by Layla Silver
A little later, with the jar safely entrusted to the agency techs and my dignity still mostly intact, I treated myself to take-out Thai food on the way home. Instead of eating in the kitchen, though, I carried my meal to my office. Unable to help myself, I logged on to the agency’s private site and clicked on the tracking page.
Every baby was assigned a unique code, and everything associated with the process was logged. Both surrogates and fathers could check-in at any time and see where things stood. The latest entry, made only moments ago read: Sample Received. Routed for processing.
According to the tracking log, Celeste’s appointment had been yesterday. Sometime in the next few days, another entry would pop up, telling us both that the samples had been combined to successfully create our child. A baby.
I sat back in my chair, twirling a nest of noodles around the disposable chopsticks that had come with my meal. Shoving the bite in my mouth, I stared at the screen while I chewed, my head and heart spinning. This was really happening. It was all there. At the start of next week, Celeste would go back, and when she walked out of that building again, she’d be carrying my baby. I almost couldn’t wrap my head around it.
Nine months, I thought, mechanically taking another bite. In nine months, there would be a tiny, helpless little baby in my arms. In my house. Oh shit. I dropped the food back on the desk and rapidly typed preparing your house for a baby in the search box.
When I crawled out of the Google rabbit-hole two hours later, my Thai food was cold, but I had four pages of notes scrawled on a legal pad, and I was bursting with energy and excitement I didn’t know I could feel. I could do this. I already knew exactly which bedroom I wanted to convert into a nursery, and I had enough information to start making a plan of attack for the rest of the house.
In nine months, this place was going to be absolutely ready for my baby.
Chapter 8 – Celeste
I turned to the side and then back to face the mirror, my eyes riveted on my bare stomach. Only a little more than an hour ago, I’d been sitting at the agency, my heart in my throat as Dr. Carlton showed me the test results. Everything had gone exactly to plan.
I was officially pregnant.
I believed her when she said it, but wrapping my head around it was something else altogether. I couldn’t feel it yet. Couldn’t see it, in my body. It felt blissfully exciting and wildly unreal at the same time. I didn’t know what to do.
My first thought was to call Katie. She’d been dumbfounded when I told her what we were doing. Completely speechless, which was vanishingly rare for her. Then she’d gushed about how exciting it was, how brave I was, how thrilled she was to be an unofficial aunt. But I had known her long enough to see the discomfort behind her delight. My surrogacy was as foreign to her as her wedding was to me. She’d be there for me, but she needed time to adjust, too.
A walk, I decided instead. Pulling my shirt back on, I went to my room for sneakers. I’d go for a walk and clear my head, then maybe get some work done. The rest of my life didn’t stop just because this was really happening, after all.
Dr. Carlton had warned when I started the preliminary hormone treatments to prepare my body that I might find myself needing more sleep as my body adjusted. I also found myself more emotional. My mood could swing quickly toward either laughter or tears. I’d be a mess, and then it would dissipate as abruptly as it had set it, leaving me tired but steady again. Dr. Carlton insisted that was normal, too, and advised me to take it easy when I needed to.
I was trying to be obedient on that front, but I had quickly come to the realization that if this was going to be my new normal for the immediate future, then I would need to work and focus whenever I was up to it to compensate for when I might not be.
With all those thoughts swirling in my head, I shoved my feet into my shoes and headed out. Since I wasn’t going to shift, I took the public biking route along the canal. It was a scenic walk and an easy one, perfect for clearing my head.
There weren’t many other people out, but I passed two young mothers coming from the other direction. The women were gossiping happily, their babies sound asleep in the safe, shady recesses of their strollers. Idly, I wondered if Nathan would get a stroller for the baby, or if he’d prefer one of the carrying harnesses I’d seen men wear across their chests.
Would I get something like that myself, or just use whichever he bought? I tried to imagine myself taking this same walk a year from now, my baby cradled against my chest in a carrier or a sling. Would we have a boy or a girl?
