‘How are things between the two of you?’ Julie asked.
‘Not good,’ was the reply, ‘and it’s my fault, Julie. Every time we’re getting close I spoil it with my hang-ups about past nightmares.’
‘So next time tell Callum about what happened,’ she advised. ‘Once it is out in the open you will know where you stand with him.’
At that moment the two men came to join them and observing Leonie’s expression Callum guessed that they had been discussing him and would have liked to know along what lines, but there was no way he was going to ask.
For the next couple of hours the four of them concentrated on the wedding preparations and once that was done made their separate ways home. Leonie’s bridesmaid’s dress was in a large cardboard box on the back seat of Callum’s car, as it was too bulky for her to carry while on the bike and he’d offered to drop if off at the yurt.
He arrived before her, needless to say, and rather than risk leaving the dress for her to find he waited until he saw her pedalling over the bridge and when she stopped and propped the bike against the doorpost he passed it to her.
He amazed her by asking out of the blue, ‘Have you ever been married?’
He knew it was a strange moment to be asking such a question but having spent the evening helping to get ready for someone else’s wedding it was to be expected that marriage was on his mind, and it had occurred to him that Leonie’s reluctance to talk about her past could be because of something of that nature, and if it was there was no cause to be embarrassed about it because he certainly wasn’t with regard to his break-up with Shelley.
‘No,’ she replied. ‘I’ve never been married or even had a stable relationship,’ and could have gone on to say, an unstable one, oh, yes, but she was tired and miserable, didn’t want to have to endure his endless curiosity.
Remembering Julie’s advice to tell him about Adrian Crawley and the baby and to be done with the secrecy, she had a sudden longing to pour out her hurt and loneliness of that time and turn to Callum for comfort.
He was observing her expression and said gently, ‘You’re tired, aren’t you? Go and get some rest Leonie. You have a busy weekend ahead.’ He glanced at the box she was holding. ‘One last question—what colour is the dress?’
‘Cream silk. Julie’s is traditional white, and the young bridesmaid will be in pink.’
‘Sounds great, so why not book a couple of days’ leave to relax before the big day?
‘It is Julie’s “big day”, not mine,’ she reminded him, with no sign of hers ever materialising, ‘and with regard to taking time off I feel that we’re too busy on the wards at the moment.’
It was true, but it was also that she wanted to be near him, and the hospital was the only place where they could guarantee being together without the sexual chemistry that came and went so fleetingly that it never got off the ground.
‘OK,’ he said. ‘It isn’t my wish that you be missing from the unit, it was just a thought, and if that is the case I’ll see you tomorrow, so bye for now, Sister Mitchell.’
‘Goodnight, Dr Warrender,’ she said, smiling across at him, and in that second he took the box with the dress in it from her. She looked at him questioningly as he laid it on the bonnet of the car. He put his arms around her and held her close and covered her face with kisses for the briefest of moments before pushing her away from him gently.
It was then that he saw a single tear rolling down her cheek. Taking a clean handkerchief from his pocket, he wiped her face gently and when she dredged up a smile told her teasingly, ‘It doesn’t say much for my kisses if they make you cry. Perhaps it’s because I’m out of practice.’
‘I wouldn’t say that,’ she told him, smiling now, and lifting the box with her dress inside off the car bonnet waited to see what he would do next, but much as he didn’t want to go he’d seen the tear and until he knew why he kept making her cry he wasn’t going to take their attraction any further, so he left Leonie to her thoughts and tried to sort his out as he drove home, but without much success.
* * *
Saturday arrived beneath grey skies in the morning but with the promise of a sunny afternoon for the wedding, and as Leonie helped Julie to get dressed at her flat the only thought in her mind was that everything must be perfect for her friend on her special day.
Unlike the extravagant wedding of the week before, it was on a budget, but there was no shortage of good humour and affection amongst those present when the bride appeared, with her hand resting in the crook of her father’s arm and with Leonie and her young sister holding her train.
But one man had eyes only for the chief bridesmaid, who was looking pale but composed in a long cream silk dress, and he groaned inwardly. Would they ever hear wedding bells ringing out for them? He’d thought once that he heard them in the distance, chiming out joyfully on their behalf, but it had just been wishful thinking, his imagination in overdrive.
* * *
The disco had been a huge success, with lots of folk wanting to hire him for their functions, but Callum had refused their requests with restrained amusement, explaining that he had another job that was much more important but that if he ever got the sack he would be in touch.
‘You are crazy,’ Leonie told him laughingly as they waved Julie and Brendan off on their honeymoon, but he didn’t respond. She was content that she’d managed to keep her yearnings for the kind of happiness that Julie had out of sight until the wedding was over, and was still on a high from the pleasure of knowing that her friend and Brendan had got it right.
But when she saw Callum’s expression there was none of the rapport that had been there after wedding number one, when they’d sauntered through the park and she’d asked to see his apartment.
