From London with Love

by Jemma Forte

  ‘Thanks,’ she said, mildly horrified by how things were going so far. ‘I’m really pleased to be here, and I loved your show the other week with Michael Sheen. He was such an awesome guest.’

  ‘He was very good, wasn’t he?’ said Mike, giving Jessica the visual once-over. ‘So whereabouts are you from in the States then?’ he asked, pleased that Kerry’s new assistant was so attractive. She was by no means beautiful, but had something about her. Plus you could tell she took care of herself. Nice toned legs.

  ‘LA,’ she replied hesitantly. The less she talked about home, the better.

  ‘Very nice too. Can’t imagine why you’d want to leave really. Which part of LA? I know it a bit,’ said Mike, leaning back in his chair and chewing idly on a biro.

  ‘Um, Santa Monica,’ she said, blushing to her roots. Lying wasn’t something that came particularly naturally to her, but the truth would only provoke more questions. If he really did know LA a bit then he would also know that only the very rich, or the very rich and famous, lived in beachside Malibu mansions.

  ‘Actually, while I’ve got you here, Kerry,’ said Mike, with the distracted air of a man with a lot on his mind, ‘have you had confirmation from Will Smith’s people for August?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Kerry. ‘We’re on, and unless something unforeseen happens we should be good to go. Obviously I’ve guaranteed that Bradley will talk about the movie, and that we’ll show a clip.’

  ‘Cool. The Pentagon is going to be huge. The effects are amazing,’ said Jessica enthusiastically. It was weird hearing something familiar mentioned when so far away from home. Will Smith was a friend of her dad’s and she’d already seen quite a bit of The Pentagon because Vincent had written two songs for the soundtrack. Kerry shot her a puzzled look just as Jessica was realizing she may have said too much, but Mike didn’t seem to have noticed.

  ‘Good stuff. That’ll be a great show and, with the line-up looking so good this week, we should be back on top.’ As Mike finished speaking he let out the most enormous yawn. ‘Sorry, do excuse me.’

  ‘Baby still keeping you awake?’ enquired Kerry.

  Mike nodded.

  ‘Oh, wow. Do you have a baby?’ asked Jessica, fascinated.

  ‘Mmm, two actually. Grace is three and a bit and Ava’s about seven weeks now. Knackering business, but still – all good, you know.’

  Jessica didn’t really know at all but thought how terribly exciting it must be to have a tiny baby in your life.

  ‘Well, hopefully you’ll have a nice rest on holiday,’ said Kerry.

  Mike forced himself to resist snorting with disbelief. He had a sneaky suspicion his holiday was going to be far from restful and was almost regretting having booked it, but all he said out loud was, ‘Hopefully. If the office doesn’t run amok while I’m away.’

  ‘Sure it won’t,’ said Kerry, signalling to Jessica that it was time to leave the boss to it.

  ‘Oh, hang on a sec,’ said Mike absent-mindedly, having already turned his attention back to his in-box. ‘Speaking of holiday. Do you think it would be cheeky of me to ask one of the runners to water our garden a couple of times while we’re away? Diane, my wife, reckons this hot weather might be here to stay.’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ said Kerry, who was really. Personally, she thought it was a bloody cheek to ask the poor runners who were on such a shit wage to give up their precious time just to go and water his garden.

  ‘You’re probably right,’ said Mike quickly. He could tell Kerry didn’t really approve. ‘I’ll see if I can get a neighbour to do it.’

  ‘Isn’t your sprinkler system working?’ asked Jessica, sounding disarmingly sincere.

  ‘Er … we don’t have one,’ said Mike, looking bemused.

  ‘Really?’ said Jessica, thinking that maybe here was a fabulous window of opportunity to show her new bosses just how keen she was to muck in. ‘I could do it,’ she offered, and Mike and Kerry both looked at her questioningly, wondering faintly if she was taking the piss. Realizing she was serious, Kerry shook her head as forcefully as she could without Mike seeing.

  ‘Honestly, Kerry, I really wouldn’t mind,’ said Jessica, misinterpreting her completely. ‘It would be an honour.’

  Kerry groaned. What the hell was she talking about?

  ‘Really?’ said Mike. ‘Well, that’s certainly very kind of you. Where do you live? I’m in Chiswick.’

