by Toni Aleo
“You’re right, which is why you’re back home.”
I nod. “Yeah. At first, I didn’t think so. But now, things are going well.”
“Just had to get things in order.”
“Agreed,” I say, leaning on my forearms. “Excited for the wedding circus game?”
Dad laughs. “You kids need to leave Shelli and Aiden alone. They just want to celebrate their love. It’s nice.”
I roll my eyes. “I have to do a group dance.”
He chokes on his drink. “That’s unfortunate.”
“It is,” I say gruffly. “I don’t want to.”
“I can tell.” He chuckles softly. “But it’s going to be a great time, especially the game.”
“So, you’ll play?”
He nods eagerly. “I’m already training. I have two objectives—get a goal, and slam your brother into the boards.”
I laugh loudly. “Great goals, Dad.”
“I thought you’d enjoy them,” he says with a grin, and soon our appetizers appear. “How’s Ally’s season going? I haven’t been able to make a game.”
I nod, a little too enthusiastically. “She’s killing it. They’re undefeated right now, which is awesome.”
“She’s always been a badass setter.”
“I know. I’m not sure how she is going to walk away.”
He scoffs. “She won’t. She’ll join a club, or hell, go back and coach.” I nod in agreement. “Or even scout.”
We share a grin. “I’ll tell her that.”
“Good. She’s a damn good girl.”
“Yeah.” I feel the heat creeping up my neck. I want to burst with how great she really is, but I know she wants to wait. I guess she’s right. It probably is for the best.
“So, I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you to lunch.”
I look up just as I take a huge bite of a mozzarella stick. “It crossed my mind,” I say around my chewing. “Am I in trouble?”
He shakes his head. “Not at all. You’re my good kid.”
I jerk my head back in surprise. “Am I?”
“Yes, you never cause issues. You’re level-headed and make good choices.”
I eye him. “Aiden makes good choices.”
He gives me a dry look. “That boy has seen more ass than a toilet seat. And somehow, he still landed a great girl. He had me worried he would turn into a younger me.”
I grin. “You turned out okay.”
He flashes a grin back at me. “Because of your mom.” We share a laugh. “And then Stella and Emery, man…” He doesn’t need to say more for me to nod in agreement. “But with you, you’ve always been good. Always had a good head on your shoulders. Always make the right decisions, the smart ones, and never really live on the edge.”
I feign hurt. “You’re making me sound really boring.”
He laughs. “I don’t mean this to offend you, bud, but you tend to be. And there is nothing wrong with that. It makes you who you are, solid and trustworthy.” Not sure where he is going with this, but that doesn’t keep me from reaching for another cheese stick. “Which is why when Aiden told me you started sleeping with Ally, I had a mini heart attack.”
My hand stops midway to my mouth. I meet his knowing gaze, and I swallow past the lump that appears in my throat. “Aiden told you that?”
“He did.”
I don’t know how, but I recover pretty quickly. No reason to lie. “Probably as payback for outing him and Shelli.”
“I’m guessing so. Gotta love brothers. Though, I never had any.”
“You couldn’t give me that luxury, huh?” He snorts as he holds my gaze. Neither of us says anything; we just stare into each other’s eyes. “So, are you upset with me?”
“No, not upset. Surprised.”
He holds my gaze, and I shrug. “No clue what to say here, Dad.”
“Why, bud? You had it so good with her. Did you really need to add sex?” he asks, and my heart jumps into my throat. “Was this just out of lust, or do you care for her?”
I lick my lips. I’m a little stunned here. “I care for her.”
He nods. “Because you told me you cared for Jasmine too. But I know you. I know you don’t take risks, and Ally is a risk. The same with Shelli. When Aiden got involved, I knew it would either be great or awful, which is the issue with our families being so intertwined. We love the Titovs, they’re great people, and we all know they put Ally on a pedestal. Hell, you too. They adore you, and taking this to the next level jeopardizes that. You do realize that?”
