Wherever You Will Go

by Stephanie Smith

  I turn, to pour my coffee. Harper steps into the staff room as I stir in my milk.

  “What are you humming?” she asks as she heads to the fridge.

  “I didn’t realise I was humming?”

  “You’re always humming lately.”

  “What does that mean?” I turn to face her.

  “Nothing, Brooke. You just seem to be doing well. Humming is a sign of happiness, and you’ve been doing it a lot lately. Obviously you’re doing it without even realising. Must mean you’re doing better.” She says the last bit quietly.

  I can’t help but think of Saxon. Is he the reason for my humming? Am I happy? I’m definitely not moping around anymore. I wouldn’t say I’m happy all the time, and I definitely still think of Nate constantly, but am I feeling less depressed? Stronger even?

  Saxon and I have been discreet with our new relationship, if that’s what you’d call it, so I know she isn’t referring to him, but is he the reason?

  Harper interrupts my thoughts. “Hey, the girls and I are going to try a new club tonight. You should come, bring Rachel.”

  “I’m not sure…” I trail off, hating that I was about to turn down plans with friends just in case I might be seeing Saxon tonight. What the hell? This is a casual fling and shouldn’t be a priority above me going out and having a good time.

  “Nothing sinister, Brooke. Just us girls, a few drinks, and some dancing.” Harper has misunderstood what I was saying, and I’m glad to let her keep thinking that way.

  “It sounds great, Harper. I’ll give Rach a call, I’m sure she’d love to come since we haven’t spent much time together since I started working here.”

  “Awesome,” she squeals excitedly. “I’ll email you the deets later. It’ll be so much fun, and apparently the club is awesome. All dark, dirty, and grungy.” She grins as she leaves the staff room.

  Awesome. It sounds totally not like me.

  I hurry back to my office in a rush to call Rachel and make sure she can come. I’ll cope so much better if I have her by my side. She’s the type of person who can fit into any environment; posh, grunge, or geek, she can pull them all off. I scream innocence and simplicity and know I’ll stand out like dog balls at a place like this.

  Placing my coffee on my desk, I quickly call Rachel’s office and ask to be connected to her.

  “Hey, babe,” she answers happily.

  “Hey, Rach, are you busy?”

  “No, I have a few. What’s up?” she asks.

  “Harper has invited us out for a girls’ night. There’s a new club downtown she wants to try out. Wanna come?”

  “Are you going?” she asks dubiously.

  “Of course I’m going. I said come with, not go. Why would I ask you if I wasn’t going?”

  “Hell yes!” she screeches in my ear. “I can’t believe it. I’m so excited.”

  “So that’s a yes?” I chuckle.

  “Don’t be a bitch. I feel like I’ve barely seen you over the past month. Also, it’s been so bloody long since we’ve had a girls’ night I can’t even remember when the last one was,” she says, starting to calm down.

  “It was Claire’s bachelorette party,” I tell her.

  “Hasn’t she been married for over two years?” Rachel asks, disgust clear in her voice.

  “Yes.” I laugh into the phone.

  “No wonder I’m so excited. Two years since a girls’ night out. That’s just ridiculous.”

  I laugh at her again before telling her to be at my place by eight o’clock so she can help me get ready. She assures me I’ll have an outfit to wear and she’ll sort me out.

  After hanging up with Rachel there’s a sense of relief. A girls’ night out. Yeah, that does sound nice.

  I turn to look out my glorious window. I’ll never tire of the beautiful view I’m blessed to sit in front of every day. Looking at the luscious parklands below, I watch people milling about.

  I wonder what they are thinking. What plays on their minds constantly throughout their day while they’re walking down the street?

  As I’m daydreaming, my door flies open, and I turn my chair quickly only to see the person who plagues my thoughts daily.

  Saxon Reed. He strolls in my office like he owns the place; he’s the only person who never knocks. He makes his way over to the chair in front of my desk and settles himself in it with a huge smile on his face.