  ‘OK, well, I’m in …’

  As Mike and Kerry waited for an answer, Jessica panicked. Where should she say? Not the Dorchester, that was for sure. She tried to remember the name of the place where Pam lived but her mind had gone blank. She plumped for the first place that popped into her head.

  ‘I’m in Walford.’

  ‘Walford?’ repeated Mike. ‘I’m not sure I know where that is, though it certainly sounds familiar.’

  Kerry (EastEnders’ biggest fan) was looking very doubtful, while Jessica was praying Mike wouldn’t make the connection to the soap. Why the hell had she said Walford? She wasn’t even sure the place actually existed.

  ‘Anyway,’ she said now hastily, ‘I’m sure I could get to Chiswick really easily so I’d be happy to do it. I wouldn’t mind at all. I don’t have much on at the weekends and I love getting the tube, so –’

  ‘Now you’re really taking the mickey, aren’t you?’ interrupted Kerry who, plain-speaking as ever, simply had to find out.

  Jessica blinked, confused. ‘Er, no.’

  Kerry shook her head again. Who in their right mind liked getting the tube? And how … weird to both suck up to the boss and take the piss out of him, all on your first day.

  ‘OK, well, let me talk to Diane, and thanks very, very much, Jessica. I really appreciate the offer,’ said Mike, giving her his most dazzling grin. Jessica puffed up with pleasure, feeling enormously smug that on day one she’d already managed to ingratiate herself with the boss by appearing helpful and hard-working, like a normal girl who was ready to pull her sleeves up and get stuck in, something which would surely curry favour with Kerry. When they left the office, however, Kerry shot her an extremely odd look.

  ‘What?’ asked Jessica, dismayed. ‘Have I done something wrong?’

  ‘Not wrong, just … you don’t really like getting the tube, do you?’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ reassured Jessica. ‘I love it. It’s just wonderful for people watching.’

  ‘Right,’ said Kerry, in a tone that made Jessica’s heart sink. ‘And what the hell was all that Walford stuff about? I admit it was quite funny, but don’t get too clever on your first day, will you?’

  ‘No,’ said Jessica, shocked once again at being spoken to so bluntly. ‘I won’t, I really wasn’t meaning to –’

  ‘Don’t worry about it,’ said Kerry. ‘Like I said before, each to their own, but we should get on with some work now, if that’s OK? I want to talk you through the next couple of months’ shows, who I have and haven’t got booked and confirmed at this stage. Then I’ll show you my contacts list and we can discuss some ideas. Good?’

  ‘Good,’ said Jessica, determined not to say anything else that might annoy Kerry.

  ‘Did you meet Mike then?’ asked Natasha casually as they approached their desks. She was busy typing away.

  ‘Yeah, he seems like such a nice guy,’ said Jessica.

  Natasha stopped typing and looked up, her gaze drifting between Jessica and Kerry. ‘Do you mean nice as in nice-looking?’ she asked, the picture of innocence.

  ‘Oh, gosh, no,’ said Jessica blushing. ‘I meant nice as in nice. As in, he seems like a really nice person.’

  ‘Who’s a really nice person?’ asked Paul, who was passing, and Kerry felt her buttocks tense.

  ‘Mike,’ said Jessica. ‘He’s even letting me water his plants while he’s away on holiday.’

  Kerry cringed and briefly considered clamping Jessica’s mouth shut with her hand. Positivity didn’t go down well in this office. Instead the three ‘sms’ were the order
of the day: pessimism, cynicism, sarcasm.

  Paul stopped in his tracks and, as if by magic, Luke and Julian the director appeared, having sensed that something more interesting than work was happening over in this corner of the office.

  ‘Get this,’ said Paul in a voice dripping with disdain. ‘You’ll never guess what Mike’s done. He’s been so kind, he’s actually letting Jessica here – it is Jessica, isn’t it? He’s actually letting her water his garden for him while he pisses off on holiday for a fortnight, leaving us all in the shit. Isn’t that good of him?’

  Luke flung his head back and laughed. ‘Seriously?’ he said to Jessica. ‘He’s got you watering his plants already? I hope he’s giving you something extra for your troubles.’

  ‘Leave it out,’ tried Kerry.

