Christmas with the Best Man

by Susan Carlisle

  “Okay, but I won’t be much fun.”

  “You don’t have to be. I’m tired too. We’ll watch a little TV and call it a night.” He was feeling a little better about the situation. If he got her to his place, once she was warm and rested maybe she would tell him what was bothering her. He didn’t understand his need to console her but he felt deep down it was important that he did.

  They only spoke when necessary on their walk to his place. He would give her space for the time being. Even in the elevator he didn’t attempt to touch her. At his place, he allowed her to go in ahead of him. “Why don’t you have a seat or you’re welcome to the bath.”

  She went to his sofa and sat. Leaning into the corner cushions, she closed her eyes. Minutes later her soft, even breathing indicated she was asleep.

  Elijah covered her with a blanket. He would let her sleep until dinner arrived. She must be exhausted. Maybe after some rest she would be feeling better, perhaps enough to talk to him. He called his favorite pizza place and ordered dinner. After making sure Helena was asleep, he took a quick shower. He had just pulled on his workout pants and a T-shirt when there was a call from the doorman, letting him know his order was coming up. He met the delivery man in the hall so Helena wouldn’t be disturbed.

  With the food on the kitchen bar, he went to stand over Helena, wondering if he should wake her. She was sleeping so peacefully. But if he let her remain there her neck would hurt in the morning. Deciding she needed sleep more than food, he lifted her and carried her to his bedroom. He laid her on the bed, pulling a corner of the spread over her.

  * * *

  Two hours later Elijah was in his dim living room, half watching an old movie, when the sound of the shower running reached his ears. Helena was up. He didn’t move, continuing to leave his feet propped up on a stool in front of his chair. Helena would come to find him when she was ready.

  His body was aware of her the moment she entered the room. Elijah looked at her. She wore one of his T-shirts. It covered her to mid-thigh, and she looked sexier than he’d ever seen her. Her hair was still damp. Though he wanted to, now wasn’t the time to scoop her up and take her to bed.

  “Hey,” she said softly. “Sorry I went to sleep on you.” She continued toward him.

  “No problem. Feel better?” He turned the TV down.

  “Yeah.” She took a seat on the sofa and curled her legs under her. “I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed one of your T-shirts.”

  He smiled. “Not at all. It looks far better on you than it does me. I had food delivered while you were asleep, if you’re hungry.”

  “I hope you haven’t waited on me to eat.” She sounded disturbed.

  Elijah chuckled. Putting his feet down, he picked up his empty plate from the floor, showing it to her. “I’m not that nice a guy.” He put the plate down on the footstool.

  She gave him a weak smile. “Yeah, you are.”

  “I’m glad you think so after I forced you to come home with me.”

  She pushed a lock of hair away from her face. “I’m glad you did.”

  He had questions, but stopped himself from asking them. She seemed at ease. He wanted her to remain that way.

  Glancing at the TV, she asked, “So what’re you watching?”

  “The Bogie and Hepburn movie, The African Queen.”

  “I love that movie.” Suddenly she looked like the Helena he knew. Upbeat and positive.

  Elijah used the TV remote to turn up the sound. They watched the movie in silence. Never had he merely watched a movie with a woman he was having an affair with. With Helena the firsts were piling up. To his amazement that epiphany made him feel better about his life.

  During a commercial, he went to the kitchen and warmed a few pieces of pizza. Putting them on the coffee table in front of Helena, he settled on the sofa, careful not to crowd her. “You have to be hungry.”

  “I’m getting that way.” She took one of the slices and nibbled at the end.

  Elijah picked up a piece as well as they continued to watch. Helena finished hers then crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Cold?” he asked.

  “A little.”

  He moved closer, putting his arm around her shoulders then tugging the blanket over her legs. “Better?”

  She snuggled against him, laying her head on his shoulder. “Much.”

  They stayed like that until the end of the movie.

  “Would you like to watch something else?” Elijah asked.

  “No, I think I’d like to go to bed.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks.”

  “For what?”

  She shrugged. “Just being you.”

  Just being you. When was the last time he’d felt good about himself? Before he’d become his father’s co-conspirator. He gave her a gentle kiss. “Not a problem. Come on. I’m tired too.”

  Elijah followed her down the hall and into his room. He watched the gentle sway of her hips. When she turned to face him, he looked deep into her eyes. “I want to be near you but I know something’s bothering you. If you’d rather I sleep in the other room, I’ll understand.”

  She cupped his cheek. “I want your touch. To be held by you.” A gentle come-hither kiss followed.

  That was all the invitation he required. Seconds later her T-shirt lay on the floor. As she climbed into bed, he let his clothing drop free, then joined her. His tender kiss came from an unfamiliar emotion that made him feel insecure.

  Elijah wanted to take her pain and make it his own. Her hands slipped around him and were massaging his back. She whimpered her pleasure as his fingertips lightly trailed over her side, up her hip and along her thigh. Planting kisses on her forehead, her eyes, the tip of her nose, he found her lips again. Each caress came from compassion deep within him. He’d never felt it so strongly or been willing to share it with another woman. It was important that Helena trusted him.

