by Toni Aleo
He gives me a stony look, shaking his head. “Ally, you’re worth everything and then some.”
Oh, the butterflies in my stomach are on crack. “Then what’s wrong?”
He takes in a deep breath, and his bottom lip presses into my top as his nose moves with mine. His eye slowly falls shut, and then he leans his head against mine. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just overwhelmed,” he says, opening his eye, and I can see that in his expression. He likes everything laid out. He meets a girl, and if he likes her, he sleeps with her. With me, it’s different. He knows he likes me, we have history, and I understand his fears. I shouldn’t be surprised by his indecisiveness—he doesn’t like to take a gamble—but I figured, with me, he’d roll the dice. He knows me. “So many thoughts are going through my mind.”
I cup his cheek, running my thumb along his lips. He leans into my hand, such a beautiful, blissful look on his face. “Like what?”
He grins. “About ninety percent are dirty, and the other ten are extremely cautious.”
I quirk my lips. “Can I say I think we should throw caution to the wind and take what we want?”
He inhales deeply. “Is it bad that I want to do that and not take you out first?”
I grin even though I’m biting my lip. “Not at all.”
“I take great pride in the fact that I’m not a fuckboy. And to take you out those doors right there into the stairwell where I will fuck you like no other is a total fuckboy move.”
I beam. “You can take me out there, fuck me seven ways to Sunday until I can’t breathe, die, and then come back to life, and even then, Ash, I wouldn’t think you’re a fuckboy.”
He fights back a grin as he runs his lips along mine. “Promise? Because you know, I wouldn’t dis—”
“Ash.”
His eyes are bright. “Yeah?”
“Kiss me.”
Before the request even leaves my lips, his lips are capturing mine. Oh, thank God! While we kiss, he’s carrying me to the side door in a rush. I squeeze his hips between my thighs as our lips move together in unison. I didn’t even think I could be as fully turned on by a kiss as I am now. Asher holds me in one arm while he uses his other to push the door open. Once we’re in the stairwell, he presses me into the door, and I hear the click of the door as he tears his lips from mine, running them and his tongue along my jaw and neck. I let my head fall back into the door as I hold his shoulders, my whole body vibrating beneath his touch.
“Fuck, you taste good.”
I lick my lips as his teeth rake against my neck. “I took a shower and even washed my hair.”
He grins against my neck since we both know I’m lazy. “I’m so proud.”
I lower my feet to the floor, and then we’re undressing each other. My shirt goes first, and his jaw actually drops at the sight of my chest. “No bra?”
“I have nothing to contain.”
He scoffs, grasping my right boob with his palm. “This is a beautiful mouthful.”
I’ve always been a little self-conscious of my breast size—what girl isn’t—but under his gaze, I feel I’m more than enough. “Really?”
“I’ve always thought your boobs were hot,” he admits, squeezing my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. My nipples are hard within seconds, and I take in a deep breath. I pull at his shirt, and he lifts it up and over his head, dropping it to join my shirt on the floor.
His chest is defined, with thick, coarse hair along his pecs and torso. I slide my fingers through the hair, and I’m breathless. I lean my head back again as his lips move with mine once more. He skates his hands along my stomach to my breasts, squeezing and cupping them as he leans into me. I can feel every single inch of him, and knowing that, at any second, he could be inside me, I’m starting to feel as if I’m not here. As if I’m on the outside looking in.
I need this to happen.
Now.
I run my hands along his stomach to the button on his jeans. I undo them, and it catches him off guard. He tears his mouth away, and his gaze burns into mine. I fight for my breath as I unzip his jeans. It’s difficult because I’m shaking so bad, but I want this. Our gazes don’t break as I push his pants down his hips. They hit the floor with a thud from his wallet in the back pocket. I swallow hard as I move my gaze down his body to between us. His boxers are gray, tight on his body, and there is no hiding his cock. It’s a long, thick bulge in his boxers.
Oh. Fuck. That’s Asher’s cock.
