The Adventures of Joel Pepper

by Margaret Sidney

  IV

  THE MUFFIN MAN AND THE TRAMP

  So when the time came that was to bring Mamsie home that night,tired, but happy to fold her baby to her heart, for Phronsiealways climbed into her lap to untie her bonnet-strings, therewas David, running around brisk as a bee, his cheeks pink as arose, and Joel, who had stuck to the old box of nails all day,despite Polly's pleadings to stop and rest, gave a shout thatthe last was done, and stretched his tired legs. Then he gave ahop and skip and jump around and around the grass before thelittle brown house.

  "Whickets! that feels good!" he cried, stopping for a longbreath by the old green door; then away again, kicking up hisheels like a colt.

  "He's done 'em almost every one," said Davie, mournfully,standing on the doorstone to see him go; "he wouldn't let mehelp only a teenty bit, and he's so tired, Polly."

  "Joel wanted to do 'em, Davie dear," said Polly, coming to thedoor, on hearing that, and giving him a loving little pat. "Iknow all about it, why he wanted to do it"--for Joel had toldher the whole story--"and Mamsie'll be glad he did it. How Iwish she'd come!" peering down the dusty road.

  "How I wish she'd come!" echoed Phronsie, poking her head inbetween Polly's gown and the door jamb.

  "Dear me," cried Polly, whirling around, "are you there, Pet?Well, Mamsie's coming pretty soon. I think I see--No, 'tisn't,"as David started to scamper over the stepping-stones--"it's aman turning the road. Anyway, she'll be here before we hardlyknow it, I guess. Now let's play something, and that'll make thetime go faster."

  "Oh, hooray!" cried little Davie, and, "Hooray!" piped Phronsie."_Joel--Joel!_" screamed David; and Phronsie clapped her hands andscreamed too, and Polly laughed and called as hard as she could, forJoel, imagining himself a gay trotting horse, was slapping his legswith a switch, and careering around the back of the little brownhouse in a great state of excitement. Now hearing the calls, hecame whooping around, making all the noise he possibly could,so there was a perfectly dreadful din, and no wonder that theman Polly had seen turning the road came nearer without anyone noticing him.

  He thought it was so convenient for him that all the children inthe house should be out in the front yard, that perhaps he hadbetter hop over the stone wall and go quietly in at the backdoor; for really he was very hungry, and there must be as muchas a piece of bread, although the little brown house didn't lookas if it held much meat and pie and cake. So over the wall hewent, and slunk in through the tall grass, just as Polly wasmarshalling her forces on the greensward in front and saying,"Now, children, what shall we play?"

  "Tag--tag!" screamed Joel, crowding up in front. "Now begin,Polly, do, and let me be it."

  "I'd rather have the Muffin Man," said Davie, wistfully.

  "Muffin--Man--Muffin--Man," echoed Phronsie, beating her smallhands. "Oh, Polly, please do let us have the Muffin Man," shecried, her yellow hair flying over her flushed face as shehopped up and down. "Please, Polly!"

  "Pshaw!" Joel exclaimed, contemptuously, "that old Muffin Man,he's no fun. I say 'Tag.' Do begin, Polly," he pulled her sleeveimpatiently.

  "The Muffin Man is so very nice," said Davie, reflectively, "andwe haven't played it in so long."

  "That old--" began Joel, crossly. Then he caught Polly's eye."All right, Dave," he cried. "Go on, Polly. And let Dave be theMuffin Man, do, Polly."

  Polly shot him a beaming glance. "Now that's nice," and she tookPhronsie's hand, who was so overcome with delight she could notstand still, but was engaged in making a cheese, and tumblingover in a heap on the grass. "Come on, Pet," and Polly pulledher up, "don't you see the Muffin Man is waiting for us?" forthere was David standing off at the end of the grass-plot, asstiff as a stick, and most dignified, all ready to receive hisvisitors.

  It was after the merry line was dancing back into place thatJoel happened to glance up at the window of the kitchen. And asquick as a shot he dropped Polly's hand and skipped off on thetips of his toes over the grass and around the back of the house.

