Skin: He wanted full contact

by Johanna Hawke

  This was it. In a matter of minutes, I could have a fiancé. Taking this next step both terrified and thrilled me, and I double- and triple-checked my pocket to make sure the ring was where I’d put it.

  “Hi, sweetheart,” Jerry said to Roni.

  “Daddy, what are you doing out here?” Roni said. “You should be taking it easy.”

  Jerry cleared his throat. “I wanted to show you something.”

  That was my cue. I looked up through the door at the perfect blue sky, took that as a good omen, and traded places with Roni’s dad on the porch.

  Roni was in a paint-covered smock but looked beautiful as ever. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “I didn’t see your car.” She looked around as if she was on some sort of hidden camera show and placed her tote bag and lunchbox on the hood of her car. “I didn’t realize you and my dad were so buddy-buddy now.”

  “We’re not…exactly,” I said, trying to sound as neutral as possible, knowing full well that Jerry was listening through the window. “I had to ask him a question.”

  “About what?”

  There had to have been just a few years between me and Roni, but it felt like a football field. I made my way off the porch and moved closer to her. “Roni, I love you,” I said, trying to remember the words I had rehearsed but hadn’t planned on using for at least another week or two. “You’ve made my life a whole lot better since you came back into it.”

  The puzzled look on Roni’s face told me she had no clue what was about to happen. “I love you, too, babe.”

  “I want our happily ever after. You deserve our happily ever after.” I drew in a breath. “If you’ll let me, I want to make you the happiest girl in the world.” As soon as the last word left my mouth, I got down onto one knee.

  “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh,” Roni whispered.

  I hoped and prayed that her whispers had a positive connotation, but I was too nervous to pay attention. I pulled the velvet box from my pocket, opened it up, and held it out to Roni. “Veronica Lynn Vance, will you marry me?”

  “Yes! Yes! Are you serious?”

  I was sure my heart was pounding a mile a minute, but I didn’t mind. “Of course. I love you, baby. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Roni jumped into my arms and knocked me onto the grass before I even had a chance to slip the ring on her finger. She clung to me and kissed every bit of my face, tears streaming down both of our cheeks. “Then, yes. I’d love to be Mrs. Jesse Parker.”

  I brushed off the grass and dirt from my khakis and helped Roni up from the ground. “Now, if this isn’t the ring you want, we can find another,” I said. “I know we didn’t exactly discuss what type of ring you wanted.”

  As I took the ring from its place in the box and began slipping it onto Roni’s ring finger, her crying turned into full-on sobs. “This is the ring I’ve been dreaming about,” she said between gasps. “I’ve been staring at that store window since I was sixteen, hoping someday this ring might be mine.” I stared at the gorgeous, one-of-a-kind ring, looking perfectly in place on Roni’s hand. It had a small cluster of diamonds on each side of the bigger diamond, all connected on a white-gold band.

  “Well, now it’s yours,” I said, beaming. “And you’re mine.”

  Roni took my face between her palms and kissed me hard just as her father emerged onto the porch carrying a bottle of champagne and three champagne glasses. I thought about mentioning to him that alcohol wasn’t really the best idea for someone with kidney failure, then I thought better of it. I figured he wanted to make his last days count. Roni ran up onto the porch and hugged her dad. Somehow, some way, Jerry mustered up the strength to lift her slightly off the ground and twirl her around. “My baby girl is getting married!” he exclaimed.

  In one swift motion, Roni skipped back over to my side. “You asked him for my hand, didn’t you?” she asked. “How’d you know?”

  “He’s old-fashioned about everything else,” I said, hoping that was the right answer. “I figured it was what you would both want.”

  Roni planted a kiss on my cheek. “You’re what I want.” She looked down at the sparkly new addition to her ring finger. “And this is a nice bonus!”

