Guard My Heart

by AJ Summer

  “If the clock strikes twelve, you’re stuck with the frown forever. And you are wrinkling your face” Livvy says from my side.

  I smooth my face immediately and smile at her.

  “Whatever this game is you guys are playing, give it up. This shit is childish. You don't want Lewis, and Jase doesn't want her,” she says looking at me sternly.

  “I don't know what you mean,” I lie again. I'm becoming a damn good liar. I look back over to Jase, and pixie girl has her shirt up and her jeans unbuttoned. If lust had a look, the damn cow is oozing it right now. Jase isn't helping it either. He just keeps grinning at her as he traces the spot where her tattoo is to be done. Pixie bitch moans as he runs his finger around her navel, and her eyes flutter close. My eyes snap up when the bell jingles announcing a new arrival. James and Lewis stride in, but Lewis pauses at the station where Jase and his client are getting dangerously close to public indecency. He looks at Jase then scowls before flipping it into a dazzling smile when he looks at me. My stomach drops. This isn't good. That look, that is the look that combusts panties. Just not mine ’cause even with Lewis stalking towards me, I only have eyes for my lost bad boy. A boy who is touching someone else while you are in the same room and doesn't give a shit, Dark spits in my mind.

  “Hi Mia, what's up with that?” Lewis asks while snaking his arms around me.

  I shrug my shoulders and look up to Lewis. His eyes are dark and blue and smoldering hot. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and exhales lightly over my mouth. Don't kiss him, Mia, Sanity pleads. He won't kiss me! I yell back to my subconscious, but then I feel his breath on my mouth, and I actually part my lips and my eyes flutter closed.

  A hard hand lands on my shoulder and spins me around.

  “Don't!” Jase yells in my face. I’ve had it with this asshole!

  “Don't what, Jase? Kiss someone who wants to kiss me? Why? You've been stare-fucking pixie over there for the last half hour. And you said I should stay away from you!” I shout at him. I'm breathing hard and loud, and I want to punch him. Lewis claps his hands together once, then winks at me and walks away.

  “Stare-fucking?” Jase laughs harshly before going back to his client and leaving me angry and confused. I grab my bag and run out of the parlor. Screw Jase and his issues! As I'm stomping home, Lewis pulls up next to me in the rinky-dink truck.

  “Hey little lady, need a ride?” he teases through the window.

  Despite my sour mood, a smile creeps on my face. I shake my head in his direction and continue walking.

  “Let me give you a ride. It’s not safe walking alone in the dark,” he calls through the window.

  The smirk on his face tells me he is probably the most dangerous creature out here right now. Sanity is screaming no, letting me know just how much she disapproves, but right now, I'm more inclined to listen to Dark but she's surprisingly quiet. I open the door and hop into the passenger side. As soon as my ass hits the seat, I chicken out. I should’ve just walked, but then Lewis knocks the breath out of me.

  “Jase likes you, Mia. He has a fucked up way of showing it, but he does,” Lewis says.

  “Huh.” Yup, I'm back to malfunction again. Lewis smiles brightly, flashing rows of white teeth and some slightly crooked bottom ones that just add to his darn cuteness.

  “He has been burnt a lot, and I think you throw him off balance. I would punch him, but I think that wouldn't mean much to him. Seeing him squirm when he thinks I'm going to snatch you away is much more fun,” Lewis says, laughing at himself.

  There's a twinkle in his eye that makes me believe him. He cares for Jase, and it warms my heart knowing he has someone looking out for him. I ask the question plaguing my mind.

  “So you don't want to sleep with me?” I ask, blushing at my own forwardness.

  Lewis laughs deep and throaty before the chuckles die suddenly.

  “Trust me, Mia, the last thing I want to do with you is sleep. But Jase deserves this,” he says seriously.

  I stare at him stunned. He just admitted he wants to have sex with me but he won't because his cousin likes me. I realize I'm fine with that. Lewis doesn't give me the butterflies-doing-kung-fu-in-my-belly feeling. Jase does, but he also gives me the orangutan-playing-bongos-in-my-head feeling. That damn man is just confusing. As if Lewis reads my mind, he plants his hand on my thigh and squeezes.

