Between Friends

by Kitt, Sandra

  “You didn’t understand him.”

  “He didn’t deserve the love Lillian had for him.”

  “You’ve said enough,” Vin said.

  Alex stared at Vin, seeing much more than pain in his eyes … and it surprised him. Vin had never struck Alex as being a vulnerable man. But he could see a level of doubt and anguish that he hadn’t expected, as if Vin might actually believe there was some validity in what he was saying. Alex stood up and took a deep breath. There was no point in voicing any criticism of Nicholas to his father.

  Alex swept his hand over his short bristly hair. “Look … the truth is, Vin, I used to be jealous as hell of Nick. But I got over it. He had the kind of life I used to dream about as a kid. He had a family … the way I wanted. As far as I’m concerned, he blew it.”

  Alex half expected Vin to rush to the defense of his son, but he didn’t. Instead he sat still, staring off into space with tired eyes. Alex stopped directly in front of Vin, forcing him out of his reverie.

  “You don’t know everything about Nick.”

  Alex shrugged. “Too late to change anything, even if I did.” He stared at Vin. “Do you ever think about … grandchildren?” He almost didn’t expect Vin to answer, but he stared down at his hands and his brows lifted in an almost wistful fashion.

  “There’s Justin. Nick’s kid with Theresa. But we never see him. Don’t know him hardly.” Vin shrugged in resignation. “Nothing Lilly and me can do about it. A grandson could have carried on the business. Now I don’t know what I’m gonna do when it’s time to retire.” Vin straightened his shoulders and withdrew, once again becoming caustic. “Anyway, it’s nothing for you to worry about. I’ll be okay.”

  “I know. I came here to tell you I know it hurts a lot. Whatever Nick’s faults were, he was still your son.” Alex walked to the door and opened it. He turned once more to his father. “Now you know how I always felt.”

  Vin blinked up at him. “How?”

  “I don’t think it’s any different than when I realized I was never going to have a father. And you were never going to accept me as your son.”

  Alex had no more he wanted to say. He left the office and headed back toward his car.

  “Wait a minute …”

  Alex continued on but slowed his steps as he glanced over his shoulder at Vin.

  Vin slowly approached Alex, his expression pensive and hesitant. He stopped several feet away. “I got something to say, too.”

  “Go ahead,” Alex encouraged.

  “Your mother and me …” He shook his head, shrugged, struggled for words. “It just happened. It was one of those things. I don’t even remember her. I don’t remember what she looked like. I … I was upset about something else and …”

  Alex felt his skin grow warm and flushed. He’d waited his whole life to hear his father acknowledge his mother. But not in this way. This is not what he wanted to hear. That his mother had been nothing more than an opportunity.

  Alex nodded. “I know. Like you said, it just happened. But you and Lillian were already married by then.”

  Vin shifted uncomfortably and didn’t deny it. “Yeah, that’s right. We were having some problems and … I made a mistake. That’s all it was.”

  “My mother always said you probably don’t remember her. She was never angry or bitter. To her it was kind of romantic. She knew you from the neighborhood … your family’s business. She said she always had a crush on you.”

  Vin looked genuinely surprised. And then suspicious again. “Yeah? How come she never told nobody about me and what happened?”

  “Because she never blamed you. And she never wanted anything from you.”

  Vin stared at him for a long moment. And then he walked closer to Alex. It was the first time Alex felt that Vin was responding to him with some emotion other than anger. Alex waited, knowing that they were both on the verge of an understanding that, for a lot of reasons, was not possible before.

  “I love Lillian more than anything. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. What I did … I thought if she found out, I’d lose her. I would have deserved it.”

  “Then, why did you do it? Why did you risk everything?”

  Vin’s mouth clamped shut. “I can’t talk about it. I know you talk to Lilly …”

  “You don’t have to worry. She’s never said a thing to me about that time.”