I swallow hard and then I nod. “I know, Dad. I’ve thought all of that through and almost lost Ally in the process because I was a jackass about the whole thing.”
“That’s unlike you. How do you mean?”
“She kissed me, and I ghosted her. She came at me, guns a-blazin’ in true Ally fashion, and all I could think was, I can’t lose this girl. I know the risks here, Dad. I do. But I can’t not be with her. I know I am navigating new territory. I’m aware of that. But we have so much history, and I don’t know, Dad, we click, like more so than just friends. And it’s good. Really good.”
He exhales heavily. “Do you love her?”
Man, talk about being kicked in the throat. I feel sweat beading at my temple as I shrug. “I’ve always loved her.”
“No, son. Do you love her?” I know what he means, but I don’t know what to say. I swallow hard, and I guess he takes that as my answer. “Mom says Ally’s always been in love with you.”
And now a kick to the balls. I feel like I’m choking as I hold his gaze. “No one knows that. She hasn’t said that.”
He side-eyes me. “She doesn’t have to say it, Asher. Everyone can just tell. And I think you do too.”
“I wish I could just feel what I feel without people telling me what I feel. Or should feel.”
His eyes fill with concern. “You’re terrified of what that can turn into.”
I blink and look away. “What does that even mean?” I ask, even though I know the answer.
“That she will have the power to break you in two, and you’ve never experienced that.” I swallow hard. Yup, I knew the answer. “I get it, son, I do. You’re a cautious dude, but it’s different with Ally. I know your mom has told you this, and I know you’re probably ignoring her, hoping you’ll be fine. And also, I know this is all new, but people get hurt, even in loving relationships.”
I bite my lip. “I’m trying—”
“I lied to your mom about Audrey dating my best friend at the time.”
I look up, meeting his gaze.
“I almost lost her because of it. Because I thought lying for Audrey was a good idea, when I knew how your mom felt about Audrey’s relationship with the guy. She didn’t want them together, and in a way, I helped hide it from her. It hurt her. If I could lie about that, what else could I lie about?”
I press my lips together. “But you guys are married, kids—”
“Because you don’t give up on the person you love.” I feel like I’m choking on a cheese stick. “I can’t tell you how you feel, Ash. Only you know that, but if you don’t plan on opening your heart to this girl, get out now.”
I look up at him, wide-eyed. “I’ll lose her.”
He shrugs. “You knew that going in. So, you need to decide what you want.”
“I want Ally.”
“But can you give her all of you? She isn’t Jasmine—Ally’ll see right through that. Remember that.”
I bite the inside of my cheek so hard, it bleeds. I knew I would be uncomfortable coming to lunch with my dad, but I never expected to feel guilt. I don’t want to hurt Ally, and I also don’t want to lose her. My dad is right, though, and I know it. This is also what Ally was implying and expecting me not to do. I’m not saying I am; I truly feel something for her. All over and all the way inside. But am I able to hand over my heart to her, knowing the risk, and accepting that she could ultimately break me?
I’m a smart guy, but even I don’t
know the answer to that.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Asher
“You are driving entirely too fast.”
I glance over at Stella, and she’s actually hanging on to the door handle as if I’m going two hundred instead of fifty-two. “I’m going the speed limit.”
She glances over at me, wide-eyed. “No, you’re going too fast.”
Emery giggles from the back. “Says the person who gets honked at all the time for going too slow.”
“Shut up, Em!”
My baby sister snickers as I pull into the mall parking lot. I don’t know what I was thinking when I asked them to go shopping with me. If I had my choice, I’d take Ally to dinner naked, but apparently that’s against the law in all fifty states. Really annoying. Because of this, I brought my sisters to help me pick out something for Ally.
I want tonight to be special. I don’t know if it was talking to my dad or what, but I want her to know I really care for her. Hell, I might even love her if she loved me. But just thinking that has me breaking out in a sweat. It may freak me out, but letting her go, or losing her, freaks me out even more. I need to figure this shit out. I need a little more time.