  “He'll come around, just hang in there.”

  Lewis drops me off in front of my house, and when I get to the front door, I turn and look at him. He just sits there smiling at me. How did I get such awesome friends all of a sudden?

  DAY SEVEN

  Candy sticks and pink piggy wigs,

  Life playing silly mind tricks.

  You said we could be friends,

  This is where my life ends.

  Lollipops and purple cuddly socks,

  To you I give my heart in a box.

  Wrapped in silver, wrapped in gold,

  In your hand it will never grow old.

  I have one last test standing between me and freedom. Jase still isn’t talking to me, and I can’t study for shit after Lewis told me Jase likes me. Today I'm writing my English literature exam, and Jase is sitting on my left, finding his empty desk way too interesting. Stuff it, if he is too proud to do it, I will. Lewis did say he likes me, and he knows Jase better than I do.

  “Good luck, Jase,” I whisper, leaning to his side. His eyes meet mine briefly. Then a small smile tugs at his lips.

  “Good luck, Mia. I hope DS makes you proud,” he says. I blink, surprised that he knows the name of my twisted and self-righteous conscious, but then I remember myself, and I smile back just as Miss Hatwick sets my paper down.

  The test is simple and straight forward, and it takes me an hour and fifteen minutes to finish. When I get up to hand in my paper, Jase is still bent over his. I smile at Miss Hatwick as she takes my paper, and then I make my way outside. I'm done for the day, and I can't decide if I want to go to the parlor or sit outside for a while. I know part of the reason I'm so indecisive is sitting inside finishing his test. I decide to sit down against the big tree in front of the old grey building. I pop my earphones in and play my favorite song.

  That's how Jase finds me. My head leaned back against the trunk, soaking up the sun and listening to music. He kicks lightly against my shoe, and I look up at him. I knew it was him before I even saw him. The wind announced his arrival as soon as he was close enough. I could point Jase out even if I was blindfolded. Peppermint, cigarette smoke, and bad boy.

  “So I was thinking…” he says while sitting down next to me.

  “Is that a good thing right now? Haven't you done enough thinking the last two hours?” I ask jokingly.

  “Yeah, smart ass, it is. I'm using my last two brain cells trying to have this conversation with you.” He nudges me lightly in the ribs and I giggle.

  “Anyway, I think we should be friends.”

  One sentence that changes my life forever…

  GUARD MY HEART

  MIA

  They say love changes your life.

  It wraps you up in its sweet embrace and the world can no longer hurt you.

  I’m twenty-four years old, and I’ve never lived a day in my life until I met Jase.

  He takes my hurt, he takes my hate, and he turns it into this beautiful bubble where only happiness exists.

  We aren’t perfect, but we make it work.

  Yeah this living life thing is pretty potent.

  And it’s all because of him.

  ***

  The wild jingle of the bell at the front door snaps me out of my head. I lose my breath the instant my eyes meet the green ones twinkling back at me. His smile stretches wide, and his black boots eat up the floor to get to me. Jeez, I've missed him. Jase grabs me and squeezes me tight.

  “Hey Mew-Mew, I've missed you, baby,” he breathes, nuzzling my neck.

  “I've missed you too,” I manage between my sniffles. Two months without
Jase in my life and I've gone near insane. But now he is finally back home. My client clears his throat, but I don’t let Jase go. I smile at the young guy lying on my table.

  “I’ll be with you in a second,” I say, almost rudely.

  Alec and Livvy come back from the kitchen holding the four cups of coffee they left to make before Jase arrived.

  “Jase! Welcome back you sexy beast!” Livvy screeches, spilling coffee all over the white tile floor.

  “Thanks, Liv, and thanks for looking after Mew-Mew since I’ve been gone. I was sure I’d get back to skin and bones, but she looks well fed,” Jase says with a sexy smirk while his eyes roam over my body. I punch him playfully on his shoulder then place my hands on my hips.

  “Are you saying I’m fat?” I try to glare at him, but I’m just too damn happy to have him back. Two months I was stuck without him, constantly running our first week through my head and thinking of how we met.

