Learn to Fly

by Heidi Hutchinson

  Suddenly the door opened and Sway hauled him inside.

  “What the hell?” Sway was angry, Luke could tell and it cracked him up. He laughed loudly at Sway's cranky expression.

  “Where have you been?” Sway demanded as Luke stumbled and then fell in the living room.

  “I went out,” Luke slurred and tried to stand up again.

  ***

  Sway stared at him, in complete shock. Luke hadn’t gotten drunk in years. This was so unlike him. This was the old Luke. The Luke none of them could stand.

  “You smell like the perfume counter at Macy’s,” Sway accused.

  “Yeah,” Luke laughed as he found a seat on the couch, “Girls like me.”

  “You’re joking, right?” Sway was beyond disappointed. Luke looked like hell. His clothes were all a mess and his shirt was barely buttoned. Sway had had enough.

  “You’re an asshole!” He shouted at Luke. Luke winced but didn’t say anything. “You’re in love with Lenny! What have you done?!”

  Luke stood up angrily. “She left me, Sway! She left me!” Luke shouted back.

  “So that makes it okay to screw some nobody!” Sway was shaking with fury.

  “No!” Luke was shaking his head in protest, confused by his own foggy memories and his overwhelming grief. “I just bought some drinks. I didn’t…” His voice faltered, too drunk to think clearly. “I didn’t want to be alone…” He collapsed back onto the sofa and hung his head.

  “It’s just as well she left,” Sway said sharply, “You never deserved her.” He slammed the door to his bedroom, leaving Luke alone in the dark.

  Chapter 20

  Learn To Fly

  Blake had gone down to the corner store to get a few things. Nothing crucial; fresh produce and some milk. He carried his basket to the counter and waited patiently in line. His eyes casually browsed the tabloid covers, just like anyone else would. He paused on one in particular. He blinked his eyes hard and squinted, thinking he was seeing things. He grabbed the magazine off the rack and stuck it in his basket. He kept his face stoic as he paid for his items and left.

  In the elevator ride up to his loft, Blake pulled the magazine out and studied the cover again. He hadn’t been seeing things. It was a picture of Luke making out with some chick. The headline read: LUKE CASEY CAUGHT CHEATING! LENNA HUMILIATED AND IN HIDING!

  Blake stepped out of the elevator and quickly opened the door to his loft. He set his purchases down on the counter and opened the cheaply printed multicolored pages. Normally, he would never even look at these types of stories. They were always false and misleading, designed to cause trouble. But the sickening feeling in Blake’s stomach forced him to look at the rest of the photos.

  The magazine had a full spread on Luke’s indiscretions. He was pictured sitting in a bar with an unknown girl on his lap. His shirt was unbuttoned and her hands were all over his chest. The article quoted eye witnesses as describing Luke to be “very drunk” and “making out and dancing with several women all night long.”

  Blake ground his teeth together. This was a local, overnight publication, meaning that the events had happened within the past twenty-four hours and usually within the city limits. But it would go national in a few days. Lenny would see it eventually. That was it. Blake knew, Luke had lost her forever.

  ***

  Luke climbed out of unconsciousness in the spare room of Sway’s apartment, his head throbbing. He sat up slowly and winced at the added pain from the minimal effort. He rested his head in his hands as he swung his legs to the floor, trying to clear the fog that had built up in his mind. He couldn’t remember anything from last night but he knew he felt terrible.

  His stomach felt like he had swallowed pure acid and he wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up or not. He hadn’t been this hung over in a very long time. He looked down at the clothes he was still wearing from the night before and flashes of memory fired through his brain but he couldn't tell what was real and what had been a dream.

  He stood up and made his way to the bathroom for a hot shower. As the the steam swirled around him, he tried to focus his thoughts, deciphering reality from nightmare. He had gone to a bar. He kind of remembered Sway being pissed at him when he came home.

  He got out of the shower and dried himself off, no better than when he had woken up. He was getting dressed when Sway started yelling at him to come out into the living room.

