Rescuing Roxy: A GameLit Harem Fantasy Adventure for Men

by Albion, Rex

  “Good. You’re a cute couple, and she’s a sassy little thing. I think you’ll be good together,” Hilda said.

  Vandal blinked, as he realised that Hilda was actually a sophisticated part of a cutting-edge computer game. It felt like he was getting a therapy session, and that pretty much guaranteed that she was a full-blown AI. Plenty of people went to AI therapists these days, and there were some advantages to that depending on your attitude. It made sense that the most important NPCs in New Albion were independent AIs or so well programmed by AIs that a dumb super-monkey like a human, couldn’t tell the difference.

  “Great. That’s encouraging,” he said, carefully, cracking his neck and trying to focus on immersing himself fully in New Albion, and just being Vandal. The sooner he did that, the more he felt he’d get from the game.

  “You need to look after her, you know,” Hilda said, then waved away his response. “I don’t just mean with that big cock of yours, young man, or protecting her from thugs and the like. I mean, you need to care for her needs.”

  “You mean, like that?” he said, jerking a thumb toward the shop.

  “I do. That, for Roxy, is a big part of what she needs. I’m sure she’s enjoying being with you, but if you didn’t feel a bit of a thrill watching that, beyond seeing me play with your girlfriend, if you weren’t wondering what it would be like, you should let her go now,” Hilda advised, “before you break her heart.”

  “Yeah. That’s a lot of pressure,” Vandal sighed.

  “Really? Where did that blood on your scabbard come from?”

  Vandal looked down. Clean boots didn’t extend to his sword. Gross. He’d need to start doing something about that. “Bandits. We killed five on the way into town.”

  “You killed five bandits this morning, no doubt to protect Roxy, and looking after her needs is a lot of pressure?” Hilda said, leaving the obvious follow on unspoken.

  Vandal thought about that for a moment, sipping his almost-coffee. “No, I suppose it didn’t.”

  Hilda nodded, and got up, leaving the room for a moment. “Here you go. It’s not the best work but it’s perfectly safe, not too heavy for your stupidly large human hands,” the dwarf teased, handing him a black leather paddle that was a fair bit smaller than the one she’d used on Roxy.

  “My apprentice made that, and I can’t sell it to a customer so you might as well have it. Take it slow, find someone to explain things to you and enjoy your time together. If you like taking charge of her, and giving her what she needs, wonderful. If not, don’t cling to her until you’re both broken,” Hilda said. “A free item, and some free advice, for what it’s worth. Do you have someone you can get tips from? Other than me?”

  “Actually, yes, we met another one of the Awoken in the Spotted Dick earlier, and she’s a bit like you. She even offered to give us advice.”

  “Oh, honey, she’s hardly like me, but I’m sure she’s nice in her own way,” Hilda teased with a big wink. “There you go then, someone like you that you can talk to. Are you going to invite them to your harem?”

  Vandal almost choked on that thought, and then laughed. “No, sorry. Valkerry is funny and pleasant, but I think she likes to be in charge.”

  Hilda laughed. “Yes, I’ve met her. You’ll be happy to know your assessment is correct but I’m sure she can offer helpful advice to you both as well, as could Tom.”

  “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you know them,” Vandal said.

  “There aren’t many places in a small town like Tinshire to get products like mine. Mind you, the community of people like us is much more of the population than you’d guess,” Hilda said.

  “That doesn’t surprise me, actually,” Vandal shrugged. New Albion was, after all, aimed at people with an interest in adult fare. The Awoken were bound to be a bit more adventurous than average in a game that encouraged things like harems.

  “But I’m sure Roxy will be thrilled if you find someone to match her tastes for your harem,” Hilda said.

  “Probably. I’m not sure how to go about it, Roxy just kind of turned up as I was exploring the woods. She said, it was a sort of destiny.”

  “The goddess Amoria giving you both a little nudge, perhaps? Who knows?”

  “Maybe, it would make sense,” Vandal agreed, because he could hardly explain Roxy’s theory to Hilda.

  “Now, we should probably get back to your young lady, and finish up her fitting. I got a bit distracted but I’m sure I’ve got something that will fit her, or that I can adjust by tomorrow morning.”