  Vin narrowed his gaze on Alex. “That time when you showed up, I thought it was some kind of trick. I thought …”

  “That me or my mother were going to try and blackmail you.” Alex shook his head at the irony of it. “How? For what?”

  “You could’ve told Lilly.”

  “But I didn’t have to. The moment she and I met, she knew. And it didn’t seem to matter.”

  Vin sighed. “No. She didn’t ask any questions. But I … I told her everything.”

  “And she forgave you.”

  “Yeah … she forgave me.”

  “You didn’t learn anything from her, did you?” Alex asked softly. He turned to get into his car.

  “How come you’re so interested in my business?”

  For a moment Alex was confused. He thought he’d made himself clear how he felt about his mother. About Nick. But Vin was now referring to the service station. Alex shrugged, as if he hadn’t really thought about it all that much.

  “This is a good location for your business. It’s on a main street and there’s a lot of traffic. How come you don’t have people driving in here all the time?”

  “Some people go elsewhere, that’s all. Competition, plain and simple.”

  Alex faced him squarely. “How come you’re not doing anything about it?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like not cave in and let your customers go elsewhere. Fight for them. Otherwise you’re not going to last another five years.”

  “Marco Mechanics has been a family business for fifty years. I was hoping Nicky would come in and keep it going. With him gone …”

  “Doesn’t mean you have to give up, Vin. Look at this place.” Alex spread his arms and looked around. “It’s old. I can’t believe you’re still using a four-pull rack for hoisting cars. How come you don’t have hydraulic lift? Where’s the impact wrench? Pneumatic equipment and a real diagnostic center?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with what I got. Everything works.”

  “So does that ten-year-old Cavalier in the side lot. But it doesn’t have power windows or air bags. No one is going to buy it without those things. People want modern. New.”

  Vin shook his head. “Cost too much money …”

  Another car turned into the lot, and their attention was drawn to the medium-priced sports car that was maneuvered into the space next to where Alex was parked. A rap number boomed from the speakers but died abruptly when the engine was turned off. A young male got out, his hair cut in a severe fashion from ear to ear, suggesting the use of a bowl to achieve the hard, clean edge. He sported a gold earring in his left lobe. These were his only concessions to his age and current fashion. He was otherwise attired in a royal blue workman’s jumpsuit, appropriate to the trade of working on the innards of cars.

  “You’re late,” Vin greeted him in an unforgiving tone.

  “Traffic, man,” the young man gave as a nonchalant excuse. He openly scrutinized Alex. “You a new customer, or you gonna work here?”

  Alex grinned, amused. He thought he might have to change his mind about Vin. Maybe he was loosening up and becoming more tolerant. “I’m passing through. Just leaving.”

  “This is Julio, my new mechanic. He’s good. Knows what he’s doing most of the time,” Vin complimented the young man.

  “Hey … I’m the man,” Julio announced with the confidence of a con artist. He held out his hand to Alex.

  Alex automatically adjusted, grasping the offered hand in a street greeting more complicated than a mere shake. “Alex Marco,” he introduced himself.

  Julio caught on r
ight away. “You related or something to the boss?”

  Alex cast a quick glance at Vin, who stood waiting for his answer. Alex knew better than to attempt one. But he also wasn’t going to let Vin off the hook. He pointed to Vin as he climbed into his car. “I think you’d better ask the boss.”

  He drove away leaving Vin with something to talk about.

  “Hello?”

  “Who’s this?”

  “I’m Megan. Do you want to talk to Aunt Dallas?”

  “Aunt Dallas?” The male voice chuckled. “You must be the godchild she told me about. Yeah. Put her on.”

  “What’s your name?” Megan asked.

  “Oh … she’ll know who it is. Just tell her, a friend.”

  Megan knelt on the sofa cushions and yelled down the short corridor leading to the rest of the apartment. “Aunt Dallas … there’s a man on the phone. He says he wants to talk to you.”

  Dallas hung her robe on the hook inside the closet door and leaned toward the bedroom door. “What man? Did you get his name?”

