Love me ... Again

by Beazer, Delka

  He is there when I come back to myself. Whispering soothing, soft words that resettle my mind as I reconnect with my spent body. I lay limp, my face fallen onto his stiff shoulders, my hands bunched in his hair.

  He gets to his feet and carries me along wrapped around his waist. He walks out into the wildflower meadows and its bittersweet scent hits me gently in the face, stirring me back to more life.

  He settles on his knees with me still in his arms, and rests his head against mine, “sweetie, I want to be inside you … that okay?”

  I’m still clenching from the aftermath of his fingers and I can only imagine the torture he must be enduring. And I hesitate … Jett. Oh no. What am I doing but even as I stiffen in his arms and he must feel my indecision. I can’t turn back. And I don’t want to. No matter what. I rock my butt-naked body on his lap, squeak as the bulge beneath my bottom jerks beneath me. All doubts flee as his finger on my mouth brings the light, musky scent of my orgasm wafting up into the air between us. It mingles with the pungent sweetness of the moist flowers all around us.

  He shakes his head, groans, “Naw, sweetheart, you got to say it. I need to know that you want this,” he urges gruffly.

  I rear back and meet his eyes, they are softly golden, liquid with vulnerability, “I do.”

  His nostrils flare but he doesn’t descend on me like I want him too. Instead a gentle thumb skims my swollen bottom lip as if he’s apologizing for being too rough earlier. Painstakingly he covers every inch of my lips, shivers begins to rack me again. My lashes grow heavy but I fight to keep them open. I simply cannot allow myself to miss these moments of watching him make love to me.

  His eyes become thoughtful, kind … filled with a desire so hot, the mound between my legs begins to throb afresh, pulsing with its own greedy heartbeat. I want Colt to fuck me and it’s a thought I don’t bother to question. It simply is.

  I press the soft pad of my lips to his rough fingertips which has settled in the center of my bottom lip, a drumbeat starts in my chest, making me swipe my dry tongue across my suddenly parched tongue, patience flies out the window, “Colt, please?” I rustle against him.

  He presses the pad of his fingers deep into my lips, shuts off my plea. “Fuck Angie, don’t push me so fast!” He snatches at my lips, sends short, rapid stabs of his tongue into my liquid mouth. Rearing above me he cups the back of my head in one large hand. His scent, earth, man and horse march through my blood replacing every cell with the aroma of him. A rush of frustrated tears scorches the back of my eyes.

  Dammit! If he would just hurry up!

  But he keeps on kissing me and he taste so good, that unwillingly I settle against him, let him have his way. His mouth leaves behind only the taste of him. It’s all I feel as he keeps touching me. It starts to break my heart. I crumble as tears begin to leak from my eyes in earnest.

  He stops and I wrap my arms around him, bawl my eyes out. He cups my crumpled face delicately in his rough hands, his eyes are stark with fear, “Am I causing you pain?” his voice is hesitant with regret.

  I gulp back a hysterical laugh. Causing me pain? More like rebranding my heart and destroying feelings that before him had been fixed. I shake my head mournfully, gulp, “no, no, that’s not possible,” I hiccup and try to smile through the tears that stubbornly refuse to stop falling down my cheeks.

  Colt’s eyes are still puzzled, he leans forward and kisses the tears from my cheeks, “What then?” he whispers still confused.

  “Because I can’t stop this thing I feel for you and … ” I stutter, and stop. Comprehension dawns in his eyes and guilt comes there.

  He gets up and tries to put me from him, but I cling on, “Don’t. It’s not what you want,” I say fiercely.

  He looks at me and my throat locks up, torment contorts his face, “I want you with every fiber of my being but-”

  “No!” I yell and stare daggers into him, “this is my decision. It’s MY body.”

  Colt snaps forward and I go rigid as the hot roughness of his tongue swipes around my nipple and sucks it down into the heat of his mouth, he swipes his rough tongue over my nipples, then zooms in hungrily on the center tugging my areola deep into the heat of his mouth.

  I rock and nearly zoom off his lap, his arms tighten around my waist, keep me pinned down, and I quake because he’s doubled-down and is tugging and nibbling harder on the center of my nipple.

