My Dilemma

by Pixie Perkins

  “Hmm?” I play crazy, eating another one of my chips. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “I’m not asking Holt for help with history.”

  “I didn’t say that you should.”

  “But you were thinking it.”

  “So were you.”

  Her lips purse at that. “Touché.”

  “There’s other people that could tutor you,” I offer with a shrug. “Not me, of course, since I’m barely doing better than you in history. But someone else could.”

  “Back to my original question,” she drawls, stabbing some pasta with her fork. “What was with the look?”

  “Brayden,” I mutter, pretending to study my light purple painted nails.

  “He’s in here?” she asks, looking around the cafeteria. “Well, you did say that he looks really different now. Like, how different though?”

  “I don’t know if he’s in here,” I reply in a dry tone, “and I really don’t care.”

  “Ooooh,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows at me. “Are you sure you don’t care? ’cause it sounds like you might.”

  “Lora, stop,” I tell her with a scowl. “He’s been nothing but a pain, and I wish he’d just move back to Flemingsburg, Michigan.”

  “Flemingsburg?” she echoes, making a face. “That’s seriously where he’s been living for the past six years?”

  I snort. “Fitting, right?”

  “Bitter,” she singsongs, eating her forkful of mac and cheese. “Why did he and his family move from here in the first place anyway?” She proceeds to smirk at me. “Do you think it was because of your breakup note?”

  “Do you think it was because of your breakup note?” I mimic her with squinted eyes. “No, Lora. I’m pretty sure they moved to Michigan because of his mom’s job.”

  “So, is that why they’re back here in Sierra Heights?” she asks, taking a sip of her strawberry tea. “Because of his mom’s job again?”

  I let my gaze go to the ceiling. “I don’t know, Lora. I’ve been trying to avoid him, remember?”

  “I still don’t get that, by the way. Why avoid him? This could be fate.”

  “This is not fate,” I say, tilting my head down to glare at her, “this is—” I don’t finish though, because I suddenly catch a glimpse of him. And that’s when I duck underneath the table as much as possible.

  “What the crap are you doing?”

  “I’m not here!” I hiss, cringing at the sight of chewed-up gum stuck to the table. “Stop talking to me!”

  “Wait, did you see him? Is that why you’re hiding under there? You know that you’re still really visible, right?”

  Shut. Up.

  I try to hunch down even more.

  “Meg. Megan! What does he look like now? ’cause there is a very hot guy coming this way, and I think he just heard me say your name. Girl, if that’s him, then he had the glow-up of the century.”

  Don’t remind me…

  “First, she sends me down the wrong hallway, and now she’s trying to hide from me? Should I be worried?”

  I mentally curse at the sound of his voice. Ugh, I just can’t catch a break.

  Lora responds with an awkward laugh. “Hey, Brayden. What’s up?”

  “Nothing much…Lara, right?”

  “Lora, actually,” she corrects him with another laugh. “And I don’t know anything about a wrong hallway, but Megan here is just looking for her earring. Did you find it, Meg?”

  Everyone needs to have a friend that tries their best to make you look just a little less pathetic. I honestly don’t deserve Lora.

  I quickly pluck one of my small hoop earrings out, and then manage to sit up straight without banging my head. “Got it!”

  “Oh, good,” Lora says as I put the stupid thing back into my earlobe. “I’m glad you found it. Look who’s here, Meg.”

  She gives me a discreet eyebrow raise, and I hold back an eye-roll before turning my attention to Brayden. “Hi.”

  “Hey,” he replies in that annoying laidback voice of his. “I just wanted to come over here and tell you thanks for sharing your tablet with me in Mrs. Flynn’s class.”

  “It’s Mrs. Flint,” I all-but-mutter, wishing that he’d just go away. “And you’re welcome…I guess.”

  Maybe he’ll get the message that I don’t want him around me.

  At. All.

  “Flint,” he says, almost to himself. “Right. It’ll probably take me a little bit to get used to all the different names.” He offers a rather weak chuckle, and I freely roll my eyes.

  Shocker, he’s not getting the message. That, or he’s just choosing to ignore the cold vibes I’m giving him.

