by Heinzer, HB
Chapter Fifteen
Adam was grateful to have a few days off work. Even with all the vacation time he'd wasted spending extra time with Carly, he had so much accrued time that his boss was forcing long weekends for a while. No, saying that he had wasted that time with Carly wasn't right. Even though she'd ripped his heart out, he could never truthfully see it that way. The time they had had together was a gift. Kind of like that time he got a BB gun for his birthday and managed to shoot himself in the foot; it hurt like hell, but it was still a perfect gift.
“Sanders, get your ass out here,” Micah yelled from the driveway. Since he had nothing better to do, Adam was going to take out his pent up frustration on a worksite with Micah.
Adam rushed out of the house, not bothering to lock up behind him. Unless he was going to be home late at night, there really was no point since you couldn't see his house from the road and people rarely drove this far up the bluff without a destination in mind.
“Let's go,” Adam said, slamming the door of Micah's work truck.
“Easy there, killer. My truck never did anything to you,” Micah laughed. Adam wasn't in the mood for it. After Carly had dropped her little bomb on him, it had been impossible to get to sleep. Rather than saying something and opening the door to a day filled with Micah giving him a hard time, Adam flipped him off, staring out the window.
“Damn, dude. Maybe you should have gone to New York to get laid. You're fucking wound up tight this morning,” Micah joked, punching Adam in the arm.
Adam growled, “Do yourself a favor; don't mention New York or me getting laid. Follow that simple rule and we'll be good.”
By noon, the sun was beating down on Adam, making him wish he'd thought twice about wearing jeans. He climbed down the ladder, pushing up his dust-covered sunglasses so he could see where he was going.
“Adam,” Micah yelled from the gravel driveway of the home they were building. “Your phone's been blowing up all morning. You wanna turn it off or some shit?”
He grabbed his phone off the dashboard and noticed that he had thirteen missed calls but only two voicemails. All were from Carly.
“Adam, I really want to talk to you. I need to explain what I did a bad job saying last night. I love you and don't want this to be the end.” Screw that. She was the one who needed space; now she was calling him less than twelve hours later? He deleted the message.
“Please, Adam. Don't shut me out. I know what you thought I meant last night, but that's not it at all. I love you so much it scares me sometimes. It's not that I don't trust you; it's that I don't trust anyone with my heart. And I want to get over that feeling, I do, but it's not fair to make you go through this, too. You deserve someone who isn't broken. Okay, well, I guess I'll let you get back to work if you're even still listening. You probably hung up a long time ago and deleted the message, but I hope I'm wrong. I love you, Adam.”
Hearing her cry into the phone as she poured out her fears made Adam feel as if someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart tight. It was a physical ache that kept growing with every word, every stuttered breath.
Never before had Adam wanted to fight for a woman and now he knew why. He let Carly get under his skin, and she abandoned him. At least she did it while they were still dating and not after almost twenty years of marriage, leaving not only a broken husband but also two confused teenagers behind to pick up the pieces.
“You okay over there, Romeo?” Micah asked, leaning against the side of his truck. “You look like someone kicked you in the balls. Wanna talk about it?”
Adam shook his head. “Nah, this ain't a slumber party, and we're not a couple of teenage girls. Come on.” He started walking away from the truck, feeling full of energy despite the unseasonably hot day. He picked up a hammer, ready to find something he could hit.
“You know keeping that shit inside isn't good either, right?” Now Micah was turning into Ann-fucking-Landers. Great. “Why don’t we stop by The Oasis after work, and then you come over for dinner? Believe it or not, your sister turned into a pretty good cook.”
As if Adam needed one more thing to be pissed off about. Julia hadn't even been back a full month, and she and Micah were basically living together already. If she felt as bad when Micah left her as Adam felt right now, he couldn't see how she ever got past that. If thoughts like that made him weak, so be it.
