It´s All for You

by Tici Pontes

  All the events that had happened till now had taken me there.

  To that moment.

  I had to do that. I had to succeed.

  For him.

  As soon as I set foot in the hospital, the memories came to light and emotion took over every cell in my body. I was really going to make that donation.

  My heart was racing, my hands were sweating and a squeeze formed in the middle of my chest, but no, it wasn't fear that I felt, because I knew it would be a painless procedure.

  It was something more... profound.

  It was...

  The feelings were so conflicted that I couldn't put them into words. I think only people who go through a similar situation know what I'm talking about.

  All I know is that the image of his face wouldn't leave my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

  All my thoughts were interrupted when they entered the room where I was. My mother held my hand tight and whispered in my ear:

  “I'm proud of you.”

  With my face still swollen and my eyes reddened from the tears, I let myself go.

  I would make my first bone marrow donation.

  Everything would be done inside the surgical center, I would be anesthetized and in less than two hours my marrow would have been removed, ready for donation.

  And so, I went.

  A single thought in my mind as I walked the white, lit corridors.

  It was because of you.

  It was for you.

  It's all for you.

  For a long time I was reluctant to meet the receiver of my marrow, but after all these years and the receiver's insistence on meeting me I decided I would finally meet him.

  It is difficult to get used to a new routine, but we end up adapting to everything that is imposed on us. The resilience of the human being is incredible.

  When I left Fortaleza for Mar de Areia I thought I would never be happy again living in another city.

  When I arrived in Mar de Areia and met Leonardo I thought I would never learn to live without his company.

  But I had to learn.

  The longing I felt for him was the same as when he left. It had not diminished. It hadn't gone away. However, I had learned to live with it. Leonardo had become a precious memory, which I held in my heart under seven keys.

  From him I had learned so much in so little time.

  I learned to value every minute.

  Every second.

  Every moment.

  I learned not to care so much about appearance or status. I put the virtual aside a bit and decided to live the real life. No flashes, no likes, no thousands of comments.

  A walk to see the sunset, accompany my brother and his little friends while they were skating on the seaside, watching the couples in love side by side, looking at the waves of the sea.

  Yes.

  I had come back to live in Fortaleza.

  When the result of the ENEM test came out I got the cut grade to study at the Federal University of Ceará, in the Languages/Portuguese class. As Dad had promised, I moved to my aunt's house and alternated my days between studies and, in moments of rest, I always returned to Mar de Areia, which had also become my home.

  And after four years of study I had graduated. And now I was doing a specialization in Text Proofreading, as I had started working as a book proofreader for a national publishing house.

  And now, five years after Leo's death, I was beginning to make my way, go in search of my dreams, enjoy every moment and opportunity that life brought me.

  ‘What matters is not the amount of time we spend together, that we live, that we exist. What matters is the intensity that we do each of our activities with.’

  Leo's words, moments before his death, were still engraved in my mind, like a tattoo. And I would carry them with me forever.

  His teachings still dictated how I lived my life. How I took advantage of the opportunities that came my way. How I valued every breath.

  That was priceless.

  And it was time to meet the man Leo saved.

  Yes.

  Although my marrow was responsible for saving a life, the truth was that Leonardo was responsible for making it happen. The credit was his. His alone.

  I had found out that the receiver of my marrow lived right here in Fortaleza and mom had arranged the meeting at Iracema Beach, one of the most visited tourist spots in the city.

  We parked the car in one of the side streets and I crossed the street towards the sidewalk. The sea breeze was light and the salty air invaded my nostrils. The smell of the sea could be felt and the sound of the waves calmed me down.

  As we approached the benches on the sidewalk, my mother pointed to a boy sitting with a book in his hand.

  Even with my head down I could tell he was young, he must be about my age. His hair was light brown and shone under the sun of Fortaleza, his hair swung with the wind, giving him a messy look. The boy wore a jeans shorts, a light pink shirt and a white sneaker.

  “Is that him?” I asked and Mama nodded yes. “How do you know?”

