The Man Who Has No Sight (Soulless Book 4)

by Victoria Quinn

  I also saw him with one girl a lot.

  He had three boys with him, his main crew, but some cute brunette somehow made it into their group.

  We sat at a different table while the kids ate, acting as chaperones and hosts.

  “This was such a good idea, Cleo,” Margo said. “Look how much fun he’s having.” She eyed her grandson with fondness at the other table. “And pizza…that boy is in heaven right now.”

  “This is way better than any birthday I ever had.” Tucker shook his head.

  Margo rolled her eyes and gave him a playful slap on the wrist. “That is not true.” She leaned forward and looked at Pria. “Don’t let him convince you I was a terrible mother. His father and I were awesome.”

  Pria chuckled. “I know Tucker exaggerates sometimes.”

  Deacon had his arm around my waist, watching his son across the room with an obvious look of pride.

  “Notice that girl who’s always with him,” I said.

  He nodded. “I did notice that.”

  “He’s never mentioned her.”

  “Interesting,” he said. “We’ll question him later.”

  “Don’t embarrass him,” Margo said. “He obviously didn’t tell you for a reason.”

  “Mom, you used to embarrass us all the time,” Tucker countered.

  “I did not,” she said in mock offense.

  “Whatever, Mom.” Tucker rolled his eyes and turned to Pria. “She was a terrible mother.”

  Margo smacked him in the arm again, this time harder.

  Deacon seemed oblivious to it, more focused on Derek.

  I turned to him, seeing his handsome expression, the stubble coming into his jawline because he’d skipped the shave that morning. He was such a hunk. Even when I was with his family, it was impossible not to stare, not to think about how lucky I was to have him in my life.

  “So, you’re going to Sweden, sweetheart?” Margo asked.

  Deacon pulled his gaze away from his son, not even noticing the way I stared at him. “Yes, next week.”

  “It’ll be so cold,” Margo said. “Make sure you stay warm and don’t get sick.”

  He went along with it. “I will, Mom.”

  “It’s just you and a few people?” Margo asked.

  “Three of my colleagues,” Deacon answered.

  “You think you’ll win another Nobel?” Tucker asked.

  Deacon shook his head. “I’m expanding off research that was already honored, so no. It’s just an opportunity to tell the community what I’m working on. It’s an honor, regardless.”

  “You think you’ll win another Nobel in your lifetime?” Tucker asked.

  Deacon shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not.”

  I turned back to the table of kids, seeing a pizza fight about to break out. “Let me put this fire out real quick.” I left the table and moved to the kids, subtly bringing down the food fight about to take place so they wouldn’t go home covered in food stains and their parents would think we were imbeciles.

  I could hear Margo at the other table. “Deacon, Cleo is very fond of you…”

  He was quiet for a bit. “I would hope so.”

  “I mean, that woman is stupidly in love with you,” she said. “You should see the way she looks at you.”

  If Deacon was annoyed, he didn’t show it. “I do see the way she looks at me.”

  I was a bit embarrassed that it was so obvious to his mother, but she obviously liked me and approved of me for her son, so it could be worse. I came back to the table and acted like I hadn’t heard anything. “Well, I stopped the next great war from happening.”

  “Good eye, baby.” Deacon’s arm returned around my waist, and he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, not caring if his mother and brother saw him shower me in affection. “Looks like they’re almost done. We’ll have to break off into groups to do the activities. You guys ready?”

  “Ready to take care of some dumb kids?” Tucker asked. “Bring it on.”

  “These kids are smarter than you, Tucker,” Margo said. “So, watch it.”

  “Smarter than me…” Tucker turned to Pria and shook his head.

  Pria shrugged with a guilty look on her face.

  “Oh, come on,” Tucker said. “Really?”

  She shrugged again.

  We spent the afternoon taking the kids to the different exhibits, putting them into smaller groups because there were thirty of them. Some places were just too small to accommodate them all at once.

