Forgotten Trails

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  She turned, her grin growing. They did share a secret. A secret that defined who she was.

  Tom waved his spatula in the air, flicking chunks of food through the air. “Rachiah, you said you needed to talk?”

  Rachiah shook her head. “No. I can talk to you about it later.” She would hold off on quitting for the time being. With the job she could stay around a little longer to get to know Ratchet. Plus, this way she wouldn’t be letting Tom down – yeah, she had to keep telling herself that to excuse her sudden change in plans.

  Getting to know Ratchet meant she would get to know herself.

  ~~~

  Her hour long lunch break gave her enough time to run to the hotel. She didn’t want to spend any of Damon’s money. And as nice as the motel was, she’d done just fine in her car.

  She checked out and rearranged her car. Inside the diner, she grabbed her meal for her first four hour shift.

  Tom stuck his head out of the door between the kitchen and the front room. “Rachiah, you had a message from Ratchet. He said he can’t meet you here. Maybe the park?” He shrugged at her and disappeared back inside.

  Rachiah calmed her heartbeat. For a second she had thought he was going to cancel. She would meet him at the park, or anywhere, as long as he didn’t cancel.

  She had to call him Ratchet. She had thought of him as Jeffrey Howard for so long – even knowing he went by Ratchet, she hadn’t called him that in her head. She could use the disconnect of his nickname to keep a clear head, free from emotions.

  The last hour of her shift dragged on into eternity. And yet as the final minute ticked by, things started to speed up a little too fast for her comfort.

  What was she doing? Why hadn’t she started home? She had to sleep in her car again and she hadn’t planned on that.

  In what felt like seconds, she was sitting at the park, bundled in her coat on the bench. The sun would be setting in a couple hours and the temperature had already begun to drop.

  Sleeping in her car was going to be a blast. She snorted at her inner sarcasm. She forgot how cold it was getting. She hadn’t made any plans for winter and it was chillingly apparent.

  Ratchet gave a low whistle when he came into view. With his hands tucked in his pockets and a low waisted denim jacket on, he looked like he too was trying to wield off the cold.

  He lifted his hands to his mouth as he reached her. Blowing air into his cupped palms, he rubbed his fingers together briskly. “I didn’t realize how cold it was. You want to go back to my place? It’s just down the road.”

  She glanced in the direction he pointed. Did she want to? She didn’t know him. But he had gone out of his way to meet with her. She didn’t want him to feel like she was high maintenance. She didn’t want to disappoint him.

  Rachiah’s hesitation didn’t last long. She nodded. “Sure, that’s fine. I’ll follow you in my car.” She needed to keep her options for leaving open. If she could leave anytime, it left her more in control.

  His house was only a couple blocks from the park like he said. Rachiah turned the key in the ignition, turning off the engine. She stared at the craftsman style two-story home. It had peeling paint and boxes piled on the sloping deck to the side of the building.

  He rounded the front of the house, waving at her from where she had parked at the curb.

  “Here goes nothing.” Rachiah open the door and stepped from her car. She closed the door and swallowed nervously. He waited for her at the top of his three-step patio. She motioned to the home. “How long have you owned this?”

  “Psht. I don’t. I’ve rented for a month or so, don’t want to get tied down in any one spot. No one owns me.” He opened the screen door and motioned her inside. “Come on in. Sorry about the mess. It’s only me in here.”

  Rachiah couldn’t help studying the rooms.

  It wasn’t a huge home. What looked like two stories was actually a loft style home. There may or may not have been a basement, it wasn’t evident from the front of the house. There might have been egress windows in the back, but from where she stood there were no stairs headed down.

  Take-out boxes from the diner littered the small table off the kitchen. The living room couch had shirts hanging off the back of the couch. Calling it a couch was actually being more than generous. The futon was rumpled and lumpy looking. The wood of the frame was stained. A small box TV sat on a fold-up table against the wall.

  He didn’t have much.

