Conquering Fate
Page 16
His eyes widened and he smiled. “I like this side of you very much.” He winked.
“And you,” I said to Norill. “I don’t know why you’re complaining about the way I smell. Dressed the way you are, you look like a common whore.”
She darted over to me, snarling like an animal. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she sneered, her warm, sweet breath coating my skin. “And if I were you, I’d be careful. You have no idea what’s coming for you when this is over. At least I’ll have my magic to defend myself. You’ll have nothing but a treaty.”
“Which will be more than enough to protect her,” Morlet insisted, his voice hard.
“It almost sounds as if you care for her.”
Morlet didn’t respond.
“Interesting.” She looked at me, then the king. “Interesting indeed. If you’ll excuse me, I have some things to do.” She turned and left, her hips swaying as she walked.
“I should go,” I said.
Morlet grabbed my arm, holding me in place. “You are not permitted in the dungeon.”
“I need to know if he’s okay.”
He shook his head. “I don’t understand,” he whispered. “Why do you love him?”
I closed my eyes, trying to come up with a valid answer when I didn’t understand it myself. When I opened my eyes, I shrugged. “I can’t explain it. It’s just how I feel. There’s no rationale.”
“But why him? Why not me?”
“He doesn’t torture and kill innocent people.”
“He’s an assassin,” Morlet said snidely. “He’s probably killed more people than I have.” He squeezed my arm tighter. “We’re both killers. At least my kills are the result of Heks magic. What excuse does he have?” Shadows swirled around him. He must be calling on his magic without realizing it.
“Let me go.”
He released me and took a deep breath, the shadows vanishing. “I’ve bared my soul to you; we have a connection. You can’t deny that.”
“I know.” My eyes filled with tears. I willed them away as I looked at Morlet’s face, wanting to be honest with him. “I care for you—more than I wish to admit.”
“But you care for him more?”
I nodded.
He turned away from me, his shoulders hunching forward. “Leave me.”
“If things were different…if you were still Espen, I could love you. It would be easy.” The truth of it shocked me as I realized I did love Espen. “I’m sorry,” I added. “But it doesn’t matter who I love or care for, does it? One of us must die. We can never be together.” I left the room with an overwhelming feeling of sadness, wondering if Morlet…or Espen…felt the same way.
I turned the corner and bumped into Damaris.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” she said. “We need to talk.” She hooked her arm with mine and led me down the hallway. “Do you want to go to the courtyard?” She glanced back at the soldats trailing me.
“No.” The place held too many painful memories.
“Let’s go in here, then.” She opened a door and we stepped inside a room, the walls covered floor to ceiling with books. Two couches were situated in the middle, several tables were spread around the perimeter, and an empty fireplace was on the wall to my right.
I shivered. “I didn’t know there was a library here in the castle.”
“Morlet never uses this room.” Damaris turned to the soldats. “Leave us.” She went over and threw the curtains open, lighting the room.
I closed the door and sat on the couch. A puff of dust rose in the air around me making me sneeze. “What do you want to talk about?”
She stood in front of the empty fireplace, folding her hands together. “I think I figured out how to destroy the sapphire.”
22
“How?” I asked Damaris.
“With magic,” she revealed. “What I think you and Morlet need to do is perform the binding ceremony. As the magic within you is mixing together, you will have enough power to obliterate the pieces.”
“What is the binding ceremony?” I asked. Hadn’t Morlet and I joined magic when we married? It felt like we had.
“The binding ceremony is when a Grei Heks and a Skog Heks come together. Magic binds them by mixing their power, and then, with a whole and working sapphire, a new Heks is created. I’ve participated in the ceremony before.” Damaris came over to the couch and sat next to me, taking my hands. “It was after the sapphire was severed into three pieces and lost to us. We went through with the ceremony anyway because I wanted to declare my love for my mate. It is a powerful event. You will need to be prepared for the emotional toll it will take on you.”
“How so?” I asked.
“In order for it to work, there must be love between the two of you.” She squeezed my hands.
“I understand.” I’d have to focus on the part of Morlet that I cared for. The part of him that was still Espen.
“At the end of the ceremony, when your magic is at its strongest, you’ll need to use it to destroy the pieces before the magic consumes you or tries creating a new Heks. The timing will need to be perfect.”
I pulled my hands out of her firm grip and thought about all she’d revealed. Why did this curse require so much of me? Why did I have to tie myself to Morlet? Even if everything went my way, when this was all over, how would I live with myself and all that I’d done?
“Before you sever your connection to one another,” Damaris continued, “you’ll direct your combined magic to the sapphire. You must shatter it before it stops glowing.”
What if the magic consumed me? Would I turn into a Heks? Would a new Kriger be born? Or would I die? If I died before I fulfilled my destiny, everything I’d done up until this point would be useless. I couldn’t throw away all that I had worked for. If I went through with the binding ceremony, it had to work. I wouldn’t risk my life, my child’s life, and the fate of Nelebek otherwise. “You’ll be there the entire time to help us?”
“The Grei Heks and the Skog Heks of a kingdom must be there for the ceremony to work. Therefore, Norill and I will be present. But you must understand, it won’t be easy. You will be tested.”