I pull into a spot and turn off the car. I glance over at Stella, watching her slowly let go of the side of the car like a damn frightened cat with its claws attached to something. “You all right there?”
She isn’t all right. “I don’t like how low this car is or how you drive.”
Emery pops her head in between us. “I thought it was awesome. Can I have this car when you get a new one?”
I give her a look. “I just got this one.”
“Yeah, but you’ll upgrade by the time I’m sixteen. So, I can have it, right?”
I blink. I could argue that it’s only a year and God help anyone on the road with her, but I just nod. “Yup.”
“Cool,” she gushes as she wiggles her shoulders. “So, what are we doing?”
Stella slowly grabs for her purse, and I ask, “I have a question.” They both look at me, and I’m nervous all of a sudden. Maybe I should have brought Aiden? But he isn’t here, so that’s the reason I didn’t call him. Also, he makes huge gestures to make girls feel good, like singing to them and shit. While I’m not about that life, I do want to do something for Ally. “Um, do girls like when you send them songs?”
“Send them songs? Like a mixtape?” Stella asks, her brow cocked.
“You do know it’s not the nineties, right?” Emery asks. “We send nudes on Snapchat.”
I blink as Stella snorts. “If I find out you’ve sent nudes, Emery, I will kill you.”
She grins. “You’ll never know,” she singsongs, and Stella rolls her eyes.
“She’s just messing with you,” she reassures me, and I believe it to be true with the way Emery is now laughing. “To answer your question, though, yeah, girls like it. I had a guy send me a song on Spotify once, and we totally hooked up.”
“Guys don’t talk to me,” Emery says with a shrug. “But if they did, I’d demand all the songs. I love how sometimes words aren’t enough, but when you put them to music, they’re awesome.”
I look between the two of them. What the hell did I get myself into? “I have a lot of thoughts, but I can’t right now.”
They both shrug, like twins. “Okay.”
“I’m having second thoughts.”
Stella has apparently recovered from her near-death experience because she smacks me playfully. “Come on, let us help you. Are you into someone?”
Emery snorts. “Duh.”
“How do you know?” she snarks at Emery, who grins.
“I heard Aiden tell Dad who Asher is sleeping with.”
I gawk at her, and Stella glares. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“I was waiting for you to have something I needed, and I was planning to use the information as leverage.”
The girl is going to take over the world. Confused, I ask, “How did you hear? I heard Aiden called Dad.”
She nods. “He had it on speakerphone when he was outside pulling weeds. I listened.”
Stella holds up her hand, and they high-five like Pinky and the fucking Brain. Problem is, I don’t know which is which. “I feel violated.”
“It’s okay,” Emery says, waving me off. “But I think Ally would love a song—”
Before she can even finish, Stella is screaming, “It’s Ally? This is information I needed!”
My head hurts. I cup my face, inhaling through my hands. Emery laughs loudly. “I know, right? Isn’t it awesome?”
“So awesome! Oh my God, I called it. I knew they couldn’t keep up this charade.”
“Right! According to Aiden, though, they just recently started sleeping together.”
“No way! Surely it’s been longer.”
“Nope. She kissed him after he fought Taco.”
“Yes! That’s my girl. Oh my God, this is amazing. Y’all are, like, perfect together. Power couple. And so much better than Shelli and Aiden.”
“Yes, girl, so much better. I bet their wedding won’t be a circus.”
“Oh no, it’s gonna be all low-key and romantic. Ugh, I can’t wait.”
Meanwhile, as my sisters go back and forth, I’m slowly sliding down in my seat until I’m compacted between the wheel and the floorboard. They must have noticed because their words drop off, and Stella leans toward me. “Um. You okay?”
“Fine.”
“What are you doing?”
“Hiding from you two insane people.”
“But we see you,” Emery says simply. “Looking like a dumbass. You know you’re gonna get stuck. And I’m so telling Ally, ’cause she’ll make fun of you.”