  I can’t help but return his smile. It’s so contagious and still surprises me every time I see it. “What’s up?”

  “So I was thinking we should finish on time tonight and instead of grabbing takeaway we could actually go out. A nice restaurant, maybe a cocktail bar after?” His eyes gleam with excitement.

  Saxon and I haven’t spent a lot of time out in public. We mostly spend our time here at the office or sometimes at his apartment. We never go to my house. I think it’s another unspoken rule between us after I freaked out the first night we were together about him wanting to stay.

  He sits, waiting on my response, and his excitement begins to shift when I don’t return his enthusiasm straight away.

  “Actually, I’m going out tonight,” I tell him quietly.

  “Going out where?” he asks, his smile falling and the corner of his mouth tipping up in thought.

  “There’s this new club opened up downtown and …”

  “Who with?” he interrupts me.

  “Harper, Rachel, and the girls.” His body instantly relaxes, and I’m sure he’s relieved it’s not another man.

  “Right, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just assume.”

  “It’s fine,” I blurt out. “It doesn’t really sound like my kind of thing, but I haven’t seen Rach for so long, and I feel bad turning down Harper again since she has been bugging me to go out since I started here.”

  Saxon stands. “That’s great, Brooke. Have a lovely night with the girls.” He turns to leave, but stops at the door. “Be safe, Brooke.” He doesn’t look back as he exits my office.

  The knot in my stomach tightens, and I’m not sure if it’s because I might have upset him or because I won’t be seeing him again until Monday.

  I shake those thoughts quickly from my head. I can’t be thinking like that.

  Freshly showered and dried, I stand in front of my en-suite mirror applying body lotions and perfume. The doorbell rings and I quickly throw my silk robe on as I make my way to the front door.

  Swinging it open, I find my best friend standing there, tall, blond, and beautiful in black leather pants and a bright red halter-top. Her hair is teased, and she has easily pulled off the punk rocker look while still looking smokin’.

  “Wow, Rach. You look hot,” I tell her in awe.

  “I know, right?” She laughs as she enters.

  Closing the door behind us, I follow her through to the kitchen as she throws a shopping bag onto my counter. Glass bangs together and I wonder what she is doing. She pulls out a bottle of Midori and a bottle of Malibu rum, giving me her most mischievous smile. I should’ve known.

  “Just a little something to get us started.” She winks at me and begins riffling through the cupboards.

  “Shot glasses are still in the cupboard above the fridge and pineapple juice and whipped cream is in the fridge,” I tell her before making my way back to my bedroom.

  Scooby Snack shots were our thing in college. Being expensive to drink out, we would load up before leaving the dorms, and it would hold us until the night was over.

  I doubt this still worked for Rachel as she could drink more than most men, but I was a lightweight, barely drinking anymore, and was sure it would still send me over.

  By the time I’ve finished in the bathroom, Rachel has made her way in carrying six shots on a tray. She places it on my dresser, grabs two off and hands me one. Holding hers up, she toasts, “To girls’ night; bring it on,” she says, throwing her shot back. I giggle at her and follow suit. Yum.

  “Now what are you going to wear?” she asks me as sh
e makes her way to the closet, handing me her empty glass as she goes. I place hers, along with mine, on the tray and head over to my closet where clothes are already being thrown around.

  “I really want to be comfortable,” I tell her as I enter the closet.

  “Here,” she says, throwing my favourite black skinny jeans at me. Thank God. She then hands me a loose fitting silk black singlet.

  “All black? Is it going to be that grunge?” Apparently Rachel knew of the new club we were going to.

  “This way you can be comfortable, fit in at the club, but also fit in if we decide to head somewhere else.” Good thinking.

  Rachel bends over and grabs my bright blue high heels and matching clutch. “This enough colour for you?” she asks sarcastically.

  “Shut up.” I grab my shoes and clutch and leave the closet. I can’t hide my excitement. I purchased the shoes for a wedding last year and haven’t been able to wear them since. What better occasion than a girls’ night out?