  “He said you’ll know.”

  Dallas sighed. She hated this. What was this with people who didn’t want to identify themselves? She sat down on the side of her bed and picked up the extension.

  “I got it,” she called out again, and heard Megan hang up from the living room. “Hello?”

  “Guess we can’t get together tonight.”

  “Hello, Burke. You should have called sooner.”

  “I called yesterday morning. You didn’t get back to me.”

  “I was probably in a meeting with Peggy. Then I had an appointment I was running late for. I never checked my voice mail.”

  “You didn’t check it in the afternoon, either.”

  She tried to remember. “You’re right. I had to pick up Megan from Penn Station. She’s staying with me for the weekend.”

  “See that? You can’t always blame me when we don’t talk,” he said self-righteously. “But I won’t hold it against you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So you’re not available?”

  “Megan goes home this afternoon. What do you have in mind?”

  “Just to be with you,” Burke said disarmingly.

  Dallas waited. Then she felt ashamed of herself. She expected so much from him, and then was suspicious of his offering. “That’s nice.”

  “I was hoping to meet and catch a show at the Blue Note.”

  One of his clients, Dallas guessed. “I can do that. Are we meeting for dinner first?”

  “I can’t. I have to sit in on a taping at five. You have to get your godchild home, right?”

  She shouldn’t complain, Dallas realized. He was trying. “That’s true.”

  “Meet me at the club? It’ll save time, and the taping might run over.”

  Dallas quietly hung up the phone. She sat and waited for the crash to start. That sensation in the middle of her body that made her feel as if she were shrinking and were going to disappear. That digging into her soul to let the air out because she wasn’t quite good enough and her feelings didn’t matter. Except for the first time she wasn’t sure they’d ever been together that it wasn’t about business. Sleeping with him was private. Maybe. Either Burke didn’t get it, or he didn’t really care.

  “Aunt Dallas! Come here, quick!”

  Dallas jumped. She got up and hurried to the living room, where Megan had been watching Sunday morning TV since waking up.

  “Megan? What’s wrong?”

  “Look!” Megan pointed at the screen.

  Dallas was confused by what she saw. There was a table with what appeared to be broken items like bottles and jars, tools, what looked to be an old revolver, several pairs of glasses. A voice was talking about the things laid out, and another voice was asking questions. The TV camera pulled back, and the lens panned onto two men, one holding a hand mike, and the other, a big and husky man with the wind riffling through his light-colored hair, was dressed in some close black rubber outfit, describing and explaining everything. They were outdoors, and in the background was the blurred and out of focus shimmering of a body of water.

  Dallas frowned. “What am I looking at?”

  “I saw Alex. Look …”

  The camera eventually pulled back even farther to include a third man. It was Alex, dressed in the same black garment. It was his turn to answer questions, and Dallas sat next to Megan. What became quickly obvious was that Alex and the other man were divers. The things spread out on the table in front of them had been retrieved from the rivers, inlets, bays, estuaries, and other coastal waters in and around New York.

  “How did this project begin?” the commentator asked.

  The first man began to answer.

  “That’s Ross,” Megan announced.

  “Who’s Ross?” Dallas asked.

  “He’s Alex’s friend. He’s really nice.”

  “… find a lot of stuff down there …”

  “No bodies, I hope,” the interviewer joked, but the man didn’t find the question amusing and skirted answering directly.

  “The rivers and ocean is a convenient place to dump a lot of things.”

  Dallas turned to look at Megan, who was still attired in an oversized T-shirt that served as a nightgown. Her long wavy hair was loose and tucked behind her ears. “How did you meet Ross?”

  “Alex comes to see me and Mom sometimes. One time he brought that other man. Ross. They’re best friends. Like you and Mom are best friends.”

