Rosalia's Bittersweet Pastry Shop

by Rosanna Chiofalo

  After the show, they made their way to the Piazza del Duomo to meet up with Francesco and Teresa.

  “Flowers for the beautiful woman, signore?” A woman holding a basket of assorted flowers stood before them.

  “Si.” Antonio pulled a few lire from his pocket and handed them to the woman as she gave him a bouquet of daisies, marigolds, and carnations.

  “For you.” He smiled as he gave the bouquet to Rosalia.

  She had wanted to tell him not to buy the flowers for her, but for some reason she didn’t. He had been nothing but kind and generous to her ever since she’d met him, and she knew if she refused the flowers, he would be disappointed. And the thought of making Antonio sad did not sit well with Rosalia.

  “Grazie, Antonio.”

  They were quiet for the rest of the walk toward the cathedral. Rosalia was feeling more and more troubled by these feelings she was having about Antonio. They were good friends. He looked out for her, almost like a brother. Yes, that must be why she felt the way she did about him. He reminded her of Luca. That was why she didn’t want to disappoint him and why she knew she would miss him when he went to culinary school someday. It would be like losing her brother all over again. Antonio reached for her hand again, startling her for a moment. Her pulse raced, and once again her stomach fluttered, but the feeling was even stronger this time. Whom was she fooling? Antonio was nothing like her quiet brother Luca. And she’d never felt remotely like this when she was a child and had held Luca’s hand.

  Perhaps she needed to place some distance between herself and Antonio. But how could she do that when they worked together in the kitchen and pastry shop every day? And how would she explain her sudden aloofness toward him?

  “Ah! There they are.” Antonio pointed toward Francesco and Teresa, who were sitting on a bench in front of a fountain. They held each other in a tight embrace and were kissing.

  Rosalia stopped walking toward them.

  “Maybe we should wait until they’re . . .” For what felt like the hundredth time today, she blushed.

  “If we wait for them to be done kissing, we’ll miss the whole Carnevale parade!” Antonio laughed. “Come on! Don’t be shy about interrupting them.”

  Antonio walked ahead of Rosalia, letting go of her hand. She noticed how cool her palm felt without Antonio’s pressed against hers.

  “Basta! Enough! It’s time for the parade.”

  Antonio clapped his hands loudly in Francesco’s and Teresa’s faces. They stopped kissing and laughed upon seeing him.

  “Where’s Rosalia? Did you have a good time at the puppet show?” Teresa asked, looking behind Antonio for Rosalia.

  “Si, it was fun. You should’ve come,” Rosalia said.

  “Ah! We needed some time to ourselves. No offense.” Teresa gave Francesco a sultry look.

  A loud drum began thumping, soon followed by trombones and trumpets as the parade began. The sky had now completely darkened, making it the perfect setting for the floats, which were bright with lights and beginning to come down in a procession. This was nothing like the small parade Rosalia’s hometown of Terme Vigliatore had. The floats were enormous and very elaborate. She marveled at a float in the image of the Pope. People crossed themselves when the Pope float went by as if it were the Holy Father himself. Rosalia couldn’t help but laugh.

  “You shouldn’t be laughing at il Papa,” Antonio whispered in her ear, before laughing himself.

  Again, she felt her pulse race.

  “Maschere! Maschere!”

  “Qui!” Antonio shouted to the man selling Carnevale masks, raising his hand in the air.

  “Please, Antonio, let me pay for these.” Rosalia reached into her satchel purse that she wore wrapped around her body, but Antonio placed his hand over hers.

  “I insist.”

  Before Rosalia could protest again, he had already paid the man.

  “Now choose which mask you want.”

  Rosalia shook her head at him, but she was smiling.

  “You’re too kind to me, Antonio. Grazie mille.”

  She scanned the masks, and her eyes were immediately drawn to one in a deep shade of purple with shimmering royal-blue sequins and feathers in the same colors. Faux sapphires and amethysts dangled from its sides.

