Hadrian's Lover

by Patricia-Marie Budd

“And I knew/He had tested his holds. It was I who had not… I looked/At the blood on the ledge, and the far valley. I looked/At last in his eyes. He breathed, ‘I’d do it for you, Bob.’”

  “Very nice, Frank.” Although pleased with Frank’s in-depth unearthing of the poem exactly as he had hoped, Mr. Reiner still feels obliged to give Todd the last word. The boy looks so dejected and discombobulated by the entire interpretation. “Okay, Todd, what’s wrong?”

  Todd fumes in frustration because he is unable to break Frank’s logic. He truly believes he is right and Frank is wrong. All he wants is for Frank to admit that it’s not always right to help another person commit suicide. They have been fighting over this issue ever since one of Hadrian’s senators recently tried, and failed, to have the bill legalizing euthanasia revoked. Although referendums are normally only held once a decade, with assisted suicide being such a hot topic, another vote was held mid-decade. Although still a victory in the eyes of the government, 46 percent of the populace voted against the old law. Mr. Reiner purposely chose this poem to match the political mood of the time. He simply had to introduce it as gay literature so he could get the class to this crucial point. “Well,” Todd responds, as one who is defeated but determined not to lose, “I just know I could never do what Bobbie did. I could never throw my best friend over the edge of a cliff to his death.”

  Frank smiles. Of course, everyone in the room knows of his and Todd’s friendship so it is evident Todd means he could never kill Frank, but Frank takes the meaning to an even deeper level. Still smiling, he winks at his best friend, clearly enjoying what he is about to say, “But, Todd, Bobbie wasn’t just killing his best friend. He was helping his lover to die with dignity.”

  Todd’s blush causes excessive laughter among the students. Even Mr. Reiner is enjoying the show.

  With the poem blurring before his eyes, Todd actually begins to stammer. “They weren’t lovers. There’s nothing in the poem that says they’re lovers.”

  “I disagree,” Mr. Reiner pipes up. Now is the time to prove his point. “Frank?” If his suspicion is correct, Frank will know exactly where the line is.

  Smiling triumphantly at Todd, Frank quotes the one and only line in the entire poem that is suggestive of a sexual relationship (the one line that enabled Mr. Reiner to claim this poem was homosexual literature) between David and Bobbie: “Then the two of us rolled in the blanket while round us the cold/Pines thrust at the stars.” Mr. Reiner beams.

  Todd’s response is feeble, and he knows it. “That doesn’t mean they had sex.”

  “Oh, yes it does!” Frank retorts. He has won this debate, and there is no doubt about it. Todd has lost face while he has risen victorious.

  “Well,” says Todd, though defeated, refusing to give in. “I still wouldn’t do it.”

  “Do what?” Frank asks.

  Mr. Reiner raises a brow over this line of questioning. It no longer seems as if the boys are discussing David and Bobbie.

  “Push you over—” Todd suddenly shuts down; if stripped, his entire body would be plasma purple at having just admitted affection for Frank in front of the whole class.

  “Well…” Frank is as happy as if he were in Antinous’ bed. “I’d do it for you, Todd!”

  The line had come straight out of the poem! The class had applauded. Rumor had spread for weeks on end that Frank and Todd were lovers (even if Todd didn’t wear the ridiculous purple dog collar denoting Frank’s ownership). Frank wished it could have been more than a rumor, but he had enjoyed the accolades while they lasted.

  * * * * *

  Salve!

  A Controversial Law

  HNN—Melissa Eagleton Reporting

  Euthanasia. Assisted suicide. Call it what you like, helping another person to die has always been a topic of heated debate in Hadrian. This controversial law, in place since the founding families introduced the first constitution, never ceases to spark argument among our citizens. There is a small contingency of religious citizens in Hadrian—mostly Jewish, Islamic, and Christian (historically at odds in the outside world but, ironically, in agreement on this topic)—who have united to fund a campaign against euthanasia. And they are hard at it! There is no doubt about that! Every ten years, Hadrian’s citizens gather at the polls to reaffirm our country’s policies and beliefs. One such referendum, of course, is to determine whether or not to retain the controversial euthanasia law on our books. So volatile has this debate become that proponents against assisted suicide were able to push for a mid-decade vote, something unheard of previously in Hadrian’s short history. Fortunately, as with every other past vote, the majority of Hadrian’s citizens determine the “death with dignity” law to be both moral and essential. Even so, radical opposition claims the last referendum to have been a victory since only 54 percent of the populace voted to keep the law in place. As a result, these people are convinced that this decade will be the one when Hadrian votes out the law that permits an individual to commit suicide with the help of loved ones or a medical practitioner if said person feels he or she can no longer live with dignity.

