Lover Awakened tbdb-3

by J. R. Ward

  As she winced, he glanced at her. His eyes flashed from black to yellow, but then he just looked at Rhage and spoke quickly.

  "Phury's finally resting." He nodded in Bella's direction. "If she's come to sit by him, let her. He'll be eased by her presence."

  Zsadist turned away. As he walked down the hall, he limped, his left leg dragging behind as if his thigh wasn't working right.

  With a curse Bella went after him, even though she had no idea why she bothered. He would accept nothing from her, not her blood or her love… certainly not her sympathy. He didn't want a damn thing from her.

  Well, except for her to go away.

  Before she caught up with him, Zsadist stopped abruptly and glanced back at her. "If Phury needs to feed, will you let him take your vein?"

  She froze. Not only did he drink from another, but he found it easy to share her with his twin. Work of a moment, nothing special. Christ, was she so disposable? Had nothing they'd shared meant something to him?

  "Will you let him?" Zsadist's newly yellow eyes narrowed on her face. "Bella?"

  "Yes," she said in a low voice, "I'll take care of him."

  "Thank you."

  "I think I despise you right now."

  "It's about time."

  She pivoted on her heel, ready to go striding back to Phury's room, when Zsadist said softly, "Have you bled yet?"

  Oh, terrific, another cringer. He wanted to know if he'd gotten her pregnant. Would no doubt be relieved when he heard the good news he hadn't.

  She glared at him over her shoulder. "I've been cramping. You have nothing to worry about."

  He nodded.

  Before he could get away, she bit out, "Tell me something. If I were with young, would you mate me?"

  "I would provide for you and your babe until another male did."

  "My babe… as if it wouldn't be half yours?" When he said nothing, she had to push. "Would you not even acknowledge it?"

  His only response was to cross his arms over his chest.

  She shook her head. "Holy hell… you really are cold to the bone, aren't you."

  He stared at her for a long time. "I've never asked you for anything, have I?"

  "Oh, no. You've never done that." She let out a hard laugh. "God forbid you open yourself up for that."

  "Take care of Phury. He needs it. So do you."

  "Don't you dare tell me what I need."

  She didn't wait for a response. She marched down the hall to Phury's doorway, shoved Rhage out of the way, and shut herself in with Zsadist's twin. She was so pissed off that it took her a second to realize she was in the dark and that the room smelled like red smoke, a lovely, chocolaty scent.

  "Who's there?" Phury said hoarsely from the bed.

  She cleared her throat. "Bella."

  A ragged sigh rose into the air. "Hi."

  "Hi. How are you feeling?"

  "Downright perky, thanks for asking."

  She smiled a little until she came up to him. With her night vision, she saw that he was lying on top of the covers with only a pair of boxers on. He had a gauze pad around his belly and was covered with bruises. And—oh, God—his leg…

  "Don't worry," he said dryly. "I haven't had that foot-and-shin combo for over a century. And I really am okay. Just some aesthetic damage."

  "Then why are you wearing that bandage like a sash?"

  "It makes my ass look smaller."

  She laughed. She'd expected him to be half-dead, and he did look like he'd been in a hell of a fight. But he wasn't on death's door.

  "What happened to you?" she asked.

  "I got hit in the side."

  "With what?"

  "A knife."

  Now, that made her sway. Maybe he only seemed okay.

  "I'm fine, Bella. Honestly. In another six hours I'm going to be ready to go back out." There was a short silence. "What's doing? Are you all right?"

  "Just wanted to see how you are."

  "Well… I'm fine."

  "And, ah… do you need to feed?"

  He stiffened, then abruptly reached for the comforter, pulling it over his hips. She wondered why he was acting like he had something to hide… Oh, right. Whoa.

  For the first time she assessed him as a male. He really was beautiful, with all that gorgeous, lush hair and a face that was classically handsome. His body was spectacular, layered with the kind of heavy muscle his twin lacked. But no matter how good he looked, he wasn't the male for her.