  “May I have this mask, please?”

  The man handed it to Rosalia. “You chose the perfect color to complement your beautiful dark hair, signorina.”

  “Grazie.” She blushed slightly at his compliment.

  “And I’ll take this one.” Antonio pointed to a simple black mask.

  Rosalia stared at her mask. It was so beautiful. It had been ages since she had owned something this pretty. She thought about her clothes and her possessions that she had left behind in her childhood home, but which were now gone. But their loss paled in comparison to the loss of her family.

  “Dai! Let’s see how our masks look on us,” Antonio said as he placed the elastic band of his mask over his head and fastened it in place.

  Rosalia giggled.

  “That bad?”

  “No, it actually looks quite good on you. I just laughed because you look so different.”

  And it was true. The mask made Antonio look mysterious, and even more handsome. With the mask on, his cheekbones were more pronounced and his lips looked fuller. She felt her cheeks warming up as she realized he had noticed she was staring at his lips. Antonio merely peered at her through his mask as a slow grin spread across his face.

  Hoping to cover her blush, she held her mask to her face with the wand that was attached to it. Unlike Antonio’s mask, hers did not have an elastic band, so she could lower it whenever she felt like it.

  “Bellissima!” Antonio exclaimed.

  She lowered her mask, but he raised her arm so she would cover her face again.

  “Let’s keep them on for the duration of the festivities. After all, how often can we wear masks and pretend to be someone else?”

  “That’s true!” Rosalia laughed.

  “It seems that we’ve lost Francesco and Teresa.” Rosalia strained her neck to try to see above the crowds in front of them, but it was no use.

  “Don’t worry. We can always wait for them by Francesco’s car when the parade is over.”

  Rosalia nodded. “I have a small confession to make.”

  “Oh no! Should I be afraid?” Antonio clutched his heart, eliciting a giggle from Rosalia.

  “It’s not about you. I’m a bit relieved to have some time away from Francesco and Teresa again. I kind of feel like we’re not with them anyway. They’re so caught up in themselves.”

  “That’s a polite way of putting it. But I guess that’s how it is when you’re in love and it’s still new.”

  Rosalia hesitated for a moment before asking, “Have you ever been in love?”

  She held her breath. Rosalia couldn’t believe she’d had the nerve to ask him such a personal question, but wearing the mask made it easier. She felt protected behind it.

  “I had boyhood crushes, but no, I don’t think I was ever truly in love. I have escorted girls to dances and on walks, but things never progressed more. My mamma always told me never to rush love. She told me that young people are often in a rush for everything to happen: fall in love, get married, drive a car, whatever it is that most young people can’t wait to do. She said love should be thought of as a piece of fruit that is waiting to ripen. Take your time with it, and when it is right, you will delight in its full essence.”

  “That’s beautiful and sounds very wise. Your mother was a smart woman.”

  “She was. I miss her so much.” Antonio’s voice cracked.

  Rosalia placed her hand on his, giving it a light squeeze. This was the first time she had heard Antonio express how much he missed his late mother. And in this moment, she felt she could relate to him only too well.

  “I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to lose your mother so young. I know how I am feeling about being separated
from my family, but I can’t imagine how I would feel if I knew there was no way I could see them again. At least I know they are alive, and someday I will see them again.”

  Antonio pulled Rosalia toward him and, before she knew what he was doing, he placed a kiss on her lips. Her eyes widened, but he didn’t notice. She could see his own eyes were closed behind his mask. Part of her wanted to run, but another part of her felt entranced by the feel of his soft, warm lips pressed against hers. Before she could decide what to do, Antonio kissed her again, and again. She closed her eyes and pressed her hands up against his chest. The bouquet of flowers she’d been holding all night fell to the ground. Finally, Antonio broke the kiss, bending down to pick up her bouquet.

