The Story of the Blue Planet

by Andri Snaer Magnason

  “Well, hello there, Brimir, and you too, Hulda! Aren’t you in a good mood? Shall I tell you a joke? My goodness you do look smart.”

  “What do you mean, smart?” asked Brimir, forgetting to correct his name.

  “You’re so silver gray-haired, and she’s more stoney-gray, very smart.”

  “You think it’s cool for a child to have gray hair?”

  “Do I think it’s cool? Gray’s in fashion. Where have you been?” asked Jolly-Goodday, shocked.

  “We were in the darkness on the other side…”

  But Brimir was unable to finish the sentence. Jolly-Goodday picked up his loudspeaker.

  “Time for a joke!”

  He brayed so loud their ears began to pop.

  “What’s brown and says ‘Bee Gee’?”

  “WHAT?” could be heard in unison from the flying children.

  “A brown Bee-Gee! Ha HaHaHaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha!”

  Jolly-Goodday lay in the sand, splitting his sides with laughter.

  “We really must speak to the others,” said Hulda, nudging Jolly-Goodday with her toe.

  Jolly-Goodday was astonished.

  “Why do you need to talk? Don’t you want more fun and more jokes?”

  “We have to tell the kids something important.”

  Jolly-Goodday handed Hulda the loudspeaker and she shouted into the air:

  “Guys! Come here, we need to talk to you.”

  “We can’t come right now, it’s so dull if we stop flying. Tell us a joke!”

  Hulda called out to them again, but the kids wouldn’t listen.

  “I know how to deal with these kiddyflies,” said Jolly-Goodday, taking the loudspeaker.

  “If you don’t come right now I’ll have the fierce wolf eat you!”

  The children hurried down from the sky and gathered in a large group in front of Jolly-Goodday.

  “And about time too,” said Jolly-Goodday.

  For the first time Brimir and Hulda now saw the faces of their friends again, and what Jolly-Goodday had said was true. Gray was indisputably in fashion. Everyone had become gray-haired. Magni’s black hair was turned wolf-gray, and Elva’s brown hair was as gray as dust.

  “I thought it was our adventure in the darkness that had made us gray-haired, but why are they gray-haired too?” whispered Brimir to Hulda.

  “They wish to talk to us,” said Jolly-Goodday, pointing at Hulda and Brimir.

  “Oh, we don’t want any talking, except if we get more fun and games in return.”

  “They’ll be very quick,” said Jolly-Goodday.

  Brimir and Hulda told the kids the whole story of the sun. How they had been blown into the darkness on the other side of the planet where the forest was blacker than coffee, and how they narrowly escaped from bears and hairy spiders thanks to the Teflon® wonder stuff.

  “Hooray for Jolly-Goodday and Teflon® wonder stuff, which saved Hulda’s and Brimir’s lives,” shouted the children. “Now can we go?”

  “We haven’t finished our story yet.”

  Brimir and Hulda told their friends about the home delivery service of the wild animals, and they told them about Darrow in the hyena’s mouth, and about the poor pale children who were dying from hunger and cold sitting in the darkness waiting for the sun.

  “Glad you’re both back anyway,” said the children. “Let’s carry on flying, ha ha ha ha ha.”

  Brimir held out both his arms and stopped them.

  “Didn’t you hear our story, kids?”

  “Yes, thanks, it was fun, ha ha ha ha ha.”

  “But what about the children in the darkness who are starving and shivering with cold in a dying forest? Shouldn’t we help them?”

  The kids shrugged their shoulders.

  “How can we help them?” asked Elva innocently. “We’re only children.”

  “Somebody must do something sometime,” said Woody decisively, “but right now I’m missing out on some great flying time.”

  “Don’t you care about the children in the darkness?”

  “Are they also gray-haired?” asked Elva.

  “No, they’ve just got ordinary hair,” said Hulda.

  The kids burst out laughing.

  “How awful! Don’t they keep up with the latest fashion?”

