Poison Hearts
Page 6
"Hi Lauren. I called to see if you wanted to go to a movie Friday night?" Leonard asked. Leonard had loved Lauren for years.
He was fun to be with but she'd laughed when he suggested marriage. Lauren remembered the night he'd asked her. They had just come from a night of skating when he'd popped the question.
"Lauren, I know I don't have much money right now, but I have a job and it will grow into a better paying one. I couldn't give you diamonds or furs but I can give you love. Will you marry me?" he asked, his eyes filled with tears. At first she thought he was joking but when she saw the tears she realized he was serious.
"I'm sorry Leonard...I thought you were only kidding. I can't marry you...you know that."
"Why?” he asked. “You’re the girl I love and want to live with for the rest of my life."
"I'm sorry Leonard. I like you, you're my best friend, but don't ask me to marry you."
Leonard looked at Lauren for a long time, and then he sighed and started up the car.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Well if you don't want to be around me, I might as well take you home." The car jerked and he backed out of the spot, his tires squealing as he peeled out of the park.
"I'm sorry Leonard, really I am.
Leonard was silent the rest of the way home and Lauren felt tears welling up inside. She didn't know why she felt so bad, it wasn't as if she were in love with him or something. He stopped at her door and walked her up to the porch, then waited quietly as she went inside. For the next month Leonard stayed away, and she felt such loneliness inside that she finally called him and they resumed their friendship once again. He had never asked her to marry him again.
Lauren suddenly remembered he had asked her a question, but she wasn't up to going out. "Well, it depends on how my mother's feeling. Can I let you know tomorrow?" she replied hesitantly.
"Sure. Want some company tonight?" he continued, trying to keep her on the line. Leonard cared deeply for Lauren but she treated him like a brother. Yet he still kept hoping that one day she'd see how much he cared for her.
"Not tonight, I'm really tired and I still have laundry to do, but call me tomorrow. I've got to go now, mother's calling me," she replied hastily as she hung up the phone.
"Who was that dear?" her mother asked as Lauren set the coffee down on the nightstand.
"Just a friend," she replied quickly. She knew if she told her mother it was Leonard she'd insist she invite him over. "Guess I'll throw a load of clothes in," Lauren replied. "Can I get you anything else before I start?"
"No, I'm fine. I just wish you'd rest more and let me do something around here. Some days I can get out and do some of the work, but you always make sure everything is done Lauren. I feel like such a burden on you." Tears started and Lauren felt so bad for her mother. She knew how bad she felt, but she didn't want her to be doing housework.
"Now mother, we've been over this time and time again. You don't need to do anything other than rest like the doctors told you. Please don't cry mother. I love you and you're not a burden. I'm young and strong, why shouldn't I do some of the work?"
Lauren hugged her mother and gave her a kiss, then left the room before she began to cry herself. She didn't like for her mother to see her crying, it only upset her and made it that much harder to breathe. God, she thought, why had her father been such a heel?
He could have given them enough money to live on, and still have plenty for himself. Well, one day it would all be hers.
After finishing the laundry, Lauren turned on the tv and sat on the sofa. She looked around the small cramped living room, the wallpaper peeling, the furniture on its last legs, but it was all they could afford. It was still snowing outside and the flakes were getting larger. She covered up with the peach afghan to keep warm in the drafty apartment, and before long she dozed off into a deep sleep. The sound of a siren wailing in the night woke her. She looked at the clock over the fireplace. It was 2 am. Lauren got up and went in to check on her mother who was sleeping peacefully. She went back to the sofa and laid down.
A knock on the door woke Lauren around seven am. She jumped up realizing she'd be late for sure today if she didn't hurry.
"Morning Lisa," she replied as she opened the door to let the nurse in. "I've got to hurry or I'll be late. I overslept."
"Well, you go get your shower and I'll put on some coffee," Lisa replied as she headed to the kitchen. She had been coming to take care of Carol for two years now twice a week and knew where everything was. She felt so sorry for Lauren, and could feel her pain. She knew how much the girl loved her mother, and to have to watch her suffering was more than a young girl should have to bear.
"Thanks," Lauren gulped down a cup of coffee before heading out the door. "See you tonight."
The roads were a little slick with the newly fallen snow as she drove carefully to work. Not many people out this morning, Lauren thought remembering that at least she wouldn't run into any buses. All the kids were out of school for Christmas vacation. It was beautiful outside with the white snow covering the trees and the rooftops. Everything was eerily quiet and peaceful and Lauren wished life were as beautiful. However, life was ugly, she had learned that the hard way, and it wouldn't be long now before things would be different, she just needed to have patience.
She pulled into the driveway and parked. She looked at the beautiful big white house, and dreamed of what it would be like to own something like that. To have a maid to do her work and she would sit around and play cards with the women's club. Oh well, she had better get going, her work wouldn't get done that way.
She let herself in and headed for the kitchen. "Well hello there," Andrew said as Lauren passed through the hallway. "How are the roads?"
"They're really not too bad, a few slick spots here and there, but it's so beautiful and peaceful out. I hate to come inside almost."
