My Dilemma

by Pixie Perkins

  I told him yes before I could even think about it. And I’d tell him yes again—if he ever ends up asking, that is.

  I hope Gianna is right about giving him space…

  Thankfully, I missed Beth’s hair flip (even though I was almost late for class), and now I have to survive seeing Brayden in Mrs. Flint’s class. But maybe he won’t see me. I can probably sit behind Lester Owens. He’s pretty tall, and I don’t have a problem with using that to my advantage. Yeah, that could totally work.

  So, I enter the classroom, spot Lester sitting in the middle section, then I go ahead and sit behind him.

  Brayden strolls in a second later and sits in the front row—without even looking around the room. Which is fine, there’s no rule saying he has to look around the room, but I just thought that maybe he’d try to search me out. I guess not.

  It’s better that he didn’t though. Giving him space isn’t going to work if we’re around each other.

  Celise also walks into the room and wastes no time in sitting beside Brayden. Seriously? Is this the new norm? I can’t stand her!

  He’s still not your boyfriend.

  Yeah, well, he should be. I want him to be.

  And besides, did he take Celise to the roller rink where they had their first date? Did he kiss Celise at the roller rink?

  No, he did not.

  Celise needs to stay in her lane.

  Halfway through class, I peek around Lester’s wide shoulders to catch a glimpse of Celise flat-out staring at Brayden, who’s attention is (thankfully) on Mrs. Flint. This girl is being so obvious that I actually have second-hand embarrassment right now.

  On the other hand, I can’t really blame her though, I mean—Brayden always looks good, but today he’s got a little something extra going on. I couldn’t tell you what that “little something extra” is, but it’s most definitely there. FOR. SURE.

  Needless to say, I have a hard time focusing for the rest of class; and when the bell rings, I make sure to stay glued to my seat. Brayden needs to leave the room first, then I can slip out. However, Lester decides to get up, leaving me COMPLETELY visible.

  “Crap!” I hiss, turning my head just in case Brayden looks this way.

  Lester couldn’t wait another second or two?

  My luck must be changing though, because Brayden doesn’t spare a glance in my direction as he leaves the room.

  Ha!

  So far, so good…

  I gather my stuff before walking out the classroom, and then I—

  “Hey.”

  I mentally curse at the sound of Brayden’s voice, and I reluctantly look up to see him leaning against the wall on the left side of the classroom door.

  “Hey,” I echo, forcing myself to focus on the upper half of his face, “I wasn’t expecting you…to be there.”

  Hecka smooth, Meg.

  Was he waiting for me? Why? To tell me he’s having second thoughts? Or to tell me that we should date again? He doesn’t look super happy to see me though, so maybe he was waiting for me because of the first option.

  But I don’t know if I can handle hearing that right now.

  He tucks one of his hands into his pocket. “Well, I—”

  “I don’t want to be late for my next class,” I interrupt him, stepping farther into the hallway. “Later, Brayden.”

  Once I’m walking away from him, I wince at how indifferent my tone sounded. Is that why he’s not following me? My uninterested responses never stopped him before though. Why isn’t he coming after me?

  It’s good that he’s not, you’re supposed to be giving him space.

  Right.

  I can’t help feeling a little disappointed though.

  ——————

  “I think this is the first good idea you’ve had in a while,” Lora comments with an approving nod, “giving Brayden space is very mature of you, Megan.”

  Yeah, I’m not telling her that this mature decision of mine was actually advice from a middle-schooler…no way.

  I force a smile. “Yep, that’s me, totally mature.”

  Except, a totally mature person wouldn’t be wondering where Brayden is for the umpteenth time. I’ve tried my best not to look around the cafeteria—really, I have—but it hasn’t been easy.

  “So, listen,” Lora drawls, clicking her tongue, “can I ask you for a favor?”

  My eyebrows crease at that. “What’s up?”

  “Well, Holt and I are obviously going out on Friday,” she says, twirling her spoon between her fingers, “but I was thinking that maybe you could come too…incognito.”

