I mentally curse myself for wishing that was Brayden’s voice.
“Holt,” Lora says, looking past me, “hey.”
“Sure thing, Holt,” I answer for Lora, getting up from the table, “you can have my seat.”
Lora’s eyebrows crease as I grab my stuff. “Meg—”
“I’m not really hungry,” I interrupt her, “I think I might walk around some before the bell rings. See ya in class.”
She’ll probably lecture me later, but I don’t really care, I need to get out of this cafeteria. So, after ridding myself of my food and tray, I leave the cafeteria and start strolling down the hallway.
In all honesty, I should probably walk outside so I don’t get stopped by a hall monitor…
I decide to play it safe, and start walking toward one of the exit doors—until I hear someone say my name.
It’s Brayden. I don’t even need to look over my shoulder.
“Hey,” he greets me, appearing by my side, “where ya going?”
Pssh, I don’t owe him any kind of explanation.
I offer a half-shrug, not bothering to say anything.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, now looking confused. “Why are you upset?”
I purse my lips. “I didn’t say I was upset.”
“Well, it’s pretty obvious that you are,” he replies with a short laugh. “So, what’s up? Did something happen?”
“I’m fine,” I lie, crossing my arms, “and I’m going to go now…okay?”
“Wait, wait, wait,” he says, stepping in front of me, “is it something I did? This is the first time we’ve even talked today.”
Exactly.
You’re not together, Megan. Stop it with the angry girlfriend attitude.
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
That didn’t sound girlfriend-ish, right? A friend could totally say that.
He proceeds to sigh. “So, it is something I did. Just tell me, Meg…or at least give me some kind of hint.”
Dang, he’s gorgeous. I know he’s really on my nerves right now, but once again—there’s no denying his good looks.
“Megan,” he says, his voice lower than before, “what’s going on?”
In that moment, I find myself wishing things were different.
I wish he wasn’t talking to me as a “friend.” I wish I didn’t have to feel guilty for finding him attractive. And I wish that somehow Lora is right about Brayden liking me.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wro—
“Hey,” he interrupts my thoughts, his fingers grazing my arm, “I can’t fix this if you don’t tell me what I did.”
You made me like you again…that’s what you did.
“You didn’t do anything,” I lie, taking a step back, “I just—today’s just kind of a bleh day, I guess.”
There, maybe he’ll leave me alone now.
He doesn’t look convinced though. “Are you sure I didn’t do anything wrong?”
“Positive,” I force myself to say, “like you said…this is the first time we’ve even talked today.”
“Well—”
“I should go,” I cut in, knowing that any further conversation with him right now wouldn’t be a good idea, “I don’t want to get detention for loitering in the halls.”
“Right, right,” he agrees with a nod, “I’ll see you later though—yeah?”
Not if I can help it.
I offer a tight smile. “Absolutely.”
——————
I haven’t seen Liam at all.
And trust me—I tried. I was almost late for three of my classes because I kept “hallway searching.”
I’m starting to wonder if he even goes to this school, and if that was actually him I saw outside the other day. Maybe it was just some guy that looked like him. Either way: no success.
On another note, Lora scolded me during gym class for bailing at lunch …but thankfully the conversation didn’t last long. She did, however, inform me that she and Holt are supposed to be going out on Saturday. Yeah, she officially told him yes at lunch. For both of their sakes, I hope it works out.
And now I’m heading to the main entrance/exit doors, ready to just GO HOME. I’ve managed to avoid Brayden since we talked earlier, and I’d like to keep it that way.
“Hey, Megan!”
Well, there goes that plan.
Are you kidding me? I was so close!
“You feeling better now?” Brayden asks, coming beside me. “Or is today still bleh?”
“Both, I guess,” I respond in an uninterested voice as I mentally curse, “at least school is over though.”
Go away, you amazing smelling pain-in-the-neck!
“Tell ya what,” he drawls, NOT going away because he apparently can’t read my mind, “why don’t we go do something? Just let your mom know I’ll take you home afterward.”
Say WHAT now? No, absolutely not. I can’t “go do something” with Brayden!
“Come on, Meg,” he says, pushing open one of the entrance/exits doors, “let me cheer you up…it’ll be fun, I promise.”
I push open the other door, then step outside. “No thanks.”
But guess what? I totally want to say yes.
And that’s totally wrong.
He frowns, stepping outside as well. I thought you weren’t upset with me.”
“I’m not.”
-ish.
“Then let’s do something,” he insists, moving to stand in front of me, “you’re starting to give me a complex, Megan.”
“Fine!” I huff, throwing a hand up. “Fine. I’ll call my mom and ask her if it’s okay.”
So, I “select” her number on my phone and wait for her to answer. I don’t bother hoping I’ll get her voicemail though, because Mom always manages to answer her phone…no matter what.
“Hey, sweetie,” her voice comes through a few moments later, “I’m waiting for Hailee now. Everything all right?”
“Yeah,” I reply, trying my hardest not to wince because I know Brayden is watching me. “Hey, Mom…Brayden wants us to hang out for a little bit and then he’ll take me home, is that okay?”
Please say no.