Like all their happy moments there was always the breakdown in communications at some time while they were together that spoilt everything, and now she guessed that he was thinking that where weddings were concerned it was now two down and no signs of the one that mattered most, and as if to confirm that he said, ‘I’m ready to go home, Leonie, now the day has run its course. Do you want a lift?’
She wanted more than a lift, she thought bleakly, a lot more. Wanted him to hold her close while she told him what he wanted to know, but it wasn’t the right time, not after Julie’s lovely wedding. It would wipe out the joy of it.
So she told him, ‘I can’t leave yet. I need to stay to help tidy up the centre ready for morning, so I’ll get a taxi, Callum.’
He was frowning. ‘What about your dress?’ You shouldn’t have to be cleaning in it. Surely you would be better going home to change and then coming back on the bike if you feel the need?’
‘The need I feel is to stay here until everything is tidy and then go home,’ she told him, suddenly feeling weepy and weary because he was being so distant.
‘All right,’ he agreed. ‘Do whatever you think is best. I’ll see you on Monday morning, but only briefly. I’m away for the rest of next week. I’m booked to attend a seminar.’
‘Who will be filling in for you?’ she asked, feeling even more dejected than she was already at the thought of him being absent for almost a week.
‘A semi-retired doctor who knows his stuff, so I’m not leaving you all in the lurch. And while on the subject of my being away from the unit, my mother and Brent are coming over soon, so I’ll be taking some leave then too.’
‘Yes, of course,’ she said immediately, wondering what could have happened to the closeness that always came bouncing back after any misunderstanding, but this wasn’t like that. She’d enjoyed the day, had no fault to find with it, and thought that Callum had felt the same, but in the last hour he had become a stranger.
Yet she might not feel too content as the night drew in and she was alone with her thoughts of what could be theirs for the asking if she could put the past where it belonged.
She envied him the visit of his family more than words could say and hoped that he would introduce
her to his mother when she came, but there was no mention of it and she questioned how her fall from grace could be so sudden.
* * *
He couldn’t believe he was being so distant, Callum thought as he drove home in sombre mood. He’d been gripped by envy as he’d seen the happiness of today’s bridal pair and there’d been frustration too because neither he nor Leonie were committed to anyone else as far as he knew.
But she continued to distance herself from him and he’d been hoping that by the time his mother came to visit they would have had a wedding planned and she would be there, the one who knew more about pure unselfish love than anyone he had ever met.
But the way things were going, the last of the three weddings was still shrouded in a mist of uncertainty.
CHAPTER SEVEN
MONDAY WAS A drab day, with everything on the wards functioning with normal efficiency but with few sightings of Callum, who was making sure that his replacement for the rest of the week was clued up with what was going on in Orthopaedics.
There was no doing the ward rounds together until late afternoon and then it was the temporary consultant who was by her side as she moved from bed to bed, and it was only as she was leaving the hospital at the end of the day that they came face to face in the car park as Callum was going to his car and Leonie was about to mount her bike.
‘Take care,’ he said briefly.
‘You too,’ she replied, and before he’d even got the car door open she was cycling through the gates and pointing herself and the bike in a different direction from the one he would take. It might be a slightly longer journey but it would let Callum see that she had her pride and wasn’t going to beg for his attention.
* * *
There was no sign of his return from Manchester, where the seminar was being held, until late on Friday when Leonie saw that the lights were on in his apartment and felt slightly less miserable knowing that he was back where he belonged, whether she saw him over the weekend or not.
But she couldn’t help wondering how long he would continue to feel that Heatherdale was where he wanted to be if she was around with her alternately hot and cold, up and down, sad and happy behaviour. She’d thought it before and thought it now—Callum deserved better than that from her and she wasn’t able to give it.
* * *
When he’d stopped the car in front of the apartment his thoughts had been running on similar lines and he’d looked across the river to see if the yurt was lit up in the warm dusk, and on seeing that it was he’d smiled.
He wasn’t going to take advantage of the fact, but the knowledge that Leonie was near in her little cupcake home, instead of the miles between Heatherdale and Manchester separating them, was better than nothing.
If their relationship hadn’t taken a big step backwards he would have been over there immediately, but as far as she was concerned she wasn’t expecting him and the hurt of it made her want to weep. Julie had advised that she stop fretting and tell Callum about Crawley and the baby, but she knew that the words would stick in her throat.
If Callum had been someone like Julian, whose morals were shaky to say the least, it wouldn’t be so difficult to do that, but the problem would not arise with anyone like Julian because she would never be attracted to someone with his kind of shifting values ever again. Julian and Adrian Crawley were two of a kind.
* * *
A knock on the door announced that the honeymooners were back and as she made coffee and they chatted about the wedding Leonie wished that such a happy event hadn’t been the cause of the big break-up between Callum and herself.
When Julie asked again how things were between them, not wanting her friend’s bubble of happiness to burst, she said, ‘We seem to have got it sorted,’ and thought that it was true in part but from a different angle. It was over, done and dusted, that kind of sorted.
* * *
Leonie went into the town centre the next morning to look around the shops for lack of anything better to do on a Saturday and unbelievably came face to face with Callum on the main shopping street.