  “You want me to spy on you guys?” I hiss with wide eyes.

  “It wouldn’t be spying!” she matches my hushed tone. “You would be there just in case the date starts going south, and I need a quick exit!”

  “This conversation wouldn’t be happening if you’d just finally get your license,” I deadpan. “I don’t know how I feel about being your getaway car, Lor.”

  “Megan, please?” she essentially begs, hands clasped and all. “We’re going to some food truck thing downtown by the park, so there will be lots of people around and he won’t even notice you!”

  This is sounding more and more like a heist…

  Lora clears her throat some. “I would do it for you, ya know.”

  Ugh. Checkmate.

  “Okay, fine,” I give in, noting the start of her triumphant grin, “but I am not wearing a stupid disguise.”

  “You don’t have to,” she verbally waves me off, “like I said, he’s not going to notice you with all those people walking back and forth between the food trucks.” Her expression then turns sincere. “You are the best friend ever. Thank you, seriously.”

  “Sure thing, although, I think your date with Holt is going to be fine.”

  “Maybe,” she replies with a shrug, “but I’d rather have a backup plan just to be safe.”

  Well, at least I have plans now for Friday night. It was honestly looking like another MoreFlix marathon. I even thought about trying out Cloverdale—a terrible lapse of judgement, I know.

  Lora goes back to eating her food and playing on her phone, so I decide to steal a quick look around the cafeteria. But I wish I hadn’t. Just like in middle school, Brayden is sitting at one of the bigger tables where he’s surrounded by girls.

  Sure, there are a handful of guys sitting at the table too, but the girls clearly outnumber them. And of course, they’re all laughing, and being loud, and having a wonderful time—Brayden included.

  Why didn’t he come over here and try to talk to me again?

  It doesn’t matter, you’re supposed to be giving him space.

  I keep forgetting.

  No, that’s a lie, I just don’t want to remember. But giving him space is the right choice, and I need to focus on being patient.

  By the end of the school day, however, my patience is almost gone. I should’ve just let him talk to me after Mrs. Flint’s class. I know I didn’t want to hear him say that he’s having second thoughts, but now it feels like he’ll never talk to me again, and that was not part of the plan.

  The drive home is quiet besides Kyle’s ramblings, and even though I’m grateful that Hailee hasn’t asked about Brayden—I’m also kind of surprised. Then again, she mentioned this morning about some Look This Way video that was supposed to be releasing…so maybe she’s too busy watching it to bother me.

  No complaints here.

  When Mom pulls into the driveaway, I immediately notice that Brayden’s car isn’t parked next door. He’s probably hanging out with his lunch buddies. There I go again, sounding like a bitter girlfriend…

  “Megan,” Mom says once we’re all inside the house, “did you want to come with us for your brother’s soccer practice?”

  Right, so I can end up on snack duty with all those high-fructose corn syrup crazed kids? Hard pass.

  “I’m good,” I tell her with a shrug, “I’ll just stay here and do my homework.”


  And possibly stalk the Knights’ yard to catch a glimpse of Brayden. Maybe I won’t…but I might…I definitely might.

  “All right,” Mom replies, closing the front door, “how about you, Hailee?”

  Hailee points to one of the earbuds that she still has in her ears, and then she goes upstairs.

  Mom crosses her arms with a huff. “Well, I guess that’s a no.”

  “Oh, hey, Mom,” I say, remembering that I agreed to be Lora’s getaway car, “is it okay if I go out for an hour or two on Friday night?”

  She raises an eyebrow at that. “And what exactly will you be doing for this ‘hour or two?’”

  I force myself not to roll my eyes at her air quotations. “Lora wants me to spy on her date with Holt just in case it goes wrong. They’re going to some food truck thing downtown.”

  Her other eyebrow quirks up. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I know,” I agree with a sigh, “but that’s just Lora…I guess. So, I can go?”

  “Sure, I don’t have a problem with it.”

