Her Rebel Heart
Page 6
Her heart sank a little deeper in her chest as she stared at the berries. They didn't look quite as red or luscious as they had just a moment ago.
"A quart, miss?" the vendor asked.
Still, she wanted them. "Yes. Please."
She shifted her basket to the other arm and counted out the coins in her reticule. She had just enough so she handed the vendor the money. It was then out of the corner of her eye that she noticed a blue uniform. The man was standing straight and tall, just a few steps from her. A large, brass buckle with the letters U. S. wrapped his waist. He appeared to be watching her.
Images of Pratt Street raced through her mind. Her mouth went dry. She desperately tried to remember what color stockings she had put on before leaving the house.
Are they white? Yes. Simply white.
She tightened her grip on her basket and stared straight at the vendor. If I don't get in the soldier's way then he won't bother me.
The man handed her the quart of berries. Julia put them in her basket. She stole a peek in the soldier's direction. He was still watching her. A shiver ran through her. Her heart began to pound. She looked back at the vendor. She tried to smile.
"These berries will be delicious."
The man tipped his slouch hat. "Enjoy them, miss."
Julia dropped her reticule in the basket. She hoisted the heavy parcel higher on her arm. She turned.
The blue uniform stepped forward. Julia swallowed. Ears thudding, she took another step. He came up along side her.
The Federal soldier smiled at her. "Help you with that, miss?"
Julia did not smile back. By now, her heart was racing. "Thank you, no," she said. She hurried away from him, walking as fast as the heavy basket would allow. The pop, pop, pop of musket fire echoed in her ears as she mentally replayed that dreadful day at the station. The sight of blood-splattered cobblestones filled her memory. A thousand terrible images raced through Julia's mind and just as many petitions for protection.
Lord, please don't let that soldier follow me. Please don't let him!
She hurried on.
The market was crowded with people and items. It was difficult to get back to the street. A barrel of pickles with children clustered about it blocked the easiest route. Moving opposite, Julia rounded the corner where the chickens were sold. Their featherless bodies hung limply from a line strung across the stall. She peeked through them to see if the Federal soldier was following her.
He was coming in her direction.
Julia hoisted the basket and took off once more, only to run directly into the chest of another uniformed soldier.
"Excuse me!" she gasped, nearly dropping the basket.
He took hold of it. "Help you with that, miss?"
She could barely breathe. Lord, help me! "No. No, thank you."
He turned her basket loose and tipped his kepi as he stepped out of her path. "Good day."
The way to the street was clear. Julia walked as quickly as she could. The basket was cutting into her arm but she did not stop to shift its weight. All she wanted to do was get away from there.
Once she passed the market's perimeter she took off running, caring not by now if her petticoats or her stockings were showing. She kept running but the yards of dress fabric and her hoop made it impossible to keep up the pace for very long. Out of breath, arms and legs aching, she stopped in front of a ladies hat store. She glanced backward.
Neither of the soldiers had followed her.
She set the basket down taking a moment to rest. As the panic faded, the thought struck her that perhaps the men were only trying to be kind. Feeling foolish yet not wanting to take any chances, she picked up the basket. It was then that she noticed her prized strawberries had gotten crushed beneath a jar of honey. To make matters worse, the sticky red juice now stained Julia's dress.
Oh, no'¦
Feeling deflated, she trudged for home. She had just enough time to put away the groceries and set her dress to soaking before the prayer meeting.
"
The Federal soldiers were already setting up camp as Samuel left the seminary's main gate. Their canvas tents covered the center green and supply wagons choked the road all the way back to Mount Vernon.
Sam tried to think charitable thoughts concerning the men but it was difficult. Though his tenure here at Rolland Park was short, he had grown to love the place. He did not enjoy being driven from the grounds.
When he would return to pursue his life's vocation, he did not know. The only way he could console himself was the thought that at least now he could attend the prayer meetings on time.
He walked back home and deposited his books on the parlor table. After eating a quick meal of cornbread and buttermilk, he started off. He would be early for the meeting but Reverend Perry might have need of assistance in some way or another. Goodness knows Sam needed something to do.
As he passed by the Stanton home, Sam couldn't help but wonder what Julia was doing at the moment. He had given his word to the Lord that he would follow Him regardless of the cost but that promise didn't quell the ache in his heart. Julia was the only woman he had ever loved. He prayed for her unceasingly. He missed her even more.
He arrived at the church well before noon. Reverend Perry was happy to see him.
"Samuel, welcome! I thought you would not be able to join us until later."
He explained what had happened at the school.
"Dear me," Reverend Perry said. "I am sorry to hear that."
Sam knew it would do no good to dwell on the issue so he moved the conversation forward. "I would like to be of assistance if I may," he said. "I think the prayer meeting is a noble idea."
