Good Enough to Share (Good Enough, Book 1 - Christmas)

by Zara Stoneley

  “Hi, there.” Darren the agent was waiting for us, jiggling from foot to foot which meant he was cold or more likely he was in a rush to get rid of his only viewing of the day and get to the pub so he could start the holiday season properly. Sophie planted a kiss on his cheek which mollified him a bit, she knew him, of course. She knew everyone in this town.

  “Hi yourself Daz boy. Is this place as crummy as I think it’s going to be?” He shrugged, a mixture of mild denial and embarrassment.

  Yup, it was as crummy as Sophie expected. The flat was cold and unwelcoming when Darren opened the door, it looked unloved and unlived in and smelled damp. I tried so hard to imagine it with a few Christmas cards up and a tree in the corner, tried so hard to ignore the way Soph pulled her jacket tighter round her and pulled funny faces. But my stomach was all clenched up inside and all I could think of was how much nicer it was with Charlie.

  I really had to sort things in the new year, find a place I could call home and put down some roots, because if I didn’t I’d never move on. And Charlie didn’t deserve coming home to find me with an undressed Dane, or whoever I might find in the future. And I knew now that there was a future post-James. And whether it was a casual shag or one day something more serious, or whether it was just me with a toy box, I was all grown up and needed to have a place I called home. My home, not someone else’s.

  And yet, I think on balance I’d picked this flat because I knew I wouldn’t really like it, well apart from it being the only advertised place of course. Nothing as perverse as a woman who knows her own mind, maybe, is there?

  When Sophie had encouraged me to make the move to Cheshire I’d not been completely convinced. In my heart I’d known I needed a new start, but the sensible side of me kept reminding me that I knew lots of people in London, there were tons of jobs that paid well, and, well and nothing really. I guess I was just fighting change.

  London had been fun, a challenge, but was all about James if I was honest. It was his territory and although in some ways he appeared weak-chinned and feeble he had this hard core deep inside that meant what he wanted he got. And he wasn’t bothered how. I had been his respectable cover, the slim blonde with a degree and good table manners who put up with his pernickety ways and over the top personal grooming because I thought I loved him. And all I’d got was the shell and what he got was exactly what he needed, permission to carry on the lifestyle he really wanted to. But I wasn’t anyone’s cover story, even if I had been able to lead my life however I wanted. I wanted to either be part of a team, or be on my own.

  Sophie poked in the cupboards and showed me the stunning view of next door’s garbage. Then she dared to open the bathroom door and that finished it for both of us. We both let out eeks and I slammed the door shut with a force that shook the glass in the rotting window frames.

  I thanked Darren, and Sophie gave him a festive kiss, and we trudged down the dingy stairs and back into the street. After Christmas I’d try, I would really try and find the place I wanted to call home. But first I’d make sure that I gave Charlie the kind of thank you Christmas he deserved.

  “So, you going to treat me to a mince pie and mulled wine before I have to head over to little sister’s place to pluck the turkey.”

  “You actually need to pluck it?”

  “Just a turn of phrase. Well, peel the sprouts or whatever.”

  We grabbed a cosy seat by the fire in the pub and I was disappointed and relieved that there was no sign of Dane. Tomorrow. All I had to do was wait until tomorrow, and with Sophie it would have been embarrassing. My mobile shuddered just as I took a tentative sip of the warm wine.

  “Bugger.”

  “Trouble?” Sophie grabbed my phone to check out my text, she never was one to stand on ceremony. Confidential was not a word that featured in her very extensive vocabulary for some inexplicable reason. “Oh yeah, bugger. What does the little shit want now?”

  It was from James asking what I was doing for Christmas. “Erm.”

  “His gang bang fallen through then?” Sophie said exactly what I was thinking.

  “Maybe all the bangees have family to see at Christmas?”

  She grinned. “I like that, gang bangees.”

  “I think he’s feeling all sentimental.”

  “James was never sentimental, Holly.”

  “True.” I read the rest of the text, phrased carefully and precisely like all of James messages were. “Maybe he’s lonely.” Anyone could get lonely, even James.