I take in a deep breath at the sight of him, before our eyes meet once more. He licks his lips as his thumbs catch the inside of the waistband of my shorts before pulling them down agonizingly slowly. It’s as if he moves with his hands, lowering himself along with my shorts. Soon, he’s face-to-face with my pussy, and within seconds, I’m terrified. What if I stink? What if he doesn’t like my aroma? What if he doesn’t like bare pussy? I’ve never in my life been this self-conscious naked in front of a guy.
But Asher isn’t just some guy.
He’s the guy.
I watch as his shoulders rise with his intake of breath and then lower as he exhales. He leans forward, and I hold my breath as his lips press into mine. He takes in another deep breath, almost as if he is inhaling my scent, and everything goes blank. My head falls back, and soon, his words meet my ears.
“You are driving me fucking crazy.”
I swallow hard. “Same.”
I feel his grin against me before the tip of his tongue moves along the slit between my lips. I sigh loudly, my body shaking, and I swear, I’m ultrasensitive to his touch. He coasts his hands up my thighs, pressing his fingers into my skin as his tongue slowly licks inside my lips. His movements are slow, tentative, as he tastes me, but when his tongue touches my clit, I don’t know if it was because of the guttural moan that leaves my lips, but gone is the nervousness, and he doesn’t hold back. He spreads my lips open and sucks my clit into his mouth. I come off the door, gripping the back of his head, which knocks his beanie to the floor. He holds me in place with his forearms, licking and sucking on my pussy like he’s never wanted to do anything else in his life. I can’t breathe. I’m thrashing against the door, and nothing in my life has ever felt so good.
When I come undone, I arch into the door as I moan his name. My body shakes with aftershocks as he laps at my pussy with his tongue, his hands sliding up and down my thighs. He kisses my pelvic bone then my belly button before capturing the back of my knee. He stands, towering over me, looking at me in a way he’s never looked at me before.
And I feel irresistible.
I’m so lost in his eyes and those three words almost leave my lips, but then he’s inside me. I cry out in surprise. He’s huge and fills me completely. He pauses midthrust, and concern fills his beautiful features. “I’m not hurting you, am I?”
I shake my head quickly, wrapping my arms around his neck and arching back a bit so he can go deeper. “Not at all.”
His lips curve, and man, why did I wait so long for this? The way he looks at me… I didn’t even know I needed it the way I do. “You’re really gorgeous, Ally.” It’s pathetic to cry during sex, right? My eyes don’t listen to me, and they start to fill with tears. “Are you about to cry?”
I laugh. “I feel stupid,” I say, waving him off, but he captures my wrist.
I’m well aware of his cock still deep inside me—I’m sure he is too—but he reaches out to catch the tears that are rolling down my cheeks. “You’re not stupid.”
I swallow my sob. “This is overwhelming.”
He nods. “Agreed.”
“This is incredible,” I reassure him since I’m a basket case.
His lips curve even more. “And we’re not even done yet.”
Swoon. Yes, I swoon. His fingers bite into my thighs as he thrusts into me. It’s so hard, it brings me up on my tippy-toes. He presses his forehead into mine as he thrusts, each one harder than the last, until I am completely off my feet. He brings his hand to my other knee, pr
essing it into the wall as he fucks me hard and with purpose. It feels so damn good, and he’s hitting all the right spots. I may have teased him for his confidence in his abilities, but he wasn’t joking. He knows how to move his body into mine. His hips are dangerous, and the rhythm is an all-out mindfuck. Out of nowhere, I come hard around his cock. As I squeeze him, his moans get deeper and throatier. I swear, I may have come again from the dirtiness of his sounds. It feels as if his fingernails are breaking my skin as he holds me in place, thrusting up into me with so much force, I feel it everywhere.
