The Man Who Has No Sight (Soulless Book 4)
Page 3
“Yes.”
The anger rose again.
“She’ll always be there, Valerie. I understand it must hurt to see me love another woman, when that was what you wanted from me for five years. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I really am. But this is how it’s going to be. It doesn’t mean you and I can’t have a relationship of our own, something special to you and me since we made Derek together. It doesn’t mean we can’t still be a family. I’d really like it if the three of us could find a way to be a family.”
“Holidays are for family, and she’s not family.”
“She’s just as much family to me as Derek and Tucker are.” I held my ground, refused to cave, refused to pretend Cleo wasn’t my whole world just to placate Valerie. “And someday…I’ll probably marry her.”
Her eyes narrowed farther, like I’d slashed her with a knife.
“I shouldn’t have lied about how I felt about her from the beginning. Because I’ve been in love with her…for a very long time.” These were my terms, and they wouldn’t change. She either accepted them…or she didn’t. “I don’t say this to hurt you, but for you to understand. She and I will probably have a family since she told me that’s important to her. We’re going to move forward in life. I’d really like it if you and Derek could move forward with us, because I still consider you to be family.” She still had my last name because she’d never changed it. She was my wife for many years, even though I hardly liked her most of the time. But I was willing to try, over and over, for us to have a good relationship for the sake of our son. Anything else was a terrible example for Derek.
Like a stone statue, she was silent.
I tried my best to convince her, not to feed her ego false hope so she would come. Because that approach would only have short-term benefits. I was looking for the long-term, the long haul. I wanted Valerie to accept Cleo…and move forward.
But that didn’t seem possible.
I officially gave up. I turned away. “You know where to find me.”
Three
Deacon
I woke up early on Thanksgiving morning because I had a long list of things to do.
Since my week had been so shitty, I hadn’t been in the mood for sex. I slept alone. Cleo slept in her bedroom.
My lack of libido had nothing to do with her. I was just too pissed off to feel anything like desire, and forcing it seemed like an insult. But Cleo knew me so well that she didn’t try to make anything happen.
It was the first time I’d cooked a Thanksgiving meal by myself, because I usually had Valerie for help.
It was also the first Thanksgiving without Derek…
The thought made me still in the kitchen, take a deep breath, and feel that drop of pain all the way to my feet. It took me a few seconds to process the hurt, to accept it, and to keep moving.
I was fucking devastated.
All I wanted was to spend time with my son, but no amount of money or success could give me the one thing I actually wanted.
I made a pot of coffee but was eager to have a beer instead. I restrained myself and preheated the oven before I started to prepare the turkey.
Cleo walked in a moment later, her eyes heavy with sleep, her hair in a ponytail, accentuating her features. She stretched her arms over her head and yanked, her short tank top revealing her flat stomach. She was in purple silk shorts, showing off her incredible legs.
I didn’t sleep with her, but I was definitely attracted to her.
She grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee before she took a sip. “How can I help?”
“You don’t need to help, baby. You can go back to sleep.”
“Come on, I know you’re a genius, but no one can prepare a Thanksgiving feast alone.” She went to the fridge and took out ingredients, laying everything out on the kitchen island. “I’ll do the stuffing. That’s going to take a while. Good thing you have two ovens.”
Now that she was there, I didn’t send her away. It was better to have company anyway.
We were both showered and dressed for the occasion, and I pulled the turkey out to make sure it was brown on the outside and tender on the inside. The rest of the hot sides were wrapped in foil on the servingware Cleo had picked out.
Cleo set the dining table, transforming it into a formal dining experience with the tablecloth, centerpieces, and splashes of orange and brown. She placed the silverware on the cloth napkins and came back to me. “Table is ready, and the food looks good.”
“Yeah. We make a good team.”
She smiled at me.
I grabbed the knife and carved part of the turkey, so we didn’t have to waste time doing it later.
She watched me, her arms crossed over her chest.
I set down the knife and fork, picking up on her energy, knowing she wanted all of my attention.
She looked down for a moment, her olive-green sweater a stunning color with her brown hair and beautiful complexion. Her long hair was in spiral curls, and she wore black jeans with brown boots. “I know today is hard for you, given the circumstances. But I want you to know… It’s the best Thanksgiving I’ve had…in a really long time.” She couldn’t look at me as she said it, like she was embarrassed. “It’s just… It’s nice to have someone.”
I’d been so busy thinking about my painful relationship with Valerie that I didn’t really think about Cleo at all. I let it consume me completely instead of appreciating the fact that she was in my life, that I woke up to her in my condo, that we were together after all that time apart. “I’m grateful for a lot of things this year, but I’m grateful for you the most.” I couldn’t carry the guilt of losing Derek anymore, because I did everything I possibly could to be in his life. I was a good person, a selfless person, and I deserved to be happy. I deserved to feel that…especially now. I moved into her, wrapped my arms around her waist, and pressed my forehead to hers. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately…”
Her hands moved to my biceps, and she stared at my lips. “It’s okay, Deacon. I understand. I don’t care how distant you are…because we’re still together.” She rose up slightly so she could kiss me on the mouth.