  I tear at his hair, “Ahhh shit, Colt … Colt!” the hoarse cry erupts from my mouth, my back arches as far back as it will go, thrusting my chest right into his face, around his waist my legs quiver and tighten up. He sucks and tugs mercilessly at me, his finger dives between my legs again as he pulls me apart a second time. From somewhere I summon the will to shove his head away, his mouth releases my breast with a luscious pop, with his hair wet and plastered to his forehead and his eyes hazy with need. He looks like a bewildered, sensuous rake. He reaches down between us again and I watch his hand go to his jeans, unzip it and roll it down past his lean hips. The tower of him sits between us. With slow deliberation he lifts me up and plants me on top of him, eyes still locked, he lowers me onto him. I flinch at the first broad intrusion of him but there is no stopping. I grip my lip between my teeth as he sends me down slowly, completely onto him. I gasp and grip his shoulders as he ploughs through the flimsy buddle of nerves, breaks into me and settles himself deeply inside me. Submerged onto him, I jerk and it feels as if someone else takes me over because I begin to pulse and tighten around him, causing him to grunt and grip the globes of my buttocks in his hands, he grinds me hard onto him. I wince but can’t stop tightening over and over again around him. It feels as if he’s locked onto my soul. Beneath me his head thrashes from side to side as he starts to groan in earnest, his grip of my hips hardens and will leave bruises. He buries his head in the hollow of my neck, his hot, ragged breath sends scorches my skin. He pulls back, “ride me,” he commands.

  I roll my hips tentatively unsure of how exactly he wants me. He rears up and sends himself deeper inside me, his eyes on me are hard, “sweetheart, that’s for next time,” he bites out and he jerks up and slams me down onto him again and again. His hoarse breath lashes out and he grunts with satisfaction as he buries himself inside my heat, “Damn, this feels like paradise,” he rasps out.

  I hold on, letting my body guide me, he rears up and brings me under him onto the wet grass, the scent of wet flowers explode about my head as Colt plows down into me, his hands on my hips keep them off the ground as he anchors me in place for his rapid thrusts. I fling out my hands, to grasp onto something as every hard thrusts of his body drags him closer to me, making the next one harder and deeper. I moan and toss with abandon because as it all rips through me I know this is what I want, what I’ve wanted since the first time he touched me.

  Not satisfied with the absolute claiming of my body, he drops my legs and plants his hands on the side of my head, he reaches down and kisses me, mating our mouths, stoking me to higher heights which burst out of my mouth in feverish screams. It’s like a sword thrust right into the heart of my soul. I lift my hips into his with maddening ferocity, every breath a short scream of his name. He reaches his high before I do and pulls out, drags me back on top, eyes gleaming with pleasure he slaps me hard on the ass and bucks his hips upwards.

  I toss my head back, digs my heels in and ride him with complete abandon, I squeeze my eyes shut and savor the unstoppable slide of him through my body … another soft brush of rain splashes my face. The moisture only intensifies the upward thrust of his hot, hard body into mine. A scream starts to build at the back of my raw throat. It gathers steams as it barrels up from my core. It leaps from my mouth releasing an agony of sensations so incredible they take over my body. I writhe and pin down onto him as I implode with all delicacy of a thunderstorm. He rears up, sending my exhausted body high and several sharp thrusts later, he quivers and keeps thrusting, even as his hoarse moan drowns out the silences around us. I collapse onto him.
Our belly’s plaster together with rain and passion. His heart hammers against mine. Eyes closed, face sunk onto his warm, rippling chest I breathe shallowly. His own hot breathing scalds the nape of my neck and rises to meet the scents of the crushed bittersweet wildflowers which float like tiny angle wings beneath our bodies.

  Chapter nine

  Beep! Beep!

  I bolt from his warm chest and squint through the darkness for the source of the sound.

  He chuckles, skims my cheek with the back of his hard knuckles, “relax, it’s my phone.” Without dislodging me, he reaches over and rummages in the damp clothing he’d tossed aside, he pulls the phone out.

  A quick tap, “Yes?”

