Learn to Fly

by Heidi Hutchinson

  Learn To Fly

  By Heidi R Hutchinson

  Learn To Fly

  Copyright © 2013 Heidi R Hutchinson

  All Rights Reserved

  Cover Design: Heidi R Hutchinson

  Book Design: Heidi R Hutchinson

  Photography by Damien Lovegrove

  Editors: Hillary Hanson and J. Dan Barnes

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Keep Your Eyes Open

  Chapter 2

  Times Like These

  Chapter 3

  Best of You

  Chapter 4

  Creatures (For A While)

  Chapter 5

  Falling

  Chapter 6

  Short Skirt/Long Jacket

  Chapter 7

  Breakout

  Chapter 8

  Lines In Sand

  Chapter 9

  Beautiful Disaster

  Chapter 10

  The Outsiders

  Chapter 11

  Tensioning

  Chapter 12

  Magpies On Fire

  Chapter 13

  The Deepest Blues Are Black

  Chapter 14

  All Apologies

  Chapter 15

  Glycerine

  Chapter 16

  A Drop In The Ocean

  Chapter 17

  Drive All Night

  Chapter 18

  February Stars

  Chapter 19

  Deep Inside Of You

  Chapter 20

  Learn To Fly

  Chapter 21

  No Way Back

  Chapter 22

  Victorian Machinery

  Chapter 23

  Get Around This

  Chapter 24

  All In

  Epilogue

  Sweetness

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  To Laura

  they call them betas but

  I will always think of you as the alpha

  since you were the first believer

  Prologue

  Cologne, Germany

  Two years ago

  Luke rubbed his eyes, trying to clear the aggravation and exhaustion from his head simultaneously. His mind raced with flashes and images of the previous six months, compiling a staggering montage of lights, music, chicks, booze, fights, landmarks, more booze, plane flights, brawls, interviews, parties and even more booze.

  “This isn't how it's supposed to happen.” He realized his words were probably a waste in the quiet hospital room. It didn't matter. He had some things he needed to get off his chest and Mike was the only one he told things to. Ever.

  “We were gonna become mega rock stars and see the world, remember that? We had a deal. We promised we wouldn't do all the stereotypical bull crap that so many who'd gone before us did. We were smarter than that.”

  He sighed heavily and ground his teeth together at the lack of argument that came from the still figure in the bed. Luke would prefer a straight out brawl to the steady sound of the ventilator and gentle beeping of the bedside monitor.

  He wished Mike would defend himself. Shout and yell, give him an excuse or explanation. But the soft hum of the machines keeping him alive was the only response.

  The past twenty-fours had been the worst kind of wake-up call Luke had ever received. He'd been at a bar with Blake, ignoring Carl's incessant cellphone harassment. All while his best friend and drummer had been rushed to a local hospital for a drug overdose. By the time Carl got through to them, Mike was already in a coma.

  No one knew what Mike had taken, but Luke suspected it was heroin. The toxicologist would know soon enough. The real question, the one that had Luke's stomach tied into a thousand and one knots, was whether or not Mike had done it on purpose.

  “You can't die.” Luke said sternly, his hands raking back his dirty blonde hair. “I need you to wake up so I can kick your ass.”

  He should have seen this coming. He knew Mike was upset. He had been for most of the tour but Luke was too busy having...a good time. He didn't want to get weighed down by Mike's sour disposition. So he had started avoiding him. Ignoring him.

  “I'm sorry,” his voice cracked as emotion filled his throat. “I should have been there. I would've stopped you.”

  But that was a lie. Luke had spent the majority of the tour completely wasted, he wouldn't have known what to do at all. It was a miracle that Carl, their ever-loyal tour manager, had checked on Mike on a hunch. And it still might not have been in time.

  “Seriously, wake up.” Luke said again, swallowing hard. “I don't know what happened with Ilsa and I don't know where we go after all of this but I promise...I promise you won't go through it alone. And I promise I'll be the brother to you that you always were for me.”

  Hot tears dripped down Luke's face. “But you can't die...You just can't.”

  Chapter 1

  Keep Your Eyes Open

  Lenny glanced down at the silver and pearl face of her watch again. Ten more minutes, plenty of time. She pulled open the large glass door to the downtown Los Angeles business building. Her blonde hair reflected briefly in the mirrors behind the front desk as she strode purposefully past security to the elevators around the corner. Going to an interview in a building where her father owned half the floors gave her a twinge of guilt, but nothing more.

  The lobby was a smattering of suits, briefcases and clacking high heels. Lenny pressed the button to the lift, shifted on her feet considering her options, and then started up the stairs without waiting.

  She took the stairs two at a time at a full sprint, taking advantage of the need to expel some of her nervous energy. She didn't bother removing her high heels and smirked to herself at how stubborn she was about even the smallest things. She couldn't squelch the anticipation that built in her with every stride; as if she was finally headed in a direction that was taking her somewhere better than where she had been. Her long legs quickly carried her to the third floor where she exited, barely winded. She straightened her pressed white blouse and strode to the receptionist’s desk coolly.