  “I would never call you fat, Mew; you are perfect,” he says, placing a soft kiss on my head. I step away from him and sit down to finish my client while he walks over to Alec and Liv. If I had known he was coming home today, I definitely would not have booked six clients for tonight. I won’t be done before midnight. That thought makes me anxious, and I bite down hard on my teeth to get my client done.

  “How old are you?” my client asks me. I blink and stare back at him for a second. Weird question to ask someone you don’t know. “I’m twenty-four. Why?” I answer and question at the same time.

  “You look younger than you did just a few minutes ago. The whole time I’ve been lying here I thought you must be close to thirty with that frown on your face. But as soon as that guy came in, your face changed. Then I thought you might be eighteen.” He chuckles but then squeezes his eyes closed tightly. The shaking of his body interferes with the piercing needle of the gun. I smile back at him. My reply to that is easy.

  “He is my life; without him, I might as well be an old lady,” I say.

  The guy is silent after that. I’ve got four clients left after him, so Jase and I split them. The other two guys are old clients of Jase’s, so they are more than happy to go with him.

  Lewis and James arrive as I finish up with my last client, and for a moment I panic. It can easily turn into a late night. Lewis plants a kiss on my cheek as he passes my station and sits down on Jase’s table.

  “So you came to take back my girl?” Lewis taunts Jase.

  Six years later and nothing has changed. Jase looks at me then smiles at Lewis.

  “My girl, always and forever,” he says.

  Lewis laughs then claps Jase on the shoulder.

  “Good to have you back, man. Everything good with your grandma?” Lewis asks.

  Jase pinches the bridge of his nose and nods. “Yeah, she’s finally settled. And the old bird is as stubborn as a birch. For two months I tried to convince her to move here with us, but she wouldn’t budge. Now she’s in an old age home. It killed her leaving that house, but she wouldn’t admit it. Old lady is staying strong ’til the end,” he says, his words thick with concern.

  I walk over to Jase and sit down in his lap. It breaks my heart that I couldn’t go down for his grandfather’s funeral, but Alec just wouldn’t manage with the both of us gone. I only met his grandparents once. Sweet old people. Good people. I bury my nose in his neck and inhale loudly. He smells delicious. He chuckles and rubs his palm over my back.

  “Home time,” Jase says while lifting me and placing me on my feet.

  I hurry to clear my station, while Jase grabs my jacket and bag.

  We say goodbye to everybody and walk hand in hand to the shiny black truck parked in front of the shop. The boys have come a long way since college. The garage they work for is known for the best and fastest service in town. Uncle Ray couldn’t ask for more dedicated workers. His son and his nephews pride themselves in their work and deliver only the best. The extra work Jase does at the parlor has brought more feet in for Alec, and now that I can do tattoos myself, the parlor has been busier than ever. But I’m glad Jase is back, because the last two months have been hell. Even doing what I love most, tattoos, second to Jase of course, could not keep my heart from breaking every time I thought of him and the distance between us.

  Jase starts the truck and turns his head toward me. “Let’s go home, Mew,” he says, placing his hand on my thigh and giving it a squeeze.

  I smile even though it feels watery and my lips quiver on my face. “Yeah, take me home.”

  JASE

  I watch Mia sleeping with the moonlight shining in her hair. I might sound like a sap, but with this woman by my side, I don’t care. If I get her for everyday of the rest of my life, I could fucking sprout daisies from my ass. And I still wouldn’t give a shit! I think back to the night I told her to stay away from me. Thank fuck she didn’t listen. We were sitting on her front porch on her birthday, and I spilled my guts to her. My whole bloody, messy story. About how my parents didn’t want me. How my dad beat my mom to shit. And afterwards she just sat there and stared at me with tears rolling down her face. After that, I couldn’t look at her straight. I was scared of what I would see. Hate? Disgust? But she knocked the wind straight out of me in exams. I don’t even remember what the damn test was, but I remember the look in her eyes when she wished me luck. It wasn’t shame, it wasn’t pity, and it wasn’t hate. It was hope. Hope for me. Hope for us.

