Dress to Impress

by Coleen McLoughlin

  I shook my head in despair. My sister is too weird sometimes. Why did she want to be an old footballer when the sixties was famous for some of the best fashion in the world? Are we even related?

  “We’ll get Nan a lovely outfit on Saturday morning,” Mum said. “She still loves all the sixties styles, so she’ll look perfect for a sixties party; even one that’s a surprise.”

  “What are you going to wear, Coleen?” Dad asked.

  “Dad,” Em moaned. “Don’t be asking her that. We’ll all be here for hours.”

  “Zip it, cheeky,” I said warningly.

  My outfit was going to be a surprise. I needed a can of silver spray paint and some peace and quiet on Saturday afternoon, and ta-da! I was going to knock everyone’s socks off.

  Thinking these happy thoughts, my brain drifted back to the question of Jimmy Wilson. Now we knew what he was up to, we could turn it in our favour and set him up, big time. All my plan needed was a little bit of help from Lucy…

  Nine

  “So what do you want me to do?” Lucy asked with a frown on the bus on Monday morning. “Easy,” I said. “Play up to Jimmy this week, just like Summer does.”

  “Ew,” Mel said, shuddering.

  “Coleen,” Lucy began, looking uncertain.

  “I don’t mean you have to hold his hand or anything,” I said hastily. “Just – you know. Laugh at his jokes. Smile at him loads. Make out that you think he’s great. Mel and me will help, but you’re the key. Jimmy’ll lap it up, and then he’ll fall into our trap like a prize plum.”

  The bus pulled into the school bus stop and we all piled off and through the gates.

  “OK,” said Lucy finally. “I guess he deserves it, right?”

  “Good on you,” I said, punching Lucy lightly on the arm. “Just think of your yummy date with Frankie on Saturday as your prize.”

  “With Jimmy Wilson’s comeuppance as the cherry on the cake!” Mel giggled.

  “Here’s your first opportunity, Lucy,” said Mel, as Jimmy Wilson came running down the corridor towards us. “Set those teeth to full beam, girl.”

  Lucy straightened her shoulders. Then she turned her head and gave Jimmy a massive toothy smile as he raced past. Taken totally by surprise, Jimmy cannoned into the lockers that lined the corridors with a massive crash.

  “Oh,” Lucy gasped. “Are you OK?”

  “Sure,” said Jimmy, rubbing his knee.

  Lucy burst into these massive squeals of laughter. It was so unlike her that I suddenly felt my own mad giggles bubbling up in my tummy. I stared at the walls, frantically looking for something really boring to calm myself down. But when the giggles are about to hit, even posters about fire drills are totally hilarious.

  “Ooh, Frankie!” Lucy laughed on and on like a crazy person, helping Jimmy Wilson to his feet. “You’re dead funny.”

  “What did I say?” Jimmy asked in surprise. He glanced at me cautiously. “And what’s wrong with your mate?”

  My cheeks felt like two fat balloons. I shook my head, determined not to open my mouth and let the giggles out.

  “Um…” said Mel, improvising quickly. “Toothache?”

  Jimmy looked at Lucy again. She was still grinning at him like a maniac. “Listen,” he said at last, “I’m sorry about last weekend. But it was just a laugh, yeah?”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Lucy giggled through gritted teeth. “I’ve forgotten it already.”

  “Right,” said Jimmy, scratching his head. “Well. See you in class.”

  “Ow, ow, ow,” I moaned as we all ran on up the corridor, leaving Jimmy staring uncertainly after us. “Never try and swallow the giggles, guys. It gives you massive indigestion.”

  It looked like our plan was working. The first person Jimmy smiled at when he came into our classroom was Lucy. Summer looked totally furious, and barged into Lucy’s desk when the bell went.

  “Whoops,” Mel smirked. “Someone’s not happy.”

  “Forget about Summer,” I said. “Let’s concentrate on getting Jimmy right where we want him. Sitting in the palm of Lucy’s hand.”

  At dinner time, we went and sat on the same table as Jimmy and Ravi. Ravi looked a bit worried. Talking to girls isn’t Ravi Singh’s strong point.

  “Budge up, ladies,” said Jimmy cheerfully, “if you want to talk to the King.”

