Learn to Fly

by Heidi Hutchinson

“You like Lenny, Luke?” Leave it to Harrison to just be out with it.

  Luke looked up, pretending to be confused, “What? No, of course not.”

  “So you hate her?” Harrison was deliberately trapping him into a confession of some kind.

  “No, I don’t hate her, don’t be ridiculous. She’s nice,” Luke stammered, looking uncomfortable.

  “So you do like her.” Harrison wanted an absolution, his face the picture of innocence.

  “What do you want me to say?” Luke was growing more agitated. “You want me to say I think she’s good looking, she is. You all think so, too. Why does it matter if I say it?”

  “Whoa, dude, relax,” Blake dramatically widened his eyes and motioned with his hands for Luke to calm down, “We’re not the ones in love with her.”

  Luke rolled his eyes and stormed towards the door. “You’re a bunch of dicks, you know that?” He left in a huff as the others burst into laughter.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Sway asked Mike.

  “Ah, he thinks his crush is a big secret.” Mike shrugged nonchalantly.

  “Well, if I’m not allowed to bag her, then I don’t think Luke should be allowed to either.” Sway sat down on the floor.

  “You know you’re a pig, right?” Mike asked him in disgust.

  “A pig that gets more action than you.” Sway pointed out, not even offended.

  “I don’t think we should be talking about who does or does not get to bag Lenny.” Blake interjected from the kitchenette. “I have a feeling she could kick all our asses.”

  “How was it having Lenny on your bus today?” Mike asked. He had wondered what had possessed Carl to throw her into the dog pile like that on her first day.

  “She was cool. Helped me kill some zombies.” Harrison responded, exchanging a look with Blake.

  “What was that?” Mike asked pointing back and forth between them. “Did something happen?”

  “Not exactly.” Harrison said slowly.

  Blake sighed and ran his fingers through his short dark hair, “Sway put the seduction on her.”

  “Dammit, Sway!” Mike chastised.

  “I handled it,” Blake reproved. “I don't think it's going to be an issue.”

  “Can't you ever let one go by?” Mike asked in frustration. He was so sick of Sway never growing up. The endless parade of girls over the years was making it really hard for Mike to respect his band mate.

  And then Mike said what he had said many times before, “You have no self-control.”

  The remorse that washed over Sway's face was sincere and Mike flinched inwardly. They both had things they struggled to master that had hurt those closest to them.

  “I know,” Sway said softly. “I'm still sorry about-”

  “I know. I shouldn't have said that.” The tension in the cabin was thick and Mike regretted having such a strong reaction to Blake's revelation. “We're both trying to be better.”

  ***

  Luke decided to take a walk to clear his head. He knew the guys were just giving him a hard time. What he was really upset about was how much he had let it get to him. Lenny was already a sensitive topic for him and he knew that could get him into trouble.

  Girls had always been a weakness of his. He liked women and they liked him. He never spent enough time with just one to really know what they were all about. The longest relationship he had ever had, he was loaded for the entirety of it. That’s probably why it had lasted as long as it did.

  Why did Carl stick her on the bus with Sway today? It had pissed Luke off more than it should have. Jealousy was a new feeling and he didn't like it. It's not like she was his girl. She worked for the band. She was off limits. Off. Limits.

  He shook his head, trying to focus his thoughts. He couldn’t have a relationship with Lenny. That would be unprofessional. And a disaster. Carl would be pissed. Luke smirked at that. But, she was going to be around them a lot and she was really fun.

  Friends. They could be friends. That would work, he had lots of friends, he knew what a friendship looked like. He would just have to treat her like one of the guys. And ignore the fact that she was his perfect height for kissing. Shit. This was going nowhere fast.