  “Weren’t you listening to what we were saying? They’re dying,” cried Hulda.

  “Do you know what to do?” asked Woody, “I can’t think of anything.”

  “I think it’s best if we remove the nail from the sun,” said Brimir.

  One could hear a pin drop, the sound of feathers falling.

  “REMOVE THE NAIL FROM THE SUN?” asked the children, gaping.

  “Remove the nail from the sun?” asked Jolly-Goodday, gaping.

  “And we must stop the wolf from chasing all the boring clouds over onto the other side of the planet,” said Hulda.

  “And we must let the butterflies fly again,” said Brimir.

  “Are you crazy?” asked the children. “Do you want us to die of boredom?”

  “Otherwise the children on the other side will die of hunger in the cold and dark.”

  “You believe us, don’t you, Jolly-Goodday?” asked Brimir. “You’ll know how to save the children in the darkness. You have the answer to everything.”

  Who Owns the Sun?

  Jolly-Goodday stood on the beach with a kindly smile. He patted Brimir on the head.

  “Oh, my poor dears, I’d forgotten you are such little children and see things in such a simplistic way. You all think it’s great fun to fly, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” said the children.

  “Isn’t it more fun than anything else?”

  “Ye-e-es!”

  “And who taught you to fly?”

  “You did, Jolly-Goodday.”

  “And who wanted to fly?”

  “We wanted to fly, it was our most treasured dream.”

  “And the butterflies are on your land?”

  “Our land? Is it possible to own land?”

  “Yes, you own the land where the butterflies live and that’s why you may do what you want with the butterflies. And if the others want to see the butterflies fly over their land then they must pay for it, because you own the butterflies. You’re not going to stop flying unless they pay you to.”

  “Pay us? With what?”

  “They can pay with gold.”

  “What do you do with gold?”

  “You store it where no one else can see it.”

  The children thought this very strange.

  “And what about the sun? Who owns the sun? It didn’t start anywhere and never stops shining anywhere, but goes ring after ring and shines equally on all of the planet; that is until we had it fastened down with a nail,” said Brimir.

  “You own the sun, of course. The idea to nail down the sun was ours and if the others want the sun for a few days a year, then they’ll have to pay for it.”

  The children thought about this for quite a while.

  “In other words, the children on the other side really owe us gold for having been able to see the butterflies for free for hundreds of years,” said Arnar the thinker.

  “Exactly,” said Jolly-Goodday. “Don’t you think that’s fair?”

  Brimir and Hulda looked a little bewildered.

  “We don’t quite understand,” they said. “That can’t be right.”

  Jolly-Goodday heaved a sigh.

  “I’ll explain it to you in baby talk, since you’re being so stupid. Do you want to stop flying and have everything as boring as it was in the old days?”

  “No,” mumbled everyone except Hulda and Brimir, who shuffled their feet uneasily.

  “Do you remember how boring it was here before I came?”

  “Yes, it was deadly dull.”

  “And do you remember what Hulda and Brimir said when I landed here?”

  “They said you were a horrible man-eating space monster with fourteen heads and ten ears and
sharp tusks.”

  “You see how they let their imagination run away with them? I turned out not to be a monster but the highly amusing Jolly-Goodday, and the children on the other side are definitely nowhere near as badly off as Brimir says they are, even though the sun is fixed above us. The children on the other side have the moon and stars.”

  “But the clouds the wolf drives away from us hide the stars and the moon on the other side,” cried Brimir.

  “Do you hear that, kids? The children on the other side have the moon and stars and all the clouds, and we have only the sun. And now what do they want? They want to have the sun for half a day too! What nerve!”

  Brimir and Hulda protested.

  “But the children on the other side live in eternal darkness!”

  “And what did you tell the children on the other side?”

  There was a long silence before Hulda muttered, “We told the children on the other side that there was eternal darkness here too.”

  “And that we looked so brown because we ate only soil,” added Brimir.