  “I thought that was Elvis Presley,” I said, unable to help myself. Jimmy Wilson was so full of himself!

  “It usually is,” Jimmy said, quick as anything, “but it’s his day off today.”

  We laughed for real at that one. To my surprise, I was warming to Jimmy Wilson. He was really funny when you got past all the boasting and the posing and the naff one-liners. Poor old Ravi just looked gloomily down at the table while Jimmy went on about the weirdest things you can imagine: his brother Billy’s rows of old football boots, his mum’s obsession with vacuuming their hall carpet, his dad’s secret collection of model soldiers.

  “And as for my brother Fr—I mean, Jimmy,” Jimmy went on. “He’s so perfect, his teachers give him grades before they even look at his homework. He just zones them out with his eyes, and they go: A, A, A…” He moved his arms around like an android as he droned the “A, A, A” bit.

  “He sounds like a pain,” I said, waiting for Jimmy to diss Frankie.

  Jimmy shrugged. “Nah,” he said. “He’s perfect, remember? What’s not to like?”

  “What did you make of that?” Lucy asked in a low voice as we stacked our dishes and headed out to the playground.

  “I think your theory about Jimmy actually wanting to be Frankie is dead on,” I said. I was starting to feel guilty about what we were doing here. Then I remembered Jimmy’s horrible trick on Lucy, and I hardened my heart. We were going to see this through, for Lucy’s sake.

  By Friday, I was feeling seriously guilty. Whatever Jimmy Wilson had done to Lucy, he had apologised. We shared a table with him and Ravi at dinner most days that week (to Summer’s disgust), and I swear – I’ve never laughed so much in my life. And now here we were, sneakily setting him up like a skittle, ready to knock him down.

  “Hiya,” Jimmy said, looking pleased to see us as we trooped into our classroom on Friday morning. “Listen,” he said to Lucy, “do you fancy meeting up this weekend? I mean,” he stumbled a bit, “for real this time?”

  Me and Mel exchanged glances. This was the moment we’d been building up to all week. Somehow, it felt pretty flat.

  “Sure,” said Lucy after a minute. “Why don’t we try The Music Place again?”

  “Really?” Jimmy said in surprise. “You wanna go back there, after – what happened?”

  “Like I said, I’ve forgotten about that,” said Lucy. “Six thirty at the café on Saturday sound OK?”

  Jimmy beamed. “Great!”

  “Why do I feel like a big fat toad?” Lucy whispered to us as we headed on to class.

  “We have to sort this once and for all,” I said. “And this is the only way to do it.”

  It was true. But it didn’t make me feel any better.

  On Saturday morning Mum put her head round my bedroom door. “Your nan and I are off shopping to get Nan an outfit for tonight,” she said. “You coming, love?”

  I shook my head. I wasn’t really in the mood.

  Mum frowned at me. “Are you OK, Coleen? I’ve never known you to turn down the chance of a shopping trip.”

  I shrugged. I hadn’t slept very well, to tell the truth.

  “You’re looking peaky,” Mum said. “A little trip into town will cheer you up. We can’t have you all down in the mouth for Nan’s party. We’ll get a cake in that coffee place if you like?”

  Come on, Col, I said to myself. Are you really turning down shopping and cake, just because you’re feeling guilty about Jimmy Wilson?

  “And how about we get you a new necklace or something?” Mum suggested.

  That clinched it.

  “Well,” I said slowly, “I do nee
d something spaceagey for my outfit tonight.”

  We took Nan to the big department store in town. There are loads of little boutiques full of the stuff she likes in there. I spotted something almost as soon as we went inside.

  “There,” I said, pouncing on a lemon-coloured dress with a fitted bodice and a swirly skirt. “What do you think?”

  Nan loved it. By the time we’d bought that, and a pair of cute yellow shoes to go with it, and a massive slice of chocolate cake at my favourite café, and a brilliant chunky chrome-chain necklace for me, I was fizzing with excitement about the party and hardly worrying about Jimmy Wilson at all.

  “We’ll see you round at ours about seven then, Doreen?” Mum said as we left Nan’s house with a wave.

  “See you then, love,” Nan called.

  Giggling quietly together, me and Mum linked arms and strolled back round to ours.

