by Heinzer, HB
As he sat at Julia's desk going through reports that he needed to have ready before he flew to New York, the thought of being in one place every day sounded more and more appealing. It wouldn't happen until after the first of the year when Adam's contract was up for renewal, but it was certainly something to think about. But what would that mean for him and Carly?
He still hadn't talked to Carly since that night. She'd left more messages than he could count, each one sadder than the one before. He'd been tempted to call her back, but he wasn't ready to tear the scab off wounds that were just starting to heal. Going to New York would be the true test of his willpower. Could he make it through that first trip without calling her?
He picked up his phone when the new message tone chimed.
Julia: Sounds good. How bad is it there?
How could his sister act as if it were no big deal that she had left? I'll tell you how terrible it is, big sister...Your boyfriend is a moody little bitch most of the time. The rest of the time, he's killing himself to make your house perfect on the off chance that you move back. And Caleb, you remember that boy you spent so much time with? You basically ripped away the only sane mother figure he's ever had in his life.
“Adam?” Caleb popped his head through the office door. “You up for some Xbox? Dad's working late again tonight.” This was about how every night had gone. Micah was killing himself working, trying to get ahead, leaving Adam and Caleb home to fend for themselves.
“Sure, buddy. Why don't you call for a pizza? They have my number on file.” He started wrapping up what he was doing. When he was younger, Micah took care of Adam after their mom left. It only seemed right that he keep Caleb on track. The fact that spending time with Caleb gave Adam a legitimate excuse to zone out to first-person shooter games was just an added bonus.
“Dude, you suck at this,” Caleb shouted when Adam died for a fourth time. “You really need to have your sister give you lessons or something.” When Adam looked over at the little punk next to him, he didn't see the smirk he expected. Caleb was staring at his feet, lost in thought.
“Hey, what's going on in there?” Adam asked, running his hand through Caleb's shaggy brown hair.
“Nothin',” Caleb mumbled.
“Didn't your dad ever tell you that your nose will grow if you lie?” Although he had once been a sullen teenager, Adam had no clue how to deal with the twelve year old next to him on the couch. How Julia had managed to get him to open up to her was a mystery to everyone.
Caleb snorted. “If that was the case, I think everyone around here would have noses a mile long.”
“Good point.” Sometimes, Caleb was too damn smart for his own good. When he got to high school, Adam imagined the principal would have Micah's cell phone on speed dial. “Now, what's going on? You were having fun up until a few minutes ago.”
“Do you think she'll come back?” Caleb asked quietly. Seeing the pained expression on Caleb's face, Adam wanted to slap his sister. For such a smart, caring woman, she could be a selfish bitch sometimes.
“Between us?” Adam asked, and Caleb nodded. “I think she'll be back. Even if your dad's a putz, I think she likes you.”
“Do you think Carly will come back too?”
Adam swallowed hard. Inquisitive little shit sure knew how to dig to the heart of the matter when he wanted to. Other than what he had heard from Gran, Caleb barely knew Carly, so it made no sense that he was asking about her. “I don't know, buddy. She has a whole life out in New York and what we had wasn't like what your dad and Julia have.”
“No, but Gran said she thinks Carly's in love with you, but she's scared because her mom and dad left her, just like my mom left me,” Caleb blurted out, slapping his hand over his mouth as if he wasn't supposed to say anything.
“Is that right? What else did Gran say?” Adam tried to hide his laughter at the horrified look on Caleb's face.
“That's about it. You know how Gran gets, going on about stuff whether she thinks people are listening or not. I think Gran likes you.”
“I kind of like Gran, too. You know, she was almost like a mom to me when I was a bit older than you.” If Julia wasn't going to be around for Caleb to talk to, Adam figured he'd try to make sure the kid still had someone to talk to. God knows Adam could have used a friendly ear.
Caleb nodded, “Yeah, Julia told me that. Now, are we going to shoot some shit or are you going to make me talk some more?”