  "Dear me!" cried Polly, "whatever can have happened to Joel?"

  "Do come on, Polly," begged Phronsie, pulling at her other hand,and lifting her flushed face pleadingly, "and let us see theMuffin Man once more."

  "So we will, dear," said Polly. "Now then!" So they danced offgayly. "We all know the Muffin Man--the Muffin Man--the MuffinMan. We all know the Muffin Man, that lives in Crumpet Lane."

  Meantime, Joel rushed in over the back doorstep and into thekitchen before the man he had seen through the kitchen windowcould hear him and turn away from the old cupboard. When he did,he said something that wouldn't have sounded nice had Joelstopped to hear it. As it was, he bounded in. "What are youdoing in our house?" he cried, doubling up his fists. "Hey?"said the man. He wasn't very nice to look at either, and hepeered over and around Joel's sturdy figure, to see if more ofthe children were coming after. When he saw that Joel was alone,and could hear the gay voices out on the grass-plot, he lookedperfectly wicked, and he laughed as he pointed a long and dirtyhand at him.

  "You scream, or stir from your tracks, and I'll make mincemeatof you!" he hissed.

  "I ain't a-goin' to scream," declared Joel, scornfully, "an' I'mgoin' to drive you out of our house." With that he dashed at theman with both small brown fists well doubled up, pommellingright and left, and butting his stubby black head into thestranger's waistcoat. And the next minute he was caught in thelong hands and tossed with a thump to the old kitchen floor, andthe wicked eyes were over him as he lay there panting.

  "What did I tell you!" cried the man. "Now I'm going to makemincemeat of you."

  "We all know the Muffin Man that lives in Crumpet Lane," sangPolly and Phronsie merrily, out on the grass-plot, as theydanced away.

  "Where _is_ Joel?" cried Polly, as they stopped to takebreath.

  "Just once more," begged Phronsie, pulling her hand; "please,Polly." So down to see the Muffin Man again they danced.

  Meantime, Joel was tied up tight and fast with the clothes-lineto the table leg, and in order that he should not use his tongue,Seraphina's clothes, where Phronsie had thrown her on thefloor, were torn off and crammed into his mouth.

  "Now I guess you'll keep still," said the man, turning back tothe cupboard with a grin; "and as long as those youngsters areat their noise out there, I'm safe enough," and he pulled outPolly's bread she had just baked that day, done up in a cleanold towel.

  "Humph!" as he thrust his tousled head into the cupboard, andsearched for butter, and ran his dirty hands all over the clean,bare shelves--"well, this will keep me from starving." So herolled the towel as tightly as he could over the bread, andslouched off, shaking his fist at Joel with a parting scowl.

  "Now, Phronsie, I can't play another single time," said Polly."I must see where Joel is." So she dropped the fat little handand raced off, the other children after her.

  "Joel--Joel--" they all cried, and just then Mamsie was comingdown the road--oh! so tired, as she had had to stay later thanusual, for the Conference was to meet at the minister's housenext day, and besides the study carpet to be put down, therewere ever and ever so many things to be done. But she had anextra quarter of a dollar in her pocket, and Polly was to run overafter the Conference dinner and get a basket of the eatables."If they leave any," Miss Jerusha, the minister's sister, had saidgrimly, "which isn't very likely. I've heard 'em preach often enoughof starved souls. La! 'tisn't a circumstance to the starved bodiesthey bring along to Conference." So Mrs. Pepper was turning inat the dooryard of the little brown house in a happy frame of mind,when she heard a babel of voices, and Phronsie's little shrill voiceabove them all.

  "Goodness me, the house must be afire!" she exclaimed, hurryingover the grass and in at the door. There was Joel, tied hand andfoot, his black eyes blazing, while he was talking as fast as hecould rattle, and Polly was untying the clothes-line, littleDavie getting in the way, with trembling fingers, while Phronsiestood still and screamed.

  "He's got all our bread!" shouted Joel. "Oh, Mamsie!" Phronsieturned
and saw Mrs. Pepper, and ran to her with outstretchedarms.