I kissed her back, feeling that spark ignite between our lips instantly. My hand cupped her cheek and moved her hair from her face, examining her for the first time that week, really looking at her, really appreciating her. “I love you.” Other than Derek, she was the person I loved most in this world, and I shouldn’t forget that.
“I love you too.”
The doorbell rang.
I sighed as I looked at her, wishing we had more time.
“They’ve got to leave sometime, right?” she whispered.
I kissed her on the forehead before I moved to the door. I opened it, seeing my mom on the other side.
“Happy Thanksgiving!” She stepped into my arms and hugged me tightly. “Isn’t it a beautiful day? The snow stopped, and it’s so clear.” She kissed me on the cheek before she moved to Cleo next. “Happy Thanksgiving, sweetheart.” She hugged her tightly, treating her exactly the way she treated me.
Tucker came a second later, like he’d been right behind Mom in a different elevator. “Happy Thanksgiving, asshole.” He embraced me with a hug and patted me on the back. “Damn, that smells good.” He pulled away and held up a bottle of wine. “Pria made me bring this.”
I took it with a slight smirk. “Good. She’s teaching you manners.” I turned to Pria next and hugged her, even though I really didn’t know her that well. “Happy Thanksgiving. And thank you for the wine.”
“You’re welcome,” she said. “Your brother is like an old dog that can’t learn new tricks, but I won’t give up on him.”
“Thank you. You’re doing humankind a service.” I shut the door behind her.
“Happy Thanksgiving.” Tucker hugged Cleo tightly. “Please tell me Deacon didn’t make us fish stew or something.”
She chuckled. “No. A very traditional meal.” She hugged Pria next. “Hey, girl. How are
you?”
That was everybody, so I walked away from the door. “Food is hot, so we should—”
The doorbell rang twice in a row.
I stilled and turned back around.
“Is anyone else coming?” Mom asked.
My heart gave a jolt in hope, but I knew it was stupid, unrealistic. It was probably a delivery or someone who got the wrong condo. I didn’t even bother checking the peephole before I opened it.
Valerie stood there with a bottle of wine, wearing an uneasy look, like she had no clue if this idea would blow up in her face.
Derek immediately ran into my legs. “Happy Thanksgiving, Dad!”
I was so surprised I hardly reacted, my hand instinctively moving to his hair with my eyes still on Valerie. “Happy Thanksgiving…”
He moved farther into the room, and the first person he went for was Cleo. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
She kneeled and wrapped her arms around him, embracing him with palpable love in her eyes. “Happy Thanksgiving, Derek.” She hugged him tightly and didn’t let go, her chin resting on his head.
I turned back to Valerie, unable to speak because this felt like a dream.
“Is it okay if we join you?” she whispered. “Changed my mind at the last minute…”
I was so thrilled to have Derek there, that her venom hadn’t lasted long, that I pulled her into my chest and hugged her. “You guys are always welcome here.” I squeezed her hard before I released her. “And thank you for…the wine.” I took it from her hands.
She gave me a slight smile before she stepped farther inside and looked at everyone.
Derek just finished greeting Tucker and my mother. “When do we eat pie?”
Cleo chuckled. “After dinner.”
“But it’s the holidays,” Derek said. “Can’t we do whatever we want?”
I walked to him and kneeled, wanting to give him a proper hug since I’d been too stunned to greet him before. I pulled him into my chest and buried my face in his thick hair. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
“Me too, Dad.”
I pulled back and rose to my feet.
Valerie walked right past Cleo, ignored her, and greeted Tucker and Pria.
Pria hugged her, but Tucker couldn’t bring himself to do it, so he shook her hand.
Valerie moved to my mother instead. “Hello, Mrs. Hamilton. Nice to see you again.”
I gave my mom a plea with my gaze, asking her to be civil, because being difficult would only affect my relationship with Derek.
She did as I asked and quickly covered the displeasure on her face with a smile. “It’s so lovely to see you, dear. You look lovely.”
“Thank you,” Valerie said. “You do too.”
Derek moved to the table and climbed onto his usual chair. “So, what kind of pie is there? Chocolate?”
Cleo came up behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder. “We’ve got pumpkin and apple.”
He cringed. “I don’t like apple. But pumpkin is good.”
“Alright.” She headed into the kitchen. “After dinner.”
Valerie took the seat beside Derek.
Tucker sat at the head of the table with Pria on his right, my mom on his left.
I went into the kitchen and helped Cleo put all the food on the table.
“Wow, this looks amazing,” Mom said. “I’ve definitely retired from the holiday cooking.”
When everything was set, I sat at the other head of the table across from Tucker, and Cleo sat beside me, across from Derek.
Tucker examined everything. “Ooh, there will definitely be leftovers.”
“Should we say grace?” Mom asked. “Deacon?”
I wasn’t a religious person, but my mother was, so I just did as she asked. We all held hands, and I said a few words. “Heavenly father, thank you for the meal you’ve blessed us with, as well as bringing us all together…as a family. Amen.”