  It suddenly occurred to Luke that he had no idea if Lenny even noticed him in that way. She had remained cool and aloof towards him, and all the guys for that matter. Maybe she wasn’t attracted to him. That was new. Luke had never had to work for a girl to notice him. Chicks constantly threw their bras and panties to him on stage, and once, Carl had had to chase out two girls who'd tried to stow away on the bus. Maybe Lenny was just exactly what she seemed: a hard worker who wasn’t interested in getting tied down in a relationship. Why did that make him want her more? Luke was starting to get mad at himself.

  The real kicker for him wasn't his physical attraction towards her, though it didn't help matters. Nope, that's not what had him confused and upside down. It was the unpredicted avidity to crack open his chest cavity and show her everything. Invite her to climb inside his mess of a life and add some beauty to it.

  He turned back towards the bus; he knew the guys were going to continue giving him a hard time until they got bored with it. He would just have to ride it out until then. And hope he didn't screw everything up in the process. They were depending on him.

  “Were you with your girlfriend?” Blake lilted.

  “Go to hell.” Luke tried to play it casual.

  Carl stuck his head in the bus, “Ten minutes.”

  They started to the stage area, all of them feeling the energy of the crowd beating in their chests. It reminded them all of why they were really there, the exhilaration of playing a live show. They loved the fans and the excitement. They’d been playing together for so long it was nearly effortless.

  When they took the stage the arena went wild. The time always seemed to pass too quickly. From the first note to the last, they continuously gave it everything they had, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to live their dreams without the fans making it possible.

  They constantly left it all on the stage, returning to the buses completely exhausted. All worry and speculation about any subject matter disappeared; they just focused on rocking their fans' faces off. And they never disappointed.

  Chapter 3

  Best of You

  meet me in the mountains

  under a star filled sky

  build me a fire out of ashes

  teach me how to fly

  -excerpt from Lenny's journal

  Lenny hadn't slept in almost two years. Not really. She could lay down and stare at the dark and hope and pray to slip into peaceful oblivion, but it wouldn't happen.

  She would have little bouts of sleep, but nothing solid to cling to, nothing that felt like the sleep she remembered from days long ago. It would usually start with the muscle aches, followed by the vivid nightmare replay. Some images never seemed to fade, especially with a photographic memory, and they were in perfect, crystal clear reception when she was alone in her bunk. The traumatic betrayal that left her empty, the physical pain that ripped through her body as her dreams fell apart around her, the gruesome incompetence to stop or change any of the events as she watched them replay again and again. The end always resulted with the perfunctory long-standing headache.

  She was a pro at hiding the dark circles under her eyes with special concealer and acting like being a morning person was just who she was. She knew that Carl believed that she took coffee intravenously, and she couldn't deny that it would make the consumption of required caffeine that much easier.

  Her inability to sleep came in quite handy for her new job. Everyone thought she was the first one awake. Nope, she was just up. All the time.

  Lenny sighed as she paid for the hot, black beverage at the counter in the roadside diner. Yep, another exhausting day. At least Carl loved coffee as much as she did. She smirked as as she grabbed his to-go cup. If only he knew what a pusher she felt like every time she handed him his c
up.

  ***

  Trust. Trust was a big deal to Carl. It usually took years of knowing him to earn it. Two weeks into the tour and Carl knew he trusted Lenny beyond the reasonable.

  She didn't just do what was expected, she rose above expectation. She inexplicably knew everything about everyone's station. She could fill in at a moment's notice. She was everywhere at once, solving problems before Carl knew they ever existed. And she did all of it with a smile.

  Professional barely covered it. The entire tour ran on her timetable, which happened to be more efficient than Carl's. He got more than an assistant out of hiring Lenny. If Carl was the ruthless sea captain, then Lenny was his devoted first officer. And the crew was loyal to her. Probably to the death.

  He was starting to wonder how he had done this for nearly twenty years without her. Gone were the days of wild parties, coked out musicians, and random girls filing on and off the buses. She kept the buses clean of any contraband and shooed groupies away. Carl finally slept easily at night and as a pleasant result, his acid reflux was under control.

