Hadrian's Lover

by Patricia-Marie Budd

  “Wait,” Todd cuts her off. “Aren’t we missing something?”

  “What?” Frank asks. “I thought we covered everything.”

  “No,” Crystal agrees, “Todd’s right. We forgot about historical implications—lessons learned from the mistakes of the past. We better go back to the one child law. Thanks for reminding us. So, why was the one child law, first instigated by China in the twentieth century, so unsuccessful?”

  Frank doesn’t even give Todd a chance to reply. “That’s easy. The Chinese were heterosexual. The only guaranteed form of birth control for a heterosexual is abstinence. And nobody,” Frank says, looking Todd’s way, “likes to abstain from sex.” Tapping Todd’s knee with his toe, he adds jokingly, “Well, almost nobody.”

  Todd is annoyed. “Heterosexuality is not why the one child law never worked in China.” Conceding slightly, he adds, “It may have been part of the problem, but there was a lot more to it.”

  “Like what?” Franks asks.

  “Cultural stereotypes, boys being more valued than girls,” Todd answers. “Families would just keep having babies until they finally gave birth to a little boy!”

  Crystal shakes her head in disgust, “Thank Hadrian we don’t have that!” Crystal is maddened that her sex has always had to suffer discrimination.

  “Homosexuality has certainly made equality between the sexes easier to attain,” Frank adds. He and Crystal slap hands and grip fingers.

  Suddenly, Todd feels very alone. “You guys make it sound like heterosexual men are to blame for all the world’s evils.”

  “Maybe they are,” Frank suggests. “After all,” he adds, “the world out there is run by heterosexuals.”

  “Mostly run by heterosexual men,” Crystal adds pointedly.

  “By the late twentieth century, homosexual men were beginning to make their mark in politics,” Todd counters. “And,” he adds to placate Crystal, “there were women leaders, too.”

  Crystal rolls her eyes. “I can count them all, too, on one hand,” she sighs. “That Gandhi woman,” tapping her index finger, “Margaret British woman,” her middle finger, “some Muslim lady,” her third finger.

  “Our old country, Canada, had a woman prime minister,” Todd reminds her.

  “Yeah, right Todd.” Crystal is clearly caustic. “And she lasted how long?”

  Smirking, Frank adds, “Who even remembers her name?”

  “Whereas five out of Hadrian’s eight presidents have been women!” Crystal pronounces proudly. Then, feeling sorry for Todd, she leans forward, placing her hand on his. “It might seem like we are blaming everything on the heterosexual male, but seriously Todd, our laws have to be harsh when it comes to heterosexual sex.”

  “It just seems wrong,” Todd mutters. “It feels like we’re prejudiced or something.”

  “We’re not prejudiced,” says Frank, on the defensive. “We’re just realistic. Look at the mess heterosexuals have made of our world.”

  “But that has nothing to do with sex,” Todd replies.

  “No,” Frank agrees. “But it has to do with who is running everything.”

  Todd shakes his head. “Is this going to be on the test?” He desperately wants to change the subject.

  “No,” Crystal answers. “But it does lead us into our next topic: Hadrian’s heterosexual law.”

  “Why is het’ro sex illegal, Todd?” Frank asks pointedly.

  Todd talks to the floor. “It is meant for procreation. No one form of birth control invented by man has ever proved a hundred percent effective.” Sighing, he admits, “That’s all I can remember.”

  Frank finishes for him. “Heterosexual men are proven to be more violent in nature. A heterosexual male is more likely to commit rape, and it is suggested that heterosexual males are pedophiles.”

  “I don’t believe any of that!” Todd retorts. “That’s all subjective. There’s no real evidence.”

  “Frank, Todd’s right,” says Crystal. “The real reason we abandoned heterosexual sex was to stem the tide of the world’s population. We can only guarantee a stable population by combining a homosexual lifestyle and IVF.”

  “True enough,” Frank adds. “But no one can deny the footage taken outside the wall. All those rapes, children beaten. And then, what those murdering bastards did to our female soldiers at the wall.”

  “What?” Todd shakes his head in ignorance.

  Frank sighs. “It happened nearly twenty-five years ago.” He shudders. “Dad showed me the vid stream.”

  Crystal quivers, “Mama Elena showed it to me.”

  “Why don’t they show it to us in school?” Todd asks earnestly.