“She sure would,” Stella agrees
She would. I exhale through my nose, and now I see why Ally didn’t want to tell anyone. The fact that my sisters and dad know has me crawling with nerves. I slide back up into the seat, and when I glance over, they look like two puppies waiting for treats.
“So, what songs do you have picked out?” Stella asks, and I groan as I reach for my phone.
“‘Lover,’ Tay—”
“Ew, no. Everyone is dedicating that to people. Be original,” Emery says quickly, and Stella nods.
I swallow hard, and for the next what feels like a lifetime, we go through all the songs I’ve compiled for Ally. It was totally impulsive, but each song reminded me of her. I feel silly, though, sending one to her. Would she think it’s romantic? Is it romantic or overdone?
“Will she even like this?” I finally ask, and both my sisters look at me like I’m crazy.
“She’ll love it. Promise,” Stella says as she leans her chin on my shoulder. Emery has somehow wiggled her way between the window and my other shoulder, both of them in my phone like it’s theirs.
Suddenly, my phone signals a text.
Ally T: Hey, I’ll meet you at the restaurant. Give me the deets.
I bring in my brows as I type her back, despite Pinky and the Brain watching.
Me: I can pick you up.
Ally T: No, I gotta come home tonight. I got so much shit to do in the morning, and I don’t want to wake you up when I leave so early.
Me: I don’t care if you wake me up.
“You sound desperate. Back off,” Emery advises, and Stella nods.
“Jesus Christ,” I groan as my phone sounds again.
Ally T: Don’t worry. I’ll make it up to you.
“I bet she will,” Stella sings, waggling her brows at me.
What in the actual hell am I doing here?
Me: You better.
Stella nods. “Yeah, she’ll like that.”
“Assertive. Makes you sound like you’ve got big balls,” Emery comments, and I stare out the front window as I take a cleansing breath.
I clear my throat. “Okay, my beautiful, smart, and talented sisters. I don’t know what level you two think the three of us are on, but I’m not comfortable with this cavalier m
anner of speaking. I still see you two as babies and in diapers. Don’t talk like that.”
They actually roll their eyes in unison. “You’re the baby.”
“Such a baby,” Stella says dryly.
Ally T: What are you doing?
Me: Shopping with my sisters.
Ally T: ???? That’s nice… LOL Did they hog-tie you?
I snort, and the girls laugh too.
Me: No. I needed help.
Ally T: ??? With?
Me: Something for you.
Ally T: Oh, really?
Me: Yeah. There will be a package at the dorm containing the deets and your present. I look forward to seeing you tonight.
Ally T: I’m a little awestruck, Ash B. Speechless, even.
Me: Good. I like you that way.
Stella quickly taps my shoulder. “Send her the song now. It’s the perfect time.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
“It’s not my words…I don’t know. I feel silly.”
“So, you wasted our time here. I feel that song is bomb.”
“I don’t. I’m second-guessing it. I don’t want her to hear it and question me.”
Emery blinks. “I’m confused. Question what?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, and shit, I’m having second thoughts. “I think the dress will be great, and then I’ll give her a present at dinner.”
“What present?” Stella asks, and I exhale as I reach into the glove box, grabbing a mahogany box. I swallow nervously when they both take in a deep breath. I don’t even have to open the box for Stella to gasp, “That’s Mom’s engagement ring.”
Emery’s eyes are wide. “I thought you gave that to Jasmine? You can’t give that to Ally. That’s so tacky.”
“I didn’t give it to Jasmine,” I say as I open the box to the ring my mom saved for me. With each kid my mom had, my dad bought her a new ring with diamonds representing each of us. Emery’s may have the most diamonds, but I think my ring is better. It’s an open-concept ring, with one emerald-cut diamond and the other cut in a square shape, and it looks nothing like Aiden’s ring. Well, now, it’s Shelli’s, but that’s not the point. It has an opening in the middle that my dad said meant “No matter the distance, we’ll always be together.” “I bought Jasmine a different ring because I just never saw her wearing this one.”