  “Totally understandable,” Lora tells him with a nod, “I’m sure it’s not easy transferring so far into the school year.”

  You know what’s not easy? Having to breathe the same air as him.

  “Did you want to sit with us, Brayden?”

  My head snaps in Lora’s direction, and I don’t bother hiding a glare. “Lora, I’m sure that he—”

  “If you guys are okay with it,” Brayden says with a shrug, “then yeah.”

  “Of course, we’re okay with it,” Lora replies before I can say anything. “Absolutely. Have a seat.”

  And here I was thinking that she was my friend.

  To my surprise, Brayden sits next to Lora, but she is the one that invited him to sit with us…so I guess it makes sense. Whatever. He can sit there if he wants to. I don’t care.

  I really don’t.

  It looks like Holt might though.

  Mr. Drama Queen Márquez comes storming over to the table with his dark eyes narrowed behind his thick glasses. “Just what exactly is going on over here?”

  Oh, great.

  “What do you want, Holt?” Lora addresses him with a dry look. “We’re trying to enjoy our lunch in peace.”

  “Who’s this?” Holt asks, jutting his chin out toward Brayden.

  “Hey,” Brayden drawls, offering a slight nod, “I’m Bra—”

  “Not you,” Holt cuts him off, barely sparing Brayden a glance, “I’m speaking to Lora.”

  Brayden’s eyebrows rise ever-so-slightly, but he doesn’t say anything as he begins to eat his food.

  “Holt,” Lora says in an even tone, suddenly standing up, “why don’t you and I have a little chat in private. Okay?”

  I widen my eyes at her as a clear message to not leave me alone with Brayden, but she’s already walking over to Holt and tugging him away from the table.

  Oh, great, again.

  “So, is that her boyfriend? Or…?”

  I tell myself that I don’t have to answer him. That I don’t have to speak to him at all. That I can freely and completely ignore him.

  “He’s her ex,” I reply with a careless shrug, eating another one of my chips.

  “Ah, but he doesn’t want to be her ex. Right?”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s none of your business,” I say in a cool tone, making sure not to look at him. “Right?”

  He does that same sexy laugh again, and my heart betrays me by skipping a beat.

  “Come on, Meg,” he drawls with a slight sigh, “I thought you weren’t going to be sore at me. I told you last night that I was just messing around. I meant it.”

  Pre-breakup-eleven-and-a-half-year-old me would probably believe him. But, post-breakup-seventeen-year-old me knows better. Been there. Done that. Not going back.

  “Megan? Did you hear me?”

  How am I even supposed to respond to him? What should I say?

  “Sorry about that,” Lora says, reappearing at the table, “Holt can be a little extra sometimes.”

  Perfect. Timing.

  She is totally my best friend.

  “So, Brayden,” Lora starts, sitting back down beside him, “it’s been a bit. What have you been up to since way back when?”

  She’s just my best friend who doesn’t know when to quit, and she is going to get th
e scolding of a lifetime during gym period.

  “Uh, nothing much,” Brayden replies, turning his attention to Lora. “Just the usual, I guess. Tried a couple of different hobbies that I got bored with, started high school and wished that I hadn’t, worked part-time at some local diner, got my license and my first ticket.” He laughs a little before shrugging some. “Then my mom’s job gave her a really great opportunity to move back here, so we did. That’s pretty much it.”

  Yeah, because he left out the part where he had ten girlfriends. I may not know that for sure, but I definitely know it’s not below him…

  “Wow,” Lora comments with a nod, “and now you’re neighbors with Megan. I mean, how wild is that?” She then looks at me. “Isn’t that just wild, Meg?”

  I raise my eyebrows in an unamused fashion. “Incredibly.”

  “Oh my gosh!” she exclaims with an abrupt gasp, focusing on Brayden once again. “You know what was really wild? The food fight you started in middle school! Do you remember that?”

  Well, I know that I do. How could I not? It was one of the major times that Brayden got in trouble. Plus, I ended up with mashed potatoes in my hair. Definitely not a great memory.