“Let’s go around and say what we’re thankful for.” We were finished with the meal, so we picked at the last few rolls even though we were stuffed, and Tucker, Cleo, and Derek had slices of pie with whipped cream on top. “I’ll go first,” my mom said. “I’m thankful that my family is together on this special day, and I’m thankful my sons have found two wonderful women to make this day even more special.”
Valerie kept her head down and picked at her roll.
Mom turned to her. “Let’s go clockwise.”
Valerie was quiet for a while, as if she didn’t know what to say. “I’m thankful for…everything.” That was all she said.
I turned to Derek. “What about you, little man?”
“This pie.” He talked with his mouth full.
I grabbed the napkin, wiped his face, and then pulled the fork out of his hand. “Don’t talk with your mouth full. Wipe your face with your napkin because it’s rude to have food on your face. And being thankful for pie is not an acceptable answer.” I didn’t care if it was Thanksgiving, Christmas, or his birthday, I expected him to always behave to a certain standard. Every time I got him back from Valerie, I had to start all over.
Cleo muffled her chuckle, but unfortunately, it was still audible.
Derek rolled his eyes.
“Roll your eyes again, and you’ll spend the rest of the evening in your bedroom.”
Derek didn’t test my patience again. “I’m thankful for…my school. I really like my teacher and my friends. I’m thankful that Mom and Dad live so close to each other, so I can see them both all the time. I’m thankful Grandma is here. I just wish Grandpa was too. And I’m thankful Cleo is back…because she’s my friend.”
Valerie immediately soured at that last part.
I patted him on the shoulder. “That’s better.”
“Deacon?” Mom asked.
My answer was pretty straightforward. “I’m thankful that we’re all together right now, that both Valerie and Derek are sitting at this table.” I turned to Cleo. “And that I have someone in my life who understands how important that is to me.”
Cleo only gave me a subtle smile, like she knew I’d probably say a lot more than that if I could. “I’m thankful that I get to spend Thanksgiving with all of you, because I usually spend it alone. It’s so nice to be surrounded by wonderful people…who make me feel like I belong.”
My mom’s eyes softened. Even Tucker’s did.
Valerie continued to pick at her bread.
Pria went next. “I’m thankful I found a good man.” She rested her hand on top of Tucker’s.
“And I’m grateful I found a woman with such a nice ass,” Tucker responded.
“Ooh…” Derek pointed at Tucker. “Uncle Tucker said ass…”
“What the hell, Tucker?” I barked.
“Oops, sorry.” Tucker shrugged. “It’s what I’m thankful for.”
Pria chuckled and continued to hold his hand.
Cleo thought it was funny too.
My mom smirked slightly and didn’t seem surprised by the inappropriate comment.
“Dad?”
I turned back to Derek. “Hmm?”
“Does Cleo have a nice ass?”
Now Tucker laughed.
It was hilarious because Derek had no idea what he was saying, but I kept a straight face. “Say that word again, and I’ll spank your ass right at this table.”
“Geez…” He picked at his pie again, rolling his eyes.
“What was that?” I snapped.
Derek stilled and kept his head down.
“Be easy on him,” Valerie said. “He’s just a kid.”
She and I would never see eye to eye on parenting. I viewed him as a work in progress, and unless he was taught manners and acceptable behavior, he would never be the man I wanted him to be. But Valerie…just didn’t care. I let it go because I wanted to get along today.
“I’ll start the dishes.” Cleo gathered a couple items and walked into the kitchen.
Mom got to her feet. “I’ll help her.”
“If I offer, will you make me do it?” Tucker asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Alright, then I’m not going to offer.” He drank from his wineglass.
Pria chuckled. “I’m happy to help.”
“No,” I said. “But thank you.”
Tucker held up both of his hands. “Uh, what?”
I ignored him and walked into the kitchen.
Cleo had already pushed the food off the plates and into the trash can. “That was delicious. I’m glad we’ll have leftovers for the rest of the weekend.”
“Yeah.” I set the stack of dishes on the kitchen island.
“So, what are you going to say to Derek?”
I stared at her, confused.
“He asked if I have a nice ass.” She grinned as she moved the dishes to the counter beside the sink.
I chuckled. “Maybe when he’s older.” I pushed the food into the trash can before I added the dishes to the stack. “I’ll wrap up the leftovers and bring the trays as I go along.”
She turned on the faucet to let the water get warm. “Deacon?”
“Hmm?” I came to her side and looked at her.
“That wasn’t the only thing I was thankful for…” She lifted her chin and looked at me.
I stared at her, knowing the running water masked the intimate conversation. “Me too.”
“Because I’m thankful I’ve fallen in love with the man of my dreams…and he’s in love with me too.”
We sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, watching TV while we drank our wine.
“Have you gone crazy living with him yet?” Tucker asked Cleo.
She sat on the ottoman, holding her glass of wine with a straight posture. “Not at all. It’s been—”
“She lives with you?” Valerie’s loud voice practically came out as a shriek.
Everyone turned to her.
Why did I think we could have a nice Thanksgiving together with no hiccups?