“Caleb Aaron Anderson, you watch your mouth,” Micah's voice echoed through the living room. Adam had to laugh, knowing full well that Micah's mouth had been every bit as colorful at his son's age. “Sanders, you get the smug look off your face before I come over and knock it off for you.”
***
“Hey, I just landed. I have to go check in at the hotel, and then we can meet up for dinner. Give me a call back.” Adam scrolled through his emails as the cab made its way across town to his hotel. It felt strange not going to Carly's apartment. Being back in the city made him realize how much he still missed her. Against his better judgment, he decided to text her.
Adam: Hey, in town until Thursday night. Can we meet for coffee?
He gripped his phone in both hands, staring at it as if that would make her respond. This was the first time he had tried reaching out to her since he said goodbye. Her voicemails had stopped altogether over a week ago. What if she didn't want him anymore?
Carly: Tell me when and where.
Adam: You pick the place, it's your city. Have you talked to my sister since she moved out here?
It was a stupid question, not to mention meaningless, but he didn't want to lose the slight connection he had to her.
Carly: Yeah, maybe you two need to talk more often.
Adam stared at her response, wondering what in the hell she meant by it. Before he could tap out a response, the cab pulled up in front of the hotel and Adam headed inside. As he approached the front desk, his phone pinged with a new message. He hoped it was Carly telling him where they could meet, but it was his sister.
Julia: O'Briens. 46th between 6th and 7th. Meet you there at 7?
Adam: Sounds good.
It was only four now. That meant Adam had three hours to kill. Normally, he would have walked around Times Square. While he hated it at night because it was tourist hell, during the day it was an eclectic assortment of artists, street performers, tourist and some of the most creative beggars he had ever seen. Rather than holding up signs asking for help, panhandlers in New York seemed to fight to see who could be the most creative. To date, the sign that would get Adam's vote said ‘Need money for penile implants’. He actually gave that guy a buck because it takes courage to stand out there with a sign like that, whether or not it's true.
He wasn't in the mood to be entertained, and if he started walking, he knew exactly where he would wind up. Leaving the room at all meant there was a chance he would run into her. And yes, even in one of the busiest areas of the largest city in America, Adam had no doubt their paths would cross. Instead of risking it, Adam pulled the drapes closed, set his alarm and laid down for a nap.
Dinner with Julia was everything he expected. They fought about her decision to move to New York, she tried to make him see her point of view, and he told her she was being selfish. After a few beers, his sister's logic started to make more sense, but not quite, because Adam was the one who saw what she was doing to those around her on a daily basis.
“Jules, you know I love you, right?” He said, he words slightly slurred. It was past time to cut himself off.
Julia narrowed her eyes on him. “Yeah, why? You're not going to get all sappy drunk on me, are you? Right after that is usually sloppy Adam and I can't carry you out of here.”
Adam took in a deep breath. He was still lucid enough to know he wouldn't be sharing this with her if he were sober, but too far-gone to stop himself. “You need to stop being stupid and come home. Micah isn't Josh. He's not asking you to give up on your dreams. In fa
ct, you were doing what made you happy back home. You were a boss when it came to bringing in new clients and there are still people calling your office line looking for you every fucking day. There's a kid back there who needs you.”
Julia let out a frustrated growl. “I'm not his mother. That was one of our key issues. I'm not ready to be a mom, especially not to the pre-teen son conceived when my high school sweetheart screwed around on me. Why can't anyone in that backwards ass town understand that?” Patrons at the tables around them tried to make it look like they weren't eavesdropping, but Adam could see them practically leaning in to hear better. Or was that the alcohol? Either way, Julia was being loud and was on the verge of making a scene.
“No,” Adam stated firmly. “No one expects you to be his mom. He has one of those, even if she is a psycho from Hell. Your problem is that, for some stupid ass reason, you're the one Caleb decided he could talk to. I've tried, Micah's tried, everyone's tried and he's locked up tight. Like it or not, that boy needs you.”