  “What’s up man?” Luke wasn’t sure if this was just a continuation of their fight from last night or if this was something new. He really wished he could remember more.

  Sway threw a cheap magazine on the table and Luke was even more confused than he had been a moment ago.

  “You can’t stay here.” Sway said calmly, his jaw working under his skin. “Not if you’re gonna live like this.”

  Luke frowned and walked over to the tabloid, squinting at the cover. His eyes widened and he flipped to the inside. His stomach lurched and bile rose in his esophagus as he was confronted with the decisions he’d made the night before. The memories came back in a blurry rush and he staggered to the sofa to sit down, unable to speak.

  “Does this mean you don’t want Lenny anymore?” Sway asked, his face flat and emotionless.

  Luke looked around, trying to get his bearings. That’s not what he had wanted at all. He just wanted to feel differently than how he’d been feeling. He looked back at the photos with sudden realization, he didn’t want her to see these.

  He quickly pulled out his phone and checked his call history. He had called her last night. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate but he couldn’t remember what they had talked about. He looked up at Sway with desperation.

  “No,” his voice cracked, “She’s the only one I want.”

  Sway shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.

  “Did you sleep with any of those girls?“ Sway asked, his face cold and dispassionate.

  The memories were muddy but he could almost put them in order now.

  “No. I came straight home from the bar, alone.” Luke was positive of that. It didn’t matter how drunk he had gotten, his goal hadn’t been to get laid.

  Sway sighed and paced across the living room a few times. “I don’t know how you’re gonna fix it. You know she’s gonna see this eventually.”

  Luke thought he had reached the lowest point in his emotional fortitude the day before. But this was a whole new level of loss. How was he ever going to get her back now? She was so much better than his behavior dictated. She deserved better than him, no wonder she had left.

  Why had he been so determined to prove that he didn't need her? At this point, when he realized what a life without her actually looked like, he knew what kind of a moron he really was. The worst kind.

  He'd regressed to old habits to ease his pain and in doing so may have destroyed any opportunity to get back the one woman that mattered to him.

  “Maybe…” Sway began and Luke looked up at him, hope making a tentative step back into his heart. “I might have an idea…” Sway grimaced at him. “But let's be clear about something, I am not pleased with your actions. You've really messed up this time.” Luke nodded in agreement. “But you've bailed all of us out at one time or another, the least we can do is help you pull your head out of your ass.” He sighed with disappointment and ran his hand through his hair, “We have to have a family meeting.”

  ***

  Lenny awoke with a smile. The skies were clear and powder was waiting. She dressed quickly and quietly in the early morning, careful not to wake Shelby Lynn who had gone to bed far too late. All that flirting with Travis Jenkins, Lenny snickered to herself.

  She practically ran to the Lodge for breakfast. She yanked open the door and was greeted with the smell of pancakes and bacon, her stomach growled in happy anticipation.

  Ben and Serge waved to her from a table near the back and she joined them. Taking off her coat and hanging it on the back of her chair, she sat dow
n across from Serge and next to Ben.

  “Good morning!” She greeted as she poured herself a steaming cup of coffee from the pot on the table.

  “You’re in a good mood this morning,” Ben noticed out loud.

  “Uh, duh. I’m in freaking Alaska,” Lenny deadpanned. Serge chuckled softly at her.

  “Here, fill up.” Ben passed her a platter of food and she gladly dug in.

  “Nick is gonna take us out for a test run first,” Serge said. “Then we’ll meet up with the others at their chosen location.”

  Lenny circled the table with her finger, “Just us?”

  Serge nodded but didn't pause in eating.

  “You think you can hang with the big dogs?” Ben teased from next to her.

  “Do you?” Lenny countered with one eyebrow up, taking another bite of pancakes. She really enjoyed how being at a higher altitude meant you could eat more calories.

  “Smitty is teaching the kids how to build a jump out of nothing,” Ben added.

  “Nice. I hope they give me a crack at it. I haven’t gotten a chance to run one of Smitty’s kickers in a long time,” Lenny said thoughtfully.