“Yeah, sure.” He hadn't talked to Julia since that night at The Oasis, so he wasn't sure he wanted to walk into her house even if it was for a good meal. She didn’t even realize how close she had come to knowing the truth. Now, there wasn’t actually a reason for her to find out because there was nothing to know.
Since she came home, he was trying to fix the relationship with her that had crumbled when their mom left. Adam had gone through a long period where he thought all women were worthless; that they'd take your heart, then your money, sometimes your name, and leave you with nothing. By the time he graduated high school, he'd grown out of that phase, but Julia was long gone by then. When she didn't stay in touch with Adam and their dad, he didn't put in the effort, figuring it was just as easy for her to leave them as it had been for their mom.
He knew now that pain was what kept his sister away. The throb of a broken heart. The sting of promises shattered. The agony caused by Micah. If Micah and Julia could get past their pain, maybe there was hope that he and Carly would figure out their differences.
Adam climbed back up the ladder, ready to keep pounding shingles onto the roof. Within minutes, he found a good rhythm and forgot everything except what he was doing on that roof.
***
Carly stared at a stack of bills on her kitchen table. With Tatyana gone and still no job lined up, she didn’t know how much longer she could hold out before she would be forced to move back to Wisconsin and live with Gran. “Shit,” she screamed in frustration, slamming the hundred dollar electric bill onto the pile.
Her phone started ringing across the room. It had been two weeks since she talked to Adam. When she convinced herself he wasn't going to call her back, she stopped caring where her phone was. Sure, the responsible thing to do would have been to keep it by her in case someone called about a job, but she wasn't sure she even wanted to find something at this point. Maybe moving home was the answer, with or without Adam.
The next time she got up from the mind-numbing task of figuring out where she could shave pennies out of the budget, she looked at her phone. The missed call had been Annie. She called her voicemail and had to hold the phone away from her ear to avoid a ruptured eardrum.
“Carly, you'd better find that bitch and knock some sense into her,” Annie screeched. “Julia asked me to take her to the airport this morning so she could go to a job interview out there. The kicker? She never fucking mentioned word one about it to Micah.” The number of words Annie could get out between breaths, and at high volume, was staggering. “So, I pick up Caleb, bring him home and then Micah starts calling me asking where his girlfriend is. The bitch didn't fucking tell him. I swear, if you don't find her and knock her on her ass, I'm getting on a plane, and I'll come out there myself!”
When the message finally ended, Carly sat there staring at the phone for a long time. Now Julia was coming to New York? For a job interview? Everything had seemed so good between her and Micah the last time Carly had talked to her. She wondered what could have happened to cause Julia to bail without saying goodbye. Even though she was pissed at Micah, she thought Julia and Caleb were close enough that she'd never leave him without talking to him first.
After talking to Annie, Carly understood why she was so pissed. It wasn't even just that Julia ran away from home, although that was a juvenile move, to say the least. What angered Annie was that she had to deal with a pre-teen temper tantrum all the way home. Apparently, Micah's son had grown accustomed to getting rides to and from school with Julia and didn't appreciate the change in his routine. Sure, it was a bit odd, but from what Carly had heard
from Gran, Caleb lived for routines. Knowing that Julia had hurt the boy that the entire group of friends had come to love as their nephew made Carly want to hunt down her friend and deliver the ass kicking Annie had demanded.
It turned out, Carly wouldn't have to do much hunting at all.
Julia: Hey, I'm in town. Ave. of Americas. Go out?
Carly: I heard. Be there in 20.
Not only was Julia in the city, she was damn near in Carly's back yard. She rushed through the apartment to find something worthy of going out to a club, opting for a little black dress with four-inch silver high heels. If Adam had given up on her, she figured she might as well start testing out the waters. Her hair didn't require any work since she had straightened it earlier in the day for a job interview, which was more than likely another dead-end. No one was hiring for theater jobs at the end of September.