  Rachiah definitely would not be able to be accused of chasing after a fortune.

  “Go ahead and take a seat. Would you like a beer or anything?” He strode into the kitchen and propped open the fridge door.

  Rachiah shook her head. “No, thank you.” She edged into the room, claiming a spot on the far end of the futon gingerly. She sat on the furthest edge that she could, hoping it was cleaner than it looked.

  Ratchet dragged a chair in from the table and set it up across from Rachiah, his back to the TV. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions for me.” He cracked open a can of beer and drank.

  Where did she start? She had so many questions and no order to ask them in. “I do. I just... My biggest question is... Why did you leave?” She got it out. Blurting out was a lot less painful than taking her time and eking her words through clenched lips.

  Ratchet looked down, rubbing his hands together more. It seemed to be a nervous tic of his. He finally lifted his gaze and cocked his head to the side. “I was too young. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was hired on the reservation as a mechanic to teach some of their other guys there. Back then there weren’t a lot of opportunities for the minority sector. You have to understand I was only there for one reason. They didn’t welcome me. I was an outsider.”

  He crossed his ankle over his knee and leaned back. “So, when your mom showed interest in me, treated me like something other than a leper, I couldn’t resist temptation. Plus, you have to understand, Jewel was gorgeous.” He eyed Rachiah. “She probably still is.”

  Rachiah nodded, chuckling softly. Her mom was gorgeous. That had never changed.

  “I didn’t even know she was pregnant until her dad came and found me. He dragged me back to the reservation for the birth. I signed a certificate and... Left. She didn’t want me. She didn’t want me and she made that very clear. I didn’t know her like I wanted to, but I was willing to make things right.” He shifted to face her fully and turned to a pleading tone. “You gotta believe me, Rachiah, when I say, I tried to contact you. I tried so many times. She wouldn’t give me anything.”

  Anger welled inside Rachiah. She hadn’t been able to know her real dad because of decisions her mom had made. Her mom had kept the truth from her all those years. While what he was saying didn’t sound like things her mom would do, she hadn’t been able to ask her mom about her side. She hadn’t been able to talk to her about it. Rachiah had felt too betrayed at the time.

  Ratchet’s honesty was refreshing after the lies he’d told her. So open. He was willing to talk to her and answer her questions. She didn’t blame him for not claiming to know who Jeffrey Howard was from the beginning. He seemed to be a drifter, and drifters moved for a reason.

  The sun had begun to set, and if Rachiah wanted to get to a good place for the night she would have to leave. “I appreciate your candor. I should probably get going, it’s getting late.”

  “Where are you staying? Maybe we could get together again tomorrow?” He laughed and crossed his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m a little pushy sometimes. If it’s too fast or too soon let me know. I’m easy. I want to make up for lost time.”

  Would he consider her a failure, if she was honest? For Rachiah though, lying wasn’t an option. She lifted her chin. “I actually sleep in my car. It’s cheaper and I need to save money.”

  “Whoa.” Ratchet leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “This might seem forward, but you’re welcome to stay here.” Concern drew his eyebrows together. And his smile faded to a frown. “This is
only a one bedroom. You can take the bedroom and I’ll sleep out here on the futon. There’s a lock on the bedroom, too. We can take the chance to get to know each other better. It just doesn’t seem right having my girl sleeping out in a car, you know? Not when I have all this. What kind of a dad would I be?”

  His words warmed Rachiah. He really was a good guy. Her irritation at his initial rejection banished completely along with any lingering feelings of caution. She quieted the alarm bells going off in her head. Of course, she was going to be nervous in the situation. She’d never met her biological father before.

  His concern made her feel like there was a chance she would get to know her real dad. A chance she would get to understand the part of her she always felt was missing.

  It might be too soon to jump into a comforted lull. Rachiah couldn’t help feeling better, like things were finally looking up for her.

