my driver will escort you to my apartment. Can you be ready at five? We will discuss your stipulations at that time.”

  Before he could hang up, I stopped him.

  “Wait! You said that I would remain in control of my life. I do not need a moving crew. I will manage the move on my own. All I need from you is an address and key. Also, I would prefer to take a taxi to your apartment.”

  The deep sigh on the other end of the line told me that he was not used to people challenging his decisions.

  “Cam I’m okay with nixing the moving crew. After all, you don’t seem to have much to move. I will have a courier bring over a packet along with the key. However, I must insist on my driver escorting you. It’s a security and privacy issue for me. It has nothing to do
with you.”

  It was my turn to take a deep breath.

  “Fine I’ll be ready at five.” I hung up the phone and wondered what I had just gotten myself into.

  The courier had arrived in less than ten minutes of my hanging up the phone. It made me question if he had been sitting in wait. Nevertheless, I signed for the package, bid the courier good-bye, and scattered the contents onto my bed. There was a brochure listing all of the apartment’s amenities, key card, and security code. It appeared that this apartment building had a private glass-enclosed roof-top swimming pool, a private gym equipped with sauna and full-time masseuse, a mini-convenience/grocery store, and private restaurant that was open around the clock. The brochure listed that all of these amenities were of unlimited use to tenants at no additional charge. Everything was secured with automatic locking systems, and only the security code would allow entrance. The building housed a total of twenty apartments. The thought of only having to deal with nineteen other tenants and not having to go out in the general public often was sadly comforting.

  I quickly packed my clothes, shoes, laptop, and bathroom items into my two suitcases. I had been living out of suitcases for years, so I had become very efficient in my packing. I knew that I would need to purchase more clothing for my position at Bennett International. Now that I had a more permanent location, I would need to plan a shopping trip very soon. After having a bell boy take my luggage to the lobby, I proceeded to the front desk to check-out and settle up my bill.

  The hotel representative helping me had looked pleased as punch when she had informed me that my hotel bill had been paid in full. The smile was now slipping from her face as she watched my reaction go from pleasant to angry Tasmanian devil in three point seven seconds. I squeezed out my reply through pursed lips,

  “I’m sorry there must be a mistake. I did not have another guest staying with me, so no one could have paid for my stay in full.”

  I knew before even saying it that I was wrong. Son of a bitch!

  “No, there is no mistake. Your stay is paid in full. Thank you for staying with us, we hope that you will visit with us again soon. We have a taxi waiting for your convenience.”

  Even though she was kind and accommodating, I knew I was being dismissed. I grabbed my purse from the counter and headed for the door. The bell boy loaded my luggage into the trunk as I gave the taxi driver the address.

  I sat back and vented to myself as we drove the short distance to get to the apartment complex. At least the apartment building was conveniently located to Bennett International. I noted that it would be easy to keep up my walking and running routine from this location. I entered in my code on the digital keypad on the front door and listened as it clanked open. As soon as the door had closed behind me, I heard the familiar clank once more. There was no doorman or front desk receptionist in the apartment lobby. It was plush and formal with heavy tapestries and floral patterns in deep colors. It made me think of a stuffy lawyer’s office, and I prayed that my apartment would not mimic this décor. I made my way to the elevator pulling behind me the two rolling luggage pieces. I stepped into the elevator and noticed that my apartment was on the next to the top floor. That meant that there was one apartment above mine and then the roof-top swimming pool and gym. It took me a minute to realize that I had to insert my card and then press my apartment number to get the elevator to move. Security was obviously a serious thing here.

  As the elevator door opened, I stepped into the foyer of my apartment. I had seen these kind of apartments on television, but never would I have dreamed that I would be living in one. My apprehension of the stuffy lobby décor was unwarranted. This apartment seemed to scream my name. The walls were a warm neutral color, and the furnishings were plush and clean. A few color accents kept the eyes interested and the rooms from being boring. I loved it.

  I made my way into the master bedroom and found the same inviting color scheme there. A king sized four-poster bed dominated the room. Other than a few wall hangings, the only other thing of notability in the gorgeous room was a gas log fireplace on one wall and glass doors leading to a balcony on the other wall. The attached master bathroom seemed to go on forever, and I realized that it led to an amazing walk-in-closet. The closet contained a dresser and enough room to hold more clothes than I could wear in a year. Since I only had two suitcases, I made quick work of unpacking. Then, I stored my empty luggage on some shelves in the closet.