"Thank you, but I cannot take credit for it."
Reverend Perry explained that the idea for the noon meeting came from an event in New York City four years earlier. During a financial crisis, the city had experienced a laymen's revival.
"It was an interdenominational event," he said. "The churches were filled to capacity for months. Thousands came to know Christ."
"Do you believe such a thing could happen here in Baltimore?" Sam asked.
The Reverend's eyes were full of compassion. "For eternity's sake, I do hope so."
Sam's heart went out to the minister. The kindhearted man was trying his best to shepherd a divided flock where each side claimed to be the true sheep and the other, the goats.
"Where do we begin?" he asked.
"Your attendance and prayers are the most important," Reverend Perry said, "but there are a few other areas where I could use your help."
"Such as?"
"I have sent word to the other ministers of the city. Most seemed to appreciate the invitation. I am hoping for a higher attendance today, therefore, I had a bill of direction printed. Would you be kind enough to hand them out?"
"Of course."
"Would you be interested perhaps in doing something to engage our citizens outside of the church?"
"Certainly."
The Reverend smiled. "Thank you. I will speak more to you about that later."
Reverend Perry went to retrieve his handbills and Sam eagerly took his place in the foyer. It wasn't long before Julia arrived. She was wearing a yellow silk dress, trimmed in ribbons and lace. Sam thought she looked like a ray of sunshine. He couldn't help but smile.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, eyes wide with surprise. "Shouldn't you be at the seminary?"
The remark was not made because she felt pleasure at seeing him. "The Federal Army has need of our facilities."
Her jaw dropped. "They closed the school?"
"This morning."
"Oh, Samue
l'¦"
She laid her hand gently on his forearm. Sam willed his heart to beat a normal rhythm.
"I am so sorry."
Concern laced her voice and compassion showed on her face. Sam appreciated the emotion but he did not want her to worry.
"We will relocate. It will just take a little time."
She evidently mistook his words for indifference and the warmth fled from her eyes. "Is there nothing they can do to offend you?" She asked.
"They haven't closed us down. They only want the building."
"And what else will they want, Samuel?"
Before he could answer she turned on her heel, her hoop and skirts swishing like a giant bell as she strode away.
"
She walked to her family pew. Inside she was fuming. The Federal Army has commandeered his school, effectively ending the work he loves and all he can do is smile and hand out prayer bulletins?
She wondered what he would have said if she had told him about the soldiers at the market this morning. Would he have been concerned for her safety or would he have simply smiled and acted as though nothing was wrong?
I don't understand him at all! Slavery doesn't even concern us! The real trouble is right outside our door.
She took a seat beside her mother and father and waited. The room was hushed with reverent stillness. She tried to use the time to rein in her focus, to think about what she was really here for.
After a few moments her emotions stilled. As the hands on her father's pocket watch neared twelve, Julia heard the sounds of footsteps and polite whispers. Curious, she discreetly glanced about.
To her surprise, the attendance was growing. There were people seated that she did not know. Sally and her father were there as well.
She smiled at Julia.
More people have come! Oh, thank You, Lord.
Reverend Perry stepped to the pulpit and began the service. "Please turn to hymn number sixty in your Christian Songster."
Julia stood with the others. A gentleman that she did not recognize readied the pipe organ and the singing began.
I want to have wisdom that comes from above,
I want my heart filled with the purest of love;
I want my faith stronger, my anchor hope sure,
And like a good soldier, all hardness endure.
As the lines from the stanza passed out of her mouth she thought of Edward. What hardness was he now enduring? She prayed God would give him strength.
I want to be stripped of all human pride,
All malice and anger, I would lay aside;
From sin and from bondage I want to be free,
And live, my dear Savior, live only to Thee.
Julia meant the words she sang. Truly she did. But how to go about implementing them, she was not sure.
Lord, help me act in a way that pleases You. I want to do Your will.
When the hymn was over Reverend Perry read a few requests. There were several members who wished to pray for the salvation of their loved ones. As Julia listened to the heartfelt pleas ascending around her, both her heart and conscience were stirred. She, too, wanted to show Christian love, concern for her fellow countrymen.
Show me what to do. Show me how I may honor and serve You.
The congregation prayed for about an hour. When the meeting concluded the members broke into groups, visiting momentarily before departing. Sally came to see her.
"Julia, will you come? The Reverend wishes to speak with us."
"Oh? What about?"
"I don't know. He only said it was important."
Julia followed her to the front of the church where Reverend Perry was waiting. He smiled broadly.
"Ladies, thank you for coming. The service is growing."
"Indeed," Sally remarked.
"I was reminded today, though, that there are others who may wish to join and yet cannot do so. Others still who may be afraid of entering the church. I wondered if you would be interested in an avenue of service."