  “You’re not going to answer?” She sounded a bit surprised as I dropped the mobile back in my bag.

  “Nope.” I gave her an impulsive hug. All of a sudden, flat or not, I knew that this was where I wanted to be. James and my life with him already seemed a hundred miles away, a different reality.

  When I’d moved the first thing I’d done was to buy the horse I’d always wanted, but he’d hated. I’d hit on a job that was okay, and I had friends. Real friends like Sophie and Charlie who cared about me and loved me enough to trudge round looking at flats on Christmas Eve, enough not to complain when I invited strange men to stay over–well that had been Sophie’s doing, but hey ho, semantics. And then of course there was Dane. Whether we had a fling, a nothing or a bit of a something I wanted to hang around and find out.

  “Good.” She hugged me back, and I knew exactly why Sophie meant so much to me. “Bottoms up to a fun Christmas.” She was grinning like a naughty school girl. “Though how you land my two favorite hunks and I get left with my sister and her brood I just don’t know.”

  “I promise there’ll be some leftovers for Boxing Day.” She’s probably laughing at me because I’ve blushed, but it doesn’t matter. “I wish you were coming too, Soph.”

  “So do I. Believe me, so do I. I do hope she remembers to actually buy a turkey this year and doesn’t send me out on a rescue mission.” But it’s not about the turkey is it? It’s about Dane and Charlie and exactly what we’re going to be sharing this Christmas.

  ***

  “You’re back.” Charlie grins a welcome from where he is slouched on the sofa and flicks the TV off. “Any luck?” I grin back and some of the tension drifts away as if by magic. I didn’t know whether it would be good between us or things would be awkward after what he’d come back to this morning. But that was obviously just me being silly, I knew Charlie better than that. And now it just felt good to be home.

  “Crap.”

  “Oh, bummer.” I could have sworn he looked almost pleased as he swung his legs off the cushion. “Come and tell Uncle Charlie all about it.”

  “Only a highly suspect uncle would look like you.” I didn’t often look at Charlie properly, because he was a friend, and you just don’t study friends in the same way you don’t really stop and look at your family. But I did look now, at all of him, not just his bum like I had when he left the pub the other night. He was all slim and sinew, sexy in a laid-back, relaxed and comfy way and exactly what I needed after a confusing day.

  I sat down next to him and he gave me the type of bear hug I needed, but he didn’t quite let go. He left his long arm trailing around the back of me, his fingers just about resting on my shoulder. And it brought a lump to my throat and a sudden need to grab hold of him and not let go. So I bit on my bottom lip instead and stared at the floor.

  He was barefooted, and I don’t really like feet, the idea of sucking toes just puts me off, well everything. But Charlie had long, even elegant toes. Laid-back, like the rest of him and for one crazy moment I could imagine running my fingers down his insole, running my tongue along the smooth skin until he groaned. I gritted my teeth and made myself snap out of it. Hugging was bad, licking feet was a hundred times worse.

  “Hey Mrs. Moody cheer up.” His sweatpants were warm and unthreatening as I put a hand on his knee and he leaned across me with an arm that was strong and capable, but so unlike Dane’s obvious muscles, and tapped the very tip of my nose. He was lean and almost delicate, nothing to sp
are, his warm chest against me so that I could hear his heart thrumming in my ear. Yet he was so comfortable, familiar and safe.

  “I’m fine.” I don’t know why it had hit me like this now, Charlie’s had always been a stop gap, but maybe it was just the time of year, or the fact I’d suddenly realized how much I liked his company, or maybe it was Dane and Sophie and an evening that had left me wanting so much more.

  “I’m not sure I want you to go.” His breath was gentle against the top of my head, then he rubbed his chin gently backwards and forwards, the soft movement stirring something deep inside my stomach.

  “Really?”

  “I’d miss you.” His long fingers brushed the side of my face lightly, his fingers tangling with my hair and I held my breath. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to say anything that would stop him talking. I just wanted him to carry on talking, carry on holding me, carry on making me feel safe and wanted.