  “Cool.” I snap my fingers at her. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “What’s a food truck?” I hear Kyle ask as I start to go upstairs. “Can we get one?”

  This kid…

  After I’m in my room, I toss my backpack onto my bed and stride over to my window.

  One. Quick. Peek.

  I push aside one of the curtains just enough so I can see outside, but the Knights’ driveway is still empty. Dang it.

  Also, dang it because I should’ve grabbed a snack before I came up here. Now I have to go back downstairs. So, I do. And the literal second that I make a sound in the kitchen, Kyle appears beside the island counter—wearing only his long socks and soccer shorts.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Go away, pipsqueak,” I tell him, opening one of the cabinet doors, “and your shorts are on backward.”

  “No, they’re n—oh shoot!”

  Yep. Once again, I’m right.

  “Mommy!” Kyle yells, thankfully leaving the kitchen. “Megan’s having a snack! Can I have one too?!”

  It never ends.

  “Not now, Ky-Ky!” she hollers back. “I need you to get ready, please! You’ll have snacks after practice, honey!”

  3,2,1…

  “But, Mommmm!”

  I am not sticking around for yet another whine-fest. I grab a granola bar and go straight back to my room. Then, even though I just checked, I look again to see if Brayden is home. This time I’m not disappointed.

  There he is, getting out of his car while looking flippin’ gorgeous as usual, oblivious to the fact that he’s been on my mind all day. He’s so annoying. I wish he had tried to talk to me again. Even if it would just be to tell me that he’s having second thoughts. Hearing him say it would definitely sting, but I’d take that over nothing.

  Maybe he’ll try again tomorrow. I’ll still give him space, but if he decides to talk to me again—I’m not going to walk away. I’ll expand my horizons of maturtity and listen to whatever he has to say. And if he happens to say that he wants us to date again, then I think I’ll be the happiest eleventh grader at Robinson High.

  Chapter 24: A Pretty Good Plan

  “Tomorrow” (aka, Thursday) came and went, without a single word from Brayden. I hardly even saw him, and whenever I did see him, he was always talking with someone. Mostly girls. No surprise there though. I’m convinced that just like before, he’s avoiding me. But I don’t know why.

  Maybe he’s nervous about telling me that he’s having second thoughts. I mean, he was hesitant to tell me the truth about why he wanted (but actually DIDN’T want) to date other girls.

  I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. There’s really no logical explanation for why he hasn’t said anything to me since he tried to on Wednesday. It doesn’t make sense. And today was just a repeat of yesterday; except, I saw him even less. Only in our shared classes, and he was absent during lunch.

  I miss him.

  I know it’s only been a couple of days, but I feel like I was kissed (amazingly well) and then just flat-out ghosted. He probably wasn’t even waiting to talk to me after Mrs. Flint’s class on Wednesday! Who knows, maybe he was waiting for Celise. This whole thing is just a mess. And I’m seriously dreading that I agreed to “third wheel” on Lora and Holt’s date tonight. It’s just a big, fat reminder that I’m single and have no apparent chance with Brayden.

  Yep, tonight is going to suck.

  Oh, I should also mention that I’ve looked out my window five times already since we got home, and his car is still MIA. What the heck could he possibly be doing that’s keeping him out for almost three hours?

  I don’t think I want to know.

  “We need to talk about what you’re wearing tomorrow night.”

  I blink at Hailee, who’s standing in my doorway with her eyes glued to her phone. “Excuse me?”

  “The housewarming party, Megan,” she huffs, tapping away on her phone, “don’t play crazy.”

  Oh…that.

  “I don’t have to worry about what I’m going to wear,” I drawl with a shrug, “because I’m not going, remember?”

  Even if I miss Brayden, I am NOT going to spend the whole night being ignored by him.

  “Yeah, right,” she scoffs, her attention now on me, “Mom won’t let that happen, and you know it.” She proceeds to cross her arms. “So, what are you wearing?”

  “Clothes.”