  The inside of my parents’ house was decorated with pictures of Roni and I that I’d never even known existed, and a few from the moment Roni had finally said yes. My mom had hung string lights throughout the kitchen and living room, having said that Roni and I were “shining stars” and deserved a party that reflected that. I wasn’t sure what exactly the party was. It was some sort of a combination of an engagement party, a gathering of the two families, and a farewell party for Roni’s father. We knew that Jerry likely wouldn’t make it to the wedding, and he had refused to let Roni throw together a half-assed, last-minute wedding on his account.

  In a matter of three days, my mother had gotten in touch with all of our close family members and had managed to make the gorgeous décor, order the dinner trays, and bake all of mine and Roni’s favorite desserts.

  “Your mom is all sorts of amazing for putting this together,” Roni said, meeting me at our favorite part of the party, the dessert buffet. There had to be fifteen different desserts on the table, from her famous apple crumble to mocha chip brownies.

  “Guess she likes you, huh?”

  Roni smirked. “That was never a question.”

  A few of my cousins from West Virginia had come into town for the party, and I introduced them to Roni as we caught up for the first time in a few years. I didn’t consider myself to be a sappy guy, but I had to admit I was getting teary-eyed looking at our two families—my parents and grandma and cousins, Roni’s dad and uncles and aunts—enjoy each other’s company. I’d been a tad worried that the two families wouldn’t mesh, but I knew that my worries were unfounded when I saw Roni’s Aunt Louise and my cousin Sheryl swapping pictures of their pets. It was like we’d always been meant to be.

  Based on how incredible of a night we’d had, I was certain my wedding to Roni would be nothing short of spectacular. Not only would we have the wonderful family that was here tonight to celebrate, but we’d have our extended families, and our high school friends, and some of our out-of-town friends, all there to celebrate our love.

  My eyes felt misty as I realized that the one pivotal member of Roni’s family, the one person who meant more to her than anything, likely wouldn’t be there for the wedding. All we could do was make the most of the time we had left with him. I’d spent so many years at war with my future father-in-law, and I wanted to make some new memories before it was too late.

  Jerry slowly made his way over to me, too stubborn to use the cane the doctor had recommended, and shook my hand. “This is a hell of a party, Parker,” he said. “I know your mom’s the one who put it together, but I have a feeling you were behind it all. So, thank you. This was just what I needed, to know that I’m leaving my little girl in good hands.”

  “That means a lot to me, sir,” I said. “Thank you.”

  He winked at me. “Call me Jerry.”

  Chapter 34

  Roni

  “Thank you all for coming today,” I said, holding back tears. The sea of dark-colored suits and dresses was a stark contrast from the colorful crowd that usually filled the church. “My father was so fortunate to have such wonderful friends and family who all came here to honor his memory. My dad, Jerry Vance, was the best dad a kid could ask for.”

  I felt tears stop in my throat and struggled to catch my breath. From the front row, Jesse gave a slight nod of encouragement, enough to keep me going at least a few more sentences. “One of my best memories of my dad was when I was eight or nine years old. About halfway through the school day, I was called down to the office and told to pack up my backpack because I was leaving early. I had no clue what was going on, but my little elementary school mind was filled with all sorts of things that could be wrong. When I got to the office, my dad was there with this sad look on his face. I was sur
e the family dog had died or I was stuck going to the dentist—my worst nightmare.”

  Mourners in the pews, only a quarter of which I recognized offered up quiet laughs. “As soon as we got outside, his frown turned into a giant smile. When I asked him why he’d come to pick me up, he said, ‘I just missed my number one girl.’ He took me out to lunch, and to our favorite ice cream shop, and we swung on the swings at Linfield Acres Park until our legs hurt. He told my mom that he’d been called to pick me up from school because I was sick, and we didn’t tell her the truth until years later. To my dad, that may have been a spur of the moment few hours, but it was one of the best days of my life. My father was just so full of life, so loving and caring and kind to others. I’m sure everyone here has great of memories of him, and I look forward to hearing them all someday.”