  “Um, yeah,” Brayden drawls, clearing his throat, “I remember that.”

  “So, what happened anyway?” Lora asks with creased eyebrows. “What made you chuck that…what was it? Coleslaw?”

  Bleh. That stuff was, and is, completely gross.

  “Yep, it was coleslaw,” Brayden says, drumming a couple of his fingers against the table. “And I uh, chucked it at Bobby Harman because…well, he said something that I didn’t like.”

  Then, for some odd reason, his gaze finds mine. It’s only for a second, less than a second really, but that doesn’t stop some kind of rush from going through my body.

  I push the feeling aside and force myself to rationalize what just happened. I’m sure he only looked at me to see if I was judging him. After all, his reason for starting that stupid food fight does seem a little pathetic.

  Which is why I roll my eyes to let him know that I am indeed judging him.

  Meanwhile, Lora is rambling about her hatred for mustard. Apparently, the food fight (specifically that evil, yellow condiment) ruined her favorite top, and she’s never recovered.

  Yeah, Lora can be a little extra sometimes too…

  ——————

  “Why is she making us run laps outside?” Lora grumbles, putting her hair into a messy half-bun.

  “To get fresh air,” I deadpan, propping my hands on my hips. “Lora, have you been listening to me? Being friendly with Brayden is an absolute not.”

  “But why?” she asks, tugging at the bottom of her gym shorts. “I don’t think he’s that bad.”

  “That bad?” I echo in disbelief. “Lora Michelle Walters, need I remind you that you’re the one who insisted I break up with him!”

  “That was ages ago,” she says, widening her eyes at me. “And besides, what happened to not counting him as your ex?”

  “You’re missing the point, Lora,” I state in frustration as we walk over to where the rest of the class is, “and the point is that we need to avoid him as much as possible…okay?”

  “Don’t you think you’re being just a little extreme?”

  I purse my lips at her. “No. I don’t.”

  “All right, students!” Coach Milton yells, gathering everyone’s attention. “Before we run laps, let’s go ahead and do some stretches!”

  “And by we, she means us,” Lora mutters under her breath.

  Coach Milton begins to call out directions for the stretches that she wants us to do, and I make sure to follow along with the rest of the class. It’s basic stuff: touch your toes, reach above your head, balance on one foot while holding your other leg in a bent position behind your back.

  Nothing too crazy.

  But Lora is acting like this is the end of the world for her, which means she probably doesn’t notice that Holt keeps glancing in her direction. The dude has it soooooo bad…

  She might actually take him back though. Since the “mutual” (but not-so-mutual according to Holt) breakup happened almost a month ago, and Lora hasn’t been on a single date, I have a pretty strong feeling that they’ll end up being a couple again. Still, I’m not getting in the middle of it.

  “Okay, let’s have two groups!” Coach Milton claps her hands together as she looks over the class. “The first group will run laps while the second group does some rounds of jumping jacks and high knees. Let’s go, people!”

  She begins to divide us up, and I force myself not to laugh when Lora gets put in the first group with Holt. It’s only funny though because Lora looks like she’s ready to let everyone feel her wrath, and her angry face is just plain hilarious.

  Coach puts me in the second group, so I go ahead and start doing sets of jumping jacks. However, I also start to remember a very specific gym class back in middle school…

  We were getting ready to play kickball, and the next thing I knew, Brayden Knight was picking me to be on his team. BAM! Insta-crush. That’s all it took. I was a total goner. And because Lora was happily dating Connor O'Donnell (one of Brayden’s many friends) at the time, she took it upon herself to set me and Brayden up. So, we all had lunch together that Fajita Friday, and I managed to make some small talk with Brayden. Then on Monday, he asked me to be his hiking partner for gym class, and we got to talk some more. Then, after a week and two days of hanging out and spending time together…he asked me to be his girlfriend.

  I was the happiest sixth grader at North Ridge Middle School.

  Too bad I didn’t know then what I do now.

  Chapter 7: It’s Not a Big Deal

  “How was your day, Ky-Ky?” Mom asks with an expectant smile.