  It was a pity, she thought. For both of them. God, how she hated hurting him.

  "Do you?" she said. "Need to feed?"

  "Are you offering?"

  She swallowed. "Yes. I am. So would you… May I give you my vein?"

  A dark fragrance permeated the room, so strong it eclipsed the red-smoke aroma: The smell was the thick, rich scent of a male's hunger. Phury's hunger for her.

  Bella closed her eyes and prayed that if he accepted, she could get through it without crying.

  As the sun went down later in the day, Rehvenge stared at the funeral drapes hanging off his sister's portrait. When his cell phone rang he looked at the caller ID and flipped it open.

  "Hello, Bella," he said softly.

  "How did you know—"

  "It was you? Untraceable number. Very untraceable, if this phone can't locate the source." At least she was still safe at the Brotherhood's compound, he thought. Wherever that was. "I'm glad you called."

  "I went home last night."

  Rehv's hand crushed the phone. "Last night? What the hell! I didn't want you going—"

  Sobs came through the phone, great, wretched sobs. The misery stole his words, his anger, his breath.

  "Bella? What's wrong? Bella? Bella!" Oh, Jesus… "Did one of those Brothers hurt you?"

  "No." She took a deep breath. "And don't yell at me. I can't bear it. I'm through with you and the yelling. No more."

  He dragged air into his lungs, clamping down on his temper. "What happened?"

  "When can I come home?"

  "Talk to me."

  Silence stretched out between them. Clearly his sister didn't trust him anymore. Shit… Could he blame her?

  "Bella, please. I'm sorry… Just talk to me." When there was no response, he said, "Have I…" He cleared his throat. "Have I so damaged things between us?"

  "When can I come home?"

  "Bella—"

  "Answer the question, brother mine."

  "I don't know."

  "Then I want to go to the safe house."

  "You can't. I told you long ago, if there's trouble, I don't want you and mahmen in the same place. Now, why do you want to leave there? Only a day ago you didn't want to be anywhere else."

  There was a long pause. "I went through my needing."

  Rehv felt the air leak out of his lungs and get trapped in his chest cavity. He closed his eyes. "Were you with one of them?"

  "Yes."

  Sitting down was a damn good idea right about now, but there was no chair close enough. He leaned on his cane and lowered himself to his knees on the Aubusson carpet. Right in front of her portrait. "Are you… well?"

  "Yes."

  "And he's claimed you."

  "No."

  "Excuse me?"

  "He doesn't want me."

  Rehv bared his fangs. "Are you pregnant?"

  "No."

  Thank God. "Who was it?"

  "I wouldn't tell you that to save my life, Rehv. Now, I'd like to leave here."

  Christ… Her in her needing in a compound full of males… full of thick-blooded warriors. And the Blind King—shit. "Bella, tell me it was only one who serviced you. Tell me it was only one and that he didn't hurt you."

  "Why? Because you're afraid of having a slut for a sister? Afraid of the glymera shunning me again?"

  "Fuck the glymera. It's because I love you… and I can't bear the thought of you being used by the Brotherhood when you were so vulnerable."

  A pause followed. As he waited, hi
s throat burned so badly, he felt as though he'd swallowed a box of thumbtacks.

  "There was only one, and I love him," she said. "You might as well know that he gave me a choice between him and being dragged unconscious. I picked him. But I will never tell you his name. Frankly, I don't want to ever speak of him again. Now, when can I come home?"

  Okay. This was good. At least he could get her away from there.

  "Just let me find a place that's secure. Call me in thirty minutes."

  "Wait, Rehvenge, I want you to rescind the sehclusion request. If you do that, I will voluntarily submit to a security detail whenever I go out, if that makes you feel safer. Is that a fair trade?"

  He put his hand over his eyes.

  "Rehvenge? You say you love me. Prove it. Rescind that request, and I promise we'll work together… Rehvenge?"