  “Megan!” she snaps, coming into the room. “Just because you’re giving him space doesn’t mean you can’t put effort into your outfit choices! Choose one of the other tops I picked out for you last week—since you actually took my advice about the blue top—and remember what I said about the jeggings.”

  And then she leaves my room.

  Ugh, she’s going to hold that blue top over my head for the rest of our lives…

  If anything, I need to find clothes for tonight.

  Obviously, I’m not the one with a date, but I’m still going out—and that requires a somewhat decent outfit.

  I find myself going back to my window, and my heart skips a beat at the sight of his car. But he’s not in it, so he probably went inside already. Yeah…I’m blaming Hailee.

  “Get a hold of yourself, Megan,” I mutter, stepping away from the window, “stalking him is just creepy. You’re better than that.”

  Miss him or not, I can’t turn into one of those kinds of girls.

  An hour later, I’m dressed to go out and I might have put on a black top just to feel more “spy-ish.” Plus, it’s totally cute. Nothing fancy, just a plain crop top that ties in the front. It honestly doesn’t even look like much of a crop top with my jeans on though. Whatever.

  I’m going to a food truck event, not some runway show.

  And I’d wear some comfy, causal shorts instead of the jeans…but I’ve been too lazy to shave.

  #teamjeans.

  I give my farewells to everyone—which results in me getting shushed by Kyle, who’s watching a bird documentary with Dad—and I roll my eyes before leaving the house.

  If anything, at least I’ll get some food out of this. Lora told me she’ll treat if I don’t go over twenty dollars.

  Challenge accepted.

  I get into the family car, tell myself that I don’t care when I see Brayden’s car missing from the Knights’ driveway yet AGAIN, and then I make my way to the downtown area.

  Once I manage to find a safe and legal place to park, I go ahead and send a quick text to Lora, so she knows I’m here.

  She wasn’t kidding about all the people. Dang, who knew so many locals liked food trucks? I definitely didn’t. Also, almost everyone here is with someone. They’re not all necessarily couples…but I only spot like, maybe five people walking around by themselves or sitting at a table with no one else. I guess this is more of a couple and/or family event then.

  Cool, cool…

  Even though it’s obviously dinner time, I
stroll over to the yellow and blue decorated “Breakfast with Brandy” food truck. Why? Because breakfast sounds good. Plus, the prices don’t look too bad either. And I don’t know what’s on a breakfast burger—but I’m okay with finding out.

  Ten minutes later, I discover that a breakfast burger consists of a bagel with a grilled turkey burger (shocker, I know), some scrambled eggs, a couple pieces of bacon, and cheddar cheese. Too make it even better, I got hash browns on the side. AND, I didn’t spend over twenty dollars…even when I asked for a water bottle.

  Ha.

  Being the “just in case” getaway car definitely has its perks.

  While I’m breathing in the amazing smell of my food, I spot Lora and Holt walking over to a Thai-themed food truck. I should also mention that they both look TOTALLY happy.

  “Crap!” I mutter, quickly turning around. Okay, I need a place to sit down where I can enjoy this incredible food without being seen.

  As fate would have it, I find an unoccupied picnic table hidden behind some bushes and a tree. Seriously…what are the odds?

  Once I’m sitting at the table, I take a bite out of my burger (the best I can anyway, because this thing is HUGE), and then I can’t help but groan. It tastes even better than it smells! Oh my gosh. Who needs a date when I have phenomenal food?

  “Well, now you’ve got me second-guessing my order.”

  I freeze before taking another bite, and then look up to see that Liam is now standing next to my picnic table. Okay, so it’s not my picnic table…but I did find it, so the table is kind of mine.

  “Liam,” I say, setting my burger down, “hi.”

  Hi, as in: What the heck are you doing here? And why are you being judgy about the way I’m eating my food?

  “Hey,” he drawls, tossing up his free hand since his other hand is holding a checkered paper tray filled with two hot dogs covered in—I don’t even know what. “I was just walking by, and I thought it was you sitting here, so I figured I’d make a slight detour.”

  How random.