  The woman behind the desk looked up at Lenny's approach with a practiced smile. “May I help you?” Her deep red hair was pulled back into a tight bun and her wide green eyes were framed by thick, trendy glasses.

  “I have an appointment with Jerry Douglas,” Lenny responded professionally, “My name is Lenny Evans.” She almost hesitated saying her full name, but decided that it was highly doubtful the receptionist would recognize it. The woman gave her a split-second double -take; Lenny kept her face impassive. The woman narrowed her eyes slightly but waved her to a seat with a perfectly manicured hand and picked up the phone to announce her arrival.

  Lenny sat in the chair stiffly. She hated the scratchy fabric of her dress pants against her legs and the pinch that accompanied wearing heels. Hopefully it would be worth it. She could suffer a few minutes of physical discomfort if it meant changing the direction her life had been going. Nearly any new direction would be welcome at this point.

  She adjusted her small purse on her lap, more practical than eye catching, and thought again about the
conversation she'd had with Simone the night before.

  Simone, the long-suffering girlfriend of her brother Scott, was a well-established photographer from the east coast. At a shoot the day before, she had overheard a conversation involving an immediate job opening and called Lenny that evening.

  “I didn't get a lot of details but apparently the job is for a personal assistant and there's a lot of travel involved.” Simone's voice was hushed, as if she didn't want anyone to overhear her. That made sense, she was probably with Scott. And if Scott knew Lenny was looking for a way out he'd pitch a fit. Older brothers tended to assume they could run the lives of their siblings.

  “Thanks, Simone.” Lenny scribbled down the phone number. “I owe you one.”

  Lenny had called the number and set up an interview immediately. The required travel was the most appealing part. She needed to get away. Now. She really didn't care, apart from prostitution or porn, what she had to do to make that happen.

  Double doors opened to her right, and a short, bald man in a suit came out to greet Lenny. When she entered the posh office, she was surprised to see another man already sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Baldy shook her hand and introduced himself as Jerry Douglas.

  “This is Carl Darrow,” he motioned to the second man who had already stood up and was reaching his hand to Lenny’s.

  His attire was very different from Mr. Douglas, wearing plain blue jeans, a faded green t-shirt and scuffed cowboy boots. She noted his hand was calloused when she shook it and his posture indicated he was just as uncomfortable in his surroundings as she was. His brown eyes narrowed at her and he ran a hand roughly through his hair as he looked her up in down and failed to hide his grimace.

  “Lenny, is it?” He asked, his voice edged with annoyance.

  Lenny nodded and smiled, “Or Lenna. It was my grandmother’s name.”

  “We sorta thought you were a guy from your resume.” He waived at the paper on Jerry's desk that she had faxed over that morning. He didn't even try to hide his disappointment as he seated himself again and Lenny heard Jerry sigh in exasperation.

  “Happens all the time,” Lenny tried to reassure him, taking a seat in the chair Jerry offered her. She avoided crossing her legs completely and just crossed her ankles, turning her knees out to the side in the most ladylike posture she could manage.

  The men exchanged glances and both sat down. Lenny got the impression they had already made their decision but were going to go ahead with the interview anyway. She swallowed hard and squared her shoulders.

  “This job might be a little…unconventional for you,” Jerry began, searching for the right words, trying to be delicate. “It’s long days, long nights, hard physical labor and you’d be on the road constantly.” His eyes skittered around his desk and his hands straightened his pen, then his name plate, then his pen again.

  “Is it because I'm a chick?” She asked, seeing the slight break in his serious demeanor and his eyes flicked to Carl.

  Carl slouched back in his chair and rubbed his chin with his fingertips. “No, it's 'cause you're pretty.”

  Lenny felt her mouth tug up slightly on one side. She could see him measuring her, gauging her reaction, testing her. So she remained silent.

  Carl studied her placid silence for a long while. But it was Jerry who asked the next question. “What makes you think that being an assistant is where you'd...fit?”

  “I'm organized, I work hard and I have nothing keeping me in town,” she answered honestly. “I'm not afraid of dirt and sweat and I know I can do the job well.”

  ***

  Carl watched closely as Lenny and Jerry discussed the ins and outs of the job. She was focused on Jerry but her expansive eyes would flit around the room occasionally, as if taking inventory.

  Her resume said she was twenty-five with little to no employment history but she projected a calm self-assurance that hinted at a wisdom that was gained only by experience.

  Jerry seemed flustered at her confidence and Carl could see the interview was getting away from him. The worse he tried to make the job sound, the more interested she became.

  Carl was impressed with her quick thinking and directness. He had been hesitant when she had first entered the room, her obvious beauty could be more of a hindrance to the job than a help. However, she didn't seem to be trying to use any womanly wiles to make the interview go more in her favor.