  He dropped his arm and looked up at the painting of her. So beautiful, so pure. He would keep her that way always if he could, but she wasn't a child any longer. And she was proving far more resilient and strong than he could have imagined. To have lived through what she did, to have survived…

  "All right… I'll take it back."

  "And I will call you in a half hour."

  CHAPTER 40

  Night fell and the light bled from the cabin. U hadn't moved from the computer all day. Between e-mails and his cell phone, he'd tracked down the twenty-eight slayers remaining in Caldwell and scheduled a general-assembly meeting for midnight. At that time he was going to reorder them into squadrons and assign a five-man task force on recruiting.

  Following tonight's meeting, he was putting only two Beta squadrons downtown. Civilian vampires weren't showing up at the bars the way they used to, because too many of their kind had been pinched from that vicinity for persuasion. It was time to shift focus elsewhere.

  After some thought, he'd decided to send the rest of his men out into the residential areas. Vampires were active at night. In their homes. It was really a question of finding them among the humans—

  "You are such a little shit."

  U burst up from his chair.

  O stood naked in the doorway to the cabin. His chest was covered in claw marks, as if something had held on to him hard, and his face was swollen, his hair a mess. He looked well used and pissed off.

  And as he shut the two of them in with a crack, U was unable to move: None of his large muscles fell into the defensive crouch he was screaming for, and this told him all he needed to know about who was Fore-lesser now. Only the top slayer had this kind of physical control over his subordinates.

  "You forgot two important things." O casually withdrew a knife from a holster that hung on the wall. "One, the Omega is very fickle. And two, he has a personal taste for me. It really didn't take me long to work my way back into the fold."

  As that knife came toward him, U struggled, tried to run, wanted to scream.

  "So say good night, U. And give the Omega a big fat 'hello' when you see him. He's expecting you."

  Six o'clock. Almost time to go.

  Bella looked around the guest room she was in and figured she'd packed up everything she'd brought with her. She hadn't had much to begin with, and anyway, she'd moved it all from Zsadist's room the night before. Most of it had already been in an L.L. Bean bag.

  Fritz would be coming for her things any minute, and he would drive the stuff to Havers and Marissa's. Thank God the brother-and-sister pair were willing to grant Rehvenge a favor and take her in. Their mansion, and the clinic, were a real stronghold. Even Rehv was satisfied she'd be safe.

  Then at six thirty she was going to dematerialize over there, and Rehv would meet her.

  Compulsively she went into the bathroom and checked behind the shower curtain again to make sure she had her shampoo. Yup, nothing there. And there was nothing of her left in the bedroom. Or in the house at all, for that matter. When she left, no one would know she'd ever been at the mansion. No one would…

  Oh, Christ. Shut up with that, she thought.

  There was a knock on the door. She walked over and pulled the thing open. "Hi, Fritz, my bag is on the—"

  Zsadist was standing in the hall, dressed for fighting. Leathers. Guns. Blades.

  She jumped back. "What are you doing here?"

  He came into the room, saying nothing. But Jesus, he looked ready to pounce on something.

  "I don't need an armed guard," Bella said, trying to keep cool. "I mean, if that's what this is all about. I'm going to dematerialize there, and the clinic is perfectly safe."

  Zsadist didn't speak a word. Just stared at her, all power and male strength.

  "Did you come to loom at me?" she snapped. "Or is there a point to this?"

  When he shut the door behind him, her heart started to pound. Especially as she heard the lock turn.

  She backed up until she was against the bed. "What do you want, Zsadist?"

  He came forward as if he was stalking her, his yellow eyes fixated. His body was all coiled tension, and suddenly it didn't take a genius to figure out what kind of release he was looking for.

  "Do not tell me you came here to mate."

  "All right, I won't." His voice was nothing but a deep, purring growl.

  She put her hand out. Yeah, like that was going to make a difference. He could take her if he wanted to whether she said yes or not. Only… like an idiot she wouldn't turn him away. Even after all the crap he'd pulled, she still wanted him. Goddamn it.

  "I'm not having sex with you."

  "I'm not here for me," he said, coming up to her.