  Rosalia had lowered her mask for a moment when Antonio bent down to pick up the flowers. But when he stood back up, and their eyes met, she quickly raised the mask to her features and turned her back toward him. Her mouth was very dry, and her heart felt like it would burst through her chest. Silently, she chided herself. Why did you let him keep kissing you? Why did you kiss him back?

  “Let’s go sit down on one of the benches. Are you thirsty? I can get us some water.”

  Rosalia nodded. She dared not speak for she was afraid how nervous her voice would sound.

  Antonio took Rosalia by the hand and led her through the crowds to a bench that was far from the parade.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  She was grateful for the time alone. Lowering her mask, she pressed her fingers to her lips. They felt a bit swollen. She’d been kissed. Not that this was the first time a man had kissed her. The day Marco had kissed Rosalia in her father’s tailor shop was the first time a man had kissed her. He had robbed her of what she had always envisioned that special moment would be like, just as he had robbed her of her maidenhood. She had always thought she would share that moment on her wedding night with the man she would marry someday—the man she loved. Unlike Marco’s rough, bruising kisses, Antonio’s had been so gentle and light. Even when he’d deepened the kiss, she could tell he had been exercising control. He was kind in everything he did toward her.

  He returned with two paper cups.

  “All I could find was an old lady selling limonata. I hope that’s all right. I didn’t want to go searching for water and make you wait here alone a long time.”

  Again, she couldn’t help marveling at how thoughtful he was.

  “I love lemonade, so that’s perfect.” She smiled, and then she realized she was no longer holding her mask up to her face. Neither was Antonio. Though her pulse raced as she thought about their kiss, she was no longer blushing.

  They sipped their lemonades and didn’t talk for a few minutes. Rosalia finally broke the silence.

  “You were right. Aci is beautiful. The cathedral and all the churches look stunning all lit up at night. And their Carnevale celebration is absolutely breathtaking. I’m having a wondeful time. Grazie, Antonio.”

  Antonio smiled. “It makes me happy to hear that you’ve enjoyed yourself. I felt bad when we went to Messina that it wasn’t as pleasurable an outing as I had hoped it would be.”

  “Don’t feel bad, Antonio. I am to blame since I wanted to inquire about my family at the shops. I should be apologizing to you that I ruined the day.”

  “Don’t be silly! It made me feel good to try to help you find your family. I see how sad you are without them, and it pains me to see you this way.”

  They were silent once more. Rosalia wondered if perhaps now was the time for her to share with him why she was separated from her loved ones. But she didn’t want to dampen the mood. She was having a good time, and she didn’t want a dark cloud to be hanging over them as it had that day in Messina after she’d asked the merchants about her family. Besides, she was still too afraid to tell him why she was estranged from her family. For that would mean having to tell him about Marco. And she definitely was not ready to tell Antonio about him.

  “I’m sorry, Rosalia, if I was too forward by kissing you. I don’t know what came over me. Well . . . that’s not exactly true. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, and talking about how much I miss my mother and your sharing with me how you could understand how I felt just made me lose all reason. I just wanted to hold you close. Ah! I’m embarrassing you again. I can see your face coloring up.”

  Rosalia patted her cheeks with her hands as if the action would make them blush less.

  “I take after my mother.”

  “What?” Antonio looked confused.

  “My cheeks burning up so much . . . how I blush over any little thing that makes me embarrassed or uncomfortable. I get that from my mother. My father always teased her about that, and then he teased me when he noticed I suffered from the same affliction. I’m cursed.”

  Rosalia looked at Antonio, and then they broke out laughing. They laughed so hard that tears came to their eyes. Once their laughter subsided, Rosalia realized she no longer felt flushed.

  “Rosalia, I can tell you are the type of girl who needs to take her time with things, and I want you to know I am a very patient person. I would like to court you and become even better friends with you than we are now. Would you consider letting me court you?”