Julia looked well put together in skinny jeans with a purple tank and bright orange heels, but once Carly looked closer, she realized Julie hadn’t made this trip just because she wanted to. “So, what gives?” Carly asked, looking straight ahead in the cab so Julia wouldn't see a hint of judgment or disappointment in her eyes.
“I told you before, moving back there was never supposed to be a permanent thing. I had an opportunity come up, and I owe it to myself to at least look into it,” Julia sighed. Carly knew there was more to the story, but she saw the club just ahead of them. Before the end of the night, she planned to get the full story.
The club wasn't too crowded yet since it was only going on ten o'clock. That didn't mean there weren't plenty of guys looking for a one-night stand. Carly felt violated just by the looks she was getting. She didn't want to be here, she wanted to be curled up on the couch in her sweatpants with a pint of ice cream keeping her company, just like she spent most nights over the past couple weeks. Why did she think she wanted anything to do with a guy that wasn't Adam? Feeling uncomfortable with her own thoughts, Carly stood on her tiptoes to find Julia.
Carly rolled her eyes at the sight of Julia, flirting like a twenty-one year old trollop at the bar. She stormed over, pulling her friend away from Mr. Tall, Dark and Horny. “Come one, let's find a seat,” she said in her best “don't fuck with me tonight” voice.
“I thought we were dancing,” Julia whined, trying but failing at her pouty face.
Not in the mood to be in public, and even less in the mood to be dealing with drama that spanned nearly a thousand miles, Carly all but shoved Julia into a seat. “We will, but first, you're going to tell me what in the hell is going on. Annie called me this afternoon. She's pissed. Said something about you flying out here and not telling Micah you were leaving. So, what gives?”
After a loud sigh, Julia stuck out her chin defiantly. “I didn't realize I needed to keep him apprised of my whereabouts.” Carly rolled her eyes at the drunken arrogance of her friend. Julia continued, “Look, I haven't even been back there for a month, and people are trying to marry us off already. Of course, it doesn't help that he's still staying at my house. I've tried telling him that he should go back out to Gran's, but he says he won't until Karen tells him or the cops who grabbed me in the bathroom.”
“So, instead of talking to him, you're running? Do you realize that Caleb screamed at Annie all the way to her place? He wanted to talk to you and freaked when Annie said you weren't there.” The look on Julia's face told Carly she'd hit a nerve. Carly couldn't care less if Julia and Micah worked out their issues, but Caleb didn't deserve what Julia was doing to him. “I know you're freaking out, but he's changed. You need to give him a chance to show you that.”
Julia looked like she was going to be ill. When she rushed out of the building, Carly followed but couldn’t find her anywhere. The bouncers were preoccupied with drunk little sluts wanting to get in the door despite the fact they were at capacity, so they hadn’t seen her either. After twenty minutes, Carly left, promising herself she would call Julia later to make sure she got back to her hotel safely.
When she got home, she pulled her phone out of her purse, deciding to try again to see if Adam was ready to talk to her yet. After one ring, the call went to voicemail, meaning he was still ignoring her calls.
“Adam, I really want to talk to you. I screwed up, and I get that.” She could feel her throat getting thick as she fought the urge to break down crying. “If I could do it all over, I would have asked you to bear with me while I worked through my issues, not give me space. Please, call me so we can talk. I hope that, maybe someday, you'll hear me out and see where I was coming from.”
Chapter Sixteen
There was no way around it. Carly was going to have to suck it up and move home. Thirty years old and she was going to have to go crawling back to her grandmother and take whatever job came her way. She'd been sitting at the kitchen table for the fourth day in a row, trying to find a way to stretch her savings to last a few more months. If she could just make it to January, things would turn around. Even without cable, going only places she could walk to, and putting herself on a diet that consisted of little more than ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese, there was no way unless she found a roommate.
She picked up the phone at least a dozen times, trying to bring herself to call Gran Turner and let her know she was coming home. She couldn't do it. Going home meant facing Adam, who still wouldn't talk to her.