  After a few hours, we returned to the main hall to do cake and presents. Derek blew out his candles and then opened a pile of gifts from the other students, and that took another hour all by itself.

  Deacon took pictures and videos on his phone, smiling like it was the best day of his life. He was a happy father, living in a memory he would cherish forever. The sexiest thing about him was the way he loved his son so selflessly, that he would make any sacrifice for that little boy without complaint.

  He was such a good father.

  I sighed and took another big bite of my cake.

  Once the party was over and parents came by to pick up their kids, Derek politely said goodbye to each one, talked with their parents, and then took a seat at the empty table, which was covered with abandoned slices of cake and pieces of wrapping paper.

  We went around and helped the crew clean up.

  “Did you have a good birthday?” I took a seat beside Derek.

  “It was so awesome,” he said. “But now it’s over…and I’m sad. It’s like Christmas all over again.”

  I smiled. “Don’t be sad it’s over. Be happy that it happened. And there’s always next year.”

  “But next year will suck after this.”

  “Don’t say suck.” Deacon passed by, carrying a handful of trash to the garbage.

  When Deacon was gone, Derek rolled his eyes.

  I chuckled, keeping his secret. “So…I noticed there’s this cute little girl who is part of your group… Beatrice?”

  “Yeah,” Derek said. “She’s awesome.”

  “You like her?” I asked.

  “I mean, she’s my girlfriend, so yeah.”

  I stared at him blankly for a second, unable to believe what he’d said. “You have a girlfriend?”

  “I think so.”

  “You’re six…”

  He shrugged. “She’s a girl and she’s my friend…so isn’t she my girlfriend?”

  Okay, that made more sense. “Yeah, I guess. She’s very pretty.”

  “She built her own drone. It’s pretty cool.”

  “Wow…impressive.”

  Deacon came back to the table and took a seat across from us. “What’s impressive?”

  Derek turned to him. “My girlfriend built her own drone.”

  Deacon stilled, his eyebrows rising. “Your girlfriend?”

  “Beatrice,” I explained. “She’s a girl and she’s his friend—so, his girlfriend.”

  Deacon nodded, visibly relieved. “Got it.”

  I noticed the way almost all of the mothers had looked at Deacon when they picked up their kids, and quite a few of the fathers too. He was impossible to overlook, to not immediately lust after. Sometimes it bothered me, but I knew I had to accept it and let it go. How could I be with such a gorgeous man without everyone else wanting him too?

  “Have a good birthday, son?”

  Derek nodded. “I’m sad it’s over.”

  “I’m sad too,” Deacon said. “I can’t believe you’re six now.”

  “And next year I’ll be seven…and then eight…and then nine.”

  Deacon smiled. “Yeah. I don’t want to think about how old I’ll be…”

  Deacon was not old by any standard, and his accomplishments were all the more impressive because of his age.

  “Well, we should get these presents loaded up and get home,” I said. “They’re going to open it to the public in thirty minutes.”

  “Alright…” Derek hopped
off the chair and dragged his feet as he walked away, miserable that his awesome party had come to an end.

  I turned back to Deacon. “Looks like this was a success.”

  He nodded. “Because of you.”

  “It was Derek’s idea.”

  “But we never would have come here if it weren’t for you.” He stared at me for a while before he rose to his feet, his jeans low on his hips, his sweater showing his flat stomach. He pushed up his sleeves to his elbows, showing his chiseled forearms. “I asked my mom to watch him for the evening. Thought you and I could go to dinner and celebrate.”

  I looked up at him, touched by the offer. “That sounds nice. What are we celebrating?”

  He shrugged. “Us.”

  It hadn’t been just the two of us in public in so long that I couldn’t recall the last time it happened. Now there was always a little person to focus on. It was never Deacon and me anymore. But having dinner and sharing a bottle of wine immediately brought that intimacy back.