  “Remember when Duke wrecked last time you were here?” Serge mentioned with a smirk.

  “Gosh, yes! I thought he was gonna kill himself that trip.” Lenny shook her head at the memory.

  “I woulda done it too had I known that you were playing nurse that weekend.” Ben laughed and winked at Lenny.

  “What?” Lenny smiled, confused.

  “Well, it was obvious that Duke was being more reckless to get your attention. We assumed it was because he got to spend more one on one time with you.”

  “Oh ,stop,” Lenny made a face. She knew Duke had feelings for her but it was a shock to find out that everyone else knew before she did. What else didn't she know?

  “Yeah, he threatened all of us to back off.” Ben laughed at Lenny’s face.

  “Don’t worry, Lenny,” Serge said seriously, “If anyone wrecks this week, I’ll play nurse.”

  Lenny laughed at Serge’s dry humor. She knew he sensed her awkwardness at this particular topic and she was thankful for his appropriately timed joke.

  “Can I join you guys?”

  Lenny looked up to see Shane standing at the vacant chair. He was addressing Lenny specifically. His unflinching eye contact made her heart skip momentarily.

  “I don’t mind.” Lenny responded with a casual smile and then looked back to her food. That was weird. She was not going to let him get under her skin.

  Shane took a seat and began filling his plate. The table was quiet for a few minutes and Lenny couldn’t help but feel responsible for that. She was the one who had aired Shane’s horrible transgressions to the entire world. And these had been his comrades, his teammates. They shouldn’t have had to choose sides in a personal problem that was between Lenny, Shane and Cody.

  “Are you coming with us in the heli, Shane?” Lenny asked awkwardly. She’d just a soon put the past behind them. If that meant she had to be the bigger person, than so be it.

  “Yeah, Nick asked me if I’d go so he could help Smitty with the jump.” Shane kept his face flat and didn’t look up from his food. “If that’s okay with you, that is,” he added at the end.

  Lenny swallowed as Ben and Serge looked at her for a response.

  “Of course. We’re all here for the same reasons, right?” She smiled nervously. “To get some good vertical rides in?”

  Serge nodded his approval and went back to eating. Ben studied Lenny’s face longer than she was comfortable with and she started to chew on the inside of her cheek.

  Shane didn’t respond at all. He poured himself a cup of coffee and continued eating. Lenny suddenly felt bad about what she had done to him a few weeks back. This man at the table was not the same flashy, egocentric playboy she had spent so much time hating. This was all new territory.

  Before long, they were waiting outside for the helicopter pilot, Jack. They had their gear ready and Lenny could feel her pulse quicken. Being taken to a high peak and dropped off by a helicopter was one of her favorite experiences. Nothing compared. Well, maybe kissing Luke. Lenny tried to shake that thought off as quickly as it had crept up on her.

  The heli started to get warmed up and they loaded their gear inside. Soon they were cleared to board and take off. The scenery of the Alaskan mountains was breathtaking. Serge spoke with the pilot and they scouted out a stately peak. All the passengers disembarked onto the snowy top and watched the heli fly away.

  Lenny pulled her hat a little lower on her ears as the wind whipped past her face. She was terrified and excited at the same time. Duke would have never allowed her to get to a height of this kind. He had always restricted how much alone time she spent with Serge. He was afraid Serge was a bad influence on Lenny’s fearlessness and would encourage her to be more risky than was necessary. Lenny felt like a rebellious teenager hanging out with the ‘bad boy’ in home room. She looked at Serge, he was all business. This kind of extreme was why he had made the trip to begin with.

  “Who wants to go first?” Serge asked the group of them after the helicopter had gotten far enough away to hear each other.

  Ben looked more nervous than Lenny had ever seen him. Shane was too. Serge seemed to be the only one ready for a ride of this magnitude.

  “I’ll go first.” Lenny found herself volunteering. Her heart was stuck in her throat. She liked to be first to descend for a lot of reasons. The main one being to pick your own line without anyone’s influence. But the added bonus of looking like a badass in front the boys was cool too.