"Certainly," Julia said. The Lord was obviously answering her prayer. She just didn't know yet where He was leading.
The Reverend explained that he wished to demonstrate Christ's love to the citizens of Baltimore in a simple, practical way. "To those who pass by on the street."
"You mean like a cup of cold water?" Sally asked.
"Yes!" he said enthusiastically. "Or perhaps a slice of bread and jam? I know for a fact that each of you bakes wonderful bread."
The women looked at each other and smiled.
"We can set up a table by the sidewalk and distribute the items. Hopefully we can draw people inside the church. And you ladies would not be unattended. You would be properly chaperoned. Can I count on your assistance?"
It sounded like everything she was looking for. It was a simple way to show kindness to the people of her city, to help brighten the darkness this war had brought.
And if we are to be chaperoned I need not worry about Federal soldiers.
"Of course," Julia said. Sally pledged to serve, as well.
"Wonderful," said Reverend Perry. "Here is what we will do."
He determined a time to meet and the ladies decided what baked goods they would bring. "I will have one of our gentlemen furnish a table and fill the water barrels."
Julia was pleased. If there was one thing she could do well, it was bake bread and make jam. No politics or disagreements could invade.
Chapter Five
Sam had promised Julia that he would not visit her home or sit in her family pew, but that would not keep him from serving the Lord. When Reverend Perry asked for his assistance with the bread table, he could hardly say no.
He had found a table in the cellar, then carried it to the edge of the churchyard. He gathered the water barrels and filled them high.
While he worked, he prayed. He prayed for his city, his seminary and his best friend. But, above all, he prayed for Julia.
Lord, You know I love her and I still believe You mean for us to be together. I want to do Your will. I want Julia to find Your will for her life. But if that means we must go our separate ways, then please give me the strength to accept Your plan.
He wondered how she would respond when she found out they would be working together. He hoped the interaction would lead to opportunities to prove that his intentions were good.
Give me the words to say to her, Lord, and the grace to respond as You would.
"
Julia had baked two loaves of bread and turned the mashed strawberries from the market into mouthwatering jam. As she prepared for the prayer meeting that day, an excitement pulsed through her veins. It was a feeling she had not experienced since before the beginning of the war.
Lord, thank You for this opportunity. Thank You for giving me a way to make a difference.
She arrived at church well before noon. The table was ready and the water barrels were waiting.
"It appears everything has been prepared," her father said.
"Indeed." With eagerness, Julia set her tray of bread and jam on the table.
Her father peered into one of the barrels. "They are filled to the brim."
"That is good."
They would need to be. The day was going to be warm. The late May sunshine was strong. Already heat rose in ripples from the cobblestone.
Sally and her father pulled up in their surrey at that moment. She hurried to where Julia was waiting. She, too, looked eager to begin.
"I made lemon tea bread," she said.
"Wonderful!" said Julia. "Everyone that passes by will want a slice."
"I do hope so."
The traffic on the street, both foot and carriage, was light, yet the women knew it would increase once the noon bell rang.
>
"Julia, you have no cups or ladles," Mrs. Stanton noticed. "I'll fetch them."
"And I'll see to it that the gentleman scheduled to assist you knows that you both have arrived," her father said. "Thank you."
Her parents climbed the church steps. The moment the front door shut, Sally reached into her pocket.
"Before someone else joins us'¦I have news. Stephen sent a letter."
Julia gasped, immediately abandoning the bread and jam. It was the first communication that they'd had with their loved ones since their departure. "When did it arrive?"
Sally handed it over. "This morning. They are in Virginia, although he did not say exactly where."
"They don't want to take any chances on the information falling into the wrong hands." Julia unfolded the letter carefully. Stephen wrote of regimental drilling and of Virginia farmland hospitality. Her heart then soared. "He is with Edward!"
"Yes," Sally said happily. "Tent mates. Isn't that wonderful?"
"Indeed."
When Stephen mentioned chess matches and Edward's snoring, Julia had to laugh. "I am so pleased that they are together."
"Yes. They can look out for one another. Oh, Julia, I was so relieved to hear from him. I pray that you will hear from Edward soon."
"You must promise to bring the letter to me as soon as it arrives."
"I will. You have my word."
Julia smiled. "I cannot wait to tell Mother and Father."
The church door creaked. She quickly gave back the precious news and Sally slipped it in her pocket.
My brother is safe, Julia thought. Thank You, Lord.
"
Sam drew in a deep breath and started down the steps. Sally saw him before Julia did.
"Samuel!" she said, smiling with pleasant surprise. "Are you assisting us today?"
"I am."
Julia turned, her face draining of all color. He wanted to laugh. He couldn't help it. She looked as though she had just been caught in a traitorous act. Sam decided to make it known that he had seen the letter. After all, he too was eager for news.