  Oh, God. His scent… his body… so close. She was such a fool.

  "Get away from me. I don't want you anymore."

  "Yes, you do. I can smell it." He reached out and touched her neck, running his forefinger down her jugular. "And I can feel it pounding in this vein."

  "I will hate you if you do this."

  "You hate me already."

  If only that were true… "Zsadist, there is no way I will lay with you."

  He bent down so that his mouth was at her ear. "I'm not asking you for that."

  "So what do you want?" She shoved against his shoulders. Got nowhere. "Damn you, why are you doing this?"

  "Because I just came from my twin's room."

  "Excuse me?"

  "You didn't let him drink from you." Zsadist's mouth brushed against her neck. Then he pulled back and stared down at her. "You will never accept him, will you? You will never be with Phury, no matter how right he is for you socially, personally."

  "Zsadist, for chrissakes, just leave me alone—"

  "You will not have my twin. So you're never coming back here, are you?"

  She exhaled in a rush. "No, I'm not."

  "And that's why I had to come."

  Rage boiled in her, rising to meet the desire for his sex. "I don't get it. You have taken every opportunity to push me away. Remember that little episode in the alley last night? You drank from her to get me to walk, didn't you? It wasn't about that comment I made."

  "Bella—"

  "And then you wanted me to be with your brother. Look, I know you don't love me, but you're well aware of how I feel about you. Do you have any conception what it's like to have the male you love tell you to feed someone else?"

  He dropped his hand. Stepped away.

  "You're right." He rubbed his face. "I shouldn't be here, but I couldn't let you go without… In the back of my mind I always figured you'd be back. You know, to be with Phury. I always thought that I would see you again, even if it was from a distance."

  So help her, God, she was sick of this. "Why the hell would you care if you saw me?"

  He just shook his head and turned for the door. Which made her nearly violent.

  "Answer me! Why do you care if I don't ever come back?"

  He had his hand on the knob as she screamed at him, "Why do you care?"

  "I don't."

  She launched herself across the room, intending to hit him, claw him, mak
e him hurt, she was so frustrated. But he wheeled around, and instead of slapping him she grabbed his head and dragged his mouth to hers. His arms snapped around her, holding her hard enough so she couldn't breathe. As his tongue shot into her mouth, he picked her up and headed for the bed.

  Desperate, angry sex was a bad idea. A very bad idea.

  They were tangled on the mattress in a split second. He had her jeans off and was about to bite through her panties when a knock sounded on the door.

  Fritz's voice came through the panels, pleasant and respectful. "Madam, if your bags are ready—"

  "Not now, Fritz," Zsadist said in a guttural voice. He bared his fangs, shredded the silk between her thighs, and licked up the center of her. "Fuck…"

  His tongue went down again and he lapped at her, moaning. She bit her lip to keep from crying out and held on to his head, gyrating her hips.

  "Oh, master, I beg your pardon. I thought you were at the training center—"

  "Later, Fritz."

  "But of course. How long would you—"

  The rest of the doggen's words were cut off as Zsadist's erotic growl told Fritz everything he needed to know. And probably a little more.

  "Oh… my goodness. Forgive me, master. I will not return for her things until I, ah… see you."

  Zsadist's tongue swirled around as his hands clamped on her thighs. He drove her hard, all the time whispering hot, starved things against her secret flesh. She pushed herself against his mouth, arching up. He was so raw, so voracious… she shattered apart. He teased the orgasm out for the longest time, keeping it going as if he were desperate not to have it fade.

  The stillness afterward chilled her as much as his mouth's release of her core. He rose up from between her legs, his hand wiping across his lips. As he looked down at her, he licked his palm, catching every last bit of what he'd removed from his face.

  "You're going to stop now, aren't you," she said roughly.

  "I told you. I didn't come here for sex. I only wanted this. I only wanted to have you against my mouth one last time."

  "You selfish bastard." And how ironic was it to be calling him that for not fucking her. God… This was just awful.