  “Colt!” Jett’s voice burst through and it’s hoarse with fear. I stiffen, his voice alone is enough to condemn me, Jett rushes on, “where the hell are you man?”

  The fear in Jett’s voice conveys itself to Colt, whose body stiffens beneath me. Hastily I get off of Colt’s lap, avoid his eyes which follow me as I reach for my clothes.

  Colt lunges to his feet a second later, his broad, naked back faces me as he takes Jett off of speaker phone and puts it to his ear.

  Seconds later he turns back and snatches up his clothes from the ground, he looks off into the distant, dark sky, “We’ve got to go now!” he says curtly and runs to his horse.

  I open my mouth to ask what’s the matter but swiftly decide against it. Unease churns in my stomach.

  We mount, I turn to him, worry eating at me, “what’s happened?”

  His face is white, bleached of all color, his eyes are pained as guilt bears down on him, “fire … lightning caused it,” he growls impatiently, he swings away from me as if he cannot look at me anymore. I gulp, fresh humiliation rushes through me. But I stiffen my back as I follow him out of the meadow and down the mountain side.

  The ride back is bone jarring. Colt lies flat above his horse as he urges the animal to reckless speed.

  Grimly, I set my teeth and fight to keep pace with him.

  He looks back at me only once, “Are you okay?” he shouts above the thunder of the horse’s hooves, I jerk my chin as I fight to keep pace with him.

  Dawn is tinting the sky as we make it back to the camp. But … it isn’t really dawn that’s solely responsible.

  As I gaze closer at the blush colored sky, horror sinks into me. Tongues of flame are licking upwards from between the trees all around the mountain side. Their magnetic iridescence radiates off the dark gray clouds which linger above and fly outwards with savage grace. As I watch, sparks of flames soar higher and higher down into the valley where the cattle are doing their clumsy best to dodge the painful missiles. Under their feet, wet burning grass is sending up plumes of pungent smoke causing further confusion.

  As I gape two groups of cattle dart off, running right towards the fiery mountain.

  Colt pulls his horse up sharply beside me, he pauses, reaches over and grasp my reins, “Come with me,” his eyes are hard.

  I look beyond his shoulder and see Jett, Michael, Marjorie and the ranch hands thick in the midst of the stampeding cattle, spurring their horses forward, desperately trying to get the cattle to turn back.

  Colt is headed straight for them, “No!” I gasp, shake my head.

  Colt eyes get harder, he doesn’t let go of my reins. He glares at me, “You’ll fucking chicken out now?

  I grasp at straws, will him to see beyond his own desires, “this … this isn’t the right time,” I stammer my mouth dry.

  Colt’s smile is harsh, he gaze rakes over my frightened face, “Don’t lie to me!” he snaps.

  I gulp, hang my head in humiliation. Colt is right. I can’t hide from this anymore. I nudge my horse forward. Satisfied Colt releases the reins. We gallop towards them.

  Jett sees us first. He comes over, his confused eyes go first to my face, then Colt’s, “Angie, where have you been?” Jett’s blue eyes are guileless and it hits me that he doesn’t suspect. Beside me Colt watches us with an unreadable expression.

  “I was with Colt.”

  Jett quirks a brow but he doesn’t seem to get it. The knot in my throat constricts cutting off my air, I lean towards him, his eyes are still mildly curious, he’s impatient to get back to rounding up the cattle and get to them out of danger is the number one priority, not my whereabouts. I reach for his hand but drop it midway, I don’t have the right to touch him anymore, I pull in a broken breath and blurt it out, “Colt and I were together,” I repeat and I wince as my words come out with a high squeak. Shame burns my cheeks much like the fire eating the trees alive.

  There is a startled, rough sound from Jett. The distraction falls away from his face and he stiffens up as his gaze cuts between Colt and me and back again. Each time our eyes connects, guilt drives deeper into my soul. The golden diamond on my finger bites into it.

  A roar … one sudden, yet expected rents the silence between us and everything is in motion. Jett charges Colt, Colt is not moving out of the way and I start to scream. The words coming out of my mouth make no sense because I just want them to stop!