I tried to imagine the weight of a chubby-cheeked baby against my chest and soft, wispy hair under my fingers. I pictured myself breathing in the sweet new baby smell. Maybe I would tell him or her stories as we walked. Or maybe I’d talk about what we passed, describing the birds and the flowers and everything else they were too tiny to understand yet.
Skirting a knot of elderly women power-walking just ahead of me, I wondered how often I would get to take walks like this with my baby. Nathan would have custody, after all. It wasn’t that I didn’t think he’d approve—I was sure he’d be supportive of whatever time I wanted to spend with our child. But we each ran our own businesses, and there was pack business to see to. There would be conflicting schedules and child care arrangements to work around. Then, of course, there was the weather to take into consideration. We couldn’t walk when it was ugly out, but my home was not at all set up for a baby yet.
I was still pondering those logistics when the path branched. I stepped off the pavement and onto the packed dirt trail that led away from the water and into a series of loops through the forest. It was the middle of the afternoon on a school day, so I had the place mostly to myself. I could hear other people in the distance, but I enjoyed the isolation. Would the baby like it, too? Or would he or she be a social butterfly, always eager to meet new people? I thought about pack gatherings and couldn’t help but wonder how the baby would do. Some pups thrived on the vibrant energy of the events. Others buried their faces in their parents’ shoulders, overwhelmed. It’s all right, I thought at the baby. I will love you and be there for you no matter what. The thought made me feel bright and buoyant.
Rounding a bend in the trail, I was sharply yanked out of my happy reverie. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I barely swallowed a growl. The two men I’d nearly stumbled over stopped, too. I could see them scenting the breeze and was fleetingly grateful that I wasn’t far enough along for my pregnancy to be obvious in my scent.
“Elias,” I greeted, warily. He was part of Kurt’s pack; they both were. “Rudi. Aren’t you a little out of bounds?”
“Little wolf,” Elias’s lips curved up in an ugly approximation of a smile, showing teeth.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know my name or where the boundary line is,” I snapped. Everyone in neighboring packs knew everyone else, if only by name and sight. It was a safety measure, and I was having none of their innocent act.
“Celeste,” Rudi said my name like a caress. It was nauseating, but I stood my ground. “We’re just exploring our future territory,” he continued, spreading his hands and adopting a smile as creepy as his friend’s. “When Kurt takes over your pack, these will be our hunting grounds, too.”
“Kurt is not going to take over my pack,” I informed them, flatly. “If he challenges Nathan to combat, he’ll get his throat ripped out, and you’ll need a new Alpha.”
Elias chuckled and prowled closer. “I don’t think so, little wolf.”
I planted my feet, certain even he wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything out in the open in broad daylight.
“Your pack is divided,” he taunted. “Weak. But don’t worry. Kurt will shape you up.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not happening.”
“Oh, but you might like it,” Rudi drawled, joining Elias in circling around me. They never got quite close enough to touch, but my awareness of them that close made my skin crawl. “We could get you a mate. I hear yo
ur pack is so lacking in males that you bitches are reduced to marrying humans. We could fix that.”
I bit my tongue, swallowing the sharp retort that rose. Katie’s marriage was none of their business, and protesting that she actually loved Leo would make no difference here. “Half your females have moved away,” I taunted, instead. “Doesn’t suggest there’s much in the way of worthwhile males in your pack.”
Elias snarled. “Maybe you just don’t know what one looks like, bitch.” He eyed me lewdly. “I can show you.”
“Over my Alpha’s dead body,” I shot back.
Rudi grinned. “Fine by me. I’m sure Kurt will let us show you what you’ve been missing when he takes over.”
“He hasn’t taken over yet,” I pointed out, icily. “Which means that right now, you’ve crossed territorial bounds without permission. My Alpha would really love someone to take his frustrations out on, so I suggest you get the hell back to your own turf before he catches you here.”