  I walked down the carpeted steps and took my seat in the front row next to Jesse, who gave me a squeeze on the hand and gently kissed my forehead. It had been less than a week since my Uncle Peter had stopped in to visit my dad and found him lying in his bed, lifeless, but it felt like a lifetime. My only saving grace was that, for the first time in a long time, I didn’t have to go through this alone. Having someone to lean on, a fiancé I could count on in my darkest days, meant everything to me.

  Jesse stood next to me for nearly an hour as we, along with my Uncle Peter, Aunt Barbara, and Uncle Jim, thanked guests for coming and awkwardly accepted their condolences. Some of my father’s oldest friends took my request to hear their favorite memories of him to heart, sharing stories of the good old days and talking about what my father was like back in college. Stories of my dad took my mind off the fact that he was gone, and my only regret was that it had taken until my father was no longer alive for me to hear some of these stories.

  The lunch back at the house was equal parts therapeutic and overwhelming. People I had never met—my father’s work associates, some distant relatives of my mother, my aunts’ and uncles’ friends—filled the lower level of the house in crowds. Every time I tried to take a bite of the sandwich on my plate, which Jesse was forcing me to eat after three days of barely eating anything, someone new came up to offer their condolences.

  “Roni,” a voice said.

  I turned around to see a woman I didn’t recognize. She was plump, with a red, curly afro and thick-rimmed glasses. “Hi,” I said politely, in case I had somehow met her before and just didn’t remember.

  “My name is Joan Witherspoon,” the woman said. “I’m your father’s cousin.”

  I felt flustered. I didn’t recognize her in the slightest but probably should have. “Oh. I… uh…”

  “We’ve actually never met before.”

  “Are you a second cousin? Third cousin?” I’d known I had distant relatives all over the country, but not one that was close enough to come to town for the funeral.

  Joan shook her head. “I’m actually your father’s first cousin,” she said. “I just saw your uncles for the first time in almost thirty years. My father was your grandmother’s brother.”

  “Oh. Franklin?” It was the only name I could think of, a name I’d heard maybe half a dozen times in my entire life.

  “Why, yes, that’s him,” Joan said. Her face lit up, as if I was the validation she somehow needed. “I hadn’t seen your father since before you were born, but I saw his obituary in the paper and immediately fell to pieces. We were born less than a year apart, so we were extremely close when we were young.”

  I lifted my eyes to meet her gaze. Stories of my father as a child were just what I needed. “Really?”

  Joan nodded. “People used to think we were twins. Your grandmother took us everywhere together… to the zoo, to the park, to the beach. Jerry and I always had the best time.”

  “What happened?” I asked. I knew I sounded forward but, given the circumstances, I hoped she would excuse my lack of manners.

  “My father and your grandmother had a falling out,” she said. “I know it sounds silly, but, back in those days, you did what your parents asked of you. My parents told me not to contact your family, and I obliged. I see now what a horrible mistake it was. I can’t believe I’ll never get to see sweet Jerry again.”

  Even though Joan and her family had completely neglected mine, I was somehow completely amazed and intrigued by her. She was this new window into my father’s life that I’d never had. I led her over to the kitchen table, and I spent a good twenty minutes prying her for stories about her childhood with my father.

  “I’ll never forget the time your father stuck a popcorn kernel up his nose.” The story was apparently so funny that Joan couldn’t tell it without busting up into laughter. “My parents left us alone for all of five minutes, and your dad managed to shove this kernel up his nose, and they couldn’t get it out. We had to go to the emergency room and have it removed by a doctor.”

  I heard myself laugh for the first time in days. “Are you serious?” I said.

  “One hundred percent,” Joan said. “I’ll never forget that as long as I live.”

  Jesse came over to tell me that the pastor wanted to gather everyone for a short service. I introduced him to Joan, savoring the word “fiancé” as I said it, and got Joan’s phone number so we could meet up sometime. “Thank you,” I said to her as I stood up. “I really needed this today.”