My skin tingled from the implications. Tested. Because I hadn’t given enough already. I took a deep breath and replied, “I understand.” At this point, I didn’t feel like my life was even mine anymore. I belonged to Nelebek. Everything I did was for the betterment of others. I had nothing left to give.
I opened the armoire, peering inside at the dresses. My fingers touched the soft fabric. So many different colors and styles. I’d grown up wearing pants and fighting—dresses were too confining. Putting my hands on my hips, I steeled my resolve and plucked one off the hanger. There was a lot that needed to be done and not much time to do it.
I had no desire to be queen. Is this how Morlet felt when his parents had been assassinated and he found himself crowned king? Did the task before him feel daunting? Did he feel all alone? Stuck?
I pulled the dress on. First, I had to find that last piece of the sapphire. No one in the mines would speak to me. They probably wouldn’t even talk if questioned by Morlet. He’d have to use his magic on the miners to extract the information. However, he couldn’t use his magic right now, especially in the mines.
The person most suited to obtaining the information was Vidar. The first order of business was to find him. The cave needed to remain a secret from Morlet, so I couldn’t go there myself. I’d have to send Damaris.
My bo staff leaned against the wall next to my bed. I went over and picked it up, running my hands down the wooden pole. It hummed, begging to be used. My body reacted, heating up with anticipation. I set the bo staff down, not wanting to accidentally call on my power. All my life, I’d trained to be a warrior. Was it possible to be myself while wearing a dress and acting as an authority figure?
Closing my eyes, I pictured my father coming home from work after a long day in the mines. He coughed, spitting up blood. Yet,
he smiled and stood tall, wanting to be strong for me. Then I remembered him lying on the ground in the tunnels, begging me to end the curse plaguing our family—the twelfth Kriger was always a female from my family line since we were direct descendants of Linnea.
Opening my eyes, I picked up the crown and held it between my hands. Never in my dreams had I imagined I would be here, in this situation. The rightness of holding the crown, of being in this castle, suddenly filled me. Had Linnea been meant for greater things? Was she supposed to marry Espen? Had that truly been her fate and not the twisted one she suffered?
I set the crown atop my head. You can do this, my father’s voice whispered in my head. Since I couldn’t fight with my power, it was time to fight with politics.
Descending the staircase to the great hall, I caught sight of Morlet and Damaris speaking to one another. When I approached, Morlet turned toward me and froze, his eyes widening.
“Kaia?” Damaris asked, recognition slowly dawning on her face.
“I need to speak with you,” I said to her.
“I’m glad to see you taking your position seriously,” Morlet commented.
Holding my head high, I said, “Someone has to lead Nelebek. You’re not doing a very good job, so I’ve decided to do what needs to be done.”
His eyes narrowed. “And what exactly do you think needs to be done?”
“I’ll discuss that with you later. Right now, I want to talk to Damaris.” I took hold of her arm, pulling her away from Morlet. “I need you to do something for me.”
She glanced back at the guards trailing us. “What is it?” she whispered so they wouldn’t overhear.
“Go to the cave. Get Vidar and bring him here. Make sure he has the medallion with him.”
“What do you need Vidar for?” she asked.
I wasn’t ready to reveal my plans to Damaris just yet. “I have a task for him,” was all I said.
“He may already be in the capital.”
“Find out and let me know,” I said.
“And what about Anders?”
I turned the corner, trying not to stumble at the mere mention of Anders’s name. Most likely he was lying in a cell. He’d already suffered greatly. Born a slave, bought by a master assassin who had murdered his family in front of him, raised by the master assassin who turned out to be a Skog Heks, being cursed and stuck at the same age for decades, tortured, and then burned in the magical fire. Why did he have to endure so much cruelty? He deserved better.
“Kaia?” Damaris asked.
“Morlet has forbidden me to enter the dungeon. The soldats have been instructed not to admit me. However, I don’t plan for that to be the case much longer. I’ve been making a point of learning the soldats’ names and forming a connection to them. I want their loyalty to be to me, not Morlet. And I refuse to lead by fear.”
“I’m proud of you,” Damaris replied. “I didn’t think you would step into your role as queen.”
“Neither did I.” We turned the corner and came to the library. I’d asked the servants to clean the room so I could have a place to receive visitors. The room had been dusted, flowers added, and the curtains washed and rehung.
“You have been busy,” Damaris said, taking a seat on the couch.
“Yes. I also plan to make an announcement to the capital later today.”
She raised her eyebrows. “What are you going to say?”
“That I’m reevaluating every prisoner in the dungeon to make sure they’re being justly held. I’m also abolishing the tax system and will be reinstating a new one that is fair.” It was something that I’d thought about over the years. Instead of sitting around being mad about the situation I found myself in, I would implement the changes I wanted to see.
“Why are you doing this now? Why not wait until after the curse is lifted?”
