‘Of course! Just try and stop me,’ he replied, and meant it as he could see Leonie going into her shell at the last moment and all their arrangements falling apart.
* * *
As they pulled up at the yurt she made the decision to invite Callum in for a coffee. He must be exhausted after his eventful evening.
He accepted delightedly but said, ‘I won’t be able to relax until I’ve phoned in to the hospital to get an update on my patient.’
‘Of course,’ agreed Leonie. ‘You go ahead while I make the drinks.
He made the phone call. His young patient was stable, which was all he could expect after so short a time, but he would be back there in the morning to check on him before getting involved in any of his weekend pursuits, and as they sat opposite each other, drinking the coffee that Leonie had made, it was as far as he wanted to think about day-to-day matters.
His mind was full of her, the woman in the pale green dress that clung to her curves like a second skin and flared around her ankles at the hemline. He had already made one attempt at marriage and failed, and now, having found the right woman, he couldn’t get through to her, so where did they go from here?
At that moment Leonie rose to refill the coffee cups and tripped over the hem of her dress. As she staggered forward off balance he caught her in his arms and for a brief second she stayed there, looking up at him. He bent and kissed her, gently at first and then a torrent of desire took hold of them.
He began to make love to her, rejoicing at the way that she was responding, until he felt her tense beneath him and then she was pushing him away, desperate to escape his hold, and he knew that nothing had changed.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said grimly. ‘I made the mistake of thinking that we were both in tune with our feelings for once, but it appears not. I would never hurt you, Leonie, in any way whatsoever, but it would seem that now I’ve got my answer to where we are going together, and it’s nowhere.’
Tell him what hurts all the time, a voice in her mind was saying. You owe it to Callum to be honest with him. It might come over as a somewhat seedy tale of woe, but it’s understanding that you need, not sympathy.
Yet she knew she couldn’t do it, couldn’t lay bare her innermost feelings when she loved him so much.
‘I know you must think I don’t know my own mind,’ she said wretchedly, ‘but you’re wrong. I know it only too well. The problem is that as soon as I’m near you everything changes and I forget the promises I’ve made to myself. I can only think logically when we are apart.’
‘Yes, so it would seem,’ he agreed dryly, ‘and how do you visualise doing that when we are in the same unit at the hospital and live such a short distance away from each other?’
‘Moving away perhaps?’
‘You would do that to get away from me? Am I so dangerous to be near?’
‘Of course not,’ she said wearily. ‘I’m insane to even think of it, but you don’t know the circumstances.’
‘And why is that, do you think? It’s because you clam up every time we’re on our own when I want us to get to know each other better.’
‘Yes, I know I do,’ she admitted, ‘and I also know that every time you come here, except for the one occasion, you leave angry and frustrated, so maybe we should restrict our time together to our hospital commitments.’
‘Whatever you say,’ he agreed flatly, ‘and that being so, I’ll see you on Monday morning,’
Leonie felt empty as Callum left, but really what other option did she have?
CHAPTER SIX
JULIE RANG ON Saturday morning to remind her that they were going to the community centre that afternoon to plan out the wedding reception. Talk of the wedding immediately reminded Leonie of Callum. Did their ‘plus one’ arrangements still stand?
As far as she was concerned, she was committed to be with Callum on both wedding days, she thought as she and Julie discussed the second wedding, which was to be a humbler affair than the first one. But there would be no lack of true love between her friend and Brendan, whereas Candace and Julian Tindall’s nuptials would be a lavish affair if she guessed right, but without much else, as the speed with which they were tying the knot was surprising everyone who knew them.
It was ironic that Callum would be one of the central figures on that occasion, while she would be merely an onlooker, and that it would be the opposite on Julie’s wedding day when it would be her playing a major part in the proceedings and Callum merely the guest of the bridesmaid until the evening when he would come into his own as the ‘Disco Doc’.
If she had any sense she would skip the first wedding and be there for Julie at the second, but leave the reception in the early evening to avoid any more of the futile discussions that always came when she and Callum were together out of working hours. All of which would be simple enough if she didn’t long to be with him all the time.
* * *
It was a warm May Saturday and the throng of visitors and residents of Heatherdale were out to enjoy time spent amongst the small market town’s gracious historic buildings and flower-filled parks, with a visit included to the pump room and the nearby well that for centuries had supplied the famous spa water that many had turned to, and still did, for health reasons.
A limousine with an open top and decked with white ribbons was easing its way along the busy main street to where the parish church was to be found, and folks were stopping to stare at the wedding couple who were clearly on view, which was like manna to the soul of the bride and bridegroom, who liked to play to the crowd whenever possible.
Leonie had chosen to sit at the back of the church to get a clear view of Callum’s entrance with Candace, and when the two of them appeared her heart was filled with thankfulness that he was not the bridegroom.
* * *
She had been the first person he’d looked for as he’d stood in the doorway of the church with the bride as they’d waited for the organ to boom forth the appropriate music, and he’d felt gloom descend upon him at the thought of how far away the two of them were from anything like this.