  She couldn’t see Serge’s expression behind his goggles and face mask but his approval was apparent in his posture.

  “That’s insane!” Ben protested. “You haven’t dropped a line in too long to be the first at this height.” He took a step to get in front of Lenny to stop her.

  Shane put in arm up, pushing Ben back slightly. Ben frowned at him, perplexed.

  “Dude. She’s got this.” Shane said confidently.

  Lenny looked up , surprised at Shane’s sudden support. He was looking at her with different eyes. She had noticed something strange the first night at camp but couldn’t quite place it. He was avoiding direct eye contact most of the time anyway. But not now. Now, he was looking at Lenny with eyes of a man who had too many regrets and had decided to do something about it.

  “You're kidding, right?” Ben was incredulous.

  Shane kept his eyes on Lenny as he answered calmly. “She’s gonna be just fine, Calloway. She’s the best.” He said it without a hint of sarcasm and Lenny tried to downplay the shock that ripped through her.

  Ben shook his head like he thought Shane had lost his mind, Lenny knew how he felt. But she wasn't going to let anyone else know that.

  “Why’d you come up here if you didn’t want to play?” Lenny teased. The adrenaline was starting to kick into high gear.

  “I just don’t think you should go first.” Ben grumbled when it was obvious he had lost the argument.

  Serge stood back, completely relaxed, waiting for the squabble to clear. Lenny envied his cool focus.

  She dug out her chute and fastened her binders. She grinned at the guys and lowered her goggles, giving a final dramatic salute for beginning her decent.

  She started out slowly on her vertical. The angle was steep, probably fifty degrees or more. She was careful, feeling her way as she went. She didn’t want to jump past the hard parts and fly to the end. She wanted to enjoy this, every death defying, exhilarating moment.

  Interestingly enough, a drum beat started to resonate in her head. It was the opening song for Double Blind Study on the tour. She didn’t feel sad or weird, it felt good. And motivating. As her board started it’s expert curve down the extreme slope she heard the guitar riff join in and her heartbeat quickened.

  The sky was an overwhelming blue. Deep and clear at the same time. The white landscape was bare and open, waiti
ng for her to carve a line right through it. She bent and twisted, feeling the fresh powder cave and respond, propelling her forward. She would speed up and then slow down, controlling her movements, controlling her momentum.

  Lenny was flying. She hadn’t felt freedom like this in a long time. Far longer than she cared to think about. The air was as clean and pristine as the snow she was slashing in. Her line curved and arced, throwing clouds of powder around her. Creating a beautiful effect for her brilliant blue riding suit to burst through.

  ***

  Shane felt a grin spread across his face behind his mask. He knew she would be fine. He watched in appreciation. He knew Lenny was good. He had just never realized how good. It was like the mountain belonged to her and changed to make her path possible.

  “Alright, Calloway,” Serge said from behind him and clapped his hand on the kid's shoulder, “You’re up.”

  Ben nodded but he was still pretty nervous.

  “You got this, kid.” Shane said with a pat on the shoulder. “You can follow Lenny’s line all the way down, she’s not as crazy as Duke.”

  Shane waited till Ben got started and then he turned to Serge.

  “I assume you’ll be last.” He nodded at the composed Norwegian. Serge stepped aside in answer, giving Shane room to pick a chute.

  In the past, Shane would have never taken this trip. He had always preferred to ride maintained parks and pipes. Back country riding scared him beyond belief. But after losing Lenny permanently and than having his idiocy thrown around the media, he realized that even playing it safe, you can make a mess.

  He started small, little trips to the unpopulated runs, trying out fresh powder and learning the feel of riding untamed terrain. It didn’t take long for him to get hooked. And when Federa invited him to come to Alaska, he jumped at the chance. This was his largest descent as well but he wasn’t scared of the ride. The thing that scared Shane was dressed in blue and coming to a stop at the bottom of the mountain.