It was the kind of meeting from which there was no escape, no side turnings to escape down or supermarkets to get lost in, and she thought miserably that it was incredible that she should even want to do that. Only a short time ago she would have greeted him joyfully and now she was anxious to be gone from him, away from his cool appraisal as she came to a halt opposite him.
‘How did the seminar go?’
He shrugged. ‘It was all right. Gave me a chance to see the sights of Manchester, I suppose. Any problems on the unit?’ he questioned in return.
‘No. Everything was fine.’ And with no wish to extend the agony, she was about to go on her way.
‘Where are you off to?’ he wanted to know.
‘Nowhere in particular, I’ll probably stop for a coffee somewhere and then make tracks.’
‘Yes, me too when I’ve done some shopping,’ he agreed. Pointing to the very thing only a few feet away, he said, ‘Why don’t we try this place for elevenses?’
Not agreeing or refusing, she commented, ‘I would have thought you would be up on the moors today?’
‘Hmm, I thought about it, but I’m in town to get some things for when my visitors come, such as extra bedding and suchlike. I told you that my mother and stepfather are coming over, didn’t I?’
‘Yes, you did.’
She was hardly going to forget that as it had been part of his speech when he’d demolished their relationship after they’d waved Julie and Brendan off on their honeymoon, and there was still no mention of introducing her to his relatives when they came, but as their romance was over why should he?
‘So are we going to go for a coffee in this place?’ he was asking.
‘What is the point when we’ve nothing to say to each other?’ she said wearily, and not giving him the chance to reply went on her way.
Callum watched her depart and thought he couldn’t blame Leonie for feeling like that after the way he’d behaved after Julie and Brendan’s wedding. He’d had a sudden moment of utter frustration that he’d passed on to her and hadn’t been much easier to get on with since.
Yet in total contrast he’d bought a ring while in Manchester, a beautiful emerald the colour of her eyes in a fine silver setting that he was longing to put on her finger when they’d sorted their differences, but when was that likely to be, if ever?
So where did they go from here?
* * *
In a coffee shop on the other side of the town Leonie was absently stirring a cup of coffee that had gone cold and wishing she’d been less abrupt when they’d met after the brief separation that had seemed like a lifetime.
She was thinking how wonderful it would have been if she’d met Callum before Adrian. His love would be strong and true, a magical thing that wouldn’t falter or betray her. The thought of having him there to hold her in the night, passionate and tender, and in the daytime strong and protective, like a rock in a stormy sea, was making her feel limp with longing.
He wouldn’t have taken advantage of her grief and loneliness, but it was done. Adrian Crawley had been there first.
From the way he’d described his mother, Callum’s childhood seemed to have been idyllic, with her filling the role perfectly in every way, so his failed marriage must have been hard for her to accept and she was going to be wary of anyone hovering on the sidelines.
If her little Benedict had lived she would have been just as protective of him with regard to his happiness in all parts of his life, which made it seem all the more important to keep her past to herself, yet how to make her peace with Callum?
* * *
As he unloaded the morning’s shopping out of the boot of his car Callum remembered Leonie’s comment on him not being out in the countryside on such a day, and as it was still some time before midday he decided to change into more suitable clothes and not let the afternoon go to waste. The peace to be found amongst the hills and dale
s was a precious thing in times of stress or indecision and he was undecided all right!
Common sense said to be patient, give Leonie some space, and maybe soon she would trust him enough to confide in him. But what if she didn’t? the voice of reason kept asking. Was he prepared to accept that? He knew that he wasn’t.
* * *
When he left the apartment with a packed lunch and water to drink in his rucksack, Callum found himself automatically walking towards the place where the accident had taken place and where Leonie and her friends from the yurts had come across him in sombre mood when they had been out for a walk.
It was where the two of them had met and would always stay as clear as crystal in his mind. Whether it had the same appeal for her he didn’t know. Probably not as she’d shown no inclination to linger on that occasion and had stayed with her friends during the awkward moment when she’d had to choose between him and them.
What would Leonie be doing now? he wondered as the bend in the road that had been the undoing of the young motorcyclist loomed up in front of him.
He’d heard from the guy’s parents a few times and the news had been encouraging as he was mobile again and back on the bike, but taking more care after what had happened.
When he turned the corner Callum stopped in his tracks. It was like history repeating itself but without the trauma of the accident. A group of youths from the community centre was squatting at the side of the road, having a break from the uphill climb, and with them was Leonie, with Julie and Brendan in charge this time. Just to see her standing there was like sunshine after rain.
‘It’s the Disco Doc!’ one of the teenagers cried, and Callum smiled.
‘We are just about to eat,’ Julie told him, ‘and would love to have you join us. Our car is not far away and there’s a big hamper in it, which is for the kids to have the chance to celebrate our wedding with us.’
So far Leonie hadn’t spoken so he had no idea whether she wanted him to join them or not, but her friend was waiting for an answer and he said easily, ‘I’d love to, as long as no one minds?’
Heatherdale's Shy Nurse (Mills & Boon Medical) Page 10