I sat on the couch next to her. “Once the curse is broken, my power will be gone. People may question my authority to rule. They may insist I be hanged for Morlet’s crimes. By being proactive now, I’m hoping that once he’s dead, the transition will be peaceful.” Or that I could make the changes I wanted to see before I ran away. I couldn’t imagine living my life here in this castle, leading the kingdom of Nelebek. I just wanted a quiet life. Maybe I could still make that happen.
Damaris shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “You do realize that there will be problems from the neighboring kingdoms once the curse is lifted?”
I was aware that there would be several issues once the borders opened. I also knew that Vidar would be the most adept at handling them. Not only was he the rightful ruler, but he had been groomed to rule. I also felt he deserved to rule. He’d fought so hard over the years for his kingdom. He knew the politics of the land, the other kingdoms surrounding us, and he’d been around for years gaining the experience needed to do the job. But I still wrestled with the idea of marrying Vidar. It didn’t feel right. I removed the crown and set it atop the low table. Rubbing my forehead, I asked, “What do you suggest I do?”
“Nothing. I simply want you to understand what you face when the curse is broken.”
“I’m only sixteen,” I mumbled. I was too young to be in charge of Nelebek.
“True. But you have me. I promised you I’d be by your side to help, and I will. You can do this.”
I almost said that I had no choice, but that wasn’t right. There was a choice. And I’d made mine. I decided to put this kingdom first, before my own wants and desires. I would sacrifice myself so that my child could grow up to be happy, free, and allowed to love whomever he or she chose. I wanted to see Anders to explain all of this to him. To tell him that even though I loved him, I had other responsibilities. I finally understood why he wouldn’t fight for our relationship, why he was willing to let me go. He’d made his own sacrifice, his own choice.
“Are you all right?” Damaris asked.
“Yes.” I stood and picked up the crown, putting it back on my head. “Please return when you know where Vidar is.”
23
I entered the dining hall and took a seat.
Morlet glanced up at me. “I am not used to seeing you in a dress. Don’t get me wrong, you look lovely, but you also look different.”
“Why did you want to see me?” I asked. “I am due to speak to the citizens shortly.”
“You are not leaving the castle,” he said, leaning back against his chair.
A servant entered carrying trays of food. A plate was set in front of me, the other in front of Morlet.
Taking a deep breath, I said calmly, “You can’t keep me locked up in the castle. I am the queen. If I wish to address my people, I have the right to do so.” He’d been so insistent that I wear the crown and be Nelebek’s queen. He couldn’t change his mind now.
“What do you want to say to the people?” Morlet asked, setting his fork down and looking at me.
I needed to be honest with him even though I didn’t know how he’d react. “I plan to tell them that as their queen, I will help improve their lives.” My plate sat untouched in front of me. How could I eat when so many in the kingdom were starving?
“Hope is dangerous.” Morlet picked up his fork and resumed eating. “When I prevail, I don’t want to deal with riots or traitorous rebels. Things are running smoothly and are under control. It will stay that way.”
I snorted. People were desperate, starving, and they hated the king. The only reason people hadn’t openly stood against him was because he wielded Heks magic. “I thought you said you planned to leave if you won. That you were going to go and hide in the forest somewhere until you died.”
His grip on his fork tightened. “If you are with child, you should be in bed resting, not traipsing about the capital where you could be hurt or injured.”
“I’m not hungry.” I stood and headed for the door.
“You will not leave this castle.” His voice held the promise of a threat to it.
“Release Anders from your magical spell. Al
low him to leave this castle unharmed. In return, I promise to stay here where it is safe until we end the curse.” Which I intended to do as soon as possible.
Morlet growled and bent his fork. My power spiked, probably in response to his.
“You don’t tell me what to do,” he snarled. “Especially when it concerns the assassin.”
“Likewise, you don’t get to tell me what to do either. I am my own person and I am the queen of Nelebek. If I want to address the people of this kingdom, I will.” I stormed out of the room before he lost control of his magic.
I doubted I’d be able to leave the castle without Morlet stopping me, so I headed to my bedchamber, my guards trailing behind me. I couldn’t sneak out through the window like last time. Morlet had no doubt placed a soldat there. Closing my door, I leaned my head against the wood, tears threatening. What was I doing? I started clawing at the dress, wanting to tear the thing off. This wasn’t me. It was too confining, and I hated it. Removing the dress, I put my pants and tunic on, thankful they hadn’t been thrown away. My hair was finally long enough to pull back. A black cloak hung in the armoire. I took it out and draped it over my body. Now all I had to do was find a way out of the castle without anyone knowing.
Closing my eyes, I thought about my different options. The safest and smartest course of action was to use stealth. I’d have to be quick about it so the magic wouldn’t overtake me. I calmed my breathing, willing myself to be in control. Calling on my power, it responded. I formed a shield around my body. I opened the door and shot my power out at each of the guards, rendering all six of them unconscious. No one else was in the hallway.
I dropped my shield and my arms began shaking. My feet felt as if they were melting into the floor. Voices whispered all around me. “Be gone,” I said, hoping to control the power instead of letting it overwhelm me. It laughed and I ignored it, running down the hallway even though my feet felt like large stones. I needed the medallion back so I would be protected from the Heks magic trying to take me.