Obsession: Loving an Alpha Male

by S. K. Lessly

  I blinked a few times before nodding. “Great. Thank you.”

  He took the bag from me, opened it and tilted my way saying, “I already ate, but I bought something just in case you were hungry.”

  I frowned and asked again, not thinking how he would answer me. “If you’re not hungry, why did we meet for breakfast?”

  He tilted his head and leaned back from me as he answered, “I didn’t want to miss any opportunity to see you.”

  He brought his coffee cup to his lips and slowly sipped. I was stunned again!

  I had nothing to say to that, so I looked in the bag and pulled out a piece of banana nut muffin and tried not to notice how intently he was looking at me.

  I finally asked him, just trying to not concentrate on the way he was looking at me. “So were you serious back at the café when you said you knew how to bake?”

  I looked over at him, and he smiled, “Yeah, baking isn’t my strong suit, but I do know how to cook.” I looked at him skeptically and he added, “Seriously, my mom felt it was important for her sons and daughter to know how to take care of themselves in the kitchen and around the house. She was hoping if we knew how to take care of ourselves maybe we won’t marry some woman just because she cooks and cleans.”

  “Oh, what a wise woman your mom is.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, she would happily agree with you.”

  He then started telling me more about himself, where he was from, and how he grew up.

  The next thing I knew we were laughing and joking as if we were old friends and I felt completely relaxed. We started talking about our likes and dislikes with ease. We talked about silly things we used to do as a kid or rather he told me stories and I’d just laugh. I swear he made me laugh so hard my stomach was hurting. I told him about my new found appreciation for baseball and that began the sports stories of his childhood.

  What I didn’t talk about was my family. I mean, I told him a little bit, but for the most part he shared more about himself than I did about me. But he didn’t seem to mind, and that made me feel comfortable, if that’s a good way to explain it. Talking to him felt so easy, so familiar, I really didn’t want this moment to end.

  “So when’s the last time you’ve been home?” I asked him.

  “Oh, it’s been a few months actually. We had one of our family dinners the last time I was home. Shane and Malcolm, my two older brothers, came over and my little sister Liliana and her new husband Nolan came as well. And of course, a few cousins, aunts and uncles stopped by too. I hadn’t seen everyone in a long time, so it was great to see them all.”

  “Really, I would think that since you lived in Maryland you would see them more often,” I said.

  “I usually do, but I’ve been overseas for most of the year doing contract work, and I just actually got back into the states not too long ago.” He shared.

  My eyes got wide. “Really? Where were you? Are you military or something?”

  He chuckled at the excitement I could barely contain. “No, I’m not military, but I was a civilian contractor working in Afghanistan and Iraq.”

  I frowned. “Wasn’t that dangerous?”

  He nodded. “It was at times, but the work exposure was well worth it. It’s actually how I landed the job I have now.”

  I shook my head. “Wow… I don’t think I could do anything like that, work in such a dangerous setting.”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t an easy decision that I made. My two brothers are military and spent most of their military careers in the desert, and they hated the fact that I was there. They’ve seen what that country was like and didn’t want me to put myself in harm’s way, but everything was fine. I came back in one piece, and I think a little wiser than before I left. Seeing death over there and hearing the mortars and guns going off in the distance makes you appreciate what you have at home you know.”

  “I can only imagine.”

  We sat in silence for a minute before I said, “I guess I better get going. I am actually working today.”

  We cleaned up our mess and as we stood, Josh reached for my hand again as we walked back to Sara’s.

  I know you’ve noticed that I haven’t mentioned my reactions to him holding my hand. Well, to tell you the truth, I’m kinda speechless at the moment!

  “So Summer, with two sisters and a brother actively serving our country, what brought you to Pittsburgh? I would think New Jersey was a little faster paced than this city.”

  I smiled. “Yeah, it is, but I kind of prefer the slowness. And I don’t know, I guess I grew tired of living under my parents’ thumb.”

  “That sounds like a good reason to move away. How long have you been away?

  “Five years, give or take…”

  “Wow, that’s a long time. Have you been back since you’ve moved?”

  “No, I haven’t.”

  My eyes darted from his, and I tried to control my breathing. The story of my family was definitely not something I wanted to tell him. I felt Josh watching me, and I knew he could tell my family was a sore spot for me. But he never pushed me to share, and he had no idea how much I appreciated that. He let me walk quietly next to him with no problem…

  When I gathered myself, I said, “Thank you for making me come to breakfast with you.” I groaned and closed my eyes. I can’t believe I just said that… “Please, tell me you know what I mean.”

  Josh said to me, “I know what you mean, and it was my pleasure. Maybe we can do this again.”

  I smiled up at him. “I’d like that.”

  Josh leaned into me and kissed me lightly on the cheek, but as he pulled back I could see it in his eyes he wanted more… and really so did I.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said to me, and it was then that I realized we were back at Sara’s.

  I think I’m in trouble…

  Joshua

  Why has she constantly been on my mind? He asked himself.

  Josh ran his hands over his head. He tried to focus on something else, anything else, except for the way Summer looked at him, or the way she smiled, and how badly he wanted to see her again. The only way he could do that, however, was to surround himself with a distraction. He decided to go to lunch today with some of the guys that he worked with, but as he sat there listening to the back and forth conversations, his mind went straight to her.