  After a quick bite of lunch, I took myself off down the bottom of the garden to sort out my outfit. Dad has an old shed down there where he keeps his tools, old tins of paint and cans of smelly stuff like white spirit and engine oil. Dad had been a bit surprised when I’d asked if I could use the can of silver car paint he had sitting on a shelf in there.

  “Make sure you spray it out in the garden,” Dad had warned. “That stuff stinks and will riddle your brain with holes if you do it inside.”

  I carefully put down four big black binbags on the patio and placed the minidress that I’d made out of an old pillowcase on the top. Fixing on a mask the way Dad had shown me, I started blasting the pillowcase with the spray paint. When one side of the dress was dry, I turned it over and did the other. I was going to wear my knee-high black boots and my new chain necklace with it, plus my blonde wig and a little black peaked cap of Mum’s.

  “Twiggy, eat your heart out,” I murmured, twirling about in front of the long mirror in our hall when I’d finished.

  Mum and Dad were dashing around upstairs, getting their outfits sorted. It was gone five o’clock, and they were all supposed to have gone over to The Music Place by now to help get everything ready. I was going to stay and wait for Mel and Lucy, and then we were going round to fetch Nan at five thirty.

  “Great outfit, Col,” Em said, clattering downstairs in her Bobby Charlton kit. “Very Bond girl.”

  “Cheers,” I said. I glanced at Em’s baldie wig. “You look, er,” I said, fishing around desperately for something nice to say, “very…footballey.”

  “I know,” Em said happily. “Great, isn’t it?”

  “Make sure you get Nan to The Music Place for six thirty, Coleen,” Mum fretted, layering on some extra eyeliner at the hall mirror while Dad slicked back his hair with some stinky grease in the mirror behind her. “Think you’ll be OK?”

  “Sorted,” I said. “Go on – you’ll be late!”

  “Do you think we’ve really got time for this, Coleen?” Nan asked as me, Mel and Lucy hurried her down Lions’ Walk. “We can’t be late for your mum and dad. It’s almost six thirty!”

  Nan looked brilliant. The lemon-coloured dress swirled around her like a cloud, and her yellow shoes made a lovely clickety-clack noise on the pavement.

  “You have to see this,” I said, steering her down towards The Music Place. “Your initials are as clear as anything. We’ve got loads of time to get back home.”

  “If you say so,” Nan said doubtfully.

  I glanced at Mel and Lucy and winked. They both looked excellent. Mel was wearing a pair of gold trousers and a brown top, with these huge gold earrings swinging from her ears and her hair all fluffed up into the biggest Afro I’d ever seen. Lucy’s new blue jacket looked adorable over a cute little miniskirt, and her mum had helped to style her hair up into this fantastic beehive.

  We could hear Twist and Shout pumping out of the Wurlitzer as we pushed open the glass doors of The Music Place.

  “SURPRISE!” shouted everyone.

  Nan goggled at the table all laid up with fantastic food, at Mum and Dad dancing around the jukebox, and at Em grinning madly from underneath her horrible baldie wig.

  “Is this all for me?” she gasped.

  “Of course it is, Nan,” I laughed, and gave her a smacking kiss. “Happy birthday!”

  Nan wandered up the steps to the café in a daze as her guests cheered and clapped. Me and my mates exchanged high fives. We’d done it!

  A blond lad in a nice checked shirt came down the steps towards us.

  “Hi,” he said with a grin. “Great party!”

  I started to smile back. But then I panicked. Was this Frankie – or Jimmy?

  Ten

  Panic was all over Lucy and Mel’s faces too. It was clear that they were wondering the same thing. How could we find out which twin we were looking at without giving away our plan?

  “Hi,” I said, a little wildly. “Great to see you, er…”

  “Frankie,” said Frankie/Jimmy, looking a little confused.

  Of course, that didn’t help. We knew Frankie as Frankie, and Jimmy as Frankie!

  “You remember this is for my nan’s birthday?” I gabbled on. “Doreen?” I waggled my eyebrows at Frankie/Jimmy and hoped in desperation that I had the right Wilson twin.

  “Oh yeah,” said the lad, his brow clearing. “And your grandad was Patrick, right?”

  “Frankie,” I said in relief, “it is you.”