  After a stimulating spell of touches and whispers that left Elijah straining to remain rational and Helena desperately begging for more, he rested her against the pillows. Pulling back, he gazed at her face.

  He waited for her to open her eyes. A flame of desire burned brightly but there was also uncertainty. “I want you to know it’s me giving you pleasure.” Why that mattered he didn’t know. It hadn’t before. Elijah watched and memorized every nuance and reaction that flickered in her eyes as he slowly entered her. With a sigh, he filled her.

  In that moment, something within him broke, changed. It wasn’t about him for once, it was all about Helena. What she needed. What he could give her. What they were together.

  Some time later he lay holding her close. Their physical involvement had reached a level he wasn’t sure he could put words to. It was in a league of its own. The emotional attachment was beyond his comfort zone or understanding. There was something almost healing about it.

  Helena shifted beside him. Her head was on his shoulder and her arm circled his waist.

  He brushed her hair back from her face. “I know it’s none of my business.”

  Her body tensed.

  She didn’t say anything and he continued, “I wish you’d tell me what you were so upset about today. I’ve been racking my brain for an answer. Was it me? Did something happen with the case I didn’t see? Did someone say something? I’d like to help.”

  She slid the palm of her hand over his middle and he captured it.

  “You did just a few minutes ago,” she murmured. “You were tender and sweet. Cared about me.”

  His chest swelled with pride. He was gratified she felt that way. “I’m glad I could make you happy but you still haven’t explained to me what was wrong.”

  She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You didn’t do anything, nor did anyone else for that matter. It was just the
circumstances that got to me.”

  He wished she’d been looking at him but he wasn’t going to insist for fear she’d stop talking. The need to know her problem had eaten at him all evening. He had his secrets but he didn’t like the idea that Helena was keeping any from him. Waiting, he willed her to continue.

  Finally she said softly, “The girl today could have been me.”

  What? Of all the things she could have said that wasn’t one he would have imagined. He worked to maintain his relaxed position, not to overreact. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because I was a pregnant teen. If it hadn’t been for the love of my parents it could have been me on the street, alone.”

  “You have a child?” He wasn’t sure how he felt about that possibility. Children had never entered his life plans because he’d never intended to have the kind of committed relationship necessary for them. For him both parents should be involved in a child’s life. He made a point of not staying with a woman that long. But he was becoming more attached to Helena. Had wondered about prolonging their relationship. Her having a child had his warning bells going off. Were her parents raising it? Had she given it up for adoption?

  She sniffed. “I lost her at seven months.”

  No wonder she had been so upset about the case. It had to have been like it was happening all over again for her. Some cases hit too close to home. In the emergency department the staff had no control over what the next case might be. He hugged her gently and kissed her temple. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I didn’t know until she was gone how much I cared.” She was silent for so long he wondered if she might be sleeping then she said, “I loved my boyfriend so much. Worshipped him. I truly believed we would be together forever. I always wanted to be a doctor. He planned to be a lawyer. We had it all worked out. Just like two kids can. Then I fell pregnant. That hadn’t been part of the plan. My parents were devastated. I can still see the disappointment on their faces. Yet they loved me and stood by me.

  “I can’t say the same for my boyfriend. It didn’t take long for him to decide that he hadn’t bargained on the responsibility of a baby. The love he’d sworn he had for me was soon gone. When I lost the baby he was nowhere to be found. I thought I’d be glad the baby was gone. That my life would be easier.” She paused then said, “Instead, I was devastated.”

  Elijah’s jaw clenched in his effort to keep from saying aloud what he thought about the boy who had left her to face everything alone. He wouldn’t have done that. But wasn’t he doing with Helena the same thing her boyfriend had done, minus the baby? Enjoying her, then being done with her when the fun was over? A dirty feeling washed over him.

  What if Helena was pregnant? To his surprise, the thought left him with a warm feeling quickly followed by terror. She would be a great mother, but could he say the same about his parenting skills? He would take responsibility for his child. But wasn’t that what his father had done? For the first time Elijah saw that situation in a different light. At least his father had seen to his child, not run and hidden from what he had done. He had stuck by Miranda.

  Had Miranda’s mother had the same fears and hurts when she’d discovered she was pregnant? Been worried his father would abandon her? Elijah had never considered Miranda’s mother’s side of the story.

  Both her experience and Helena’s must have been terrifying. Helena was tender hearted and to have not only been left by someone who’d vowed to loved her but to lose the baby she’d cared for must have been devastating. The fact she had become such a strong person afterwards said a great deal about her character. Miranda’s mother must have been equally as strong.

  “I wouldn’t have made it without my family,” she whispered. “My parents helped me out of a dark place. With their encouragement I enrolled in college. That gave me direction. Then all my focus went into medical school. That created the ER doctor who almost fell apart in the middle of an emergency.”