  “Did you hear that, kids? They told the children in the darkness that we live in darkness, and then they tell us that there’s darkness there. What can we believe? Are they perhaps always lying? First they see a space monster, then they see children in darkness. If I hadn’t given them the Teflon® wonder stuff and butterfly powder, Brimir and Hulda would’ve been eaten by wild animals. Unless, of course, that was a lie too. And they call this gratitude!”

  Jolly-Goodday had become really annoyed.

  “There seems to be only one way to solve this problem. We must vote on it.”

  “Vote?”

  “Then we’ll know what the majority wants, and the majority is always right and should decide whether or not everything should continue to be fun. That’s only fair, isn’t it? Or maybe you two want to rule all on your own?”

  “No, the majority must be right,” said Brimir and Hulda.

  The Elections

  The kids looked at Hulda and Brimir who looked dejectedly down at the ground. Jolly-Goodday began to speak:

  “My dear kids, before you vote I’m going to tell the truth once and for all. Although the sun is always on our side of the planet there is as much sunshine on the planet, on average, according to an index-calculated aggregate year, while bearing in mind the reported latest figures from the development process, which are within a 2% repository of bull and blarney, and when multiplied forty-five times and subtracted from the irritating hot air bull aspect of price equalizing regulatory procedures …”

  “Hee, hee, I can’t understand a word he’s saying,” giggled a little girl.

  “Oh, my poor little thing, you are so silly,” said Jolly-Goodday, patting her on the head. You don’t have to understand me, you just have to believe and trust me. Look up at the blue sky. Listen to the birds. See the golden sun and the red apples and the green trees. Everything is fine the way it is! The island has never been more beautiful!”

  Jolly-Goodday continued:

  “If you want to keep up the same fun and games then we must fully utilize the sun. We must not remove the nail from it. There’s as much happiness in the world now as there was previously, it’s just been readjusted. We get just a bit MORE happiness, and the children on the other side of the planet get just a little less happiness.”

  “But the forest on the other side is dying and the children too,” said Brimir. “We mustn’t let that happen. Magni, you believe us, don’t you?”

  “Ha ha ha, huh, hm. Maybe Brimir has a point,” said Magni cautiously. “Perhaps we should help the children on the other side.”

  Jolly-Goodday yawned.

  “I can of course remove the nail and fix the sun again on the other side of the planet. It’s the easiest thing in the world to do.”

  “Then we’d end up in everlasting darkness and cold!” shouted the children.

  “That’s none of my concern. The children on the other side will certainly want to have a fun time if you don’t.”

  “But the kids on the other side would never let us end up in everlasting darkness,” said Elva.

  There was a long silence.

  “Well, kids, do you think this is fun right now?” asked Jolly-Goodday.

  “No, we want to get back to flying as soon as possible,” answered most of them.

  “Are you going to let Brimir and Hulda spoil all the fun for you? There will never be any fun again if the nail is removed from the sun, not to mention if you return the butterfly powder. Hurry up and vote so that you can carry on flying.”

  Hulda was on the verge of tears.

  “Guys! Don’t let him fool you. He doesn’t care about the children in the darkness. He doesn’t want to save them. He just talks his way out of things with glib tricks.”

  The children looked straight at Jolly-Goodday. Surely he didn’t want the children in the darkness to die?

  Jolly-Goodday put on a very sad expression.

  “I most truly want to help the children in the darkness. It’s precisely Brimir and Hulda who don’t want to help them. They want to have ME remove the nail from the sun and let the children in the darkness fend for themselves.”

  “What do you want to do?” asked Brimir dejectedly.

  “If we all pull together and send the children in the darkness food and blankets and shoes, then we’ll save their lives and we can still keep the nail in the sun. Then everyone will be happy!”

  “Wow, how clever Jolly-Goodday is,” said the children.

  But Brimir persisted with his argument.

  “And what happens when they’ve finished all the food we send them?”