  “You may have agreed to talk to him just now, Alice. But it's been a while since Marcelo and I' were talking. Come on, I'll introduce you both.”

  “No need, Mama. I know what to say.”

  A smile came over my lips when I remembered that meeting in the library and the pale boy who so charmingly interrupted my reading.

  “You know, every reader should know that when you read a book in public the basic rule is to leave the cover exposed so that others can know what you are reading.”

  Marcelo raised his eyes and I realized when he recognized me.

  Obviously my mother should have shown him pictures of me.

  He had blue eyes that glowed when he realized I was there. A smile appeared on his face and the beautiful blue eyes sparkled a little more.

  Marcelo looked at me with admiration in his eyes. He didn't have to say a word to let me know how grateful he was for my gesture. For my donation.

  Yeah...

  I think, in fact, I'd really become someone's world.

  I gave back that smile and sat down next to him.

  We had a lot to talk about, and we certainly had a lot to learn from each other.

  It's so much to be thankful for, and I'm sure, once again, I won't be able to escape the cliché.

  To my parents for believing in my gift of writing and for giving me the gift of life.

  To Miah, my proofreader, friend, sister, always listening to my ideas, witnessing the birth of the book and stoning another work with her proofreading, thank you for always being there for me.

  To Lídia Rayanne, writer, friend, and now my proofreader and captain, I laugh at her comments and learn from her observations. And the cover? Ah, what can i say about the cover? I'm still in love with this wonderful illustration and this creative mind that managed to take the essence of the book and deposit it on the cover.

  Liu, your conversations have been great and I've learned a lot from your observations on the story. It was a great pleasure to have you as the proofreader for my book.

  And Bruna, my reader from the very beginning. Thank you for all the support and affection you have for me and my books. You are very special to me.

  Dr. Hilário Barreto, doctor and co-worker, thank you so much for your help in building this book.

  To my friends Clara and Nathany, you will always be in my thanks, because you are always willing to listen and to support me whenever I need you. Bel, without you this story would not have happened. You were the kick start for this story to come to life. I'll never forget everything you've done for me.

  And last but not least, I dedicate this book to all the people who are in the transplant waiting line for a marrow. Be strong! Maybe your donor will be one of the readers of this book who, after enjoying this story, will become aware and make the REDOME, joining the list of marrow donors.

  The National Registry of Voluntary Bone Marrow Donors (REDOME) was created
in 1993 in São Paulo to gather information from people willing to donate bone marrow to those in need of transplantation. Since 1998, it has been coordinated by the José Alencar Gomes da Silva National Cancer Institute (INCA) in Rio de Janeiro.

  With more than 4,000 million registered donors, REDOME is the third largest bone marrow donor bank in the world and belongs to the Ministry of Health, being the largest bank with exclusively public funding. More than 300,000 new donors are included in REDOME's registry every year. The American registry has almost 7.9 million and the German registry about 6.2 million. Both have been developed and are maintained with primarily private resources.

  The Bone Marrow transplant Center (CEMO/INCA) is responsible for technical coordination and the Cancer Foundation for REDOME's operation, as published in ordinance no. 2,600 on october 21, 2009, by the Ministry of Health.

  Become a bone marrow donor!

  Find a blood center in your state and schedule an appointment for an explanation or lecture on bone marrow donation.

  For more information visit the website: http://redome.inca.gov.br/

  Brazilian, born in 1985.

  Nurse and avid reader. Since she was a little girl she always had a taste for reading, having Pedro Bandeira as one of the first authors with whom she had contact.

  Passionate about her profession, she never thought that one day she would reach the point of writing a book. Until then, she was content only to be an observer of this incredible world of literature.

  In 2017 she launched her first work, Dante.

  Social Media

  IG: @ticipontesofc

  Email: ticipnts@gmail.com

  Facebook: Ticiana Pontes

  * * *

  [1] In Portuguese this expression. means a horse kick or someone being rude with another person

  [2] In Brazil, the citizens of Ceará are known to have big heads.