  He knew he should give credit to the band for the lifestyle overhaul they'd promised from the beginning, but Carl chose to believe that none of this would be possible without Lenny. She was his right hand. If Carl was the Emperor, then Lenny was Darth Vader.

  It was possible that the power was going to Carl's head.

  He still didn't know what she had so readily left behind the day he hired her. He kind of didn't care. Whoever, or whatever, had chased her away was a fool, and he was reaping the benefits of that mistake. All he had to do was keep her happy and his life was smooth sailing.

  He rotated which bus she rode on daily, sometimes hourly. However, he still preferred to have her ride the Crew bus overnights. No reason to play with fire.

  No complaints had been uttered. The guys enjoyed having Lenny around, and Carl knew they didn't want to screw it up. Having a woman of Lenny's character on the tour had softened things considerably, to the point where even the hardest of roadies watched their behavior around her.

  Carl couldn't blame them, she had a charm and exuberance that was contagious. He looked forward to her bringing coffee to him every morning. He never made that part of her duties, but he believed she did it out of the kindness of her heart.

  That’s where he was waiting when she came to him with a frown.

  “What’s up?” Carl asked, trying not to sound concerned.

  Lenny handed him his coffee and shook her head. “The new opening act is a bunch of dicks,” she growled.

  Carl laughed out loud; Lenny never talked negatively about anyone. Even so, he knew what she meant. A new band had opened up for them last night and would be traveling with them for a short leg of the tour, six shows altogether. They were young, immature, and hard-headed. They had their own set of rules that they lived by. They thought they were punk rockers, but they seemed to care an awful lot about making sure they looked like punk rockers.

  “Just a week and they’ll be outta your hair.” Carl said, taking a sip of his coffee.

  “I hope I can make it a week.” Lenny grunted. “If that skinny asshat hits on me one more time, I’m gonna punch him in the neck...accidentally. ”

  Carl choked on his coffee. Lenny smirked at his sputtering. When he recovered he cautioned, “Just stay away from them. The label wants them to get some exposure. They’ll burn out soon enough.”

  “What kind of a name is Juniper Highlights anyway? They think they're so tough. I bet I could make ‘em cry in under five minutes.” Lenny huffed under her breath and then shook off her bad mood. “We still gonna make good time with all the extra stops?”

  Carl pursed his lips, “Yeah, for the most part.” He grimaced as he thought about the time being wasted on friggin' bathroom breaks. “That's the last time Sway buys tacos out of some guy's trunk.”

  Lenny tried to hide her smirk behind her cup but Carl caught it anyway.

  “I know, you think it's funny.”

  “It is funny!” Lenny grinned at him. “And it's really not Sway's fault. I mean, that Hibachi looked clean to me.”

  Carl rolled his eyes. “Well then, no more Mexican food on the road. We can't keep stopping every time he's gotta take a dump.”

  “Gross, Carl,” Lenny pretended to look disgusted. “He's just following the rules.” She raised her eyebrows at him and he said the rule out loud with her:

  “No number two on the bus.”

  “That should've been the name of the tour.” Carl muttered under his breath.

  Lenny chuckled at his orneriness. “Hey, day off tomorrow, what’s the plan?”

  Carl considered before replying, “I was thinking about giving you the day off, too.” He raised an eyebrow and gave her a knowing look.

  “You mean, tell everyone I have the day off and then sneak around to see if they try to get into any trouble?” Lenny translated for him.

  “Yeah, pretty much.” Carl nodded.

  “Sounds like a good idea. I think the guys are getting sick of me playing Mother Hen. It might be better for me to lay low for a day.”

  “They’re not sick of you, they love you. Everyone does.” Carl told her seriously.

  Lenny avoided his stern look and gave him her now famous half-smirk, did her trademark move of slamming her coffee and got ready to get back to work. Carl knew it was her exit strategy for when things started to get too personal for her. She was really good at protecting herself, but he was getting to know her despite it. She didn't really allow compliments for herself. She'd get a flicker in her eye and immediately end the conversation. Just like now.