  We went to the same restaurant we’d been to a few times since the food was amazing. Tess was there waiting on other tables, and she avoided us. But I didn’t care whether she was there or not because it was obvious Deacon was only interested in me.

  When the meal was over, he left his card on the tray at the end of the table. “No dessert?”

  I’d already eaten way too much. “No. I had enough cake today.”

  “Alright.” He finished the rest of his wine and didn’t glance at the waiter when he took the check. “You still didn’t eat as much as you normally do.” He was observant of things like that by nature, so it was normal for him.

  But it was a little disconcerting. “I ate so much pizza today.”

  “That pizza was terrible.”

  “Was not.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t believe I let my son eat that.”

  “Don’t be a snob,” I teased.

  He smiled at me. “A snob?”

  “Yeah. They’re kids. They can eat shitty pizza for a birthday party. Let it go.”

  He chuckled slightly. “I am a snob sometimes, huh?”

  “A bit.”

  The waiter returned with the tab.

  Deacon signed it and added a tip. “Ready to go, baby?”

  “Yes.” I loved hearing him call me that, especially in public.

  He rose to his feet then extended his hand to me.

  I took it and pulled myself up.

  “You didn’t like the wine?” My full glass was sitting there.

  “I’ve had so much sugar lately I’m kinda repulsed by it.”

  His arm circled my waist, and he walked me outside. After a quick text, his driver pulled up, and Deacon helped me into the car before he went to the other side.

  “Are we picking up Derek on the way back?”

  He shook his head. “He’s staying overnight at my mom’s.”

  “He is?” I asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. Thought we could fuck on the couch like we used to.” It was not romantic at all, but to me, it was romantic as hell. He gave me a slight smile from his side of the car, the interior lights highlighting his handsome face in the perfect way.

  “That sounds really nice. Good thing I’m wearing lingerie underneath this dress.” I pulled up my dress to highlight the bodysuit underneath.

  His smile faded, and his eyes were focused on the peek of lace he got to see. Even when I pulled my dress down, he continued to stare at the spot, like he was so excited he didn’t know what to do. “Baby, I fucking love you.” His hand went to my thigh, and he gave me a squeeze, kneading my thigh with his aggressive fingertips.

  I grabbed his hand and placed it under my dress, so he could feel the crotchless opening. “I know you do.”

  Once we walked in the door, the lustful energy was immediately shattered when he noticed what I’d mounted on the wall. Above the fireplace and the mantel was his Nobel. The fire was already burning because I’d asked Matt to take care of it, to create the ambiance before we stepped inside the residence.

  Deacon stopped and stared at it, seconds turning into minutes.

  I came to his side, waiting for some kind of reaction to figure out if he liked it or not. Maybe I should have let him do it himself. Maybe he had a different spot in mind. Maybe I’d overstepped my boundaries. “It’s not permanent. We can always move it—”

  “I’m just a little overwhelmed right now.” He turned his head toward me. “I just… I have so many bad feelings about that medal, and to see the contrast in real time…it’s hard to process.”

  “Well, I don’t want you to have bad feelings about it.”

  “I don’t think I do anymore. I think…that’s just an old memory. This is my life now. I found the woman I’m supposed to be with, and that’s even more clear when I see that hanging proudly in our living room.” His eyes caught the light of the fire, his brown eyes dangerous but affectionate at the same time.

  Our living room.

  “I was bitter and broken.” He turned his body into mine, his arms circling my waist. “But you made me whole. She manipulated me, lied to me, tricked me to get me to stay. But you made me forget all that…made me trust again.”

  My eyes softened, and then the guilt started to hurt my stomach.

  His hands moved into my hair, and he kissed me in front of the fire, deep and purposeful kisses, his mouth tilting from side to side, his breaths changing from deep to slow, from desperate to peaceful.

  His kiss was the most potent drug. It pulled me into the moment and made me abandon everything else. It made me feel safe…like nothing else mattered.

  Thirteen

  Deacon

  I felt like shit.

  I almost called the whole thing off.