I open my eyes, taking him in, and I know I’ve never seen a more gorgeous sight. His shoulders are taut, his jaw is clenched, and sweat drips down his forehead and chest, getting lost in his chest hair. I lean in, taking his mouth with mine, and then he shatters. It’s as if his soul leaves his body and then slams back in with the way he jerks into me. I drop my head back into the door as he groans loudly against my mouth. I feel his heart pounding in his chest as I trail kisses down his jaw and neck.
Once he catches his breath, he opens his eye and then smiles big. “Two things.”
I nod, still breathing as hard as he is. “I’m surprised you can think. I know you’re talking, but I’m unsure I’m able to hear you.”
He laughs and I grin. “Same. But I didn’t have a condom and I was selfish and didn’t look for one either, but I know you’re on birth control. So, you may be wrong, and I may very well be a closet fuckboy.”
I shake my head, fighting to hold back my laughter. “You’re not. We know each other.”
He leans in, moving his lips along mine. “I know, but still. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Fucked me against the wall or not worn a condom?”
His eye meets mine. “The condom part, because there was no stopping once I started.” I lick his top lip, and he smiles. “Secondly, I have never—and I mean, never ever—felt like that during sex. With anyone.”
I swallow hard, my eyes locking with his one. “Me either.”
Asher nods, sliding his nose along mine. “Can you give me a ride back to my place so I can regenerate and we can do it again?”
I exhale against his lips. “You make it sound like I killed you or something.”
He grins. “You did and ruined me for anyone else in this world.”
I bite into my lip as I get lost in his gray eye. “If everything goes the way I want it to, there won’t be anyone else.”
I see the apprehension in his gaze, but he masks it with a grin. “I like the sound of that.”
He takes my mouth. He can try to hide his fear, but I know it’s there. I know he isn’t lying to me; he wants this. He does, but he is scared. He doesn’t want to lose me, and I don’t want to lose him, but knowing he isn’t as confident in what we could have as I am scares the living shit out of me.
But this, us, is a chance I refuse not to take.
Chapter Nineteen
Asher
I always thought that it was so overdramatic and fake in movies when a couple started getting it on but then it cut to them falling back in bed all tired and spent, but now I realize maybe their sex is like Ally’s and mine. I fall back into my bed, unable to breathe, shaking all over, tired out of my mind, drained, and kicking myself for not doing this earlier with Ally.
I was a dumbass.
A really blind dumbass, and at the time, I had two good eyes.
Beside me, Ally gasps for breath along with me. I’m covered in sweat, throbbing in all the right places, and exhausted to the point where I’m going to need more than a drive home to regenerate. I’m gonna need a nap and maybe some sushi.
I draw in a deep breath as she cuddles into my side, gliding her fingers through the hair on my chest. Jasmine used to hate my chest hair, complained about it, but I didn’t care. I don’t mind it. I move my fingers up Ally’s back, loving the bumps of her spine and softness of her before nuzzling my nose in her hair.
“I lied,” I whisper, and she cuddles closer.
“About what?”
“Earlier, when I said you killed me, it was a lie. Because you really killed me that time.”
She giggles against my skin. “I’ve never enjoyed sucking dick like I just did.”
I can still feel her mouth on me. If my guy weren’t dead, he’d be up for another round, but nope, not right now. “Sushi. I need sushi.”
“Oh yeah, that sounds awesome.”
“Agreed. Though, I don’t want to move.”
“Me either.”
So, neither of us does. I kiss the top of her head, holding her close to me. She kisses the side of my pec, and I feel her lashes along my skin, letting me know her eyes are shut. I go back over what has transpired in the last four hours. It all seems so unreal, but Allison Titov is in my arms. I feel her naked body against mine. I can smell her, feel her on my lips, and still taste her.
I made love to my best friend, and I liked it. Immensely.
It almost made me forget that I am terrified of what could happen with her. Of the unknown. Of losing the one person who loves me inside and out and not because I put out. Since I have now put out, things will change drastically. Or at least, I think they will? Feelings can be felt. Real feelings. For each other.
Fuck me.
“Hey, Ally,” I ask against her head, and she sighs.