The whole thing was a lavish affair and when the newlyweds had left to catch their flight to the States Callum said, ‘All of that was claustrophobic. I need some air, Leonie, what about you? Do you fancy a walk in one of the parks?’ He glanced at the hat she was wearing. ‘We aren’t exactly dressed for the moors.’
She knew the answer to the suggestion ought to be ‘no’ so why was she saying ‘yes’? she wondered crazily as he smiled across at her. They left the splendour of the hotel where the wedding had taken place together, the man with hair dark and crisply waving and hazel eyes that Leonie wished could see into her mind and understand without her having to do the telling of why she was so wary of love.
But the sun was shining, they were together for a short time and she should try and enjoy it.
‘So what did you think of the wedding of the year, Leonie?’ he asked.
‘I thought that it hasn’t yet arrived,’ she said, smiling across at him. ‘There is Julie and Brendan’s to look forward to where the Disco Doc will be entertaining people.’
‘And a beautiful bridesmaid will be following the bride up the aisle.’
‘Er, yes, I hope so,’ she said stiltedly. ‘I will certainly want to look my best for her.’
They were walking beside the river that ran through a nearby park, the same stretch of water that separated their two homes.
‘Dare I ask a question?’
‘It depends what it is.’
‘Do you have any relatives?’
‘No.’
‘No parents?’
‘No. My father was a pilot and owned a light aircraft. He took my mother on a flight in what on the face of it was perfect weather, but a horrendous storm blew up from nowhere. He crashed and they were both killed.’
‘That is awful!’ he exclaimed, resisting the urge to hold her close for comfort. ‘And what about brothers and sisters?’
> ‘No.’
‘Aunts and uncles?’
‘No. My parents were only children and so am I. Tell me about your parents, Callum.’
‘My mother is very much alive and well. She lives in Canada, with my father. Well, more accurately he is my stepfather. His name is Brent McAllister and he’s a great guy. My actual father is long gone.’
She wasn’t sure what he meant by that but didn’t ask. It was enough to know that Callum had a loving family in Canada.
It was late afternoon and when they left the park he asked, ‘What would you like to do now?’
‘I don’t know, I haven’t given it any consideration,’ she told him, taken aback by the question because she hadn’t thought any further than the wedding with regard to what the day would hold for the two of them. But it was clear that Callum had other ideas, wasn’t expecting them to separate once it was over, and she didn’t know how she felt about that.
Over the past few days she’d been congratulating herself on managing to be near him only at the hospital, but the temptation was there and as he waited for a reply she gave in to it and said, ‘How about showing me your apartment? When I gaze at it from across the river it always looks so fantastic.’
‘I thought you loved the simplicity of the yurt?’ he said laughingly. ‘And how do you know I won’t come on to you once I get you inside?’
‘I know because you are special and would never upset me intentionally,’ she said softly, and he groaned.
He could hear himself saying the last time they’d been alone and about to make love to each other that he would never ever want to hurt her and it had been the absolute truth. He would never betray her trust.
‘Yes, all right, then,’ he agreed, ‘and then maybe a leisurely meal that I will cook for us?’
‘That would be nice!’
‘You haven’t tasted my cooking.’
‘If it is as excellent as everything else you do, it will be fantastic.’
‘Praise indeed!’
‘You know that it is so.’
‘Not in all things. What about us?’
‘Can’t we forget that for tonight, Callum, and just be friends?’
He sighed. ‘Yes, if you say so,’ and looking around him, ‘Are we going to walk to the apartment or shall I flag down a taxi?’
‘Let’s walk, slowly and leisurely,’ she said, as he took her hand in his.
‘And pretend?’
‘Yes, if we have to,’ was the reply.
As he showed her around the expensively furnished and immaculate apartment Leonie saw that there was a huge difference in their lifestyles, and wondered how Callum could possibly like the yurt.
There was a big difference between their two homes in more ways than one. They were totally opposite in every way. Yoris the yurt was basic but with a feeling of being lived in, while Callum’s apartment was the exact opposite, filled with elegant emptiness.
‘So what’s the verdict?’
‘It is sumptuous,’ she replied carefully. ‘But it doesn’t feel lived in.’
‘That’s because it isn’t. I merely sleep here and have breakfast. The rest of the time I’m elsewhere, mainly at the hospital, and at weekends out in the countryside amongst the hills and dales, unless I’m due in Theatre, as we are both aware that accidents and illness don’t just confine themselves to weekdays.’
He was so wonderful, she thought emotionally. It was that which made her draw back into her shell every time Callum wanted their relationship to move on. If only she could see a future for them she would grasp it with both hands, but she was still too shell shocked from past hurts and Callum deserved someone who was ready and willing to be what he wanted her to be.
She wasn’t aware that every time he watched her with other people’s children on the wards he was amazed to think that he ever contemplated a life without the joys of family life. He wanted her in his life totally, in every part of it.