For a moment, they hovered, clearly debating the risks. Then Elias inclined his head with a slimy, bared-teeth smile, and they melted into the trees.
The encounter ruined my hopes of calm, and I headed back down the trail the way I’d come.
They’re not important, I told myself, irritably. Nathan could take them apart, and the baby would make the whole thing go away anyway. You need to focus on what matters.
I distracted myself from the run-in by composing a mental to-do list as the trail rejoined the canal path. When I got home, I grabbed a piece of scrap paper and dumped the list onto it. I was checking my planner to make sure I’d accounted for all the orders coming due when the phone rang.
“Hello?” I picked up the phone without checking the caller ID and cradled it against my ear so I could finish scrawling notes to myself.
“Celeste?” Nathan sounded … nervous.
I put the pen down. “Yes?”
“I just wanted to see how things went,” he said quickly. I imagined him on the other end of the line, pacing his office as he talked. “I saw in the system that you had an appointment today, but it hasn’t updated yet. Was—did everything go okay?”
I tried not to smile. If he was this worked up about the conception, he was going to be beside himself when the baby was born.
“It all went fine,” I assured him. “All the tests came back positive. I’m officially pregnant, and the baby and I are both healthy.” It still didn’t feel real, but saying it aloud sent happy energy zinging through me, all the way down to my toes.
“That’s—that’s great!” Nathan laughed, his joy bubbling over the line. “I’m—good. That’s really good.”
“Yeah,” I said, glancing down at my planner again, a smile still playing on my lips. I added absently, “Especially since I ran into Elias and Rudi in the forest this afternoon. The sooner we can satisfy the Elders that you have a family and get you instated as Alpha, the better.”
“You what?!”
I blinked. His tone had gone from delighted to hot rage blindingly fast.
“Rudi and Elias,” I repeated, slowly, unprepared for that response. “They were in the woods. They said—”
“They talked to you?” He swore. “Stay there; I’ll be right over.”
“What?”
There was a definitive click, and I was left staring at the phone, baffled. What on earth had just happened?
Chapter 9 – Nathan
Kurt’s wolves had been on my turf. In my woods. They’d talked to Celeste, and if they’d been close enough to talk, they’d been close enough to hurt her. Fury pulsed through me, raw and violent. If they’d touched so much as a hair on her head, I would rip their hands off and shove them down their throats, the Elders and their anti-confrontational stance be damned.
Careening into Celeste’s driveway, I ripped the keys out of the ignition and stalked toward the door. She opened it as I approached. “Nathan, what—”
“Did they hurt you?” I pushed the door open further, my eyes sweeping over her, looking for signs of injury.
She stepped back, surprise and alarm registering on her face. “Of course not. It was a public trail in broad daylight.”
My nostrils flared, searching for any hint of their scents on her as I shoved the door shut behind me. Riled as I was, I was in no mood for an open door at my back. “What did they say?”
Her brow furrowed. “They were just talking, Nathan.”
I didn’t find any trace of their scents, but Celeste’s scent had altered. Not enough for anyone else to notice, I was sure. But with all my senses on high alert, the change was unmistakable. She smelled more lush, somehow. Rich and inviting. Desire shot through me, fierce and hot.
“It was nothing we haven’t heard before,” Celeste continued, oblivious to my desire.
She pursed her lips, and I ground my teeth, biting back the urge to kiss her breathless.
“Kurt will take over, we’ll all be at their mercy, the usual nonsense.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I told them off, and they left. Really, there’s nothing to be worked up about.” She frowned, her demeanor shifting. “I mean, they were out of bounds. They haven’t been that bold before. I wasn’t expecting it.”
“They cornered you,” I accused. “Ambushed you where you should have been safe.” I was going to tear them apart for that. I shook my head. “I won’t let them get away with it.”
She scowled at that. “Stop it! You’re overreacting. It was just a shock, that’s all.”