  “I’d miss you too, Charlie.”

  “No.” He spiraled the lock of my hair tighter around his finger until it tugged at my scalp, at something a bit deeper inside. “I’d really miss you.” I pulled away then and looked at him. The baby blue eyes were as clear and wide as ever, but he looked so damn serious I had to reach out and run my fingertips over his wide chiseled cheekbone just to stop the feeling of unreality.

  “Don’t go, Holly.” He still had his hand in my hair and I felt like I should be running, before this all went wrong, but I didn’t want to. Then he kissed me. He’d kissed me before, on the cheek, on the head, even on the lips. But this was different. His perfect lips met mine with the lightest of touches, but it was like a deep caress, it filtered through me and there was no way I could move. The tip of his tongue skated along my lower lip and I needed him so much it made me feel hollow inside.

  “Charlie.”

  “Don’t say anything.” He was still so close, his lips touching mine as he spoke and then his tongue ran slowly over the tips of my teeth and every bit of me seemed to clench with need. He smelled of coffee, and tasted of mints. Fresh and good, and I closed my eyes and let the shivers run through me as he gently explored my mouth. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to kiss him back, I just wanted to feel, to taste. To take. His hands were cradling my head, and he ran his thumbs up the side of my face with a sensuous stroke that was better than any massage I’d ever had, reaching out and unknotting every kink in my body.

  My whole body seemed to sigh and I let myself relax against him just a tiny bit more. His tongue circled mine, tempting me, teasing me as he drew his lips the smallest of distances away and I knew I couldn’t not have him. I sucked at his lower lip and his groan made me smile inside, his hands had tightened around my face, his breath quickening.

  “Can I?” He was staring at my top as though he was hoping he could wish it away, so I did it for him. I stripped the jumper over my head, and it wasn’t the cold that sent a shiver of goose bumps over my skin. His hand slipped down over my shoulder and I was holding my breath as he stared, as his gentle touch made my sex clench with anticipation. “You are so fucking gorgeous.” He dipped his head, but he didn’t suck my hard nipples as I thought he would. He kissed my throat, let his damp mouth burn a trail of delicate kisses down my chest. Ever so gently he pulled the lace of my bra cups under my breasts as I swayed, not sure what to do. For a moment he just stared and my breasts grew heavier and hotter with every second.

  “Please.” I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, I couldn’t stand another second of waiting. I’d never been good at foreplay and this was coiling me up to the point of jumping on him. He chuckled but let me guide him forward, and then his tongue traced a slow lazy circle of dampness around my nipple and I felt a rush of juices to my knickers. He lifted his head, replaced his tongue with his thumb, then gently pinched at my nipple, pulling it to an ever harder peak and sending a jolt of need straight through the centre of me. “Oh God, Charlie, touch me.” His blue eyes were dark, almost black, like some angel turned devil, and I loved a devil. Then he opened the button of my jeans as surely as if he did it every day and his soft hand glided deep inside, knowing fingers slipping under my skimpy knickers and straight to my pussy. I wanted him to know how wet I was, what he was doing to me, wanted him to know that my clit was throbbing with need. And he did. His gaze never left my face, then he rubbed down hard on my clit and I came. I gasped and shuddered and throbbed with surprise against his firm hand. And for a girl who normally comes best with a hard cock inside her, that came as a bit of a shock. He slipped down to my feet then and tugged at my jeans until they were round my ankles, and then his elegant fingers traced small spiraling circles on my inner thighs until I was gasping again. He blew over my slit, warm air that felt cold against my hot skin and I reached down to pull him closer.

  I don’t like being sucked or licked, I don’t like the way I’m not in control, I don’t like the sweet sickly smell or the kisses that come after. But I needed him to do it now. Agonizingly slowly, he nibbled his way up my thighs, parting my legs wider so that his thumbs could stroke my shaved pussy. One long finger traced down my almost shaven mound and he grinned as if he’d won a prize. “Nice landing strip.” His fingers fluttered over my throbbing flesh and I moaned, struggling to free one foot from my jeans so that I could open wider for him.