  Here at HNN, we are split in our beliefs. I stand for the human right to die with dignity while many others feel that assisted suicide is essentially murder. One cameraman states that death is not a human choice, but the dominion of God. I assure you, he is alone in that opinion. But, at the very least, our production manager would like to see stringent rules in place that will effectively determine what constitutes a life no longer worth living. Curious to know what our viewers think, we ask that you voc in to our poll at @HNN#E-AS/MDR and let Hadrian know your opinion. Why wait for the next referendum? Let’s tell our government how we feel right now! With a presidential election coming up, I can assure you that Hadrian’s senate will listen closely to the Salve! viewers’ opinion.

  Vale!

  Making Amends

  When Frank returns, he is ready. Having visited the darkness of his soul, he has come to realize he is to blame for the pain Todd is suffering. He has been selfish. Papa Dean was right. When Todd said it would be him and me one day, I should have broken off with T’Neal, but I wanted to get laid! Scorn and self-recrimination burn deep. If only I had stayed by Todd’s side. Professed myself his boyfriend. Never trusted him alone with that woman! Todd only turned to Crystal because I had abandoned him. Had we been dating, she never would have come on to him. But even that isn’t the reason he decides to help Todd. Anguish is in the truth. I raped Todd. Shuddering, he remembers Todd’s words, “You’re no better than Weller.” Those words forced Frank to admit that Todd and he had never made love. I raped him, he reminds himself, and then I shamed him. With this awareness came understanding. What little spirit and strength Todd had left in him were destroyed inside reeducation camp. All that remains now of his friend is a battered body and a shattered soul desperately seeking rest. Terrified by this reality, Frank realizes there is only one way to make amends, to end Todd’s suffering. I helped put him here, Frank realizes. I must help him escape.

  Before walking into Todd’s room, Frank charms the nurse on duty. “Why don’t you take a five minute break? I’ll be in the room with Todd. Everything is going to be okay.”

  Grateful, the nurse smiles at Frank. He could use a little down time, having been chained to his desk for the past five hours. “I sure could use a break.” Wincing slightly and using his eyes to nod toward the washroom, he admits, “I really have to go. I’ve been farting up a storm.”

  Frank laughs, then nods, “Go.”

  As soon as the nurse exits, Frank enters Todd’s room. Todd’s eyes are closed. “Frank?” he asks without opening them.

  “Yes.”

  There is silence as the boys wait: Frank for Todd to ask; Todd for Frank to say he is ready. Finally, Todd initiates. “Will you do it?”

  “Yes.”

  Todd sighs, “Thank you.”

  Frank walks over to the bed. His first order of business is to remove from Todd’s chest the attached
electrodes that keep track of his heartbeat. The sudden elongated beep and straight line on the machine fixes the boys’ attention; both are aghast and in awe of the image. Frank jerks back into action, opening his shirt, placing the electrodes on his chest, causing the machine to resume its steady beat, complementing the rise and fall of the heart line. Deciding now is the time, Frank reaches behind Todd’s head and pulls at the pillow. He has to yank harder than he had intended to release the pillow since Todd’s head is strapped down and the pillow is wedged beneath it. Prior to smothering his friend, Frank bends over and kisses Todd on the lips; then he whispers into his ear, “I love you.”

  The silence is overpowering, the repeating beeps of Frank’s heartbeat failing to register in Frank’s stunned mind. Suddenly, the sound explodes in his head like a rapid succession of bombs, an eerie reminder of the corpse lying on the bed—its face still covered by the pillow—Frank’s hands still holding it down. Pale, shivering, Frank doesn’t move. He knows Todd is dead, but he cannot will himself to let go. He is afraid to release his grip from fear of seeing “It.” “It”—the very word Bobbie used to describe David’s corpse.