  “Too bloody.” “Too brutal.” Frank and Crystal’s voices overlap.

  Crystal finishes, “They left that to the news and parental discretion.”

  “So, what happened?” Todd asks.

  Frank begins. “The heterosexual barbarians broke through the wall. They killed all the male soldiers instantly, but they took their time with the women.” Frank pauses for effect. “They raped them first.” Another pause ensues, a moment of silence out of respect for the dead. “One female soldier survived, and only because reinforcements arrived to drive the hordes back into the wastelands. But she had already gone mad. She never did recover.”

  Trembling at the memory, Crystal adds, “Oh, Todd, it was horrible.”

  “And it was all done by heterosexual males.” Looking down at his friend, Frank states, “They were brutal, Todd; I’ve never seen anything like it, and I hope I never have to ever again!” Staring intently at Todd, he says, “Heterosexuality has to be banned.” Frank is almost a little too emphatic. “Or we will end up just like them.” Although he is merely pointing to his wall, Crystal and Todd understand what he really means: “just like those heterosexual bastards outside Hadrian’s Wall.”

  Sensing Todd’s discomfort, Crystal leans forward and pats his knee. Todd reacts as if Crystal were a wasp that just stung him. “Don’t fucking pity me!” He spits out vehemently, “I’m not one of them!” Leaping to his feet, he points to Frank. “You saw me and Frank kiss.”

  Crystal is stunned by the violence of his reaction. Frank smiles, slides his personal slate back onto his desk, opens his lap, and pats his right leg. Todd takes the bait and sits down on Frank’s lap. Frank immediately closes his legs, hemming Todd in. Desperately needing to prove himself gay, Todd leans in and kisses Frank with fervor. Devouring Todd’s lips, Frank uses enough suction to tease Todd’s tongue into his mouth. Todd gives in willingly. Frank’s heart beats rapidly and his hands begin to roam.

  Crystal stands. “All right, enough!” The boys, not listening, continue to kiss feverishly. Frank starts sucking on Todd’s neck, hoping to leave a dark red welt as evidence. Feeling out of place, Crystal remarks, “Study session is clearly over; you two will just have to remember the rest of the stuff on your own.” Even though she knows she is rambling, Crystal can’t seem to stop talking. “I may like watching boys kiss, but this is ridiculous.” Turning to face the door, then spinning back again to look at Todd, she says, “I’m not going to stick around to watch this.” She crosses quickly to the door. “I’m out of here, guys.” Before opening the door, she takes a quick glance back. Neither boy is paying her any mind. “I’m leaving,” but still no reply. “Fine.” She opens the door. “Bye.” It slams shut behind her.

  The sound of the door slamming registers in Frank’s mind. As much as he is enjoying Todd’s fervent attack, a part of him is worried. The way Todd reacted earlier—his forceful claim, “I’m not ready,” coupled with the memory of how horribly their last attempt at sex ended, causes Frank to exhibit some restraint. “Todd,” he pants out heavily. “You keep this up—” He stops to draw in more of Todd’s mouth and flavor. “I won’t be able to stop—so.” Already Frank is regretting what he is about to say, but his friendship for Todd is stronger even than his sexual urge. “Unless you’re really ready,” he warns, “you better go.” To Fr
ank’s infinite displeasure, Todd stands and leaves the room.

  * * * * *

  Salve!

  Fashion Sense

  HNN—Melissa Eagleton Reporting

  Dressing drag has always been the domain of our men. And why not? Before the days of Hadrian, it was one way to fight back against the mundane fashion men were confined to. This tradition grew out of each man’s need to express his inner desires freely in a world determined to clamp down on male expression. Although men are no longer limited in their apparel, the tradition of the drag queen lives on. And why not? Everyone loves a good drag show! Of course, the drag queen still dons the outfit once viewed as the heterosexual female look designed specifically to attract the male sex. No doubt, in a world where a man seducing another man was deemed horrific, this brash and bold expression was both ironic and rebellious! And, of course, Hadrian’s favorite, most brash and bold, drag queen is Pepper Tibbits. Pepper, famous for her—sorry, his, feminine beauty and soprano voice, will be performing tonight at Antinous’ Bedroom. Pepper’s ability to transform from man to woman is truly awe-inspiring and her voice—sorry, he looks so much like a woman—his voice is indeed the finest in all of Hadrian.