N. O.
NO.
“That sounds more than okay to me,” she chirps, and I really hope he can’t hear her. “What are you guys going to be doing?”
“I don’t really know,” I say in all honesty, “but I know all the do’s and don’ts…so no worries.”
“Megan,” she says, her voice taking an even giddier tone, “is this a date?”
“No, it’s not,” I don’t hesitate in correcting her, my cheeks beginning to burn up. “I swear it isn’t.”
“Mm-hmm,” she hums, unconvinced. “Well, have fun on your not-date. And make sure to keep your phone on.”
I resist an eye-roll. “Yes, I’ll have my phone on. Love you!”
“Love you too! Tell Brayden I say hi, okay?”
She hangs up and I repocket my phone as Brayden watches me expectantly. “So, she said yes then?”
I nod. “Yeah, and she also told me to tell you that she says hi.”
Because my mother is cringey like that.
“Well, when I drop you off at your house you can tell her I say hi back,” he says before motioning ahead of us. “Ready to go?”
No.
“Yep,” I drawl, smacking my hands against the sides of my legs, “go where though?”
He grins, that mischievous glint shining in his eyes. “You’ll know it when you see it.”
How vague.
He turns on his heel then begins to stroll toward the parking lot, and I follow his lead…making sure to keep my eyes trailed on his back, and not his backside.
Easy.
Yeah, right.
Maybe I should just walk next to him.
No, that’d feel too coupley. And we are NOT a couple. Unfortun—
Nope. Stop it, Megan! If you’re going to be thinking about anyone like that, it needs to be Liam.
Brayden starts to hum as he whips his keys out, causing me to curse under my breath.
Liam, Megan. Not Brayden—Liam!
“You say something?” Brayden asks, glancing over his shoulder at me.
How can someone be so effortlessly hot? It’s unfair.
I force a little laugh. “Just talking to myself.”
He nods. “Gotcha.”
We reach his car, and after he unlocks it, I get in on the passenger side. We’re just two friends hanging out.
Two. Friends. Hanging. Out.
That’s it.
“Ya know,” he drawls once we’re leaving the school’s parking lot, “it looks like it wants to rain.”
Wow, we’re really going to talk about the weather? Okay then…
“Yeah, it does,” I agree, looking out my window, “I hope that won’t ruin whatever you have planned.”
Or maybe I do hope it ruins his plans, so he can just take me home instead of us spending even more time together.
“Not at all,” he replies, making a right. “Hey, do you think your mom could make more of those peanut butter cookies for the housewarming party?”
Knowing Mom, she’ll end up making a whole variety tray of stuff.
“Probably,” I say with a shrug, “unless she has something else already planned.”
He nods, not saying anything else, and we sit in silence as he continues to drive. Which is fine. It’s probably better that we don’t talk.
Soon he’s pulling into a parking lot, and my stomach starts to sink when I see where we are.
Roll With It. As in, the roller-skating rink where we had our “first date.”
Why would he bring me here of all places?
Chapter 21: I Can’t Take It
“I don’t know about you,” Brayden drawls, pulling into an empty parking space, “but I haven’t skated in forever. So, if me falling on my butt doesn’t cheer you up…I don’t think anything will.”
Sooooo, he brought me here to see him fall on his butt? That’s what he just said—right? Does he even remember that we had our first date here?
“Meg? You coming?”
I then realize the car is already turned off, he’s not wearing his seatbelt, and his door is halfway open.
Nope. I am not getting out of this car. And I most definitely am not going into that building.
“Yeah, I’m coming,” I say, unbuckling my seatbelt, “obviously.”
Why couldn’t Mom just tell me no?
Brayden gets out of the car then closes his door, and I do the same on my side. You know what? Who cares if we had our first date here? I don’t.
“Are you hungry?” Brayden asks as we walk toward the building. “Because if you are, we can eat something first. I bet they still have those really great chicken sandwiches.”
Oh, you mean the ones we ate on our first date?
“I’m good,” I reply, trying not to sound bitter, “totally not hungry at all.”
Although, there is the tiny detail that I hardly ate my lunch earlier…
Brayden opens the entrance door, motioning for me to step inside first—so, I do. Waves of nostalgia hit me in a heartbeat, and I cross my arms as some kind of barrier from those old feelings. I’ve been here once or twice within the last couple years for Hailee’s tenth birthday party and a random family outing; but being here with Brayden is something entirely different.
“Hey,” he says, touching my elbow, “you okay?”
How can I possibly be okay when this feels like it should be a date…even though it can’t be one?
Maybe it could be one if you’d just tell him the truth.
Gee, I wonder who that sounds like.
“Yeah,” I lie, starting to walk toward the front counter, “let’s get some skates.”
After we choose our skates and pay (because I was NOT going to let him pay for both of us, ESPECIALLY since this isn’t a date), we walk over to one of the sitting areas so we can put our skates on.
“They haven’t changed much here, huh?” Brayden comments, looking around as he takes his shoes off. “That’s nice.”
Nice would be less small talk…
I shove my second foot into the other skate. “Mm-hmm.”