  Outside, at the nurse’s station, seeing nothing untoward, a young man smiles at the sight of a visiting lover leaning over to comfort his friend. Suddenly, the nurse is shocked into action when he watches Frank slowly straighten and then rip something away from his chest.

  * * * * *

  Salve!

  Murder or Assisted Suicide?

  HNN—Melissa Eagleton reporting

  The death of Todd Middleton, son of Will Middleton, the bioengineer who brought the soya bean to Hadrian, comes as a shock to everyone who knew and loved the boy. Todd was only seventeen years old and beloved by many. Like his father before him, Todd Middleton was known to Hadrian as a superstar on the b-ball court and had even been offered a full early entrance scholarship to Antinous Uni prior to his having been exposed as a heterosexual male.

  What is most shocking about Todd Middleton’s death is how he was brutally murdered by his lover. Their peers knew Todd Middleton and Frank Hunter as the best of friends who, shortly after Todd had been exposed as a heterosexual, were said to have coupled. Because Todd had already had sexual intercourse with a young woman, this sudden change in their relationship was insufficient to stem Todd’s removal from society and his being placed in a reeducation camp. Todd Middleton was housed at the Northeast Camp under the care of Gideon Weller with Jason Warith as the boy’s guardian. Although Frank Hunter has confessed to his crime, Jason Warith insists that the real murderer in this case is Gideon Weller.

  Frank Hunter’s defense lawyer is Ms. Faial Raboud, renowned for obtaining an acquittal for Andrea Hodgson, who had been exposed as a heterosexual by Darya Danson.

  Raboud’s strategy of defense for Frank Hunter is to focus on Todd Middleton’s death as having been assisted suicide and not an act of murder. As we know, euthanasia is legal in Hadrian if the individual requesting aid is of sound mind and clearly suffering from a debilitating illness. To die with dignity is every Hadrian citizen’s right. The question being raised by National Prosecutor Graham Sabine is whether or not Todd Middleton was actually suffering from any weakening and incurable disease. Also, as Sabine succinctly puts it, “When the euthanasia law was put into place, it is highly unlikely Congress considered depression as life-threatening. Depression,” the national prosecutor points out, “cannot be deemed unbearable as it is seldom lifelong and there are always ways to help cure the victim.” Medical professionals agree Todd Middleton was in a state of depression at the time of his death, but they are in disagreement whether the quality of his life had been drastically diminished. What validates euthanasia is when the victim can no longer live a quality existence and it would be kinder to allow him to die with dignity. All of this hinges on the individual in question being of sound mind when making the decision to die. As Sabine points out, “Severe depression disables the individual from having a ‘sound mind.’ Thus,” Sabine argues, “Todd Middleton’s request to die should have been denied.” Defense attorney Faial Raboud must prove to the court that hopelessness is not akin to mental instability and that one can make sound choices while suffering from depression. Raboud has set up quite a challenge for herself if she is going to prove that Todd Middleton had lost all self-respect with no hope of ever restoring his self-esteem.

  Vale!

  A Private Meeting

  Defense attorney Faial Raboud had reluctantly agreed to a private meeting with National Prosecutor Graham Sabine, to be accompanied by Crystal Albright and her mothers. Faial judiciously chose to keep Frank Hunter and his fathers ignorant about this conference. She will reveal all to them after the fact, but emotions are running too high right now for the family—anger, hurt, and disillusionment have built voraciously into a desperate need to scapegoat Crystal Albright. The girl certainly holds her share of responsibility in this tragedy, Faial acknowledges, but she is not deserving of Dean Hunter’s severe reaction—his extreme hate for her. The man’s anger and pain have taken him beyond the realm of reason.

  Scanning the meeting room while she waits, Faial notes that it is the standard issue of the conference meet and greet. Situated on the third floor of the national government’s central office building (Hadrian’s tallest building), the room has north windows that open onto the building’s roof garden. The room is filled with natural light, offering no light fixtures for after daylight hours. No sunrays ever penetrate the room, though, as the sun is always too far southeast or west for any of it to enter the building. Outside this wall-length gemstone is one of the most beautiful roof gardens Faial had ever seen. Being early July, every flower is in bloom, including the tiger lilies and the ever present wild rose. “Ahh,” Faial sighs involuntarily, there is a Brown-Eyed Susan. And another! She loves the Brown-Eyed Susan! That had been her genetic father’s nickname for her. She also notes a spray of daisies, carnations, and gladiolas.