  My little pronoun blip presents a problem faced by some women in Hadrian. Though no one disputes men their right to dress drag, when the transformation is as complete as, say Pepper Tibbits, well then, if such a man is not on stage, how is the average woman to know she is really a he? Honestly, boys, we must be able to differentiate; otherwise, your little game of subterfuge is unfair. There have been complaints about this issue made to Hadrian’s Sexual Preference Agency because more than one young woman has been accused of being heterosexual by attempting to seduce a young man dressed in drag. Andrea Hodgson is but one such victim. In her report, she had fallen in love with a woman named Darya, whom she claimed looked 100 percent female. There was absolutely no way you could tell Darya was male. Darya often flirted with Andrea, so the poor woman thought she stood a chance with Darya. When Andrea made her move, though, Darya’s delicate soprano voice suddenly dropped down to a baritone, and Darren accused Andrea of being straight. He immediately exposed her to authorities, and had it not been for the excellent skills of defense Lawyer Faial Raboud, Andrea Hodgson, being over twenty-one years of age, would have been exiled. As we all know, the reeducation camps are designed to aid our wayward youth. Once conscious assent has been given to Hadrian’s lifestyle, anyone discovered acting upon heterosexual tendencies is forced to leave our country and never return! Such was to have been the fate of Andrea Hodgson. Seriously, boys! How can this be fair? Dress in drag and enjoy your tradition, voice your rebellion against the heinous heterosexuals, but please, do not use drag as a weapon against your fellow citizens. Be sure to let the women around you know you are men, and if some poor soul mistakenly assumes you to be female, due to your exceptional talent at presenting your feminine mystique, please kindly inform her of your real sex, and only expose her if she persists in her seductions after your disclosure!

  On a brighter note, now that the leaves are starting to change color, it is time to consider new fall fashions. Burnt orange, yellows, and greens are all the rage right now. But not everyone can wear these colors with ease. Fear not; bright colors stay in style year round in Hadrian. Pink and purple are always a hit no matter what time of year. Just remember: never wear white after the long weekend of September. While white works in the summertime, it fails to impress in the fall. That doesn’t mean you have to go brown, but it certainly means white should go back inside the closet. Hadrian, let’s dress for success, not like a mess.

  Vale!

  T’Neal

  The next morning, Todd walks into his first class to witness Crystal and T’Neal arguing. Aghast he watches them from the other side of the room as if across a vast expanse dividing him from all of humanity. Their voices are loud enough to be heard by everyone, even the kids in the hall. T’Neal looks so short standing next to Crystal—barely 5’ 4”. Towering over him like she is, Crystal looks like an Amazon ready to impale him. T’Neal is not daunted. Lithe and beautiful, T’Neal has never been insecure. His dark black hair is long and shiny. Although he wears more makeup than the average teenager, his use of cosmetics is tasteful, accenting the slightly oriental lift to his eyes, his sharp cheekbones, and full lush lips. When made up like this, T’Neal goes from being merely good looking to being absolutely gorgeous. Pointing to his neck, he screams, “Are you calling me a liar and a thief?” T’Neal is proud of his new piece of jewelry. Donning the bright purple leather dog collar lets everyone knows he is Frank’s boyfriend. A boy has reached the highest pinnacle of teenage hierarchy if he’s dating Frank Hunter. T’Neal is now on top, and no one is going to push him down!

  “It certainly looks like it to me.” Crystal slams each word into T’Neal’s chest with her finger.

  “And I’m telling you,” he spits up, “that Frank gave his collar to me! That I’m his boyfriend! And not some fucking cunt hammer!”

  “Todd is not a strai!” Crystal yells back. “I saw him and Frank kissing yesterday.”

  “I was with Frank yesterday!”

  “Frank was with me and Todd yesterday afternoon, you lying little piece of shit!”

  “I don’t care who Frank was with yesterday afternoon. Or what he was doing with the two of you! He was with me last night!”

  Millicent, one of the girls standing behind Crystal, sees Todd leaning against the doorjamb and gasps, “Oh, Crystal, there he is.”

  Todd shakes his head questioningly. T’Neal spins on his heels to declare, “You are not Frank’s boyfriend, strai. I am!”