  “Please.”

  “Later.” So if he wasn’t going to bury his face between my needy thighs what was he going to do? He stroked more firmly, hard enough to part my lips slightly, hard enough for the cool touch of his fingers to set me trembling. My thighs were shaking under his hands and I was panting, waiting. “I want to fuck you, Holly.” He was staring right at me, his voice low and steady, on the edge of a growl and I suddenly understood what it was to need. “I want to bury my hard cock deep inside you until I can feel you tight around me.” Christ, just the way he was talking was going to tip me over the edge any minute now, Charlie was sweet, Charlie was kind, but right now Charlie was like some graceful feline about to pounce. And I liked it. I liked it too much to wait. “I’ve always wanted you.”

  For Christ sakes, take me, yeah I very nearly screamed it at him, but I didn’t. I bit my tongue and rocked my hips in silent supplication.

  “If I do this—”

  “Do it, please.” I was whispering, but he heard me.

  “We might—”

  “Please.”

  And he stood up, his face tense with concentration, tugged his pants down and his perfect long, slim cock jumped out.

  “Please.” I really had to stop saying please like some mindless moron. I reached out and ran a finger down the length of him and he shuddered.

  “Don’t, or I’ll lose it.” His voice was rough-edged and I knew he was as close as I was. I don’t know where he grabbed the condom from, but he was rolling it on with shaking fingers and I knew he was afraid. We were friends, not lovers. We did hugging, not kissing. But we needed this, both of us did, it just felt as natural as the moon shifting from new to full. Something had altered the status quo, tipped the balance and I didn’t know or care what.

  He nudged against me and I shifted, eager for more, he held my hips tight so that I couldn’t take control and ever so slowly sank inside me. It was perfect and it was purgatory. So slow, so beautiful … so damn frustrating. He pulled me closer to the edge of the sofa and then slowly withdrew until he was almost out, then with maddening control he pushed back inside. I wrapped my legs around his lean hips locked my ankles, held him firm and felt the gentle pulsing between us. He leaned forward, brushed my hair back, kissed my neck and I could feel him shaking. I pulled at him hard so that our pelvises grated and it was then he lost it. His mouth came down on mine, crushing my lips, far different to before and it sparked a hunger. I moaned into his mouth, sucked at his tongue and he started to pound at me, thrusting with hard powerful strokes that took him so deep inside me it made me shake. He licked my nipple, sucked until it bordered on pain and sent a ting
le straight to my clit, and I was laughing and crying and I didn’t know why. I reached down, pressed my hand to my swollen bud, curled my fingers against him and the shaking that had been inside spread out.

  I could feel him grow that extra bit inside me, feel him expand, throb and as he came his mouth came down on mine again and I could taste him, and swallow the roar.

  He was panting when he straightened up. “I’m not sure that was supposed to happen.” Ever the gent, he looked a bit sheepish and a lot pleased with himself.

  “Yeah, right.” I grinned and pulled him back down so that I could plant a quick kiss on his full lips, he tasted just right. He ran a finger down my stomach until it got to the point where our two bodies met and I shuddered in response. “You better stop that before you set me off again.”

  The full throaty laugh hit me in the gut. Charlie was good, uncomplicated fun, he’d never be without a girl, I just hadn’t thought I was on the list. I hadn’t thought I wanted to be. “You’ll have to give me a minute to recover.”

  I laughed with him, and everything contracted and squeezed his semi-hard cock right out of its hidey hole. He glanced down. “Maybe more than a minute?”

  I’m just nestled nice and cosy against him when he levers himself up on one elbow and runs a gentle finger down the side of my face. “Holl, I don’t want to interfere or anything, but —” I hate ‘buts’ “—I don’t want you to get hurt and Dane —”

  “I know.”

  “He’s a great guy, but —”

  “I know, really.”

  “You don’t, not even Dane knows.” He kisses the tip of my nose and I suddenly wonder if all this sharing stuff is getting out of hand.