  Dallas stared at the screen again. Alex had been seeing Valerie. Somehow, she knew she shouldn’t be surprised. But she had a peculiar reaction to the news. She struggled for a moment to identify it and finally settled on a sense of loss. The TV camera panned back and forth between Alex and Ross as they answered questions. Alex was serious and thoughtful with his answers. He didn’t display the easy smoothness of Ross, whom he deferred to, but he spoke with a surprising knowledge and expertise of diving. What he and Ross had salvaged from the waters was like an archaeological treasure trove of urban life.

  “Can we go and see them?”

  “See them? Where?” Dallas asked.

  “At the aquarium. All that stuff they found is on display. And Ross and Alex are going to be there to answer questions. Can we?”

  “I … don’t know,” Dallas murmured, knowing, however, that she wanted very much to find out more about what Alex did. “Have you finished your homework? I thought you wanted to interview me for one of your classes.”

  “I do. You answered all my questions. If I write it up real quick so you can see it, then can we go to see Alex and Ross?”

  Dallas grimaced, finding herself more and more interested in what the three men were discussing on TV, but giving her attention to Megan. “We’ll see. First you have to make up the pullout bed in my studio. Then we have to have breakfast. You have to finish your school report … I have to finish my article …”

  Megan got up abruptly from the sofa and ran out of the living room. “I can do that.”

  “I didn’t make any promises, Meg,” Dallas called after her.

  She then looked at the TV again. The interview ended, and after announcing that the special exhibit of river finds would continue at the aquarium through the end of the month, the male commentator turned the program back over to his studio.

  Dallas got up and headed back to her bedroom. But she hesitated in the hall, and detoured instead to the second room that she’d converted into an office/studio cum guest room. She leaned in the doorway, watching Megan search through a pile of jumbled items of clothing in her weekend tote.

  “You sure you want to spend the afternoon at the aquarium? I thought you wanted to have lunch at Planet Hollywood and go to a movie.”

  Megan sat back on her haunches and looked momentarily indecisive. She had a hair scrunchy on her wrist, as if it were a bracelet. She swept back her hair from her face and adroitly pulled a gathered ponytail through the elastic hair ornament. Megan nodded but lo
oked beguilingly at her godmother.

  “Yeah, I’m sure. But can we still do Planet Hollywood the next time I come to visit?”

  “Fine.” Dallas walked into her office and sat at her desk. She began to play with a novelty pencil, bent and shaped into an open heart, that someone had given her at a conference. “So, you really like Alex? Does he spend a lot of time with you and your mother?”

  Megan thought about it and shrugged. “Um, not really. He’s only been over a few times. Once Mom cooked dinner, but the other times the three of us went out to eat.”

  Dallas frowned at the pencil. She wasn’t sure she should ask any more questions. She felt peculiar wanting to know about the visits. “Sounds like it was fun.”

  “It’s okay. I like Alex. He’s really nice. But he and my mom talk about stuff I don’t understand. It’s kinda boring.”

  “Does … your mom like him a lot, too?” Dallas asked uncomfortably, aware that she was pumping her godchild for information.

  “Oh, yeah. She spends a lot of time getting ready when he’s coming over.” Megan chortled knowingly.

  Dallas nodded. Valerie had always taken the position that she never knew when a date might become more interesting. “You said that the other man, Ross, is Alex’s best friend?”

  Megan sighed, finally stopped her pubescent toiletry, and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Dallas. “Yeah. He’s really cool. He tells all these funny stories about when he and Alex were in the war.”

  “What war?” Dallas interrupted in surprise.

  Megan shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t remember. And he thinks Beavis and Butthead are stupid, too.” Her eyes brightened with excitement. “And he and Alex scuba dive! I think that would be really cool to do, but … I don’t even know how to swim.”

  Dallas smiled affectionately at the little girl. “I think that’s kind of important,” she agreed. “So, you like Ross, too?”

  Megan nodded enthusiastically. “He’s really neat.”

  “Ross comes over when Alex is there?”

  Megan scrunched up her face and tried to remember. “I think … only twice. I don’t think Mom likes him very much.”