Julia waved him off, dismissing the argument. “I need to get home,” Julia said after looking down at her phone. She stumbled slightly on her high heels.
“Careful now, I don't wanna have to carry your ass home,” Adam laughed. After paying the tab, he joined Julia at the curb. “Come on, I'll make sure you get home safe.”
Julia eyed him cautiously. The way she worried her lip told Adam there was something she wanted to say to him. “You don't have to, Adam. Really.”
“Whatever. Let's go.” There was no chance that he was going to let his tipsy sister go home alone at night in New York. If they had been in Brooklyn, he still would have made sure she got home safely.
It took longer than expected to hail a cab. The few that had their lights on seemed to be in too much of a hurry to get somewhere else to bother stopping. When they finally slid into the back of the first taxi that stopped for them, Julia called out her address for the driver.
“Uh, where did you say you're living?” Adam felt the blood draining out of his face. At the mention of Carly's address, his palms started to sweat, and his shoulders tensed. Julia hadn't mentioned anything about living with Carly. Why?
Julia stared out the window. “Carly needed a roommate, so it just made sense that I move in there. It’s kind of a shithole, but it’s cheap, and I know I can trust her.” Her blue eyes filled with worry as she looked over to Adam. “Is there a problem with that? I thought you two were friends. She said you used to hang out when you were in town.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close for a hug. “It's not a problem, I’m just surprised. And you’re right, that place is a total dive.”
How in the hell was he supposed to spend any quality time with Julia if he and Carly couldn’t be in the same room together? This was even worse than he expected it to be. On the upside, if he could get over the wrenching pain in his chest when he walked through the front door, maybe it would force the issue and they could figure out where everything went wrong.
Chapter Seventeen
When Julia moved in, Carly didn't think about the fact that it would mean seeing Adam at some point. As much as she wanted to see him, his silence had made it perfectly clear the feeling wasn't mutual. She had pushed him away. At least he finally agreed to meet with her, even if it wound up being just to give them both closure. Now, she had just shy of thirty-six hours before she would be talking to him. That had to be a step in the right direction, but it still scared the hell out of her.
Carly was nearly asleep on the couch when she heard voices in the hall. Two voices, both of which she recognized. Shit, he's here. Of course, Adam would have insisted on escorting Julia home after their dinner. She jumped off the couch, trying to get to her bedroom before the door opened. Adam didn't need to see her matted blonde hair, paint-stained sweatpants and tank top. She didn't want him to see that she had all but given up on her looks unless she was going to an interview.
“Shhh, Carly's probably asleep,” Julia whispered loudly. Bless that woman's heart; she was stalling, giving Carly a chance to get her lazy ass off the couch. If Julia only knew how much Carly appreciated the warning, and understood why.
“Nice try, Jules,” Adam laughed. “But don't worry; we can play that angle if you want. I'm sure Carly, the same girl that usually stays up until three in the morning or later, is sound asleep in there. Probably curled up with her stuffed bunny and her blankie, right?” Oh, good lord. Not only had she brought him back to the apartment, apparently he was drunk as well. She clearly needed to stay away from his lethal mix of cocky and flirtatious or she would be a goner. Not a chance, Carly. You'll probably get full-fledged pissed off Adam if you come out of the bedroom. You were the one who screwed with his head.
Carly slid down her bedroom door, falling into a heap on the floor just inside of her bedroom. She couldn't do this. She wasn't ready to look into Adam's beautiful eyes and see the pain she had put there. After scrubbing the tears away from her cheeks with the back of her hand, Carly pulled herself off the ground. It was time to get back to living, starting with a long, hot shower.
***
Adam looked around the apartment, not sure whether he was hoping to see Carly, or praying she was either sleeping or out for the night. Julia handed him a beer as he flopped onto the couch. Inhaling deeply, he regretted coming inside at all. He could smell the sweet pea body spray Carly wore. He loved that scent.
“Huh, maybe she really is sleeping,” Julia said, shrugging. “So, how do you know she’s normally up so late?”
