by Daisy Allen
“See you tomorrow, sweetie. But not too early,” She winked at me and elbowed Eric, who shot me a worried look. That was weird. But I didn’t have time to ponder on it too much. Finn tugged hard on my hand and I barely had time to wave good bye to Heather before he was pulling me towards the exit.
“Slow down! My ankle’s still pretty sore,” I begged him.
“Slowing down’s for losers, Kara! We are winners!” He said, still pulling my hand.
He led me hobbling to the car park where his car was waiting.
“Milady,” he grinned, opening the passenger door and helping me in.
I pulled the train of my dress in behind me and he closed the door and walked to the driver’s side. My heartbeat pounded in my neck as I waited for him. I busied myself with smoothing out my dress and hair, wondering if he going to pick up where he’d left off when Heather had interrupted us.
“Let’s go for a drive,” he leaned over and whispered in my ear.
“Ok.” I whispered back, barely audible.
He grinned and revved the car, stepping on the accelerator to screech out of the car park.
“Finn! Slow down!” I said, bracing myself against the door. He was driving way too fast.
“Oh, don’t be a baby! Doesn’t it make you feel alive?” He said, swerving into a side street that took us up to a lookout over the city.
“Please.” I begged. He was acting so weird, what had happened in the time we were apart?
“Fine.” He sulked and pulled off the brake a little, still swerving all over the road erratically.
I was scared. But I didn’t want to seem like I was overreacting, and I didn’t want to stop being alone with him. I held onto the door handle white knuckled as I watched his profile. He was focused on something so intently in front of him, but it wasn’t something on the road. It was like he was seeing something I wasn’t.
“Finn.” I said softly and reached out to touch him. He snapped his arm away, recoiling from my touch. “Sorry.” I apologized, rejected.
“I’m- I’m sorry, Kara, I didn’t mean to-, you just startled me.” He kept his eyes on the road as I felt the car increase its speed again.
I gripped my own hands and gritted my teeth trying to not jerk too much from his erratic driving. And I didn’t speak, he was obviously troubled by something and I thought he could use the time to sort it out in his own head. I only hoped he would trust me enough to talk to me about it after
We sat in silence for the next five minutes. And I wondered why he wasn’t just going to take me home if he didn’t want my company.
The road opened up into the car park of the lookout and he swerved a hard right and parked the car in an empty spot, as far from the other cars as possible.
He turned the engine off.
I waited for him to speak or to turn towards me...to do anything.
“Finn?” I said his name softly.
He didn’t say anything, but I noticed his jaw twitch in response.
“Take me home, Finn.” I finally whispered, after a few more moments of silence.
Then, before I could move, he turned and reached for me, pulling my face towards him and kissed me hard.
I froze, surprised. This was the last thing I had thought would happen tonight.
Wanted...dreamed...prayed for it, but never expected it.
His lips were hard against mine, his tongue pressing against my closed lips trying to coax them open. “Oh, Kara...” He moaned, and my heart skipped a beat and I finally allowed myself to melt into his kiss.
My mouth opened as I moaned, my body coming alive, the blood rushing to my face. The intensity of his kiss surprising me as his tongue slid into my mouth and flicked gently against mine.
His skin was both rough and smooth against my cheek at once, and he smelled deliciously of his cologne...and something else.
But all I knew was that Finn was kissing me. ME. My hands came up to run through his hair as the kiss deepened still.
His hands roamed all over my body, sliding down from my face, over my bare neck and shoulder and arms, our lips just pressed harder and harder against each others, until I had to pull away for a breath.
I sucked the air in as we stared at each other, in shock at what had just happened.
I had barely exhaled before he lunged towards me again. His mouth hard and wet against mine, almost unforgiving as he reached for the back of my dress, fumbling with the zipper.
His teeth bit into my lip and I whimpered from the pain.
“Finn...slow down...Finn...” I said, pulling my mouth away from his, as much as it tortured me to do so. He ignored me and started to slide the zipper down my back.
This, I hadn’t prayed for. Not yet.
“Finn. No.” I said again, pushing him away.
He ignored me again and tried to push his mouth against mine.
I pulled away, keeping my hand on his chest this time, to force him to keep his distance.
“Finn! What is wrong with you? I said no!”
“Aw, come on, Heather lighten up!” He shouted at me...and then I realized what it was I’d smelled. It was alcohol. He was drunk.
“Are you DRUNK?”
“No. I had a few drinks, so what? It’s our Prom, prude.”
I recoiled at the insult and busied myself by reaching behind and pulling my zipper up to distract me from crying at how the night had turned out.
“I’m not a prude, I just....I don’t think we should do anything we might regret if you’re drunk, Finn.”
“I don’t DO regrets, Kara. Though you might, if you don’t go through with this.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, come on, you’ve been gagging for it all night! I thought you’d be glad I brought you here for this. How did you THINK this night was going to end?”
I just stared at him with my mouth open. He was...I mean, I’d seen and heard him be a jerk in the past, to his sister, to his parents, even to people at school, but it was always mostly just some harmless ribbing. I’d never seen him like this.
He reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a flask and took a sip. The smell of scotch filled the car as he breathed.
“Take me home, Finn.” It wasn’t a suggestion out of concern for him now. Now I just had to get away from him.
“Whatever. I didn’t want to spend tonight with you anyway. Heather and my parents ganged up on me to ask you.”
The bombshell dropped, and exploded my heart into a million pieces.
“What did you say?”
“I said – Heather told my parents you didn’t have a date and she was sooo desperate for you to come that she made a deal with my parents that they’d give me my car back if I took you to prom.” He shrugged his shoulders as if it wasn’t any big deal that he had shattered me with his words.
“I can’t believe it.”
“Nothing not to believe, it’s what it is.”
I turned to him and watched his profile slide into a cold hard distant mask. “You bastard.”
He snickered and turned to me, “You didn’t REALLY think that I wanted to go with YOU, did you? We hardly even know each other.”
I shook my head, I didn’t recognize this asshole, this hurtful jerk in front of me, and I had to get far, far away from him.
“What about-“
“What about what?” He asked, sounding like he didn’t care either way.
What about the things you said when we were sitting on the bench, my soul cried out to him in my head.
“What happened to you, Finn?”
“Nothing happened, it’s Prom night. I wanted to have a little fun, but I didn’t realize what a party pooper, you are.
My bad. I’ll just take you home and find my fun somewhere else,” he said staring straight out into the night, not even caring to look at me.
That was the last I could take.
I pushed open the door and climbed out of the car.
“You are a fucki
ng bastard. You ruined EVERYTHING! I NEVER want to see you again!” I screamed at him through the open car door.
“That’s NOT going to be a problem!” He snickered
I slammed the car door shut and he skidded off, leaving me standing in the dust cloud, holding my shoes, crumpled prom dress dragging in the dirt.
Chapter Nine
Present Day
The plane lights flickered back on. I’d sunk deep into my seat during the 10 seconds of darkness and the light now illuminated my hand clutching at Finn’s arm.
“Um, sorry,” I mumbled and immediately let his arm go.
He pulled his arm back and patted it with his other hand. I wondered if I’d accidentally hurt him by squeezing too hard.
An announcement over the speakers saved us the issue of the awkward silence.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We apologize for the small issue with the lights. Just as a precaution, we are going to detour for a landing in Dublin. We are in contact with the ground crew there and will be beginning our descent shortly. We apologize for any inconvenience and will update you with any news shortly.”
I could feel him watching me as I made a show of putting my laptop away and fastening my seat belt. My face burned hot with...not anger, not embarrassment, just an overwhelming rush of emotion at being confronted by my own feelings. I had never thought about forgiveness before, I just knew that in that moment, I couldn’t imagine ever forgiving and forgetting what he’d said and done to me.
“Kara.” I heard him say softly.
“I’m sorry, sir,” a flight attendant spoke before I had a chance to, “I’m going to have to ask for you to return to your original seat. We should be preparing our descent soon.”
“Just a minute, please.”
“I’m very, very sorry, sir, I’m going to have to insist.”
“Kara.” He said my name a little more firmly. But I wasn’t ready to face him yet. I felt him sigh and collect his things and follow the FA to his first class cabin.
Somehow he managed to take all the air with him, and I felt dizzy, light headed. Closing my eyes and leaning my head back on the headrest, I breathed in deep. I could hear his voice in my mind, sighing my name, ‘Kara’. It was the most intoxicating sound I’d ever heard. And I wondered how I’d managed to forget it over the last 15 years. For survival, that’s how, I told myself. 15 years on and I was still the one watching him leave.
I felt him move in the seat next to me, “Finn?” I said hopefully, opening my eyes.
It wasn’t him.
“Oh, sorry, it’s just me,” said my original seat neighbor, “they had us move back to our seats. Which was such a shame! The first class seat was amazing!”
I smiled at her, “so I’ve heard.”
“But I think you’re actually the lucky one! Wooooweeeee that guy who swapped seats with me was HOT! I would’ve given up the first class seat to sit next to him any day!”
I plastered a smile on my face, not wanting to quell her excitement, then went back to resting with my eyes closed.
What would I give up to not have to spend the next week with him? I asked myself.
Chapter Ten
The plane landed and we were herded through immigration and baggage claim, and told that we’d all been booked on the earliest flight the next morning to Paris.
“If you all will please wait here, and we will update you on the accommodation we’ve arranged for you.” The customer service manager told us, doing her best to deal with 250 annoyed and tired travelers.
Finn and I had met up and were trying to navigate the inconvenience with as little said between us as possible.
“Go have a seat over there,” I gestured to an empty seat. “I’ll go see where they’ve booked us for the night.”
“I’ll come with you.” He followed me, infuriatingly closing the gap I was trying to put between us.
“It’s my job, Finn, just let me do it.”
He mumbled something under his breath and stopped, and I continued ahead to the crowded service desk.
