Kink Aware (Kiss of Leather Book 9)

by Morticia Knight

  After they’d made it through the reception area and were being led by a host sub to their table, Ray’s legs began to shake and his mind blanked. He couldn’t remember whether his final decision to offer his submission to Cruella would be right away when he reached the table, or if he should wait until after dinner. He swiped at beads of sweat forming at his hairline while his vision was still adjusting to the dim lighting.

  They arrived at a large, crescent-shaped booth. “Here you go.” Their host waved his hand, gesturing for them to take a seat, while clutching a pile of menus in the other. “The rest of your party will be here momentarily.”

  Ray blinked several times, surveying his surroundings then watching as Neal and Liam sat while unable to move himself. Neal paused when he reached the middle of the curve and glanced up.

  “Dude. Something wrong?”

  Ray swiped at his forehead again as he noted how crowded, dark and noisy the eating area was. In addition, mellow trance beats played in the background. If he kneeled in the aisle, it would be annoying for the staff and other patrons. Not only that, but Cruella wouldn’t be able to hear the heartfelt speech he had planned. Maybe if we got a table? He observed a few subs kneeling next to their Masters while being fed by them, but they were in a separate section and those tables already seemed to be filled.

  “Ray? Talk to me.”

  He whipped his head around to face his friend, then leaned down. “Hey, can I borrow Liam for a sec?”

  Neal darted his gaze to his sub. “Are you okay with that?”

  Liam nodded. “Anything to help.”

  Ray noted the slight quirk of Neal’s eyebrow. “Safeword if you have to.”

  “Yes, Master. I will.”

  Liam slid from the booth and to Ray’s astonishment and—judging from his expression—Neal’s, Liam clasped his hand. “My safeword is red, so if I say it, just bring me back here. Come on, I know somewhere we can go that won’t be as noisy.”

  As Liam tugged on him, Ray followed, peering over his shoulder at Neal, who shrugged. Ray lowered his gaze, not due to the sub-bug grabbing hold but so he wouldn’t catch Cruella’s eye until he’d had the chance to speak with Liam alone. He figured they’d be arriving any minute.

  Liam led him through the dining area, past the bar and down a long hall. He paused when they’d traveled half the length of the corridor then let go of Ray’s hand.

  “This should be good. Cruella won’t be able to see down this far. If you were a member, we could go to the sub changing area, but I think this is okay. The only people who usually pass through here are headed to the restroom. So, you have an idea?”

  Ray was tempted to comment how he’d never realized how sneaky Liam was, but didn’t want to press his luck. “I do, but I don’t know how things are run around here well enough. It might not be possible.”

  “I’ll do whatever I can to help. What is it?”

  “Well, I’ve been working through what I want to say to them—like we discussed—and how I want to put that into action, but it’s too awkward where we’re seated. Not only that, but… I dunno. It doesn’t feel like it’ll be enough. At least not to me.”

  Liam nodded. “So, what did you come up with?”

  Ray winced. “Do you think Derek, or whoever’s in charge, would let me go up on the stage area where Taro did his demonstration? Then I could invite them up there with me. If they’ll agree to it, that is.” Huge potential for embarrassment if I’m shot down.

  Liam’s mouth formed a small ‘O’. “That’s perfect! You stay here. I’ll go tell Master. He can ask Master Derek. Then, we can do it so Cruella goes up first, then you go up and surprise them!”

  “Oh?” Ray considered Liam’s idea, picturing the scenario in his head. It was a tad more involved than he’d imagined, but Liam’s way sounded better. “Yeah, I like it. Great plan.”

  Liam grinned. “I think so.” He stretched his neck, peering past Ray. “Ooh, stay here. They all just arrived.”

  Ray’s gut tightened, and he made sure to keep his back to the entrance. His mouth had suddenly gone dry so all he could do was nod.

  After Liam scurried away, Ray did his best to appear casual as he leaned against the wall by himself in the hallway. A stacked hunk, all decked out in silver-studded leather gear, strolled past and gave him an interested appraisal. Ray had a moment of panic then remembered he was clasping his wrist out of nerves. He let go then held up his right hand that sported the bracelet announcing he was a guest and off-limits. They guy’s shoulders slumped a bit, but he gave Ray a quick dip of his chin then kept going.

  Focus on Cruella, focus on Cruella. No one else mattered. He wasn’t there to impress anyone. I’m here to keep from losing the one I love.

  Ray started at the sound of Liam’s voice.

  “Master Derek is about to make the announcement.”

  “Wait, what? What sort of announcement?”

  Liam grinned. “You’ll see.”

  “Uh, hold up. I don’t know what’s going on.”

  Liam held his hand up in front of his mouth as his smile grew wider. “Neither does Cruella. I think Master already worked something out with Master Derek.”

  Neal is toast. “Are they upset? Shit. Maybe they didn’t want all this attention.” Ray scrubbed his face with both hands. “Liam, I can’t fuck this up, I can’t.”