Adam picked at the label on his beer bottle. He really needed to kick Micah's ass for getting him started on that annoying habit. “We didn’t always hang out at bars. We’re both night owls, so sometimes we’d come back here and watch stupid TV shows.” He’d made it through the best and worst times without Julia knowing about them, no sense telling her now when she was living with Carly. The only thing that would do is create more tension between them.
“You know, you might be just what that girl needs. She’s always sitting around the house, moping, and it’s kind of a drag,” Julia laughed. Adam felt in his heart that he was still exactly what she needed. But what was he supposed to do? Carly was the one who pushed him away. Of course, he couldn’t say that to Julia. No matter how hard he tried to come up with a witty comeback, there wasn’t one. He was finally calm enough to listen to what Carly had to say, but that didn't change the fact that she ran as soon as the going got tough.
“Jules, please don’t tell me you’re going to spend all that free time you have playing matchmaker,” Adam pleaded. “If you do, I'll have no choice but to help Micah figure out how to get your ass back to Wisconsin. You get me?” He raised an eyebrow, hoping she understood that this was something he needed to do on his own. Julia truly needed to steer clear of this situation.
Julia placed a hand on her brother's leg. “Look, both of you are lonely, I can tell. You're two of the most important people in my life, and I want you both to be happy. What’s the big deal in trying to give that a little push? From what Micah’s told me, you don’t exactly have a lot of experience when it comes to women.”
Adam laughed. For the first time in too long, he actually let out a full-blown belly laugh. “I'm pretty sure that you've been misinformed about that.” He winked at Julia, and she shuddered.
“Damn, Adam. I will pay you good money to never talk to me about your sex life again. I seriously don't want to know how much experience you have.” She fake heaved like his statement was causing her to lose her dinner. “And that's not what I meant, pervert. You have no experience with relationships. Maybe finding someone you already know would take away some of that awkwardness. You’re not getting any younger, and I’d like to be an aunt someday.”
“The horse is dead, Jules, so you can stop beating it now. Turner and I hang out. We’re buddies. That’s it.” Saying it out loud stung even more the second time.
“Seriously, Adam. You don’t
trust women. You’ve known her all your life so you should know you can trust her. And Carly, well I’m pretty sure she’ll never settle down with all of her issues.”
Adam cocked his head to look at his sister. “What do you mean all of her issues?”
Julia walked to the kitchen, still talking to Adam as she got a glass of water. “Seriously? I think it’s highly unlikely that she’ll ever believe anyone would love her. With the way both of her parents bailed, can’t truly say I blame her. We’re both screwed up, and our mom was there through most of our formative years. Carly, on the other hand, didn’t get that chance, and I think she feels like everyone in life other than Gran is temporary.”
“Huh...” Hearing Julia talk about what Carly felt opened Adam’s eyes. He felt like the biggest dick for pushing her away the way he did. He had done exactly what she had feared he would do. The only thing she was trying to spare herself from was the one thing he had done. Now he really wanted to talk to her and wasn’t sure he wanted to wait until they met up.
Adam reached for the remote, turning on Sportscenter with the volume loud enough to drown out his sister's meddling without waking Carly. She took the hint and sat down next to him on the couch. They sat there in silence for about fifteen minutes before Julia got up, grabbing her purse. “We're out of beer. I'll be back in a bit.”
Adam went to stand, but his sister pushed him back down on the couch. “Sit. I'll be back soon.” He didn't trust the twinkle in her eyes. She was up to something.
“I should really head back to my hotel. I do have to work in the morning,” Adam said, trying again to stand. This time, Julia shoved him with more force. He could see why Micah came across as whipped by her; Julia was strong as shit for a smaller girl.
“So do I. But it's the first time you've been out here since I moved and I miss you.” She gave him puppy dog eyes, and he settled into the couch. There was no way he could fight when she pulled out the guilt trip. “If you want, you could probably knock on her door. She could keep you company while I’m gone.” She looked in the direction of Carly's room and then stared at Adam.