  I kick into gear without taking time to think. I charge with breakneck speed towards the dangerously diminishing space between the two men. One thought overwhelms all others. I have to stop this.

  “Angie, stay back!” Colt barks, his eyes fixed on Jett.

  I don’t. I thrust the head of my horse, who rears and whinnies from my harsh handling between the two men.

  Jett’s horse rears up. Frustrated its steel clad hooves claw the space between us. He balances in the saddle like an acrobat, sticks a gloved finger across at Colt’s granite face. Jett’s eyes glitter with frustrated rage, “you fucking bastard!” his roar echoes around us, I turn at the intrusion of another sound and see with horror Marjorie riding up to us. Her face is impassive.

  She doesn’t waste words. Shooting a glance of disgust at each of her sons, she snaps, “What the hell is going on here? Are you idiots insane? We’re losing our herd and you’re fighting over a woman?”

  She gives me a long, telling look. I wince, satisfied she goes back to her sons, “Your woman can wait, the herd comes first!”

  Mortified I wish for instant annihilation. She’d known all along.

  Colt and Jett go around me and head towards her. She jerks her chin in the direction of the spreading herd, “We’ve got some groups streaking up into the mountains and another somewhere west of here,” her steely eyes fix on Colt, “Only you can find those.”

  Colt nods briskly, pauses and throws me a reassuring look, his mouth is grim but his eyes are determined. They say he will have me, come hell or high water. He speeds off toward the foot of the mountain. I watch him go towards the flames, and my heart begins to ache in my throat.

  “Follow him if you want!” Marjorie snaps behind me. She is telling me to choose now. I turn and start to do just that when Jett comes out of nowhere and blocks me.

  His eyes are circles of rolling fury, there is no love for me there on the surface. He snarls between clenched teeth, “You owe me an explanation,” he grinds out. The muscles in his jaw pulse and throb with caged emotions, he clicks his horse into a gallop, throws over his shoulder at me, “later.” The ominous words hang like trails of acid smoke behind him.

  Sorrow claws at me. I have chosen. I cry out after him, “I’m so sorry!”

  I stiffen as the words stop him, he pulls so hard on the reins of the horse, the animal pivots back. Its front hooves claw viciously at the air above him. Jett swings back to me, his mouth works but even with the yards between us his blue eyes are brilliant with pain and betrayal.

  He comes back to me, searches my burning eyes, “I love you,” his voice wavers and he sucks in a ragged breath to bring it back under his control. His eyes turns savage, shivers run down my spine as I see the uncanny resemblance between him and his brother, “I won’t let that go without a fight Angie,” he finishes coldly.

  I quiver under his withering eyes, f
ind my voice, “Jett … I’ve screwed up.”

  “Yes!” he roars, the raw sound reveals that beneath his stubborn pride, he is close to breaking down. The young, merry boy I’d fallen in love with during our Junior year stares back at me. His eyes are bright but not one tear drop falls, he shakes his head and gets himself back under control. When he looks up at me again, I wince in dismay, his words confirm my fears.

  “I won’t let you go,” he says again fiercely and rides off for real. Leaving me miserable and ripped apart. I open my mouth to say, it’s not your decision, but it’s useless, he won’t care and he won’t listen. God! What am I going to do?

  Marjorie comes up to me, her eyes are icicles, “I want you gone from my family the moment we get this herd under control,” her words feel like a dash of cold water.

  It’s another self-inflicted wound. Having her respect if not love would’ve been enough but there is no longer any chance of that. Still no one dictates my life. I hold her loathing look, “I’m sorry for what I’ve done but nobody’s gonna tell me what to do with my life.”

  She snorts, a contemptuous, derisive expression of exactly how she feels about me. Unexpectedly her ice blue gaze softens just a crack, “My sons are irresistible,” she says straight-faced. Her mouth turns bitter, “but you’ve hurt both of them. And they won’t share. They never have.”

  Her words are the last straw, they snap the flimsy thread of control I’m grasping on to. I turn from her, lash my horse and race away blindly. Yards fly away beneath me and belatedly the river grows up ahead as I follow a small herd of cattle heading towards the safest place on the valley floor.