  He couldn’t believe the urges he’d been experiencing these last few days. The need to see her, to touch her, was completely driving him crazy. He’d only spent a small amount of time with her, but it didn’t matter. He knew what he wanted.

  He wanted to tease her again; watching her turn red with embarrassment confirmed for him her sweetness. He wanted to make her laugh again, make her smile and have those beautiful bright eyes on him. He wanted to see her get nervous, and he kept wondering if her lips were as soft as they looked. He wanted to feel her in his arms again. He wanted to know what she tasted like, and most of fucking all, how good she would feel if he was balls deep inside her.

  When they had breakfast together he couldn’t shake his desire to share himself with her. He wondered if it would be this easy to talk to her all the time. It amazed him how free and open he felt being with her. He’d never been that open with anyone, and actually prided himself on his autonomy, and for some reason just seeing her smile and hearing her laugh at his jokes and stories, made everything worthwhile. He knew how short life was, and he wasn’t going to let opportunities pass him by if he could help it.

  What bothered him the most, however, was the way she reacted when he touched her or got close to her. She wasn’t obvious about it, but he could see the subtle way she jumped when he moved close to her or reached to touch her. She seemed to be on edge, even though he could tell she was trying to relax. He didn’t like that. It was a sign to him that she’d been hurt in some way, and his first thought went to her family.

  She hadn’t said much about them, so he could only speculate, but his curiosity was peaked. He wondered if her
shyness and the trepidation that was always seizing her had something to do with them. He knew he had to take his time with her and have patience. But Josh had never been the type who exuded patience. Whatever, whenever he wanted something or someone, he went after it. He didn’t want to scare her, but he couldn’t wait around for her to get comfortable. His wants was taking over. He could see it in her eyes and her body language that she was affected by him. He just needed to find out how much, or if he was wasting his time.

  So earlier this morning after his run, he made his way to the café. As he walked inside and her eyes fell on him, he couldn’t help but smile. Today he was going to take charge.

  He needed to push this along, or he would truly go out of his mind. When it was his turn to order she looked up at him and blushed. Damn, I haven’t done or said anything yet, and I’m already affecting her…

  “Good morning, Josh,” she said softly, letting his name fall slowly off her lips.

  What in the hell is she doing to me? he thought to himself.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he replied.

  Her smile grew, and she turned shyly from him.

  “What can I get you this morning?”

  Not caring who was behind him, he took her hand and moved her to the side of the counter away from everyone where he could just talk to her. Summer looked a little apprehensive until Melanie came out from the back, smiled and took the order of the next person in line.

  Josh leaned closer to her and said, “So, I have these tickets.”

  She looked at him confused and asked, “Okay, um, what kind of tickets?”

  “Baseball tickets. The Pirates are playing the Yankees this Sunday afternoon. And, well, since you seemed to have just discovered sports and a slight interest in baseball, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”

  Summer touched her chest with her hand.

  “You want to take me to a baseball game?”

  Josh had to laugh at her response and the excitement that crept on her lovely face.

  He nodded. “Yes, I want to take you to a baseball game. It’s me and a few of the guys from my work going. We’re going to tailgate for a few hours before the game. You know, talk some trash, drink a little, and have something to eat. And well, I really would love it if you’d come with me, be my date.”

  “Date?”

  “Yes, Sweets, a date,” he said, thoroughly amused then blinked a few times… Wait, what the hell did I just call her?

  A battle ensued within her, he could see it in her eyes, and he waited, hoping she would see he meant her no harm. He hoped she could feel how much he wanted nothing more than to spend time getting to know her.

  Finally she nodded first then said softly, “Okay.”

  It was Josh’s turn to be shocked.

  His eyebrows rose. “Okay?”

  Summer laughed. “Yes Josh, a baseball game with you sounds like fun.”

  He looked in her eyes. Yeah, I have to move this along quickly, he thought to himself. The desire to feel her lips on mine is starting to take over.

  “Great. I can pick you up, or you can meet me,” he added.

  No matter how much he wanted her, he still felt the need to put the ball in her court, just a little. Maybe if she felt like she had some control of things she would continue to open up to him.

  “I can meet you actually. It would be easier, especially since the subway stops right in front of Heinz Field. Just tell me when and where to meet you and I’ll be there.”

  “Sounds good.” Josh gave her the time they would be tailgating and when the game started, continuing to give her some control of the date. “I look forward to Sunday.”

  Josh backed up from her, heading for the front door and she frowned again. “Are you getting coffee or something?”

  Josh turned and said, “No, I got what I came in here for…”

  He winked and left the café. That was just that morning, and he was going out of his mind. Josh was brought back to the table when their waitress placed his bill in front of him.

  “So, how did your date go last night?” he heard Michael ask Aaron.

  He and his co–workers decided to head to the Eighth Street Grill on Eighth Street downtown and enjoyed their meal outside watching the traffic and hustle of the city. Aaron, Derek, and Michael worked with him in Compliance. Typically, the four of them would make it out for lunch at least once a week to talk sports and the last conquest of Aaron’s, but today was different. Paula happened to be in Josh’s office when the guys came in to remind him about lunch. Paula, being the leech that she was, he thought, invited herself and had been attached to Josh ever since they left the office.