The line was 80 people deep but I didn’t have anywhere else I needed to be.
15 minutes later I felt a large hand grab my bicep.
“Hey!” I shook it off. “Oh.” It was Finn.
He grabbed my wrist this time, swung my carry on over his shoulder, and pulled me and my suitcase through the crowd.
“Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“Would you just stop arguing with me for once and just go with it?” It was the most forceful he’d sounded since our reunion and I somehow felt it was better to just shut up and let him lead.
He dragged me out of the hall and into the parking lot towards the rental cars.
Stopping at black BMW hatch, he opened the trunk and threw our bags in before coming around to the passenger side and opened the door for me.
“Well, am I going to have to get a special seat for you and fasten your seatbelt as well?” He teased as I hesitated.
I slid into the seat and he closed the door before coming around to the driver’s side.
“You ever been to Ireland before?” He asked.
I shook my head, “I’ve never been anywhere.”
“Well, you’re in for a treat.” He winked at me, started the car and screeched out of the car park.
Chapter Eleven
Green.
That’s all I could think of. Green. And alive.
THIS was what “alive” really meant.
Fields and fields and fields of green. Nature’s sign of life.
I’d lived in Manhattan for almost fifteen years now, I walked the streets teeming with people, local and alien, breathing the air of 8 million other sets of lungs, there was rarely any stillness, everything was moving. You could hardly call it dead; but this. This intense scent of sunshine and grass is what “alive” really smelled like.
Where Finn was taking us I didn’t know, and I didn’t care.
I watched the miles and miles of trees and grass and flowers and nature out my open window, letting the soft breeze breathe against my face. I could never imagine anything in the world was like this.
Finn, in all his wisdom, didn’t try to talk to me during the drive. Maybe he was having his own communal with nature, but he let me hang me head out the window and enjoy my virgin trip to the country side of Dublin.
An hour in, I realized that partly why I hadn’t spoken was because my mouth had dried to a crisp.
I rolled my window back up and sat back.
“I’m thirsty,” I said, to no one in particular.
“We’re almost there.” Finn answered, not offering anything more.
The loud rumble in my stomach gave away my other urgent need.
“Hungry too?” he said, grinning.
I scrunched up my face in response, embarrassed.
“Just hang on for a few more minutes, greedy guts, I’ll get some food and drink in you.”
I focused on the landscape to stop myself from asking any questions and feeding his satisfaction of keeping everything a secret.
He turned down into a small unmarked dirt road and drove for another few minutes. The road was lined with tall trees and cast shadows over the winding trail.
Suddenly the way opened up into a beautiful courtyard with a fountain and small chateau. A line of four cars parked on the side and Finn pulled up alongside them.
“We’re here.” He announced.
“Where’s ‘here’?”
“Home.”
***
Finn had ignored all of my questions as we’d gotten out of the car and walked through the courtyard through the large double wooden doors of the front entrance. He led me to a small reception desk in the dark foyer and just stood there waiting.
“Mr O’Reilly! What are you doing here?” A loud voice boomed from behind us.
“Patrick. I’m here to make sure you’re not running my hotel into the ground, that’s wha
t!” Finn took three long strides to meet the man and the two greeted each other with a long embrace.
“Aye, I wouldn’t do that. Then where would I be, I’m past my gigolo days!”
The two men erupted into laughter and I stood back, enjoying seeing this side of Finn as well as not wanting to intrude.
“And who is this gorgeous young lady you’ve lured to these parts of the woods?”
“This is Kara, Patrick. Careful of her, she bites.” He pulled his sleeve up to show Patrick the red mark on his arm.
“Oh my, then she’s a keeper.”
“Are you staying the night, Mr. O’Reilly?”
“It’ll just be for the night. Have you got any room?”
“Just the field view room up top, Mr. O’Reilly...if we’d known you were coming...”
“Shhhh, that’s perfect. Can you get Rodney to help us with our bags?”
“Yes, of course, sir. Let us know if there’s anything else you need.”
“I will.” Finn replied.
“Not you, sir, I was talking to the lovely lass, you’ve already got everything you need.” Patrick winked at Finn and I burned a deep red.
“Come on then, bitey lass, follow me.” Finn pressed his hand against the small of my back and led me up the stairs.
***
“Here we are,” Finn slid a key into the lock and pushed on the heavy door with his shoulder.
The stairwell up to the room had been lowly lit but the room at the top opened into a bright and airy spacious suite. The curtains wafted with a soft breeze from the fields outside, and the stone walls were covered in paintings of the Irish countryside. An arched doorway led into an adjoining bedroom with a king-size bed covered in soft cloudy pillows and red velvet curtains and bed runners. It was beautiful.
“What is this place?” I asked, in awe.
I walked around the room unable to stop myself from running my fingers over the textured stone walls and luxury linens.
“I told you, this is home. Well, one of them. I have 3 small boutique hotels like it, this one here in Ireland and then two more in France and Italy. Each one is a little bit different, blending into its surrounds. But this was the first. It’s home.”