  I sat in a sea of mourners as the pastor went through a standard vigil service. We’d never been religious, so I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a bit each time he mentioned something about my father being a child of Christ. I wanted to stand up and say, “He wouldn’t want to be remembered as a child of Christ. He would want to be remembered as a child of respect, a child of honor, a child of responsibility and compassion.” Instead, I sat there in the numbing silence and listened on.

  This had been the type of funeral and vigil my uncles had been set on having, having grown up in a Catholic household, and I hadn’t had the right mind to argue with them when we were planning everything. I’d told them that, as long as my father had a standard funeral service and I got to share my feelings, and he had a plot next to my mother at the cemetery, I was fine with whatever else they wanted to do. I still wasn’t sure if I regretted that sentiment.

  I sent my mind back to thoughts of my mom and dad. For the first time, I thought of them not as separate parents whom I’d lost within the past year, but as a loving couple that had been married for over twenty-five years. They were finally together again, probably telling corny jokes to one another, and undoubtedly watching over me. Knowing that my dad was no longer suffering, no longer struggling to walk or breathe or perform ordinary tasks, made things a bit easier, but the best peace of mind I could find in my father’s death was knowing that he and my mother were reunited at last.

  As the crowds started shuffling out of the house, I said more goodbyes and gave more thanks than I cared to keep track of. I was appreciative of the support, but I was also ready to be alone with my own grief.

  “Babe, is there anything I can do for you?” Jesse asked me when there were just a handful of relatives and close friends left in the house. He rubbed my shoulder and kissed me on the head.

  “You’re doing it,” I said. “Just being here means everything to me.”

  In the days that followed, Jesse was more wonderful and understanding than I could’ve ever expected or asked of him. He canceled all of his tattooing appointments for the week so he could be on-call if I needed him, but gave me the space that I needed to process everything. We could go an entire day without talking, but, each night, he showed up with a home cooked meal and a hug. Every time I unexpectedly burst into tears, my incredible fiancé was there to dry them or hand me a tissue. Jesse was beside me each step of the way, and it was the best feeling in the world knowing that I would never have to go through anything alone again.

  Chapter 35

  Roni

  Two years later

  “Wake up, baby,” Jesse said in that sexy voice of his. The sound w
as so sweet that it almost made me forgive him for waking me from some of the best sleep I’d had in days. “Happy anniversary!”

  “Who? Me?” I asked, feigning surprise.

  Jesse grabbed my wedding band off my nightstand and slipped it onto my finger. “Yes, you, my beautiful bride. Can you believe it’s already been one year since I first put this ring on your finger?”

  I smiled and responded in the form of a kiss. Part of me felt like it was just yesterday that I walked down the aisle in the lace ballgown I’d dreamt about since I was a child. The other part felt like I’d known Jesse, this version of Jesse, my entire life. What could I say? We were two crazy kids in love.

  “Can I wear my wedding dress today? You know, to commemorate the occasion.” I giggled, knowing full well that dress wouldn’t see the light of day for years, but hoping to get to wear that gorgeous item of clothing again someday.

  Jesse smiled to reveal those infectious dimples. “Maybe for Halloween, babe.”

  “Isn’t it crazy how everything turned out?” I asked Jesse. I wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or not, so I waited to see his reaction.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, some people would call us high school sweethearts,” I laughed. “We hit a few road blocks, but we defeated the odds. We made it!”

  Jesse sat down on the bed and began massaging my shoulders. “True love conquers all.”

  There were so many things I could have said— “Yeah it does” and “I love you” came to mind, or even some quip about him becoming a sappy, whipped married guy— but I was enjoying soaking it all in. Spending the mornings with Jesse, getting ready together and taking turns making breakfast, was one of my favorite daily rituals. I always wanted a love like my parents had, and I finally felt like I had it, every single day of my life.