  She was stunned. Though she’d sensed recently that Antonio might like her in that way, she had kept hoping she was wrong, just as she had been trying to fool herself into thinking that the reason why she felt strange around him, especially when he held her hand, was because he was like a brother to her. But now, after their kiss and his admission of wanting to court her, she could no longer deny it. She didn’t know though if she was ready after her ordeal with Marco. Besides, what would happen if Antonio got his wish of going to cooking school in Paris? Was he just using her to make the time at the convent go by quickly? No. She knew in her heart Antonio was not like that. He was a good person. Just as she had known early on that Marco was bad.

  “Antonio, I like spending time with you. I have learned a lot from you working by your side at the pastry shop. And you are so kind to me. I feel like I can trust you. But I must warn you. I’m not sure about a lot in my life right now. It is hard for me to make any concrete plans for even the near future because my thoughts are so focused on trying to find my family. I don’t want to mislead you. Perhaps it might be better if we just remained the good friends that we already are.”

  Antonio looked crestfallen. She could see his cheeks suck in as he let out a long breath. Again, she felt sad that she was letting him down, but she knew she had to be honest with him.

  “What are you so afraid of, Rosalia? You say you trust me, but you don’t.”

  “That’s not true. I do.”

  Antonio shook his head. “From the moment we first met, I sensed how scared you were, especially around me. I didn’t see you act as nervously around the women at the convent. The only times I’d seen you anxious was around me, at least those first few weeks after we met, and then whenever one of the men who work on the convent’s property or who make deliveries would walk by you. I know you feel more comfortable around me now. I don’t doubt that, but I still sense you are holding yourself back and don’t fully trust me. I also know, Rosalia, that someone hurt you very badly. And I suspect this is why you still don’t trust me completely.”

  Rosalia’s face paled. “What do you know?”

  “Nothing. I can just tell by the way you have acted around me and, as I said, whenever another man is nearby. That day when my friend gave us a ride back to the convent from Messina, you seemed very nervous around him. Rosalia, I just want to help you.”

  Antonio waited for Rosalia to respond, but she didn’t for a couple of minutes.

  “You are right. I don’t trust men easily. And someone did hurt me. But that is all I can say for now. I mean it, however, when I tell you that I trust you, Antonio. At least now, I do. I know you would never hurt me, and I feel safe when I’m with you. But just because I do trust you and feel safe with you doesn’t mean that I’m ready
for our friendship to become something more. You were also right when you said you could tell I need to take things slow.”

  “That’s fine. Would you at least consider spending more time with me? I mean, spending more time with me alone, away from the convent, like that day we went to Messina. I was thinking on our days off of work from the pastry shop, we could go on a few outings. But I want it to be just us—none of our friends joining us like Francesco and Teresa. This way we can get to know each other better.”

  “Well, I have no objection to not inviting Francesco and Teresa. That is probably the real reason why you couldn’t help yourself tonight and kissed me, since you had those two constantly locking lips in our faces!” Rosalia laughed.

  Antonio laughed with her.

  “You have quite a sense of humor, I’m beginning to see. It makes me happy that you can laugh and joke with me like you do. That shows me you truly do feel comfortable around me now.”

  They could hear fireworks erupting in the distance.

  “Ah! Let’s go. I don’t want you to miss the fireworks.”

  “We can see them from here.” Rosalia pointed to the sky off in the distance, near where the parade had ended.

  “It’s not close enough. Come on!” Antonio held out his hand. They ran through the streets as they approached the fireworks.

  The sound was deafening as they arrived at the spot where the fireworks were launching into the night sky. Rosalia held her fingers to her ears as she stared at the spectacle of lights playing out above her. She then felt Antonio wrap his arms around her. Instead of fighting the feelings, she decided to surrender to them. She’d been alone for months now, without the comfort and love of her family. Except for Madre Carmela, no one else had hugged her. She leaned into Antonio and wrapped her own arms around him. And when Antonio looked down into her face, surprise etched over his features in response to her gesture, she stood on her toes and placed a light kiss on his cheek.