  Quickly dressing, I stand in front of my mirror. I decided to straighten my hair tonight, which pulls it down to the lower part of my back. Going heavy on my makeup with dark smokey eyes, I’m pleased with what I see.

  Rachel steps up behind me, handing me another shot. “Hot,” she says nodding her head at me.

  “I know, right?” I laugh, imitating her earlier statement.

  Rachel laughs, and we both throw back our second shot before heading to the tray and picking up our third. “Here’s to getting laid,” she toasts. I look at her with wide eyes. “Well, me anyway.”

  My face falls. I miss Saxon. I throw my shot back, angry at myself for even thinking of him. You don’t miss your fuck buddy when heading out on a night with the girls. I think it’s just missing Nate and being in a relationship, and drawing those feelings and putting them onto the relationship I have with Saxon. Yes, I know that’s all this is.

  Rachel and I head to the kitchen and each have a couple more shots while we wait for the taxi.

  Pulling up to the club, it’s nothing at all like Harper explained. It’s an old but newly renovated building with a beautiful gold and glass canopy over the double-door entrance.

  The line to get in is long and almost reaches the corner. I glance down the queue of people waiting to get in and observe how they are all dressed a little flash for a grungy club.

  Harper is waiting by the door and flailing her arms about, trying to get our attention. I’m a little shaky on my legs as I step forward to meet her. Those shots have definitely kicked in and having to wait in line makes me wish I had taken it a bit slower.

  “Hi, babe,” Harper says as she throws her arms around me. “You know Grace and Sheree?” She asks gesturing to the two girls standing with her.

  “Hi, nice to meet you.” I give both the blondes a small wave and awkward smile. “Thanks for waiting,” I say to Harper, even though I had kind of hoped she was already in the line.

  “No worries, our names are down as a group so we need to all go in together.”

  Harper moves towards the door and speaks to the bouncer before I can even question her. I’m so happy we don’t have to line up that I don’t worry too much about why.

  The bouncer pulls the rope away and ushers us through the door. We make our way down a dark hall with various doors on either side of it until we enter a huge room off to the left. I look around, once again confused at our surroundings.

  “Are you sure this is the right place?” I ask, leaning into the back of Rachel and yelling into her ear.

  The room is huge with a stage to the left, a DJ currently occupying it. There is a large dance floor in front of the stage surrounded by tall round tables and tall bar chairs. The walls of the room are covered with black leather booths and gold tables. This is not at all grungy, and I wonder if Harper has made a mistake.

  As we make our way to the bar I see her talking into the ear of the hostess who is wearing tight black pants and a tight black blouse. Even though this is a club and she looks sexy as hell, she also looks classy and sophisticated. Harper definitely has the wrong place.

  The waitress nods at her and then guides us to the stairs leading up to the second level. There’s a sign saying no entry to guests. As we make our way up, I see the same leather booths lining the walls and small tables and chairs lining the glass railing that looks over the dance floor and first floor.

  The hostess takes us to a small roped off area which reads VIP. She pulls back the ropes and gestures for us to sit. Rachel and I look questioningly at each other before we then look to Harper. She seems relaxed and carefree, not at all baffled by the special treatment we’re getting.

  We give the waitress our orders, and I go to hand my money to her as she shakes her head and mouths it’s on the house. I drop my hand holding the money and look pointedly at Harper. She didn’t say anything about this. Harper gives me a wide smile and just winks at me. She winks at me like this isn’t the weirdest thing that has ever happened.

  Placing my money back into my purse, I then look at Rachel with an annoyed face. I hate not knowing what to expect and not knowing what is going on. Rachel just shrugs as she continues bopping her head to the music. She’s always happy to just go with the flow.

  I blow out a frustrated breath. Why does this bother me so much? Why can’t I just go with the flow? Because I have a feeling someone is messing with me, that’s why.