  She had craved answers for far too long.

  How was she ever going to tell Damon that she wasn’t coming home right away?

  Chapter 10

  Damon

  Damon waited all night to call Rachiah. He couldn’t wait to see her and she had to have talked to her boss by now. She got up for the early shift, so he could call her right before he left for his own job.

  He tapped his finger on the counter, while he braced himself against the wall. The phone rang.

  She answered with a smile in her voice. “Hey, trouble.”

  He grinned. “Morning. I couldn’t start my day without hearing your voice.”

  She chuckled, her voice lowering. “I’m heading to work, too. How are you? That was awesome seeing you. You made it bearable down here. Thank you for that.” Shyness faded her voice at the end.

  He liked that he affected her since she had claimed most of his thoughts since he’d left her. “I loved seeing you again. When are you coming home? Did you talk to your boss? Maybe Friday? I was thinking we could catch a movie or something.”

  Her pause left him anxious, and he couldn’t put a finger on why. Until she spoke. “I’m not going to be coming home right now. At least not as soon as Friday. I need some more time.” Rummaging sounds from her end filled the silence after her words faded.

  Damon didn’t want to know. He wanted to go back to the excitement and flirting from the start of the call. But he asked. “Really? Why?” Was she going to try to continue searching for her dad? She was so determined she was full-blooded Salish, she wasn’t opening her eyes to the possibility that Ratchet really could be her dad. Or her father. However she wanted to spin it.

  “I’ll get your money to you. I’m not going to be using it. Thank you for letting me use it though. That was very thoughtful of you.” She avoided his question so he had to ask again.

  “The money isn’t important. What’s going on? Why aren’t you coming home?” He turned to place his back against the wall and stare down at the floor, unseeing. Seeing her sooner was the only that kept him sane. Especially when he was dealing with MT.

  She hmmed in the back of her throat. Damon tried to ignore how melodic her voice was. “My dad is letting me stay with him.”

  “What?” He couldn’t keep the shock from his voice at the sudden turn of events. How could Ratchet go from not acknowledging her to accepting her as his daughter and then having her move in with him?

  Something wasn’t right.

  Damon didn’t need brains to understand the twists and rolls in his gut. “Do you want me to come down?”

  “No. Why? He’s my father, Damon. I trust him. He wants to make up for lost time. He’s telling me everything I need to know about what happened. It’s an opportunity for me to get to know him. That’s more important than I can tell you.” She sounded happy, peaceful.

  Damon didn’t want to take that from her.

  At the same time, though, he had to warn her. He cared too much for her to not spell out how he felt. “I know it’s none of my business. I just don’t want you to be set up for failure, Rachiah. I’m worried about this. Something doesn’t feel right.”

  Rachiah chuckled a little, brushing off his concern. “Remember when we talked about being too honest? This might be one of those times, Damon. I don’t have any bad feelings about this. I need to get going. Talk later?”

  “Don’t be foolish, Rachiah. You need to come home. This isn’t safe.” Worry had him pushing off the wall and standing in the center of the kitchen with his hands clenched.

  She sighed. “Why don’t you want me to be happy? Are you one of those guys that think a woman needs to be with a man in order to find happiness? I want to know my father. He’s giving me a chance. I need you to be happy for me.” How quickly she’d gone from laughing to sounding on the verge of tears. Damon had done that again. Dang it, he didn’t want to make her cry.

  A flash of Melissa as a teenager and running to the bathroom after one of his comments crossed his mind.

  Damon closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. “I am happy for you. I want this to work for you desperately. I just want you to be careful. Don’t rush into anything. Promise me.”

  “Of course. I haven’t made it this long and this far without some kind of caution. I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up without waiting for his answer, as if she expected further lectures.

  Damon lowered his silent phone. What the hell was he supposed to do with that? How could he help her when he didn’t know what was going on?