  ‘Oh, no,’ said Jessica, having concluded wrongly that they all thought she was getting paid extra to do it, in which case they might think she was being devious or money-grabbing, which wasn’t how she wanted to appear at all. ‘I was saying to Kerry that I only offered because it would be a real pleasure to help and I love getting the tube so …’

  ‘Yeah, well, you probably use an imaginary station that’s far better than the ones I’m used to,’ said Kerry.

  ‘What?’ asked Paul, clearly intrigued.

  ‘She told Mike she lived in Walford,’ said Kerry flatly.

  Paul laughed. ‘As in EastEnders? Why did you do that?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ admitted Jessica. ‘I guess it just popped into my head and –’

  ‘So where do you really live?’

  This time, thankfully, the name of the place where Pam lived came to her. ‘Hampstead,’ she said, sounding terribly proud when in fact she was just relieved.

  ‘Figures,’ Paul replied. He should have known she’d live in one of the smartest parts of London, but there was no need for her to sound so smug about it.

  ‘Meaning what?’ asked Jessica, who was seriously considering jacking the job in already. She half felt like walking out and not stopping till she got to Heathrow.

  ‘Meaning nothing,’ said Paul, not nastily but wearily. ‘Christ, I’m not sure I can handle these American babblings on a Monday morning. Day one and you’ve signed up for extra curriculum activities with Mike already. You’ll be cheerleading next. Give us an “M”, give us an “I”, et cetera.’

  Jessica’s face fell. She chewed her lip as the awkwardness she was feeling gave way to outrage. Who was this creep? How dare he judge her for being American? And since when did he think American-bashing was all right? If he were talking about any other race it would be deemed racist.

  ‘I thought the English were supposed to be polite,’ she said quietly, a steely edge to her voice that Paul didn’t seem to hear.

  ‘You’ll be making some of the other Mike fans in this office very jealous if you’re not careful,’ a man who Jessica hadn’t yet been introduced to added drolly. He looked like he was only half listening as he scrolled through the messages on his BlackBerry. ‘I’m Julian, the director, by the way. Oh my God, you’ll even have access to Mike’s pants drawer while he’s away. I’m betting he’s a jockey man myself.’

  ‘Oh, gee, er – I’m really not doing it because I’m a fan of his,’ floundered Jessica.

  Luke got up from his desk and, for the benefit of his watching audience, swaggered over to Natasha, walking like a cowboy. ‘You might not be a fan of his, Miss Bender, but someone else around here is,’ he said in a ridiculous voice, loaded with innuendo.

  Natasha, who was thoroughly enjoying the whole scene, burst out laughing. ‘Does it bug you, Paul?’ she said, batting her eyelashes coyly. ‘Does it upset you that our new girl fancies Mike too?’ she finished, knowing this would piss her ex off.

  At this, Jessica stood rooted to the spot feeling horribly embarrassed and unsure as to how her efforts to appear hard-working had been so wrongly translated. She could feel all the various undercurrents swirling around her and yet had no idea how to navigate them.

  Paul’s face rearranged itself into a scowl.

  ‘Oh, shut up, you two,’ said Kerry. ‘Give Jessica a break, will you? It is her first bloody day after all and you haven’t even bothered to say hello properly.’

  ‘Yes, I have,’ squealed Natasha indignantly. ‘Haven’t I, Jess?’

  Jessica nodded emphatically, already wary of this pretty blonde who seemed to have a complicated but not very well-hidden agenda.

  ‘You’re right, Kezza,’ said Paul, the scowl disappearing from his interesting face. Jessica couldn’t figure out whether he was incredibly gorgeous or incredibly off-putting. He had very dark hair and a long lock of it kept falling sporadically into his green-blue eyes. He was of average height and had typically English skin, pale with a hint of sunburn. Yet there was something very charismatic about him that elevated what could sound average on paper into far better in the flesh. He also had a slim but strong-looking body.

  ‘We’re being rude,’ he said, formally offering Jessica his hand to shake. ‘Welcome to The Bradley Mackintosh Show. It’s very nice to have you on the team, even if you have already fallen under the spell of Mr Mike Connor. In fact, we’re all having drinks later, so why don’t you come and we can fill you in on a few things? Drum some of that eagerness to please out of you?’