  A young waitress approaches carrying a tray full of shots and our ordered drinks. She sets the tray in the middle of the table, and Harper begins placing two shots in front of each of us while we grab our drinks.

  I sip slowly from my Cosmo, knowing I’m already a little tipsy and I’m going to have to take those shots of Harper’s. I stare down the little red drinks knowing how this night is probably going to end.

  “What are these?” I ask Harper, but I don’t take my suspicious eyes off the shots in front of me.

  “Cherry bombs.” She chuckles as she finishes setting everyone’s drinks in front of them.

  She holds one up in the air. “Cheers, girls. Here’s to a good night of dancing, gossiping, and hot men.”

  “Here, here,” Rachel says as she swallows her shot back.

  I watch the other girls all follow in line and decide why not. I pick up my shot and take a little taste. Wow, there’s definitely something cherry in there. I swallow it back, instantly reaching for the second one and polishing that off too.

  “Woo. Go, Brooke,” Rachel screams, and I roll my eyes. I know I don’t drink often, but this isn’t college. No need to make a scene. Plus, we are in the VIP section of this very fancy not-at-all-grungy club, and I don’t want to embarrass myself. Not that there is anyone else up here to embarrass myself in front of.

  An hour passes in the blink of an eye, along with six shots and two Cosmos. I’m happy and enjoying the girls company immensely. Grace and Sheree are just like Harper, and we haven’t stopped laughing, so much my stomach aches.

  “I’m going to head to the bathroom,” I tell the table as I stand from the booth.

  “I’ll join you,” Rachel says as she follows me out.

  We head towards the bathroom and now that I have stood my head is getting lighter with every step I take. Thank God there is no line for the toilets up here and Rachel and I just walk straight in.

  Heading into a stall each, I undo my jeans and practically fall onto the toilet seat before I have them all the way down. My head feels heavy and I drop it down between my knees as my body sways from side to side.

  Standing up and walking around has definitely sent all those drinks to my head, and I can’t help the goofy grin on my face at the fact that I’m drunk for the first time in years.

  Finishing up, I stand from the toilet and right myself again before exiting the stall to the basins. Rachel is already there, washing her hands, and I look at her through heavy eyes. How can she be so bright and chirpy? She drank as much as I did.

  “You all right, babe?” she asks a
s she looks at me in the mirror.

  “I think I’m drunk,” I tell her, slurring my words.

  “Yeah, babe, you are definitely drunk. Feels good, doesn’t it?” She laughs at me.

  I can’t help the dopey smile which overtakes my face as I wash my hands. “It does.”

  “Come on, pisshead.”

  Following her out of the bathroom and back towards our booth, it’s empty. Rachel obviously notices the same as both our eyes go down over the railing to the dance floor below. I instantly spot Grace and Sheree’s bleach-blond heads and point to them, indicating their whereabouts to Rachel.

  “Looks like it’s dance time,” Rachel says with a smirk on her face. She knows I’m not a huge dancer, but she fails to realise how drunk I really am.

  “Sure is.” I smile smugly at her as I turn for the stairs.

  I hold onto the railing and take each step one concentrated ledge at a time. I don’t think I even realised how drunk I was. Hearing Rachel’s laugh behind me, I decide dancing is a must to burn off some of this alcohol.

  She grabs my hand and pulls me through the throng of people to Harper and the girls. As soon as we reach them we begin moving in time to the music together, Rachel still clutching my hand.

  Seemingly satisfied I can stand on my own, she slowly releases me, and we all stand in a circle and begin moving with the crowd around us.

  After twenty minutes of dancing I decide to grab us a few bottles of water. I mimic the drink motion and nod my head towards the bar.

  The girls all nod in understanding and I slowly make my way to the bar, dodging and avoiding all the other people dancing. Some couples dancing so closely they are practically groping each other on the dance floor.

  Luckily I find a small vacant spot between a guy and girl and push my way straight up to the bar, leaning my elbows on it and glancing around at my surroundings as I wait for the bartender to make his way down to me.