  ~~~

  Damon couldn’t focus. Anxiety held his muscles tense, and a blinding headache worked itself into a rage under the brim of his hat. Usually his Stetson staved off the rays of the sun, but not that day. Nothing was keeping him comfortable, nothing.

  “What’s going on with you, man?” Ryland slapped his shoulder, pointing at the well they were working on. “I asked for a twelve inch hole and you gave me a thirty-six. Whatever is going on, straighten it out.”

  Damon rested his hands on top of the rounded handle of the shovel. When had he switched to the shovel from the post hole digger? His mind was so jumbled. He had to talk to Ryland about it. “Rachiah moved in with her father.”

  Ryland jerked back, yanking the measuring tape from the hole. “She what? I thought he rejected her.”

  Damon shrugged as he took off a glove to rub his eyes. “I guess. I don’t know what’s going on. When I talked to her this morning she sounded happy. I don’t know what to make of everything. It’s really confusing.”

  Ryland stared into the distance, the prairie offering something for him to focus on. “Everything is so messed up. Did you hear Nate is over on the east side of the state? He’s working in the oil fields over there. Since when do we do oil field work? Our family does ranch work. Add to that Cyan’s pregnant already. They just got married.” He picked up his hat and resettled it on his head. “I don’t know, man. Nate needs to get home. We need to get the Montana Trails back together. I think we’ll all feel a whole lot steadier if we do that.”

  “What do I do about Rachiah? Getting Nate back here isn’t going to fix it.” Damon struggled with frustration welling inside him. It wasn’t Ryland’s fault Damon was irritated.

  “Sounds like she might need you to go talk to MT about it. He’s her brother, man. He has more of a right to interfere with her life than you do. Unless you guys have decided there’s something steady between you which would mean you should stay away from MT as much as possible. Or are you still just floating as friends?” Ryland resettled his hat and studied his brother with a tight squint to his eyes.

  Were they floating as friends? Damon didn’t really do commitment, but then again he’d never been given a chance with anyone like Rachiah. She was intoxicating, smart, steadfast, dedicated. A huge piece of her was lost and she wasn’t even sure why.

  At the beginning, Damon had focused on her because she had reminded him of Melissa. But somewhere, she had morphed into her own thing. Become her own person in his mind. The connection between the two for him wasn’t as defined any more, plus he h
adn’t felt emotions and longing for Melissa like he did Rachiah. Which made him wonder, how much of his dogged pursuit for forgiveness from Melissa stemmed from his emotions for Rachiah?

  “You’re right. I’ll go talk to MT.” Damon slapped his gloves together to release any loose dust and then removed them to tuck them in his back pocket. MT would be around the back of the truck messing with something he wanted them to assemble.

  Damon wasn’t MTs favorite person. And that was fine. Damon got it. Yet, as far as Damon was concerned, MT needed to know what was going on. He needed to be aware of the situation with his sister.

  Damon approached the man with a long dark braid down the back shining in the sunlight. Damon cleared his throat and glanced back to where Ryland watched him at the head of the truck, half hidden by the bulk of the hood. “Excuse me, MT? I need to talk to you about Rachiah.”

  MT shook his head, the feather and beads worked into his long hair clinked with the movement. He turned to face Damon, cross his arms over his chest and lifting his chin. “We aren’t talking about Rachiah. All I need to know is that the two of you are not together. I don’t want to know about you. You work for me. That’s all. And no, you can’t have my blessing. I guarantee you won’t get it from my dad. You’re white. She’s Salish. Too big of a difference.”

  “I don’t need your blessing to date anyone. Not even your sister.” He ignored the tightening lines of MTs jaw line. “She’s down in North Fork, Wyoming staying with a man she claims to be her biological father. Now I don’t know all of the details with what’s going on with your family, but Rachiah’s been searching for her biological father for the last few months, gathering information for years. I don’t feel right about her staying with this guy. I met him. He’s sketchy. I barely trusted him to work on my truck. And he’s not Salish.” Damon lifted his eyebrows as if to suggest MT needed to back off.

  MTs mouth opened, his jaw dropping involuntarily. He looked around at the job site and at Ryland whose eavesdropping had become open gawking.