"The coffee's ready. Hope you don't mind but I got up early and needed some coffee to get me going. Would you like a cup?" he asked.
"Thanks. I could use another cup this morning too," she replied as Andrew handed her a cup of the freshly brewed coffee. Lauren wasn't use to someone being that nice and not wanting something in return. Nevertheless, she had gotten to know Andrew and knew that he was a sincere person. There weren't many men like him out there and she hoped Christina knew how lucky she was to have him for a friend. Just then Maureen poked her head in the kitchen.
"Why Andrew what are you doing fraternizing with the hired help and waiting on them to. She's here to wait on us, not to have us wait on her," she implied with a hint of jealousy in her voice. There was something about Lauren that Maureen didn’t trust. She couldn’t put her finger on it, it was just a feeling she had.
"Lauren, we don't pay you to sit and drink coffee either," she said sternly, her brows drew together in an angry frown. Andrew retained his affability, but there was a distinct hardening of his eyes as he stared at Maureen. He knew that there was a lot of hostility between the two, and he felt that Maureen was too hard on the girl.
An unwelcome blush crept into Lauren’s cheeks as she sat her cup down and began to unload the dishwasher. Her embarrassment turned quickly to annoyance as she hurled the pots into the cupboard. One day she thought she would get even with Maureen, miss high and mighty. She would not be looking down on her then.
"Maureen, that was totally uncalled for," Andrew's curt voice lashed out. He was really beginning to get annoyed with her. “Why can’t you be more pleasant to people. She was not doing anything wrong, just sitting here having a cup of coffee.”
"She's here to do a job, not to socialize," Maureen snapped angrily. "Why are you being so friendly with her anyway?" she asked accusingly. "You got the hots for her or something?"
"I won't even dignify that with an answer," he replied seething with anger, his face a glowing mask of rage. Andrew stomped out of the room.
Maureen shot Lauren a hateful look as she turned to follow Andrew.
"What's all the commotion?" Christina asked eyeing Maureen suspiciously.
"I don't know," Maureen answered. "I just told Andrew that it wasn't right for him to be waiting on Lauren. She's here to work. Guess he didn't like it."
Christina knew well enough that Maureen must have instigated it. "Look it's Christmas time, you could be a little nicer. Don't be so hard on Lauren. She’s more than a maid here, she’s a friend also and I don’t want you to say anything more to her. You’re not the boss here.
I'm warning you Maureen I won't take much more of it." It was the first time Christina had taken control and Maureen didn't like that very well. She didn’t know why Christina couldn’t see that there was something about this girl that wasn’t right. Maureen felt as though something terrible was going to happen, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. It was just a feeling she had.
Maureen stomped off to her room and grabbed a few pills and swallowed them quickly. Her heart raced with anger as she turned the radio up. She was only trying to help, and it was true she didn’t like Lauren, and didn’t trust her.
Damn, she said to herself as she checked the drawers. She had no crack left and she was running out of pills, and no money left to get more. Maureen felt the shaking starting. She knew she'd have to get more soon, and that meant stealing another statue from her sister to pay for it. She'd just blame it on Lauren if Christina noticed any of them gone.
Maureen hated this life she was leading, and wished that she could stop taking the pills, but she needed them just to get through the day. She began to sweat, her heart beating faster and harder. She wanted to confide in her sister and just tell her that she hadn’t stopped doing the drugs like she thought. But the thought of Christina looking at her with disappointment stopped her from that. Sometimes she even wished she would just overdose and get it over with.
She lay across the bed, hoping she could fall asleep, but knowing it was impossible. When she was sleeping, the nightmares kept on. Her mind wandered back to that night.
It had been Christmas Eve and she had been doing drugs all night. Her second husband had gotten her started on crack, and at first she'd liked it, but soon the trips were scary. She remembered her son Charles was singing carols and they had the presents around the tree.
She was walking around the room, so high she could hardly move, laughing as she saw Charles singing, begging her to sing with him. Then she tripped and landed on the floor, knocking the candle over. Flames began to spread to the tree, catching it on fire.
“Mommy, get up” Charles screamed as he tugged on her hands trying to get her up.
“I can’t honey ….its’ all right, the fire won’t hurt you.” She remembered laughing as the flames began to climb higher. She remembered Charles’s white face as he struggled to get his mother up.
“It’s hot mommy, I’m burning. Please mommy, get up.” He was crying now and she could hear his screams of terror as he tried with all his might to get her up and out of the house. He was only seven, but he was pretty strong. The last thing Maureen remembered was his scared face as he kept on pulling on her hand.
Maureen woke up in the hospital. Her ex-husband, James came in and she remembered what had happened.
“How’s Charles,” she screamed. Now she remembered his face, and felt his hands as he tried to pull her up.
“He’s got some burns from where he tried to get you up. Other than that, he’s all right, no thanks to you. I will never forgive you for that. I know you were high on your drugs and couldn’t get up.” He stood glaring at Maureen, his face red.
“I want to see him,” Maureen screamed suddenly aware that she was in a room with bars on the doors.