  “Fantastic.”

  “Vandal,” Hilda said, stopping him with a light touch on his arm before they went back into the shop.

  “Yes?”

  “Get her up, give her a hug, and look after her while I work. She needs care afterwards, understand?”

  “I understand.”

  “You know what to do when you get her back to where you’re staying?”

  “Make sure she eats and drinks?”

  Hilda laughed. “That too I suppose, but I meant take her to bed and fuck her until you’re both exhausted.”

  “Oh right, that.”

  “There’s a reason she’s so wet, Vandal.”

  “Yeah, you,” he replied, picturing the dwarf utterly controlling his girlfriend and how Roxy had loved every minute.

  “Not me. You,” Hilda said, poking him firmly in the chest. Vandal was about to protest, then he found his mind flashing back to Roxy, staring at him, pretending she’d forgotten the count, looking to him as she put her mouth to Hilda’s nipples. Hilda smirked and shook her head wistfully, “Hopeless.” She ushered him through the door, and he caught sight of Roxy, waiting on her knees.

  When she heard them come in, he saw her back tense then relax. She didn’t move but he could tell she was waiting for him. Vandal swallowed, as he drank in the sight of his sexy goblin woman on her knees, submissively waiting for her barbarian to claim her.

  “Oh.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Roxy was very pleased with the outfit that Hilda had sold them in the end. It hadn’t taken much longer after Hilda and Vandal had had their little chat. The dwarf bustled around, gave Roxy a few items to try on, all of which fitted well enough, and the goblin just had to choose which she preferred. Because it wasn’t custom work and some of it was second-hand, it wasn’t all that expensive either, as far as Vandal could tell at least. Certainly, they weren’t running out of coins.

  Put together it looked great on her, but after the encounter with the cultist earlier, Roxy opted to put her leather dress on for extra protection, rather than wear the new clothes. They promised to return and order some custom leatherwork the moment they could afford it and Roxy slipped her arm through Vandal’s holding to him tightly as they moved on.

  It turned out that they had a few hours before the shopkeepers would close up, so they were easily able to sell the weapons they’d picked up from the bandits for a little extra coin. They visited an armourer who had some mail that would fit Roxy but decided to wait on that until they’d had a chance to get some clothes for Vandal too. Roxy pointed out that they might not get clothes for an enormous barbarian quite so cheaply as Hilda had sold them items for a five-foot-tall goblin.

  Waiting until morning shouldn’t make too much difference either, and Vandal wasn’t upset about the idea of getting back to The Spotted Dick a bit earlier. Roxy was being really touchy feely, and barely took her hands off him while they sold the gear and spoke to the armourer. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, and what Hilda had said, and what Roxy and Hilda had done together. Delaying even further just to buy some better clothes, didn’t seem appealing to him.

  “Are we going to eat, before we go up to the room,” Roxy asked as the inn came into view down the long, winding street. Vandal winced, having had entirely different things on his mind.

  “Whatever you want, beautiful,” Vandal said, trying to sound easy going.

  “I want you, Van
dal,” Roxy growled, getting his hopes up, until she continued. There just had to be a qualifier, didn’t there? “But I get grumpy when I’m too hungry, and there was the other thing, too.”

  “I don’t want you to get grumpy, so let’s eat. We’ve got all night for fun. I can wait.”

  “Really? I want you so bad, I can’t bear it,” Roxy said, rubbing her bottom wistfully.

  “Stop that!” he hissed, suddenly aware that she was touching herself somewhere indelicate in public.

  Roxy giggled. “I’m sorry, sir. Hilda made me all glowy.”

  “Glowy? Is that even a word?” Vandal said, sceptically. He wasn’t quite sure with Roxy being English and all, if she was teasing him or making up silly words.

  “Uh-huh, it means that my bottom is glowing like a lightbulb,” Roxy giggled.

  “I’m not sure if you’re fibbing or not,” Vandal growled.

  “Me? I would never lie to you, sir. Never, I say!” Roxy protested, a touch too enthusiastically.

  “And if you did?”

  “Well,” Roxy said, slowly and Vandal guessed what was coming. “I suppose you’ll just have to put that paddle Hilda gave you to the test, if I am. She made me all glowy with hers, perhaps you could too.”