  ‘Um, well, maybe,’ said Jessica, unsure how to respond, but relieved that Paul, who was obviously a main player in the office, had decided to be nice to her after all. At this rate, she was pretty sure the only thing she’d be able to face after work was her bed, so didn’t want to commit. ‘I’ll see how I go, though I tend not to drink much really.’

  Paul rolled his eyes and shrugged at Kerry before strolling off, as if to say ‘I tried, but what can you do?’

  Jessica sighed. She had a lot to learn and if she was going to survive in this office she’d better start learning it quick. So far, her two very brief encounters with Paul had made her stomach churn, and not in a good way. In a way that was warning her to steer clear of him and his quick-witted tongue. He clearly didn’t suffer fools gladly, something that, due to the cultural differences between her and her new colleagues, she was probably appearing to be. This she could cope with, but if he ever teased her again about being American she’d have to say something. Still, he was obviously fond of Kerry, so maybe he was OK. Maybe he just did a good impression of being an asshole.

  ‘You going to Sue’s drinks later?’ asked Luke nonchalantly, to no one in particular.

  ‘Who, me?’ said Kerry, and Luke nodded, shrugging at the same time.

  ‘Course I am, why?’

  ‘Just wondered,’ said Luke. ‘Thought you might have some more Internet dates lined up, that’s all.’

  Kerry looked daggers at him. ‘Don’t you bloody start. Even if I did, I’m hardly likely to give you any more rope to hang me with. I’ll leave that to my new assistant, thanks.’

  Jessica looked up, startled.

  ‘Joking,’ said Kerry quickly. ‘Anyway, if you must know, I’m giving up on all that malarkey for a while. I’ve decided to let true love find me.’

  She winked at Jessica as she said this, indicating that she might not be telling the entire truth and Jessica giggled. Luke nodded and walked away, looking as if he’d hardly even registered the answer, but Jessica noticed that the back of his neck had gone pink. Suddenly she wondered if the intuitive Kerry might not be quite so perceptive after all, or at least not when it came to reading signs that were pointing her way.

  ‘Right,’ said Kerry, her manner switching to businesslike and efficient. ‘Can we please get on with some bloody work?’

  12

  That evening Jessica returned to her room after yet another long workout in the hotel gym. As anticipated, her first day had been so gruelling that the last thing she’d felt like was going for a drink. Still, given that she’d never even met ‘Sue’, it wasn’t like she’d be missed and, besides, she needed to make the most of the gym before she moved
into Pam’s at the weekend, something they’d now definitely agreed on. She headed for the shower.

  A short while later Jessica emerged from the steamy fug of the bathroom to find her cell phone beeping away at her. She had four missed calls, though before she’d had time to check who they were from, it rang again. ‘Hello?’ she answered.

  ‘Jess? It’s Dulcie. Where are you? I’ve been trying you for ages. Edward told Dad you’ve gone away. Why didn’t you tell me you were going?’

  Finally, Jessica thought. Finally she’d stopped yabbering long enough to realize she hadn’t seen or heard from her ‘best friend’ in nearly three whole weeks.

  ‘I did try to tell you, a few times actually.’

  ‘Well, where are you?’ Dulcie huffed.

  ‘London,’ she replied, unable to prevent a happy grin from spreading across her face.

  ‘What are you doing there? Are you having a vacation? I thought you hated shopping trips?’

  ‘I’m not on a shopping trip,’ stated Jessica firmly, reaching over for the fluffy robe that was hanging on the back of the bathroom door and manoeuvring herself into it, before lying down on the bed and wriggling into the big, square pillows. No matter how strange things with Dulcie had been lately, she was excited to finally be able to fill her in on what was happening in her life. ‘I’m actually hoping to be here for a while,’ she began. ‘Remember at your drinks how I told you I left my job at the gallery and split up with Shawn? Well, all in all I really felt like I needed a change. To be honest with you, I’d been feeling unhappy for a while and –’

  ‘Can I ask you something?’ Dulcie interrupted.

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Has you leaving got anything to do with me marrying Kevin? Because if it has, I would understand. I mean, it would be natural, right?’

  Wrong, thought Jessica, experiencing familiar stirrings of irritation. Since when did everything have to come back to her getting married? And she hoped Dulcie wasn’t suggesting she might be jealous, because she couldn’t be more wrong. Marriage was something she never planned on doing, given that she was completely against the whole idea of it.