“I’m going to make sure you never see him again, Maureen. You almost killed our son, and I’m through with you.” He strode to the door, his face contorted in anger. “I never want to see you again, and I will make sure that you never see your son either.
“Wait, don’t go, “she screamed. “I’m sorry. I was high and things happened so fast….please.” Maureen collapsed back on the bed as he slammed the door behind him. She heard the nurses come into the room and give her a shot, and then she blacked out.
The next month Maureen stayed at the hospital going through detox. James had an attorney and for now Maureen was not allowed to see their son. He had turned his life around after Maureen left him, and married her ex best friend.
James filed for a divorce and won sole custody of Charles. She was allowed only supervised visits with Charles, and noticed as time went on, Charles didn’t really want to see her, and she knew James was turning him against her. Soon, she just stopped going, as it was too hard on both of them.
For the next year Maureen had stayed clean, then one day she was watching television when she saw a little boy who looked like Charles. She listened as the reporter went on. “Today a tragedy happened when six year old Michael was playing inside the house. His mother Trudy had been doing cocaine and alcohol since early morning. The boy according to Trudy was loud and making too much noise. Her head was hurting and all she wanted to do was sleep. She remembers picking up the flat iron and hitting him on the head with it until she had bashed his head in. Then she went on to bed.
Her husband came home from work and found the child lying in a pool of blood. She was arrested and will stand trial for first degree murder.”
Maureen began crying as she knew that story could have been hers. There had been many times in the past when she felt the same way after doing drugs, but the difference was, she hadn’t hurt her son. She knew she was out of control, but still she needed that drug to get her through the days. Christina thought she had given it up, and she could put on a good act in front of her sister, but Maureen knew it was only a matter of time before Christina figured it out
Maureen knew that Tyler suspected she was back on the drugs, but she didn’t really care what he thought, as long as he didn’t tell Christina. Life had no meaning anymore. She stopped visiting Charles because she felt so guilty, and was afraid that one day she would do the same thing to him. She loved her son more than life, but not more than that next fix. It had a hold on her and she could not break it.
Many times when Maureen was out on the streets, she didn’t know what she was doing and often woke up in some man’s bed, or a motel room. Charles could have died and it would have been her fault. Every night she cried in her pillow for the son she could not raise. Often she would sit outside the school and watched as Charles left the school. He never saw her, but she saw him and the pain was so bad she was sure she couldn’t stand it much longer. Maureen never showed that side of herself, never told anyone her feelings of self-worth.
Maureen came back to the present time when she heard Christina talking to Lauren. "I'm sorry for the way Maureen acted," she apologized. "I really don't know why she has to be so cruel. Don't take it personal, Lauren. She does everyone that way. Ever since she lost her son, she has been a different person. I try to help her, but she won’t talk about it."
"Morning Rusty," Lauren murmured as she passed him in the hallway. "There's coffee in the kitchen and breakfast will be ready soon."
"Coffee sounds great," he replied with a cheerful grin on his face.
Andrew was sitting in the den when Christina walked in and sat down beside him. "Sorry about Maureen," she replied softly. "Sometimes she gets way out of line. I feel so bad for her, but at the same time, I get so angry. I love my sister and want to help her, but she acts as if nothing is wrong. I hope she’s not doing drugs again."
"It's not your fault," Andrew answered softly. "Let's not let her ruin the holiday spirit. Maybe she was just having a bad day. We all have them at one time or other.”
Christina knew he was just being polite and that he tried to overlook Maureen's temper tantrums. Christina was beginning to wonder about Maureen's mood swings but she didn't want
to believe it had anything to do with drugs. She'd been to rehab and was clean now. She wouldn't start taking them again, would she?
"It's so peaceful in here," Andrew said as he moved closer to Christina. Her heart turned over in response every time his eyes met hers. Her whole being seemed to be filled with anticipation, she felt the sexual magnetism that attracted her to him intensely yet knew she had to keep it under control. She tried to throttle the dizzying current racing through her as his hand touched hers gently. Her body ached to be consumed by his. I can't do this to Tyler she thought as she quickly turned her face away from Andrew. He was so close she felt the heat from his body.
She stood and walked to the window and opened the blinds. "Look it's snowing again. We may get stranded here for days." Christina laughed. She loved the snow. It always made everything look so beautiful, and she loved to play in it.
Andrew's eyes sparkled at the prospect of that. What more could a man want than to be snowed in with a beautiful woman like Christina. He looked at her intently and she had to fight the overwhelming need to be close to him at that moment.
Just then Maureen popped into the room. "Am I interrupting something?" she asked with a devilish grin on her face as she stared at Christina. "I just thought I should apologize for my rude behavior earlier. I'm really sorry Andrew. Do you forgive me?" she asked, her eyes widened with false innocence. She had run upstairs and gotten some pills, and now she felt much better.
"It's ok, forget it." Andrews clear blue eyes studied her face to see the depth of her sincerity.
"Would you like me to get some coffee or hot chocolate?" she asked, and for a moment she seemed genuinely sincere. Maureen was a beauty, and she knew how to use her looks to get what she wanted. Andrew felt that she was trying very hard to make up for her words earlier, and he smiled.