  Leaving the country, leaving my son and Cleo, felt so goddamn wrong right now. It was the same dread I’d felt when I left Valerie and moved to New York, but my rage kept me going, convinced me that I needed to do that for my own sanity.

  This wasn’t the same at all. I’d only be gone for a week.

  It would pass so quickly.

  But it still felt like straight-up abandonment.

  Valerie was out of the country, and I would be out of the country. I wasn’t worried about Cleo’s ability to take care of my son while I was gone, but I felt odd leaving him there without his mother or father.

  And I just didn’t want to leave Cleo…because I would miss her.

  I’d have to sleep alone every night, in a big bed in a hotel room, lonely.

  I rolled the suitcase to the lobby then stopped to the left of the doorway. My driver was parked outside, but we stayed inside because it was way too cold to stand on the street corner for our goodbyes.

  I kneeled and addressed Derek first. “I’m gonna miss you, little man.”

  “I’ll miss you too. But you’re only going to be gone for a week.” Derek took my departure well, not even slightly uncomfortable by the fact that both his mother and I wouldn’t be around. It didn’t cause him unease or anxiety at all, probably because Cleo had become a mother to him, a better mother than his own had been.

  “I know,” I said. “But I’ll still miss you.” I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly, feeling his heartbeat against my body, feeling the little boy who was half me. Most people would probably enjoy a break from fatherhood and a trip outside the country, but I wasn’t excited at all. I loved being home with Derek. I loved coming home to Cleo every night. I used to be so independent, but now I had developed this strong sense of codependency with Cleo, which was remarkable considering my hermit-like qualities. I kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

  “Love you too, Dad.” He pulled away.

  I rose to my feet then looked at Cleo. For some inexplicable reason, it was just as difficult to say goodbye to her as my own flesh and blood. The bracelet I gave her was on her wrist, her father’s watch on mine. My heart ached as I looked at her, feeling terrible for jetting off somewhere when all I reall
y wanted was to be home with her.

  She wore a smile, putting on a brave face to make my departure easier, but I knew it was hard for her, knowing I would spend a week with a woman who was obviously attracted to me. And Cleo would miss me every single moment until I returned. “Have a good time.” She moved into me and hugged me tightly. “Everyone will love your presentation.”

  “Thanks…” I squeezed her waist as I pressed my face into her neck, inhaling her scent for the last time. I wished I could take her with me.

  She pulled away, still smiling. “Send us lots of pictures.”

  I loved her more because she was trying so hard to keep this casual, like it wasn’t really a goodbye even though it was. “I love you.”

  Her eyes couldn’t keep up the stoic expression anymore, and they softened. “I love you too.”

  I cupped her face and gave her a kiss. “I’ll call you every day.”

  “You don’t need to do that, Deacon. I know you’re busy—”

  “I need to talk to you every day. Otherwise, I’ll lose my mind.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead and gave her a final squeeze before I stepped back and grabbed my luggage.

  She placed her hand on Derek’s shoulder and stood with him, bringing him close into her side. “I’ll take good care of your son, Deacon.”

  I had no doubt about it. “I know you will.” I turned and walked out the double doors into the freezing cold.

  My driver hopped out, opened the door for me to get inside, and then lifted my luggage into the trunk.

  I looked out the tinted windows and saw Cleo and Derek standing there together, looking at the car even though they couldn’t see me. Derek was talking, looking up at Cleo occasionally, like he was saying something pretty long-winded.

  She smiled but kept looking at me.

  When the car pulled away, I held up my hand to wave even though she couldn’t see me.

  But she waved back…like she could.

  After a long international flight and a drive from the airport, we checked in to the hotel where the conference was being held. I reverted to my usual coldness the second I was away from my family. Subtly hostile, constantly annoyed, and just generally unpleasant, I was an asshole again. Maybe I was just cranky from the long flight and the ordeal of travel, but I knew that wasn’t the reason.