  “Then we’ll save them again and again and again …”

  “That’s really neat,” said the children. “You’re not only incredibly clever, but also terribly kind.”

  Jolly-Goodday smiled affectionately.

  “Then let’s vote on it now. It’s your choice, dear children. If you vote for Brimir and Hulda then everything will be dull and boring again. If you vote for me the fun and games continue and we save the lives of the children on the other side of the planet.”

  And so the election began. The children received little ballot papers on which they had to choose who was right: Brimir and Hulda or Jolly-Goodday. The kids thought for a moment and placed their votes in the ballot box. The votes were counted and Jolly-Goodday announced the results, calling them out through the loudspeaker:

  “More than one hundred children want to keep the nail in the sun, fly in the blue sky with butterfly powder on their hands, be coated with Teflon® wonder stuff, and save the children on the other side of the planet by sending them food, blankets, and shoes.

  “Two want to return the butterfly powder, remove the nail from the sun, and have everything be BORING again.

  “We know exactly who they are.”

  “Hooray,” shouted the children. “More flying, more fun!”

  Brimir looked at his friend Magni, who looked away. Brimir’s eyes filled with tears. Hulda wanted to comfort him, but they were so slippery from the Teflon® wonder stuff that she couldn’t hug him or hold his hands. Then Hulda’s eyes filled with tears too.

  “Come with me,” she said to Brimir, sobbing.

  They walked along the river and came to the waterfall, which trickled into the canyon without any sound of a roar or any spray splashing upwards to help form a rainbow in the gorge. They pealed off the Teflon® wonder stuff from their bodies and threw it into the waterfall. They then held hands and hugged and watched while a tiny little spray formed and a low roar could be heard from the canyon and a tiny rainbow appeared in the mist, though still a hundred times smaller than the old one.

  “I’d forgotten how good it was to hold hands,” said Brimir, smiling at Hulda.

  They walked hand in hand up to the butterfly mountain and carefully peeped in through the cave opening. There slept the unsuspecting butterflies. The children dusted the butterfly powder off their h
ands and sprinkled it gently over a few butterfly wings. They then crept away and fell asleep in the shade of an oak tree.

  The Rescue Party

  While Brimir and Hulda slept under a tree, a tremendous rescue party was held on Black Beach to celebrate the election results. A barrel was to be filled with blankets and food and then thrown into the sea so that it would float over to the children on the other side of the planet and save their lives.

  “You don’t have to be sore losers and cry-babies like Hulda and Brimir, who don’t understand that the majority always knows best,” said Jolly-Goodday. “We can cheer up the children on the other side of the planet much better than they can.”

  “Hooray! Let’s cheer up the children in the darkness,” shouted the children in one voice.

  Jolly-Goodday rolled a barrel out of his spaceship, emptying some candy wrappers out of it first. He stood it up on the beach.

  “When we’ve filled this barrel, we’ll roll it out into the sea and it will float over to the pale hungry children.”

  The children hovered above the barrel.

  “I don’t need these shoes when I’m always flying,” said Magni, throwing his old shoes into the barrel.

  “And I don’t need a blanket as there’s always sunshine,” said Elva, throwing her blanket into the barrel.

  “And I can’t finish this apple,” said Woody, and he threw the remains of the apple into the barrel.

  Then they all ate as much as they could stuff themselves with. But at the height of the party some strange objects appeared on the horizon.

  “What are they?” asked the children, staring out to sea.

  Jolly-Goodday picked up his telescope and looked out over the ocean.

  “They’re crates and rafts. They must be coming out of the darkness on the other side of the planet!”

  Jolly-Goodday looked at the children and frowned.

  “I’ve traveled far and wide and seen many things, but I’ve never seen anything as serious as this. This is clearly an invading army. WAR has been declared!”

  “WAR? What’s that?”

  “War is when someone gets into such a bad temper that he turns the smell of the volcanoes and the iron in the mountains into bombs, which he then throws at everyone he doesn’t like.”