“Ya know,” he drawls once we both have our skates on, “I have a bad feeling that I’m probably going to fall before I even make it to the rink.”
Considering the rink is only a few feet away, he really shouldn’t have any time to fall.
“Well,” I say, standing to my feet, “you did say that we’re here to cheer me up.”
His eyebrows crease at that. “It kind of sounds like you want me to fall.”
Guilty as charged.
I prop my hands on my hips. “Are we skating or not?”
He lets out a light scoff before motioning to the rink. “After you.”
I turn away from him with an eye-roll and begin to take a few careful steps forward.
Brayden makes some sort of struggling noises, and I hide what would probably be considered as an evil grin. “Are you good back there?”
He laughs, but it sounds more like a wheeze. “Yeah, I mean, I haven’t fallen yet.”
And to think he used to be so confident about roller skating. After all, that’s why he chose it to be our first date.
I stop my toddler-walking and glance back at him. Not only is he walking in slow motion, but he’s looking down at his feet.
I turn so I can fully watch him. “You shouldn’t be looking down like that.”
“I know, I know,” he huffs with a mild curse, barely lifting his head, “I told you it’s been a while.”
I don’t know why, but I extend my hand out to him, and he doesn’t waste a second in grabbing it. And even though I tell myself he’s just worried about falling, I can’t help wondering if there’s more to it than that.
“There,” he says, now meeting my gaze, “I’m sure I’ll be fine once I’m on the rink.”
Three minutes later, he falls on said rink.
I try not to laugh—I swear that I do—but he went down in the most disgraceful way. Arms failing and all.
“Are you okay?” I ask, holding back another snicker as I extend both hands to him. “I told you to stop looking down.”
He takes one of my hands and starts to push himself up with his other hand. “Well, not looking down is a lot harder than I remembered.”
“Are you okay?” I repeat myself once he’s standing up all the way. “I can wave someone over.”
I’d rather not though, because now he’s holding both of my hands and I’m totally okay with that.
Dang it, Megan! You’re only making this worse for yourself…
“I’ll probably bruise,” he responds with a shrug, “but otherwise I’m fine. I got you to laugh.” He gives my hands a light squeeze. “That’s a plus.”
I can’t take it. This should ABSOLUTELY be a date, and I’m so annoyed that it’s not.
“Consider me cheered up then,” I manage to say, licking my lips, “which means no more falling.”
The corner of his mouth tilts up. “No promises.” He then uses my hands to pull himself closer to me. “Ya know…there’s something I’ve been wondering about for a while now.”
Wow, is he smooth.
I swallow, hoping he can’t hear how fast my heart is beating over the pop music playing through the speakers. “What’s that?”
“In the note you gave me, you said I was a bad kisser…” He tilts his head to the side as his eyes study mine. “But we never even kissed.”
I just stare at him while mentally cursing Lora. This is all HER fault. She’s the one that said I had to list the reasons why I needed to break up with him. She’s the one that asked if he was a bad kisser. And she’s the one that insisted he wouldn’t remember the stupid note or what I wrote in it! This is so flippin’ humiliating!
What am I supposed to do? What should I say? Why is he bringing it up now? We’re supposed to be
“friends,” and he’s over here thinking about how we never kissed!
Don’t get your hopes up…
“I um—” I stop and slip my hands out of his grasp. “I was really hoping you didn’t remember anything else from that note.”
He shakes his head with a slight laugh. “I remember everything from that note.”
Lora is never going to hear the end of this.
“So,” he drawls, resting his hand on the railing next to us, “are you going to tell me why you wrote that I was a bad kisser? Or do I have to keep wondering about it?”
He is not making this easy for me.
AT. ALL.
“It was just…some stupid middle school girl logic,” I say, deciding to go with a safe answer, “that’s all.”
“But—”
“Why were you wondering about it so much?” I interrupt, wanting the focus to be on him instead of me.
Of course, I’m also asking because: HELLO? HE’S BEEN THINKING ABOUT HOW WE NEVER KISSED! WHICH MEANS HE’S BEEN THINKING ABOUT US KISSING!
I am far from okay right now.
“Uh…” he trails off, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. “I guess I was just curious, because it didn’t make sense to me.”
Oh my gosh. Is he blushing? I swear that his cheeks look red all the sudden.
You’re not sticking with the plan, Megan.
How can I stick with the plan if I don’t know when I’m going to see Liam again? In all honesty, I don’t even want to think about Liam. How can I when Brayden is standing in front of me while talking about kissing?!
And even more honestly? I’m pretty sure I want us to kiss right now.
Is it incredibly cringey that our first kiss would also be where we had our first date? Yes.
But I also think it’d be kind of sweet; and with all this talk about kissing, my mind can’t focus on anything else.
The big question is, however, does Brayden want us to kiss?
Based off the way his eyes keep flicking to my mouth, I feel like the answer might be yes. I really hope the answer is yes. I mean, why would he bring up the whole “bad kisser thing” if he didn’t want us to kiss?
“Megan,” he murmurs, his cool breath caressing my face, “remember when I asked for a second chance with you…as friends?”
My Dilemma Page 16