  "Whatever in all this world," exclaimed Mother Pepper, graspingher baby tightly. "There--there--Phronsie, don't cry, Mammy'shere."

  "Oh, Mamsie--Mamsie!" mourned Polly, tugging at the knots in theclothes-line. Davie scuttled over to Mother Pepper and tried toget within her arms, too.

  "Our bread!" screamed Joel, in a rage, and kicking at the knots."Let me up! I'm going after him. He's got it all out of thecupboard, I tell you!"

  "Joel," said Mrs. Pepper, kneeling down by him, with Phronsie byher side, and putting both arms around his struggling figure,"Mother doesn't care about the bread; she's got you safe."

  Joel snuggled up close to her. "I couldn't help his gettin' it,"he sniffled, "Mamsie, I couldn't." Then he broke out into a loudsob.

  "Mother knows you couldn't," said Mrs. Pepper, and she shiveredas she thought of what might have been. "You're my brave boy.But you mustn't go after him, nor out of the house."

  "Oh, Mammy!" exclaimed Joel, lifting up his head, his tears allgone. "I can catch him." He gave an impatient pull at the knots.

  "Take care, Joe," cried Polly, "you're pulling 'em tighter. Oh,Mammy, let us all go after him," she begged with flashing eyes."We can catch the bad wicked man."

  "No," said Mrs. Pepper, firmly, "not a single one of you muststir out of this house unless I tell you. And as for bread, why,we can do without it so long as Joel is safe."

  "Phooh!" said Joel, "he didn't hurt me any," just as Polly gotthe last knot out that tied his arms. Then he set to work tohelp her get his legs free. And in a trice he jumped to his feetand ran to the window.

  "Oh, Mamsie," he teased, craning his neck to look up and downthe road, "do let me go. I can get some sticks in the woodshed,and I guess I can scare him then."

  "All of us," pleaded Polly, hurrying to Mrs. Pepper; "just think,Mamsie, with big sticks. Do let us."

  But Mother Pepper shook her head. "We'll all go over to GrandmaBascom's and see if he went there. Then Ben'll be home, and hecan run over and tell Deacon Brown. He'll know how to catch thethief."

  "I'm goin' with Ben," announced Joel, decidedly, and coming intothe middle of the kitchen with a bound. "He's my thief. An' I'mgoin' with Mr. Brown to catch him. So there!"

  Mrs. Pepper shivered again, but smiled at Phronsie, who clutchedher tightly with her little arms around the neck. "Well, Ideclare!" she said with a cheery laugh, "aren't you going tountie Mother's bonnet-strings, Baby?"

  "Yes, Phronsie," said Polly, with another little laugh, "so youought to. I declare, we're all so excited we don't know what todo. I'm going to make your tea, Mamsie," and she spun off to theold stove.

  Mrs. Pepper smiled at her approvingly. "I won't wait for thatnow; we ought to get over and see how Grandma Bascom is. I don'tbelieve he went there, but we'll see."

  "I forgot all about her," said Polly, in a shamefaced way. "I'llrun down the lane and see. You don't need to come, Mamsie. Wethree will go."

  "I'm goin'. I'm goin'," screamed Joel, rushing for the door.

  "Joel," called his mother, "come here." Joel slowly retracedhis steps.

  "Remember one thing. You stay with Polly, and do just as shesays. And now, children, hurry along. And if you see the man,you call me." And Mrs. Pepper went to the door, and, withPhronsie in her arms, watched them scramble down the lane, andup to Grandma's little cottage.

  But Grandma Bascom hadn't seen anybody pass that way, and wasn'ta bit afraid. There she sat, drinking her bowl of tea out underthe lilac bushes.

  "Run in an' get some pep'mint drops out o' the cupboard," shesaid sociably, "they're in the big green dish. Be careful of it,for it's cracked."

  "We can't," said Polly, "Mamsie wants us to come right home."

  Joel's mouth watered. "'Twon't take but a minute, Polly," hesaid.

  "No, Joe, we mustn't," said Polly, firmly. "Good-by, Grandma.Now, let's run, boys, as fast as we can, home to Mamsie, and seewhich will get there first."