  Every night, every dinner, it’s the same thing. Kyle gets asked first, then Hailee, and then yours truly.

  “It was good,” he says, pushing his carrots around with his fork. “Ethan peed his pants.”

  Hailee lets out a snort, and Mom proceeds to sigh. “Not at the table, please.”

  “Sorry,” he apologizes, not sounding sorry at all, “and Quinn got bit by a bee.”

  “It’s stung, you dweeb,” Hailee corrects him with an eye-roll.

  “Mommy!” Kyle yells as if Mom isn’t sitting at the table with us. “Hailee called me a dweeb!”

  I honestly don’t blame Dad for being cooped up in his study to finish extra work, Kyle and Hailee’s constant whining is beyond obnoxious…

  “Hailee,” Mom says, using a disapproving tone, “apologize to your brother.”

  Her overly glossed lips start to form a pout. “But, Mom!”

  At that, Mom’s eyebrows go up. “Apologize.”

  “Fine!” Hailee huffs, turning to glare at Kyle. “I’m sorry that you’re so oversen—”

  “Hailee,” Mom warns, her eyebrows still raised high.

  “Okay, okay!” Hailee exclaims with a wave of her hand. “I’m sorry. There, better?”

  “Lose the attitude or you’ll be losing phone privileges,” Mom threatens, stabbing a piece of her chicken. “Understood?”

  “Understood,” Hailee echoes, suddenly interested in the ends of her hair.

  “So, anyway,” Kyle continues, oblivious to the brewing tension, “Peter wasn’t at school because he’s sick, Callie got in trouble for cutting Darcy’s hair, and Luna wouldn’t stop talking during quiet time.”

  Mom offers a tight smile. “Well, as long as you were behaved.”

  Kyle gives her a thumbs-up, then wrinkles his nose at his food. “Mommy, do I have to eat the carrots?”

  “Two more,” Mom says, taking a glance at his plate, “okay, honey?”

  It’s obvious that he wants to whine, but he just nods instead. Smart kid.

  “How about you, Megan? How was your day?”

  Say what now?

  I stare at my mother in disbelief. “Me?”

  Why the heck is she a
sking about my day? It’s supposed to be youngest to oldest.

  “Yes, Megan,” Mom replies with a half-laugh, “how was your day?”

  Weird.

  “Uh…” I trail off, barely lifting a shoulder. “It was fine?”

  “Yeah?” she asks, looking at me expectantly. “So, everything went okay with Brayden? You showed him around?”

  She can’t possibly know that I bailed on his “tour” and tried to avoid him as much as I could. Right?

  “Mm-hmm,” I hum, brushing invisible crumbs off my napkin, “I mean…I think it went pretty well.”

  I did help him get his schedule, after all. Plus, I showed him the nearest bathroom. And I shared my tablet with him.

  Such. A. Giver.

  “Well, that’s good,” she says with a content smile. “I’m glad. He seems like a really nice guy.”

  As if.

  “And how was your day, Hailee?” Mom asks her in an even tone.

  Ohhhhh, that’s why she asked me first.

  “Well, Ricky Vero is single again,” Hailee states in a matter-of-fact way, “and he has a sign-up sheet for any of the girls that want to be his new girlfriend…but guess who couldn’t put their name on the list because of some stupid no-dating-until-high school-rule?”

  Here we go…

  Mom sets her fork down, and calmly looks at Hailee. “First of all, having a sign-up sheet to find a girlfriend is absolutely ridiculous. And furthermore, you can complain about the dating rule as much as you’d like…but it’s not going to change anything.”

  “Why am I being punished for Megan’s failed relationship?” Hailee whines, crossing her arms. “It’s not fair! Just because her middle school dating experience turned out bad, doesn’t mean that mine would!”

  “You have enough to worry about without adding a boyfriend to the mix,” Mom replies, not missing a beat, “and if I had that realization when your sister was in middle school, then you can be sure she wouldn’t have had a boyfriend either.”

  I would’ve honestly preferred that.

  “Now,” Mom continues with a bit of a sigh, “is there anything else that you would like to add? Or can we move on to another topic?”