  “Time to get back to work, Boss Man.” She strode to the end bus to start her rounds, her golden hair reflecting the rising sun and bouncing the color off the shiny chrome. Carl took another sip of his coffee as he watched her depart. Damn, but that girl knew how to find good coffee.

  “Hey!” Carl called after her, “Blue Bus today!” She waved her hand at him over her shoulder in acknowledgment.

  ***

  Lenny knocked on the Red Bus’s door and waited for a few seconds before boarding the bus. She liked to give a small warning before entering because a couple of days ago she discovered how much Sway liked to walk around in the nude. Growing up with three brothers it wasn't anything shocking for Lenny. But Sway had actually been kind of embarrassed. Which had been pretty adorable.

  The guys were sitting in the main living space with guitars and papers spread all around them. They looked up in unison as Lenny entered the room.

  “How you feeling Sway?” Lenny asked the bassist.

  He rubbed his belly and made a sad face, “Now that I've shit out half my intestines I feel a little better.”

  “Nice.” Lenny shook her head. “Well, Carl says no more Mexican food on the road.”

  “Agreed,” Blake and Harrison replied as one.

  “You ready to hit the road?” She asked as she inspected their refrigerator and bathroom supplies.

  “Who are you riding with today?” Blake asked curiously.

  “Blue Bus today. Hopefully it'll be less stinky.” She teased, waving her hand in front of her face. Sway looked apologetic and Lenny grinned at him. “Don't feel bad, we've all been there.”

  “Hey, what’s the plan for the day off tomorrow?” Harrison seemed hesitant to ask. His large brown eyes looking anywhere but directly at Lenny.

  “Um, let’s see,” Lenny said, pretending to think about it. “A whole day off in Virginia Beach…I think I might actually go to the beach.” She laughed at their silent faces. “What? Carl said I could have the day off, too.”

  “Cool. We were just talking about…how you needed a day off.” Harrison quickly covered as Blake gave him a stern look.

  “Sure ya were.” Lenny smirked, “I know, I’ve been in your hair a lot. You need a break, I get it.” She smiled at their protesting faces but didn't leave room for discussion. “It’s cool, I totally understand. I’ll see you late
r,” she waved as she left the bus.

  Lenny’s next stop was the Blue Bus with Mike and Luke. It was her favorite stop of the day, that’s why she usually saved it for last. And today was even better because she would be getting to stay.

  Lenny tried to stifle the spark of excitement that was bouncing around in her belly. She knocked and paused. She hadn't had any indecent accidents on this bus like the other one but she decided that she really couldn't be too careful. Besides, Luke Casey naked was not an image she really needed to have in her head forever. Unfortunately. That would make working for him that much harder.

  Making her way into the living space she could see Mike sleeping on the sofa, looked like he’d been there all night. Empty water bottles and candy wrappers littered the floor. Automatically, she started to pick up the garbage and throw it away. Luke came out of the bathroom, having just showered, with a towel slung low on his hips.

  “Why is Mike sleeping on the couch? You guys have a fight?” She quipped, refusing to look up, knowing she wouldn’t be able to keep herself from staring at Luke’s perfectly sculpted chest and abs. Freaking Adonis.

  Luke retreated to the back room to put clothes on. When he reemerged he was wearing faded jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair still wet and messy from the shower. He had started to grow some scruff on his face a few days ago and hadn’t shaved it. But it looked good on him. Made him look older. He stepped towards Lenny and took the now full trash bag from her hands to tie it closed.

  “He was watching a movie last night and decided to sleep out here,” he explained in a hushed voice. He was standing close to Lenny so that she could hear him and she could smell the fresh shampoo from his shower and his minty breath. Suddenly, she was very aware of her coffee breath and took a step back. She smiled casually, ignoring the flush she felt creeping up her neck, and opened the refrigerator to give it a quick scan.