  “I said it was,” Frankie said, rolling his eyes. “What, are you expecting Jimmy too?”

  On cue, the big glass doors swung open behind us all. Jimmy stepped into The Music Place.

  “The King is here!” he said, grinning and spreading his arms out wide.

  And then the grin fell off his face as he saw us standing beside his brother.

  The likeness was incredible. Down to the last freckle, Frankie and Jimmy Wilson were like mirror images. Talk about weird, seeing them both standing there like that, gawping at each other.

  “Frankie Wilson?” said Mel. “Meet Frankie Wilson.”

  “Did anyone ever tell you how much you guys look alike?” I added.

  Jimmy just stood there, rooted to the spot like someone had glued the soles of his shoes to the floor. It was awful, but kind of funny at the same time.

  “Hi, Jimmy,” Frankie said, sounding quite cool. “Back on the scene of the crime?”

  “It was just a laugh, that stunt last weekend,” Jimmy said nervously. “Sorry, mate. Anyway,” he said, turning to Lucy, “I thought we’d sorted all that out?”

  “We did,” Lucy said. “But we didn’t get the whole truth of it, did we, Jimmy?”

  “I know,” Jimmy said. He shuffled his feet a bit. “Not the kind of thing that perfect Frankie would do. And here I am, plain old Jimmy Wilson, and I can see you lot all standing there hating my guts.”

  “We did,” I said. “But we don’t any more.”

  Jimmy looked hopeful. “Really?” he said.

  “Really,” I replied.

  “So,” Jimmy said cautiously, “are you gonna be mates with both Frankie and Jimmy Wilson then?”

  “Looks that way,” said Mel.

  “Blimey,” said Jimmy. “I don’t think that’s ever happened, has it, Frankie?”

  “Nope,” Frankie grinned.

  “There’s a first time for everything,” I said, grabbing both Wilson twins and pushing them up the steps towards the party food.

  It was nearly time for my big birthday surprise. All the food had been cleared off the plates and the bottles of wine and juice were practically empty. Dad was groaning quietly at one end of the table, complaining that he’d eaten too many pickles in his burger, and Em’s baldie wig hung on the back of her chair (“It’s so hot!” she’d complained to me, pulling it off somewhere halfway through the meal). Frankie and Lucy were nose to nose at the window, talking about some new band they’d heard recently. Me and Mel had spent most of the meal cheering Jimmy up. It turned out he’d really liked Lucy after all.

  “I should’ve had that date with Luc
y when I got the chance, instead of behaving like a prize idiot,” he sighed over his Coke.

  “Plonker,” I said. “Anyway, there’s always Summer. She’d go out with you again in a flash.”

  “I can’t blame her,” Jimmy smirked, perking up at once. “I am a total love god after all.”

  Mum stood up just as me and Mel fell about laughing.

  “Doreen?” she said. “We’ve got a special surprise for you.”

  “Another one?” Nan asked. “I don’t think I can take much more!”

  Mum winked at me. “Over to you, Coleen!”

  “Remember how I told you about the initials on the stool, Nan?” I said, helping my nan out of her chair.

  “No need to apologise, love,” Nan said, flapping her hands at me. “I should’ve known too much time had passed for you to have found our initials after all these years. And I’ve had such a lovely time tonight.”

  “Well, I found them,” I said, smiling. “They were in this booth, right over here.”

  I guided her down the café steps. Everyone else followed close behind. Mr O’Hara stood behind the counter, polishing glasses and grinning at me as I pushed open the door to the second booth along. The plaque twinkled on the wall, set neatly just above the CD player.

  Doreen and Patrick

  24 September 1967

  All You Need Is Love

  Best Mates Mirror

  Give your bedroom a friendly facelift by decorating your mirror with photos of your best friends. Now you’ll be reminded of them every morning!

  You will need:

  A mirror (large or small it doesn’t matter)

  Photos of your friends

  Pretty wrapping paper (sparkly paper is my fave)

  Plain card

  Double-sided sticky tape

  PVA glue or Pritt Stick

  Scissors

  Step 1

  Draw shapes on to the plain card – hearts, stars, flowers, triangles – and cut them out. Trace around the card shapes on to the wrapping paper and cut out the paper shapes.