  Blinking and looking to the time display in the upper left of her eye screen, Faial sighs, this time disconcertedly. Graham Sabine is late. Sabine is always late, she reminds herself. Graham Sabine is not known for his punctuality. Faial believes he is tardy on purpose in an attempt to unbalance the opposition. By leaving her to sit alone, waiting, worrying, Faial reasons, Sabine means to create tension, bringing on a state of mind he hopes will discombobulate her. This tactic never worked the last two times he tried it, so it amuses Faial that he continues to use it on her. Who was it that said insanity is to do the same thing over and expect different results? Even though she can’t remember the original author, the thought still makes her giggle.

  Bringing her thoughts back to Frank Hunter, Faial’s jovial mood diminishes. Though unaffected by Sabine’s repetitive tactics, Faial is fully aware of the case’s complexities. Getting Frank Hunter off will not be easy. Her partner told her she was crazy to take the case, but there is more to this than a killing. Instinct compels her. The statements of Dean Hunter and Jason Warith have exposed an ugly truth about Hadrian, a truth she has tasted, felt, but prior to this case, has never been able to expose. Andrea Hodgson’s case taught her all about the ills of imposing stringent sexual preference laws on individuals. Like her client Andrea, Faial had come to believe Darya Danson dressed in drag to lure women. Though she could never prove this supposition, it had opened her eyes to the realities of imposed sexual preference. Men and women must be free to choose with whom they wish to share their bodies. If society needs law to avoid excessive procreation, so be it, but no one, Faial has come to believe, has the right to decide whom a man or a woman should love. The whole notion that incidents of rape and pedophilia will increase astronomically if heterosexuality becomes legal is sheer nonsense. Rapists and pedophiles are a class all their own. It is unfair to use their despicable behavior against normal sexual drives. Whether Hadrian’s citizens are ready to accept it or not, Faial reasons, heterosexual desires are as normal as homosexual ones.

  Alt
hough she currently lacks proof to support her beliefs, the Frank Hunter case, Faial truly believes, if played right, will reveal the evidence required for much needed reforms. The fact that her client has confessed to murder doesn’t make her task any easier. Somehow, she has to get through to the boy that there is more to this case than the act of suffocation. That act, as Faial and the boy’s fathers believe, was assisted suicide, but Frank is not helping matters. Using this time alone while waiting for Sabine and the Albrights, Faial turns her mind to the seriousness of this case.

  Frank Hunter’s confession is damaging. As soon as the nurse entered Todd Middleton’s room, Frank confessed. He repeated the same story to government law officials, even to National Prosecutor Graham Sabine prior to speaking with her! When Faial finally had an opportunity to meet with her client, he uttered the exact same words again. It was like listening to a soldier spout off rank, name, and serial number: “Todd is dead. I killed him. I suffocated him with his pillow.” Even so, Faial is sure she can work around Frank Hunter’s self-damning act. Although her client is taciturn, making it hard for her to uncover motivation, she did get a lot of background information from his fathers and Jason Warith. Jason Warith, Faial smiles. Now there is someone I look forward to working with. They are like-minded with respect to Hadrian’s reeducation system, yet he is not so open-minded regarding the radical change for which she is hoping—making the heterosexual lifestyle legal. Even so, Faial feels almost akin to Jason Warith, as if she has finally encountered a kindred spirit. They may not agree on every point, but together, they can pave the way for some necessary changes to occur in Hadrian. It would help to have some founding family backing, but Faial knows that is asking too much.

  Focusing her mind back on today’s meeting, Faial considers its potential ramifications; if Graham wants to meet about Crystal Albright, no doubt he knows her testimony will be damaging. I wonder if he knows about the phone messaging? Not likely, Faial reasons, as that would have required the girl to expose herself. Reaching her hand inside her coat pocket, Faial smiles as her fingers caress the thin metal. Today’s meeting will be revealing, especially if what Dean Hunter says is true—Of course what he says is true; I have all the evidence I need right here. She taps the phone as she considers this. The text message he judiciously saved says it all, but the evidence will be all the more effective if Faial can get the girl to admit to the truth in court. I want to hear her say it, Faial ruminates. I want the court to hear the words come right out of her mouth.