  She sounded so pitiful, disgusted with herself. He wanted to make it better but knew he couldn’t. The best he could offer was encouragement. “But you did your job anyway. You saved that girl’s life.”

  Shifting, she looked up at him and breathed, “The baby?”

  “It’ll be touch and go for a long time but with any luck she will make it.”

  Helena’s smile was weak, but at least it was a smile. “A girl.” There was a dreamy sound to the words.

  When Helena met the right man, she would be an amazingly loving mother. His mouth soured. The image of another man holding and loving her left him cold. But it shouldn’t have bothered him at all. Theirs was a week-long relationship, nothing more.

  She kissed his chest and gave his middle a squeeze. “Thank you for saving her.”

  Silently he held her until she was sleeping peacefully. He couldn’t help but admire her ability to remain open to the world and its possibilities after her terrible introduction to adulthood. Had he done that? Why would he even wonder that? He had no doubt the answer was no. He’d chosen to close himself off. Even after all these years since his father’s betrayal he still carried the burden of having hurt those he loved. But had he also misjudged his father? Maybe everything wasn’t as black and white as he had always believed it was.

  One thing for sure, Helena had courage. Far more than he did. She’d faced her past and had moved on with hope for the future. Had he? Wasn’t he still living in the past? Brooding over it? Isolating himself? Letting it control his present and future?

  He’d mocked her at the wedding but in truth he was the one who should have been made fun of. Helena was willing to take a chance on love after the devastation she’d experienced, while he had closed off his heart and pushed away anyone who might love him. How sad had he become, to the point he’d pulled a good woman into a cheap fling for his own selfish reasons.

  He looked at Helena. She deserved better than him but he was enjoying their fling far more than he had anticipated. To his surprise he liked being the person she confided in. He’d allowed their relationship to go to a new level. Even with it being out of his comfort zone, he wasn’t ready for it to end. He would have to give her up soon but would another day hurt?

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  HELENA WOKE WRAPPED in Elijah’s arms. Warm and content, she had a beautiful view through Elijah’s large windows of a steady snowfall. This was where she belonged. It was the perfect way to start the day.

  She glanced at his bedside clock. It was almost noon. They had slept nearly twelve hours. It had been a wildly unusual week and spilling her story had added to the emotional overload. She didn’t make a habit of sharing her past. In a weak moment she’d told Grace some of what had happened to her but not all of it. Not once had she even hinted at it to a man she was dating. So why had she told Elijah? By the definition of dating they weren’t. Their time together was about touching, kisses and satisfaction.

  But was that true? She certainly couldn’t have asked for a more understanding, caring person than Elijah had been last night. The concern in his eyes had squeezed at her heart. He’d loved her so tenderly, listened so attentively and had seemed to genuinely care about her.

  They did have a real relationship. One she would grieve the loss of when it was over. The kind Elijah wanted nothing to do with. He’d made it clear more than once their affair shouldn’t be taken seriously. He’d even set a time limit.

  She had made a mistake. A life-altering one. She had agreed to the boundaries. What she hadn’t planned on was falling in love with Elijah. And she was. With every fiber in her being she was in love. What would she do now?

  She looked at Elijah. Dark, full brows created a line only broken by his long, straight nose. His eyelashes lay like fans on his cheeks. His dusky beard shadow had thickened during the night, softening the sharp ridges of his face. His hair was tousled like a little boy’s, one who refused to let any
one brush it.

  He was a striking man but that wasn’t what she loved most about him. She cherished what was inside him. The part he didn’t often allow to show, made a point of hiding. Elijah lived by a code not to let people know he cared. Deeply. Yet last night he’d slipped up. His armor had cracked and he’d let her in.

  Would he ever admit that? She was sure he wouldn’t. That would mess up his self-imposed rules of not getting involved or showing emotion. Could she help him dismantle the shell so they might find happiness together? She had today and two more before their time was up. If she made the most of them, slowly chiseled away at that crack, showed him what they could be like together, maybe she could squeeze through to his heart.

  “Hey.”

  Helena met his gaze. “Mornin’.”

  “I like the sound of ‘morning’ when you drop the ‘g.’” His voice was husky, sexy.

  “And I like waking up with you...on a snowy morning.” She glanced at the window. The word really should have been love instead of like. “It’s really closer to afternoon.”

  He shifted to look at the clock and settled again. “That’s a fact. It’s a good thing we have the day off. Since we do, I think I’d like to stay here until the afternoon is official.” One of his fingers circled her nipple before he gently tugged it.

  It immediately rose to attention. Her breasts grew heavy and blood rushed to her center. Elijah played her body like a musical instrument. She rolled into him, kissing him. “I have no problem with that.”

  An hour later, Helena was standing in the kitchen with the refrigerator door open. “You really don’t have anything in here to eat.” All she could see was a carton of milk, three slices of cheese and a few condiments. “This might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  Elijah chuckled as he pulled a sweatshirt over his head. It would have suited her just fine for him to go shirtless. He came to stand across the counter from her. “I told you.”