“They could have hurt you,” I bit out, stalking closer. She retreated, backing toward the wall, her eyes widening. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, Celeste.” I was the Alpha, and whether she wanted me or not, Celeste was mine. She was under my protection.
Without warning, her face crumpled, and her hands balled into fists. “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”
Ice sluiced through me. “What?”
“You left,” she accused, her eyes flooding with tears. “I needed you, and you weren’t here!”
The pain in her voice carved through me, reopening old wounds. Grief and agony roared through me, joining my bloodlust in an onslaught I could do nothing to resist.
“I know.” The words scraped out of my throat, and I closed the last of the distance between us. I lifted one hand and stroked my thumb over her delicate cheekbone, where the first tears were streaking down her face. “I know.”
She was soft under my fingers just as I remembered her, and the feel of her skin unraveled the last of my conscious thought. Sliding my hand back, I dug my fingers into the silken hair at the nape of her neck. She tilted her head back into my touch, exposing the pale column of her throat, and her eyes fluttered shut. Mindless with desire, I pinned her body to the wall with mine and dropped my head to the exquisite curve where her neck and shoulder met.
Her taste had altered, too. It was slight—like a pinch of one new spice added to a recipe you know by heart. The effect was drugging. I fisted the hand I had buried in her hair, gratified when she let out a low moan and arched further into my touch. I trailed hot kisses up her neck, my left hand finding her hip and kneading it firmly as I reached the spot behind her ear that had always driven her mad.
Her hips hitched when I pressed my lips to it, and I grinned against her skin. I was already hard, my cock throbbing in the suddenly-too-tight confines of my pants. I teased the tender spot on her throat again, and Celeste whimpered, grinding against my hardness.
“Nathan.” Her hands fisted in my shirt. “Nathan—oh!”
I moved my hand from her hip to her breast, and she lost whatever she’d meant to say. Satisfying as that was, there was far too much clothing between us. I could smell her lust. It soaked through her natural scent, and my body answered the call, unable to resist her.
Sliding both my hands down, I found the hem of her t-shirt and leaned back just enough to pull it over her head. She gasped a little as it came off, and I took in her flushed skin and wide, bright eyes hung
rily.
“Nathan …”
She sounded uncertain, and the Alpha in me responded viscerally. Pinning her to the wall again, I cupped her jaw in one hand. Tilting her head back again, I crushed my mouth to hers, fiercely. Celly moaned into the kiss, her body melting into mine. Her hands found my arms and clung. I gave a low rumble of approval, my tongue teasing her mouth open.
Her lips parted for me willingly, and I delved into her, teasing and tasting until she was squirming against me. I broke the kiss, smug satisfaction suffusing me. She wanted more, and I could give it to her. I could give her everything.
Mouthing kisses along her jaw, I worked my way down, my hands finding the front clasp on her bra and flicking it open. She gave a yelp when my hands cupped her firm breasts, then bucked her hips into mine, and I stroked my thumbs over her rosy nipples. Shifting my weight, I wedged one thigh between hers and pressed up.
Celeste whined and shot me a pouting glare I hadn’t seen in years but had never forgotten. Unrepentant, I rolled her nipples between my thumbs and forefingers, pinching lightly and savoring the way they hardened under my touch. She’d always had deliciously sensitive breasts, and I’d loved cornering her against a wall just like this—her bare breasts in my hands, her body desperately seeking friction against my thigh. It felt feral and powerful, and I let myself ride the high of it as her rocking picked up pace.
Color was high in her cheeks, and her pupils were blown wide. She was stunning, my Celeste. Arousal poured off her, filling my nose, and I sucked it in, unable to get enough.
“Nathan,” she gasped. “Nathan, please.”
“Mmmm, please what?” I rumbled, nosing at her throat.
She whimpered again, her fingernails digging into my skin as she clutched my arms harder. “Clothes,” she protested plaintively.
I chuckled, nipping at her collarbone. “Anything you want, baby.”