‘What would you like to eat?’ he asked, bringing her out of the gloom of her thoughts. ‘In spite of my frequent absences from this place I have a well-stocked fridge and freezer. One of my specialities is roast lamb with fresh vegetables, followed by fruit with clotted cream, and if you are about to say that it would take too long for the meat to defrost, I took it out this morning on the off chance,’ he said laughingly, ‘though I never expected you’d want to come here in my wildest dreams after the way we left things last time.’
‘It was just curiosity,’ she made haste to tell him.
‘Yes, of course,’ he replied smoothly, and thought that to keep telling himself that there was no future for them because of her reticence was pointless. He knew deep down that he would wait for as long as it took for Leonie to let him into the part of her life that she kept under wraps, even if he grew old in the process.
She wanted to help with the meal but he insisted that it was his turn to entertain her, and as it was a mild night suggested that she make herself comfortable on the balcony of the apartment overlooking the river until the food was cooked.
At peace with herself for a short time, Leonie sat gazing across the water to where the yurt stood pinkly on the other side.
The meal was perfection, as she’d known it would be, and it was when they were having coffee on the balcony at the end of it that her bubble of happiness burst when Callum asked, ‘Have Melissa or Ryan been in touch?’
‘Not for a week or so,’ she replied. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘They will be doing soon,’ he informed her, ‘They want us to be godparents to the baby when it arrives.’
‘I’m not into that kind of thing,’ she told him stiffly.
‘What kind of thing? It’s just a christening we’re talking about.’
‘Yes, I know but...’
She was out of her depth and uncomfortable, aware that she wouldn’t be able to look down at their baby without remembering the stillness of her own.
‘If that is the case then you will have to refuse when they ask you, but I will most certainly accept,’ he said, observing her thoughtfully, and went on to say, ‘You don’t have any problems with the infants on the unit—in fact, you are fantastic with them.’
‘That is different, it’s part of my job,’ she told him.
‘Yes. OK,’ he told her soothingly, ‘but, Leonie, be prepared for Melissa and Ryan to be disappointed.’
‘They could ask Mollie, their housekeeper. She loves Rhianna and Martha and will be the same with their little brother.’
‘No doubt she will,’ he agreed, ‘but they will want someone younger than she is.’
Leonie got to her feet and reached for the jacket that she’d taken off on arriving at the apartment. Callum wished that he’d never mentioned the christening. Her aversion to the idea didn’t fit in with the way she’d looked after Rhianna and Martha at the time of the accident. But they hadn’t been newborns.
‘Thanks for the meal, Callum, I really enjoyed it,’ she said.
He nodded briefly and picked up the car keys as the magic of their time together withered and died, as it always did.
When they arrived at the yurt he didn’t get out of the car, just waited until she was safely inside and then drove off.
* * *
As dusk turned into darkness Leonie sat hunched in a chair thinking miserably that she needn’t have made such a fuss about Callum’s casual remark. Melissa and Ryan’s baby wasn’t born yet. He might be mistaken and they were going to ask someone else to be godmother, and if they did ask her she hoped she would be able to refuse with less paranoia than she’d just displayed.
It would have been so lovely for Callum and her to be the baby’s godparents, but the past still had her in its grip and what Callum must have thought of her reaction she shuddered to think.
* * *
When he arrived back at the apartment he stayed seated behind the steering-wheel, deep in thought. He’d had no right to question Leonie’s comments about the christening. It was h
er life, her wishes that she’d been explaining, and if they sounded wrong to him so be it.
One thing was sure, she would have her reasons, and if Leonie didn’t want to bring them out into the open that was her choice. He was tempted to go back and tell her that, but as he looked across the river the lights went out in the yurt and he thought that she must be feeling that she’d seen enough of him for one day.
* * *
The week that followed was a hectic one, for which Leonie was grateful as it didn’t leave much time to think, either on the unit or off it. Quite a few new patients had been admitted with orthopaedic problems that filled the hours of daytime and away from the hospital there was the last-minute bustle of the preparations for the second wedding, Julie and Brendan’s, on the coming Saturday.
On Monday morning Callum said briefly, ‘What about the disco? I need to know what time it will start so that I can go home to change out of my suit into something less dressy, and also I need to know what sort of music your friends will want me to play for them. Do you know what the average age of the guests is going to be?’
‘No, I don’t, but can find out,’ she replied. ‘We’re going to the community centre tonight to arrange the tables for the reception, so if you’re free it might be a good time to sort out the disco.’
‘What time?’
‘Half past seven.’
‘Do you want a lift?’
‘Er, no, I’ll go on my bicycle, but thanks for the offer.’
‘Sure, any time,’ he said levelly, aware that her reaction when he’d mentioned the christening had to be connected with her not wanting to talk about the past, but she surprised him by what she had to say next.
‘I would still like you to show me all the parts of Heatherdale that I’ve never seen,’ she told him. ‘I’ve regretted having missed the experience that other time.’
‘Really? Well, the offer is still open,’ he told her, concealing his surprise. ‘Maybe some time after Saturday’s wedding perhaps?’
* * *
As the two men arranged the disco that evening Leonie and Julie chatted as they prepared the room for Saturday’s event.
Heatherdale's Shy Nurse (Mills & Boon Medical) Page 9