“I’m not getting up to order sushi. My phone is in my hoodie somewhere. You go find it.”
I grin against her hair. “No, not yet,” I say, kissing her. “But are we together now?”
She pauses. “Well, I’d hope so. I gave you the best head ever, so I thought that would lock you in.”
I laugh, cuddling her to me. “Yeah, it worked.” She smacks my chest as she laughs, and I smile against her hair. As much as it scares the living fuck out of me not knowing what will happen and if I’ll let myself fall for her, I’m not lying; she locked me down. “No. You locked me in way before that.”
“It was the volleyball net kiss, huh?”
I grin as I stare up at the ceiling. Man, that was a great kiss. “I think it might have been.”
“It was pretty awesome.”
“It was,” I agree, inhaling. “I don’t know how to act around you now.”
She scoffs. “Like yourself, dork.”
“But it’s different. I have to impress you.”
“Ash, shut up. You don’t. You already got me.”
“So? I have to keep you. Duh.” She grins against my skin. “It’s the truth. I can’t be acting all dorky and shit. I gotta be manly and buy you flowers—”
“Ew, no. I hate flowers, you know that.”
“I do,” I say, and damn, can it be that easy? I know every single thing about her, but she hasn’t ever been with a decent dude. All of them have been shit. “But the reason is because guys only got you flowers when they fucked up. I want to buy you flowers because you’re beautiful.”
She tilts her head up to look at me. “Wow.”
I nod. “Told you. I’m a pretty awesome boyfriend.”
“And you’re hung.”
I grin. “That too,” I say with a wink, and it’s then that I realize, I’m so comfortable. It’s as if we’ve been doing this forever, but it can’t be that simple. The transition from what we were into what we’re doing now can’t be this seamless. I told myself so long ago it wouldn’t be—I didn’t believe it could be, so instead I went for the easy choice that was right in my face. Jasmine. Now… Now I’m in bed with Ally, and I’m feeling all sorts of confusing things.
“I don’t know, Ally. Does it feel weird to you?”
She eyes me. “No. I feel pretty damn good.”
“I do too. I mean us. Isn’t it weird to take it to this level?”
She furrows her brows. “Do you think it’s weird?”
“No… I don’t know.” Her brows don’t relax, and she’s still eyeing me. I know that means she’s getting annoyed with me. “You hear all kinds of horror stories about friends ge
tting together and it going bad. But I guess we haven’t had time yet for it—”
“Asher.”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.” I narrow my gaze as I lean down, pressing my nose to hers. “Shut your brain off and enjoy what we are building here. We know two things—we are great friends, and sex is awesome between us. What could go wrong?”
“You could turn into a lesbian and leave me?” I go for the joke, because telling her I don’t know how to let myself be with her isn’t something I can say right now.
She snorts with laughter. “Not happening. I love dick. Yours, especially.” I don’t smile, and her eyes go soft. “Really? I know it broke your heart when that happened with Jasmine, but I really didn’t see it messing with your confidence.”
I swallow hard. “I don’t know if it’s my confidence or if it’s because it’s you.”
“What do you mean?”
I run my thumb along her jaw. It’s red in spots where I held her when we were going at it. “I have had the pleasure of being your number one for years and you mine, and we know that life. No one could come close to what we have. We’ve got that down. But now, we’re treading in uncharted waters. So much can go wrong—you could hate that I moan when I eat—”
“Actually, I think it’s hot. Always have.” She smiles. “We know each other, inside and out, Ash. Now we get to know each other as lovers.”
I press my thumb into her chin. “But what if we don’t like what we find out?”
She draws her lip between her teeth. “I guess that goes back to my previous question. Am I worth the risk?”
She is. I know she is. I feel it deep in my soul, but I don’t want to lose her. If I say that, though, it’ll be too deep and she’ll be worried. I don’t want her to know that I’m struggling with this. That I’m terrified I’ll lose not only my best friend but someone I now think I might be able to have a future with?