A knock on her door pulled Carly out of her pity party. “Who is it?” She asked tentatively. No one came to visit her. Since the show at the Schumann ended and most of the cast and crew had moved on to winter shows, no one had time for her anymore. She was the one who screwed around too long to get the next job. The failure.
“It's me. Are you still pissed off at me?” It was Julia. She didn't even realize her friend was still in town. And how did Julia know where she lived?
“Just a second,” Carly sighed as she unlocked the deadbolt, slide bolt and door lock. Even that depressed her. Before her time with Adam, she had rolled her eyes at the number of locks on her front door, but Adam insisted that you could never be too careful in a big city. After he had gone, she had already gotten into the habit, so it stuck.
It was like deja vu seeing Julia at the door, sitting on her suitcase. Dammit, stop thinking about Adam. You're the one who screwed that up. “Hey, what are you doing here?” She threw her arms around her friend, grateful that they had been friends long enough to work past their issues.
“Still looking for a roommate?” Julia asked, peering past Carly into the dingy apartment. She picked up her suitcase and messenger bag, inviting herself into the living room.
Carly stood there, speechless. When she said she needed a roommate, she never in a million years would have thought about Julia as a candidate. “Not going home?”
“The offer's too good to refuse, and I need to find myself,” Julia said, looking around the less than impressive area.
“Um, yeah. But are you sure about this? What about Micah and Caleb? What about Adam? You two were just getting to spend time together again.” She hated herself for being more concerned about a grown man than she was for the child wrapped up in this whole mess.
“Micah and I will keep talking. I think I finally got him to understand that this isn't about him or about us; it's about me.” Julia walked into the kitchen and cracked open two beers. It was as if she already lived here. Then again, Julia knew Carly well enough to know she wouldn't say no, so she basically started living there as soon as she asked. “This is about me. Micah was the first man I ever loved, and I let it crush me. Josh was the second man I loved. I gave up everything so I could follow him around the country as he got different contracts. For a long time, I felt like I was nothing. I had no clue who I genuinely was or what I wanted in life.”
Carly nodded. Finally hearing Julia explain things this way, it made more sense. “Okay, I guess I can see that. But why now? Why New York? You had a good gig going back home and, from what Adam told me, you were getting new clients almost every week.
”
“Yeah, but I want more. I want what working for myself won't give me,” Julia said, poking her head out the fire escape. “I need the New York experience, working with real clients in one of the biggest publicity hubs out there. Then, if Micah and I work out, I might be able to take that back to Madison, or we could move closer to Chicago. But I need to do what's right for me, for once.”
Listening to Julia, Carly realized just how alike the two women were. Maybe it was the years spent planning their escape from the small town, maybe it was just who they were, and that's why their friendship had lasted so long, but it was like hearing her thoughts bounced back at her.
***
Adam: I'll be coming in next week. Are we getting together? You owe me a hell of an explanation.
He might be younger, but sometimes Adam felt like the responsible one of the entire bunch. Now, not only was Carly out in New York, his sister had run off as well. Those two were the epitome of “free spirits.” Unfortunately, while they flitted off to their next adventure, they left everyone else behind to deal with the aftermath.
It had been over a week since Adam stayed at his house. For a long time, he tried, but it was too hard. Once Carly left, it felt empty. He had experienced living in a home for a short time and didn't like feeling as if it was little more than a shelter at night. Once Julia left town, Micah asked Adam to consider staying at her house with him and Caleb so there would still be an adult home when the boy got home from school.
Since he was still getting constant grief from the higher-ups about his vacation time, he decided to take two weeks off. Micah needed help getting some projects back on track and Adam needed to re-evaluate what he was doing in life. He still wanted to believe that someday he'd find that special woman to settle down with him. The problem was he knew that wouldn't happen while he was always on the road. Carly seemed more understanding than most women he knew, and even they weren't able to make it work. Depending on the day, Micah was either a genius or an asshole for suggesting that Adam leave his cushy job and buy into Anderson Builders.