  On our first date, I took Mia to a lake. I thought we could go swimming. She agreed but told me she doesn’t swim anywhere where she can’t see the bottom. She was terrified of the water. I asked her if she trusted me, and she answered straight away. Yes. There wasn’t time for us to play games with our hearts. It was either give it all or nothing. Both Mia and I knew how life can fuck you over in a heartbeat. She lost her dad to a heart attack, and soon after that her brother died in an accident. The second I saw Mia standing around that corner with those broken-ass jeans, I knew I was fucked. Gone—my heart leapt straight out of my beaten rib cage and into hers.

  Anyway, I’m losing my story here. So we’re on a date and I want to go for a swim, but my lovely lady is scared of the water. I blindfolded her with an old tie I found in the truck and told her to wrap her legs around me. I walked us straight into that lake. Her thighs clamped down around me like a vice grip, but I kept walking until we were waist deep. Mia was breathing deeply into my neck. I had to beat down my dick repeatedly. Reminding myself that that wasn’t what I was there for. When I tried to remove the blindfold, she nuzzled deeper into my neck and started talking.

  “Kyle was my twin, my older brother by a few seconds. My best friend and my partner in crime. I’ve always been kind of a tomboy. I would ride bikes with the guys, play sports the other girls were afraid of. Kyle was so awesome. But I don’t think he would’ve liked you.” I scoffed at that. Sure that I would’ve won the protective brother over. I gave her a little nudge to continue with her story.

  “Our last year of high school, the teachers decided to have a summer vacation tour for the grade twelves. Kyle knew I wanted to go, but money was tight, and Mom couldn’t afford it with her cashier job, and we would never ask our stepdad to give it to us. So Kyle comes up with a plan. My dad had all these old motorcycles in the garage back home. Even though Mom told us a long time ago to get rid of them, Kyle kept them, saying one day he would fix them up. I guess he gave up on his idea of fixing them, because we both needed a break from the house. He sold all those parts and got enough money to pay for our trip. He even bought me a bikini and left some money for Mom.

  It started off as the best vacation ever. Friends, sun, and no bullshit from him. The guys were climbing the rocks and jumping off. I wanted to try, but I was too much of a chicken to try it alone, so Kyle held my hand and we jumped off the lower rocks. The guys kept climbing higher and higher. I suppose Kyle wanted to try it too. I can still remember his face smiling down at me before he took that jump. I knew it was too high. But Kyle always ca
me out on top. He succeeded in everything he did. I told him to jump. He jumped because I cheered for him. After he hit the water, we all waited in the water for him to come up. When nothing happened, everybody started screaming his name. I froze, I couldn’t move. I knew he was gone. I could feel it. The police say the pool let out through several underground caves. The current could have taken his body down any one of those caves. The search was called off. Cause of death—drowning. They never found his body. Only his shoe, a damn sneaker, was all they brought back”

  Mia’s body trembled in my arms. I held her tighter, wishing I could take away all her pain. We were messed up that way. Both bloodied by a world full of wrong.

  Now I stroke the hair out of her eyes and kiss her cheek. She stirs and wraps her legs around mine. I wonder if she knows she just sighed.

  MIA

  “Hello?” I say sleepily into my phone.

  Mom’s voice sounds loud over the phone, and I pull the phone away from my ear. I laugh at her excitement. “Yes, Mom, Jase came home yesterday.”

  I nod my head before my sleeping brain realizes she can’t see me.

  “Yes, we’ll come down to visit you. How’s Aunt Kim?” I say in between yawns.

  “Uh-huh,” I snort as I stretch. Mom has been staying with her sister since I moved in with Jase. She’s sounds happier than ever.

  “Okay Mom, see you soon.”

  I must’ve dozed off sometime on the way home last night because my ringing phone woke me up to a sunny Saturday morning and an empty bed. I stretch and grab Jase’s pillow. I bury my nose in the fluffy down and inhale deeply. Thank goodness last night was not a dream. I can smell Jase, it’s fresh and new. He slept next to me last night. I could kick myself for not spending the night holding him. I slip my feet into my slippers and pull on my pajama bottoms. Apparently my man undressed me last night. That thought makes me giddy to find him and tangle my fingers in that black mass of hair of his. I walk down the stairs, and the sound of my friends laughing reach my ears. I find them all sitting around the kitchen table drinking coffee. Jase opens his arms for me, and I slide onto his lap.