  “I’m not surprised she did, with you making her go back to the start several times, you greedy thing,” Vandal replied.

  “I don’t know what you mean, I just lost track of the count,” Roxy said, all sweetness and light.

  “Of course, you did, darling. Of course, you did,” Vandal said, patting her on the head. “That would never happen with me, of course.”

  “Why not?” Roxy asked curiously.

  In response Vandal flexed his massive arm, showing off the thick veins in his forearm and the bulk of his upper arm, which wasn’t far off being as big as her thigh. Roxy licked her lips.

  “I promise I’ll concentrate harder.”

  “You should. Don’t think I’ll go easy on you,” Vandal boasted, although he knew he absolutely would do that. This whole thing was going to take some getting used to and he was going to take it slowly as they had fun together. There was no need to rush anything. He pulled open the door and ushered her inside. “After you, my lady.”

  “Why thank you, kind sir,” Roxy said, doing a terrible imitation of Leona’s curtsy. Vandal laughed. “That’s mean, I haven’t practiced yet.”

  “I can tell!” Vandal guffawed. Then he stopped as they crossed the threshold of the inn. “Hey, what was the other thing?” he asked Roxy’s back.

  “Vandal! Roxy!” came a boisterous shout from the rear of the pub and light dawned.

  “Right. That, other thing,” Vandal grumbled. “How could I forget?”

  “Stop it,” Roxy hissed as they approached the table where Valkerry and Tom waited for them. “They’re lovely, so play nice. It’s good to make friends.”

  “Somehow, I’m not entirely convinced it’s their friendship that is driving you,” Vandal whispered.

  “There’s nothing wrong with having an ulterior motive for being nice to you,” Roxy stated with absolute confidence.

  Vandal scratched his head at that one. Wait, what? No, that couldn’t be right, could it, he thought. He gave up when Tom shoved a tankard of mead across the table to him as they sat down then. It wasn’t like he had a dictionary in his bag.

  Valkerry was eyeing Roxy suspiciously. “You look all glowy, Roxy,” she said.

  Roxy rounded on Vandal to gloat, “See, I told you glowy was a real world. He didn’t believe me, Valkerry, can you believe the nerve of him?”

  “No! What a cad. Everyone I know uses glowy all the time,” Valkerry claimed. Tom shook his head vigorously, mouthing something unclear but probably both vulgar and in direct contradiction of his girlfriend. Valkerry caught Vandal’s smirk and the direction of his gaze and turned, just in time to see Tom nodding enthusiastically in support of her claim. Her eyes narrowed and she turned back to Roxy. Tom shook his head once more, and Vandal practically blew his mead across the table.

  “Sorry,” he coughed. “Some went down the wrong way. I’m fine. I’m fine.” Tom, having seemingly got away with his lack of support for his loving girlfriend, was in quiet hysterics trying not to spill his own drink while simultaneously holding it to his lips to mask his grin.

  “Did you two have a spanking good afternoon?” Valkerry asked innocently. Vandal could have sworn he saw her eyes flick down toward Roxy’s shuffling and fidgeting hips, and a smile tug at the corner of her mouth. Did she know? Impossible. How could she? Unless of course, she had some kind of ability, he thought but dismissed that. What would it be, a Spot Spanking spell?

  “Not exactly,” Roxy said, drawing it out slowly.

  “This should be good, what does ‘not exactly’ mean?” Valkerry asked, propping an elbow on the table and resting her chin on the heel of her hand.

  “Does a paddling count?” Roxy giggled and Vandal rolled his eyes. Valkerry wasn’t going to need spells to read Roxy like a book, she could just ask her if she’d done anything naughty today and the goblin would immediately confess, apparently.

  “Absolutely, if it was nice and firm. Was it muscles here?” Valkerry asked, pointing at Vandal.

  “No, but I think he enjoyed watching.”

  “Did he now? Got some hidden depths have you, Vandal?”

  “Probably not all that hidden,” Vandal shrugged.

  “Believe me, Vandal goes a lot deeper than you’d think to look at him,” Roxy snickered. Valkerry let out a filthy laugh at that and made a vulgar gesture in agreement.

  “Tom, help me out here,” Vandal said.