  After ogling the master bedroom for a while longer, I found myself standing in a state of the art kitchen. The refrigerator was already stocked with bottled water, milk, eggs, and a few more staple items. The kitchen was open to the living room making the room much larger than most New York apartments, but then again, this was nothing like most New York City apartments. For some reason, this thought bothered me.

  A buzz from the entryway of my apartment pulled me from my thoughts. I made my way to the elevator and immediately noticed a monitor mounted to the right of the double doors. It displayed a man standing inside. He was tall with a lean muscular build. He was dressed in a business suit, and the gray streaks running through his dark brown hair made me think he was probably in his mid to late fifties. Even though I already knew who he was, I pressed the intercom button and spoke.

  “Can I help you?”

  Complete business exuded from him as he replied. “Ms. Anderson, My name is Hawkins. Mr. Bennett requests that I escort you to his apartment.”

  It seemed that Hawkins, like Aiden, was a man of few words.

  “Of course. Let me grab my purse, and I will be ready.”

  I ran quickly to the master bedroom, scooped up my purse from the huge bed, and darted to the bathroom. I hurriedly ran a brush through my hair, brushed my teeth, and applied some fresh lipstick. I didn’t know why I was worried about my appearance. After all, Aiden had seen me a lot worse off. Nonetheless, the knot developing in my stomach made me do things that didn’t register with my brain. I began to question the sun dress that I was wearing, but I knew it would take too long to change. Knowing about Aiden’s control issues, I didn’t want to create any more tension by being late.

  In two minutes flat, I was back at the elevator. I pressed one of the buttons below the monitor and the elevator doors opened. I smiled sweetly at Hawkins and stepped into the elevator. I watched as he placed a key card similar to mine into the card slot and pressed a button. The strangest feeling came over me as the elevator began to rise. I was expecting the elevator to start descending, and the confusion messed with my equilibrium. My brain began trying to process what was going on. Did the meeting location change and he not notify me? No, Hawkins said he was accompanying me to Aiden’s apartment. Were we going to the roof-top? Were we going to have to fly in a helicopter to our destination? I could not fathom them leaving out this massive detail. I was terrified of flying! My questions were all answered when the elevator stopped, and the doors opened at the top apartment. Aiden was standing there looking movie star gorgeous.

  – Aiden

  It was a little before five. Cam would be arriving soon. I had been watching on the security cameras when she had gotten to the apartment building earlier. The memories of her never seemed to do the real experiences justice. Even though she looked flustered and nervous, she was stunning. There had been a hint of anger in her eyes that I knew would find me sometime during our meeting. I couldn’t help but look forward to the encounter.

  I was anxious to discuss her stipulations and complete our arrangement. I am at my best when I’m closing a deal. Business is inbred in me, and it’s what I do best. My understanding was that my father was the same way before he got screwed up. My grandfather had also been a businessman. After all, our legacy had started well before my birth. The chime sounded and pulled me from my reminiscent past. They were on the way up in the elevator. I straightened my tie and made my way to the elevator.

  When the elevator door opened, our eyes locked. The emotion that traveled between us was more int
ense than a physical touch.

  “Come in Cam. Hawkins that will be all.”

  I turned around expecting her to follow. I took a few steps and noticed that she did not move. I watched as she turned to Hawkins.

  “I am very sorry that you work for an inconsiderate asshole Hawkins. So, I am going to be courteous enough for the both of us. Thank you for escorting me. I truly hope your job is fulfilling because I imagine the shit that you have to deal with is less than pleasant.”

  With that, she stepped from the elevator and walked toward me. I noticed Hawkins’ wide-eyed expression right before the doors closed.

  I would have laughed at how amusing the situation was, but I needed to put Cam in her place before she got too comfortable with speaking her mind. As I led her into my office, I extended my warning.

  “Cam you will respect me around other employees. I will not tolerate another outburst like that again. Hawkins understands his job, and he does it well. Because of that, he is richly compensated. I do not waste time on pleasantries. The sooner you realize this, the better off things will be.”