  Michael was medium height with short–cropped, curly hair with skin dark as chocolate. He had brown eyes and kept his goatee lined and close to his face. Aaron was around the same height as Michael with brown hair that he kept cut trimmed above his ear and the nape of his neck while the top stayed long. He had light blue eyes and a build that kept him in the gym in order to keep up the interest of any woman he found. Aaron was one of the office’s ladies’ man.

  He played the Pittsburgh’s singles scene almost every night, and from his boyish good looks, he very rarely went home alone.

  Aaron smiled and wiped the salad dressing from the sides of his mouth with a napkin before he spoke.

  “Aw man, you know it was on the level. I took this girl home with me last night and whew…” He shook his head and grinned.

  Josh heard a groan, and he looked to see Paula roll her eyes. “Are you really going to talk about your pathetic sex life?” she complained.

  Derek frowned. “That’s what we do. We eat a huge lunch and listen to Aaron tell us about his pathetic sex life. You didn’t have to come you know.”

  Derek was slightly shorter than Josh, but built similar to him in muscle mass. Derek had black wavy hair and dark blue eyes. Derek didn’t have a problem getting women as well, but unlike Aaron, he wasn’t trying to make it a career.

  “Paula, I told you it wasn’t a good idea that you come, but you wanted to, so this is what you get,” Josh told her and then looked at Aaron.

  “Seriously, Aaron, I can’t understand how you can go out as much as you do and still manage to get to work,” Josh said.

  “It’s a skill, Jay, it’s a skill.” Michael grunted and Paula rolled her eyes. “Hey, you’re new in town. You’ve been working nonstop. Why don’t you come with us one night?”

  Paula looked frantically. “You don’t want to go out with these clowns do you? I mean, I can only imagine what type of women they meet.”

  Amused Josh shook his head. “I think I might actually.”

  Aaron leaned forward, “Man, I tell you, Jay, there are so many hot chicks dying for a man to fuck them senseless, it’s unreal.”

  “So I guess you leave them high and dry so there should be more for us then,” Michael said.

  “Ha–Ha, very funny. I tell you I’ve had no complaints where the bedroom is concerned. Just ask Lynette from Marketing.” The shocked looks from Derek, Michael and even Paula had Josh wanting to ask about Lynette, but he didn’t and Aaron added, “Anyway, Jay, you’ll have a great time with us, trust me. You’ll be able to just take your pick.”

  Paula stabbed at her salad while Josh stifled a laugh. Aaron and Michael started to talk more about the different women they have met and what Josh could expect the girls to be like around town. They ended up making plans for this Saturday night, and Aaron told him he’d text him where to be on Saturday.

  Josh felt his phone vibrate on his hip, and it was a call he’d been waiting to receive.

  He excused himself from the table and replied into the phone, “It’s about fucking time. I left you a message, hours ago.”

  “Yeah, I know, I couldn’t get away… I can now, which is why I’m calling you. What’s up?” the caller replied.

  “I need you to look into someone for me,” Josh responded and looked at Paula.

  “Al
l right. Shoot,” the caller said, and as Josh turned his back from Paula he explained exactly what he needed.

  Paula watched the men talk animatedly about hanging out, and just as she was about to say something else, an idea popped in her head and she smiled. She looked at Josh. There was no way she was going to let any skank bitch take what’s hers. You’re mine, Joshua Cooper. You’re mine.

  Chapter 4

  Kenya

  Friday night I sat in front of my television not really looking at the baseball game. Actually, it was watching me. I was sipping on my third shot of tequila, trying to relax my nerves. Today was rough for me all around. I had a nightmare in the middle of the day, something that never happens to me, when I took a nap before my shift at Finn’s. Therefore, when I got to work, I was on edge. It seemed every time I turned around, I felt unsafe. I was so paranoid and nervous that Milo sent me packing early.

  Since I’ve been home, I’ve been sitting here trying to understand what’s going on with me, and I’ve come to one conclusion: Josh. I threw my head back, accepting the brown liquid, and letting the burn hit my esophagus and poured more. It seemed that lying to myself had become a thing. I sought to convince myself that I was bad news for Josh.

  I knew for a fact I couldn’t forget about him though, and there lies my problem. I couldn’t put a finger on it, but there was something about him that brought my thoughts to him every second of every day. It was weird, and maybe I needed my head examined, but I wanted to find out what was drawing me to him… if only I could bury the fear.

  Ever since our breakfast date on Saturday I’ve seen him. He stopped by Sara’s to get coffee after his run, and I even sat with him for a little while and talked to him. Every time I saw his face I couldn’t help but light up, and that was freaking me out.

  I was so messed up. My life was in disarray and unstable. I was constantly freaking out, wondering if this will be the day my past catches up with me. My life wasn’t safe, and I had no right bringing anyone into my messed up world. I shouldn’t have gotten close to the people I’d met already, I know, but I couldn’t help it… with Josh though, I can.