  Tom shrugged. “There’s just no way they’re going to leave it alone, man. You can either hear them talk it over now, or they’ll do it behind our back later.” Vandal rolled his eyes. Some help the timid warlock was. He was fine with a joke, but he wasn’t going to challenge his girlfriend. Vandal was sure she had Tom well under control, in more ways than one, and Tom was quite happy with it, judging by what they’d heard through the wall earlier.

  “He’s not wrong, Vandal. Who was paddling Roxy then? Are you going to tell me, or shall I extract the details from her under threat of terrible torture?”

  “Oh,” Roxy said, with sudden interest. Vandal snorted. If Roxy had had cat ears, he was convinced they’d have perked up at that remark. Then she confirmed it. “Is there going to be torture? What kind?”

  “The most terrible, devious, wicked, unbearable torment I can devise!” Valkerry said.

  “Don’t worry, I’ve told her she can’t use poetry on me again, it’s a hard limit,” Tom said. Vandal wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but Roxy laughed her socks off, so she clearly did.

  “I have ways of making you talk!” Valkerry claimed, waggling her eyebrows at Roxy as if that were one of her terrifying methods of interrogation.

  “Promises, promises,” Roxy said, as she took a big gulp of her beer.

  “Why does no-one ever believe me about the torture?” Valkerry whined, throwing her hands up in despair.

  “Because my fierce warrior woman, everyone who knows you, soon realises you haven’t a vicious bone in your body because you are my wonderful snuggly bunnykins,” Tom said.

  “I can be a snuggly bunnykins, and rule with an iron fist too,” Valkerry pouted.

  “Yes, dear. Whatever you say,” Tom said.

  Valkerry smirked. “You better believe it. Whatever I say, right, Vandal?” She gave him a big wink.

  “I’m sure Tom knows which side his bread is buttered,” Vandal agreed.

  Valkerry laughed really hard at that, and Tom, for some reason blushed profusely, mumbling something and drinking deeply from his tankard of frothy ale. Vandal almost asked what was so funny, then realised he could be opening up a whole can of worms if he did, so instead took a moment to reach out and stroke the back of Roxy’s hair. The gorgeous goblin tilted her head and smiled at him happily.

  “Oh. My. Word,” Valk
erry said, slowly. “They’re in love! They’re in love, Tom. They are so in love!”

  Roxy looked startled and shook her head, “Valkerry, please!”

  “I don’t know about Roxy, but I think I might be,” Vandal said. Roxy looked up at him, and he didn’t regret it one bit.

  “Aww, it’s so cute,” Valkerry giggled.

  “Now, now, darling, don’t tease me so,” Tom admonished her bravely.

  Vandal barely heard them; he was too busy pulling Roxy in for a kiss. She melted against him and Valkerry practically narrated the whole thing, but he didn’t care. The look of adoration from Roxy was all he needed.

  Food arrived as if by magic shortly afterward. Or perhaps their kiss had lasted an hour, and Tom and Valkerry had ordered for them while they were engrossed in each other. He didn’t care, Roxy had whispered that she thought she was in love with him too, and very little else mattered.

  The food was a lot of fries, or chips as Roxy claimed they were at great length, and steak and ale pie, all of which tasted rather good. “Have you tried the spotted dick?” Valkerry asked.

  “We had some at The Red Lion earlier,” Vandal said. “It was good, actually but I don’t think I want to have it here as well.”

  “What about you, Roxy? Do you want another big helping of dick?” Valkerry cackled, slapping the table as if it were an instant classic, and calling the serving wench over.

  “Not right now, but I’m going to have some later, for sure,” Roxy said. “Are you?”

  “Definitely. Hey, gorgeous,” Valkerry said, switching her attention to the serving wench, “Roxy and I would love some dick but not right now. What else is good?”

  The wench sighed as if she’d heard that at least four times today already, “If you’ve both had enough Spotted Dick for one day, you could try a Double Stuffed Cream Pie.”

  “Oh, that sounds saucy, let's have that,” Valkerry said. “Four of those, please! If the boys don’t like it, I’ll eat theirs.” The wench nodded, smiled and replied, “Certainly madam, I’ll bring you some extra sauce too.” Then she turned on her heel to leave.