  Carl sat back in his chair and laced his hands together behind his head. “You realize this isn't a glamorous job?” He interrupted, drawing her gaze to him. “You'll basically be a glorified babysitter. You'll haul their shit, keep track of their schedules and have eyes on them at all times.”

  “Easy as pie.” She didn't break eye contact and he found himself reassured by her self-possession instead of intimidated by it like Jerry had been.

  Carl had actually wanted to avoid hiring a woman if at all possible. Jerry had given him the scripted speech on sexism in the workplace and Carl had finally agreed to hiring an ugly woman...if it came to that. But the young lady sitting before them was the antithesis of ugly.

  He turned his tone severe and his frown deepened, “Make no mistake, I'm not paying you to be their girlfriend. You cannot, under any circumstance, sleep with them. Do you understand?”

  “Loud and clear.” Lenny matched his expression and Carl had to hold back a smile. She was definitely not what he had expected.

  He sighed and ran both hands through his hair while looking up at the ceiling. He chuckled sardonically, “I have no idea why I'm even entertaining the thought of hiring you. You are exactly the kind of girl that can bring this tour crashing down.”

  “Listen, I know I’m a chick and I know I’m not what you expected,” she started, refusing to be deterred, “But I’m stronger than I look and I'm a fast learner. I can do the job and I'll do it well.” She repeated, her jaw flexing lightly under her skin and Carl heard the desperation that she tried to hide in her voice. Why did she need this job so badly?

  He knew Jerry was watching him, waiting for an indication of some kind but he couldn't look away from the determined stare of her midnight blue irises. She was serious, she meant business, and he believed her. Somewhere in her life she had learned to fight for what she wanted.

  When he spoke again his attitude had changed from skeptical to decided. “I've been with these guys for nearly twenty years. They tend to be pretty self-destructive and I need someone on the inside. Not just an assistant. I need someone who can be their best friend but stay loyal to me. They have to trust you, need you and like you. I can't have another tour riddled with scandal and the guys have promised they've changed but...” He rolled his eyes and rubbed his chin dejectedly.

  “They're so stubborn,” he growled, “they keep insisting they don't need an assistant.” He shook his head in frustration. “They have argued with me about it every step of the way. They hate the idea of having someone they haven't picked themselves basically be in charge of their lives for the next six months. They have more trust issues than I do.”

  He sucked air in through his teeth as a fresh thought crossed his mind. His eyes flashed at Lenny and a slow smile spread across his face.

  “What?” Lenny asked apprehensively, her eyes lighting up as she realized that the job was in her reach.

  “I'm gonna stick you on the plane with them tomorrow. Let them think you're another passenger. If you use as much charm on them as you have on us, they'll hire you themselves.”

  “That's pretty sneaky, Carl,” she pointed out, arching one eyebrow at him.

  “I'm out of options, kid. These guys have been the collective pain in my ass ever since I walked into their garage and told them to keep it down. They have so many hoops to jump through, you have no idea.”

  He shook his head and looked over her again. “I like you, Lenny. I almost feel bad asking you if you want the job. It might ruin your life.”

  Carl watched Lenny as she considered all of t
he information. At first glance, with her blonde up-do and flawless skin, he thought she was just another pretty face. But she had a spark in her she couldn't hide. A spunky cockiness that appealed to him.

  She was undoubtedly perfect for this job.

  “You're making a good choice, Carl.” She gave him a half-smile and Carl was surprised at his own sense of relief that flooded his veins.

  For the next twenty minutes the three of them went over the confidentiality agreement and the touring schedule. She signed some paperwork and asked hardly any questions. They all shook hands and she left.

  Carl stared after her, lost in his own musings. He had complete confidence that they had found the ideal person.

  “That was easier than I expected,” Jerry broke into his thoughts. “I wasn’t sure you’d find what you were looking for. Considering...everything.”

  “She’s perfect,” Carl agreed.

  “I sure hope this works out for you. Better than the last tour anyway.”

  “It will,” Carl said matter of fact as he started to gather his things. He couldn't wait to get out of this office and have a cigarette. He hated coming to this building but Jerry insisted they do the interview in his office. Saying something about how Carl's smelled like cigarette butts and coffee.

  “What makes you so sure she won’t run off with one of them and end up in the tabloids?” Jerry attempted to joke.

  “She’s got a brain,” Carl responded. “Besides, she didn’t even ask what band she’s working for. Not once,” He took a breath and picked up his bag, “Whatever she’s looking for, it isn’t fame and drama.”

  ***

  Lenny sat patiently in the plane next to the window. It had been a long time since she had flown anywhere alone and she was kind of excited. She tried to suppress the giddiness in her belly, knowing the plane would take off soon and her new adventure would start. The text message she had sent before boarding had been the final goodbye to be said.