  Todd turns white at the accusation. Nobody has ever called him a strai to his face before. It doesn’t seem to matter that the insult comes coupled with the suggestion that Frank and he are dating.

  T’Neal is pleased by the reaction he has coerced out of Todd. Pointing proudly to his neck as evidence, he continues to harangue him. “He gave me his collar last night.” Running his middle finger through the silver ring (ostensibly designed for a dog leash), T’Neal wiggles his shiny purple nails (freshly polished that morning to match his new neckwear) Todd’s way. “Did he ever give you his collar? NO!” Todd needs all of his will power not to throw up. Whirling back to face Crystal, T’Neal unhooks his finger and begins stabbing his own chest. “Me! Frank gave it to me.” Then pointing toward Todd without even bothering to look his way, he exclaims, “Not him!”

  Todd is stunned. “What the fuck?”

  As Frank enters the room, he ruffles Todd’s hair. He takes no notice of Todd’s expression; all his attention is on Todd’s turtleneck. Taking a quick peek underneath, he spies the red splotch he left on Todd’s neck yesterday afternoon. He chuckles before saying, “Hi.” Todd pulls back from him. Frank is again oblivious to Todd’s mood as his eyes are now firmly locked on T’Neal. “Hey, baby,” he says gaily in greeting, “who’s your daddy?”

  T’Neal takes a moment to rejoice in front of Crystal before twirling Frank’s way, “You are, Frank.”

  Frank opens his arms. “Then come to Daddy.” They kiss and embrace.

  Crystal blurts out, “Frank, you pig!”

  Frank looks up over T’Neal’s shoulder. “What the fuck’s your problem?”

  T’Neal, still snuggled up against Frank’s chest, answers, “The stupid cunt says you’re dating Todd. She called me a liar and thief for wearing your collar.” Frank releases T’Neal, looks slowly and steadily at Crystal, then turns to look at Todd, who is pale and leaning against the doorjamb. Turning back to Crystal, Frank’s anger flares. “What the fuck did you say?”

  “Don’t put this on me, you bastard. Yesterday, you and Todd were making out hot and heavy, and suddenly, T’Neal has your collar. I had to leave your room because the two of you were going at it so hard. It was embarrassing, and then this morning, I see this little prick in that.” She points dramatically at the collar around T’Neal’s neck. Millicent and the othe
r girls mutter their disapproval of Frank’s conduct.

  T’Neal chooses to defend Frank. “Well, Todd couldn’t have been very good at making out ‘hot and heavy’ if Frank dumped him so quickly for me. I can’t imagine a cunt hammer being able to perform in the way a real man like Frank is used to.” Shooting a smug glance Todd’s way, he rubs salt in the wound. “That’s right, het’ro. He picked me, not you.”

  All Todd can say is “Fuck me” as he stumbles out of the room.

  Annoyed, Frank yells at his new boyfriend. “Shut up, T’Neal.”

  “But Frank—” Poor T’Neal is bewildered. “What did I do wrong?”

  “You gloat,” Frank says furiously.

  T’Neal is offended. “Well, you never told me you and Todd were dating.”

  “We aren’t.” Frank pushes T’Neal aside and begins to head toward the door.

  Terrified, T’Neal grabs his arm. “Frank, are we still a unit?”

  Frank turns around; his anger dissipates at the sight of T’Neal’s horrified countenance. Apologetically, he says, “Look, T’Neal; none of this is your fault.” He leans in and gives T’Neal a quick kiss. “We’re still a unit.” Looking past his new boyfriend to Crystal, he adds, “That bitch is spreading rumors is all.”

  “Rumors are fake,” Crystal shoots back. “What I saw yesterday is true!”

  Frank glares and points at the woman. “You have no fucking idea what you saw, or what you just did to Todd.” He is so angry his face is purple and his fists clench.

  At this moment, Ms. Sterne enters the classroom. Ms. Sterne is a no nonsense teacher. She wears a suit jacket, tie, and skirt every day. Her silver hair is cropped short, military style, reminding her students she once made the army her career. She wears no makeup and constantly suffers from dark rings under her eyes. “What is all the swearing and screaming about?” She takes a moment to study Frank’s posture. “Frank, you better calm down.” When Frank shows signs of releasing tension and his face fades from purple to splotched pink, Ms. Sterne begins to lecture him. “Frank, you know I don’t approve of swearing in this classroom.”