  Liam took his hand again. “Just close your eyes and take deep, slow breaths. I promise everything will be okay.”

  Ray gaped at Liam. Where did this guy come from and what did he do with Neal’s sub?

  “Go on, Ray. Try it.”

  He sighed then did as Liam said. After a couple minutes he discovered that while his heart still raced, he no longer felt as if he were going to burst out of his skin. Right as he was about to open his eyes anyway, they flew open at the sound of a booming voice over the sound system.

  “Good evening everyone, I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves.”

  Derek.

  “I have a couple announcements. First off, the dance floor will be available at nine this evening and we have a special guest DJ who’s visiting us from New York’s world famous fet club, Chain. But right now, I want to welcome a new friend who’s about to begin their training as a Dom in the coming year. They’re new to the scene, and for those of you who don’t know me, I’m Derek, one of the Kiss of Leather partners. If you already belong to the club, I don’t need to explain to you how seriously we take how our members treat each other. If you disrespect, threaten or criticize a fellow member for whatever reason, you’re gone. If you have a genuine concern, then we have a system in place to contact us directly with whatever your issue is, so we can discuss it. Otherwise, we don’t want to hear about it.”

  Derek seemed to take a moment to let his words sink in. His serious stance softened as he smiled before continuing. “However, the main reason I came up here tonight was to introduce you to our new Dominant-in-training. We haven’t had any new Tops sign up in a while, so I’m sure a lot of subs will be anxious to get a glimpse of who will soon be joining the ranks.”

  Ray tensed. No fucking way. He’d better not be talking about Cruella.

  “Would everyone please give a warm welcome to Cruella!”

  Ray’s jaw dropped as the room filled with applause. His gaze traveled to where they sat and he thought he could detect their shock at being called up as well. He’d wanted them to go on stage so he could demonstrate his submission to everyone, but not like that. Not with Derek talking about how great they were and alerting every sub in the room that they’d be available. That hadn’t been the plan at all.

  Dammit. Shame filled him at his own selfishness, at his instinct to take control of the scene again, to make it go according to his will.

  Liam tugged on his arm. “It’s not easy to submit to someone, Ray. But if that’s what you truly want, then I’d make my move now.” Liam pointed to a table of young men in a roped-off section. “See those guys? Some of them have been
members for months now, and I know that at least two of them have been searching for a Top and haven’t met anyone they’ve clicked with yet.”

  Ray’s eyes widened as one of them whispered to the other, then they both giggled and fanned themselves.

  “Oh, hell no.”

  Right as Cruella climbed the couple of steps leading to the portable stage, Ray rushed forward. Plans be damned, he just needed to get to Cruella before anyone else did.

  As he stumbled over an unoccupied chair, Cruella began to speak, “Thank you, Master Derek. I wasn’t expecting to come up here tonight, but I appreciate the warm welcome. I’m looking forward to beginning my training at your excellent club.”

  “Wait!”

  Everyone went silent and Cruella almost dropped the mic as they locked eyes with him. They handed it back to Derek and moved toward him.

  No, no, no. I want everyone to see, to prove that I can submit to them in front of everyone.

  Before Cruella reached the steps, Ray fell to his knees. He lowered his head and clasped his elbows behind him the way Liam had shown him. The urge to check Cruella’s reaction was so palpable, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself. But he didn’t. He was determined to give Cruella control.

  The second Cruella’s hand rested on his head, the warmth of their touch became a balm that soothed him, fixed the part of him that had been broken ever since Cruella had walked away. In that moment, no club existed, none of their friends or strangers watched them—there was only Cruella and the hope that it wasn’t too late to start again.

  Cruella’s voice sounded next to his ear. “Thank you for your submission. I accept.”

  Ray choked on a sob, his lips quivering as tears dropped onto his shirt. But he wouldn’t wipe them away, wouldn’t raise his head, wouldn’t do a goddamned thing until Cruella gave him permission. Even the speech he’d practiced all day wouldn’t come to mind.

  “Look at me.” Cruella encouraged him to lift his chin with one finger. “Someone’s been a very naughty boy. Are you ready for your punishment?”

  Ray smiled through his tears. “Yes. Please punish me. I’m yours however you want me.”

  Derek’s voice echoed in the background, something about the new Dominant already being off the market, but Ray didn’t care.

  All his focus was on Cruella.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Cruella had expected to find Ray at Kiss of Leather, had been looking forward to getting the chance to speak with him. However, being introduced on stage to the club members hadn’t been on their list of possibilities for the night.

  They glanced sideways at Ray as he drove them toward his place. Their hands were still joined and resting on the center console, Ray tracing his thumb over Cruella’s skin as he stared ahead. From the moment Ray had kneeled for them in front of the entire club, all they’d wanted was to keep physical contact, to touch him the way they’d feared they never would again.

  “Did you need anything else before we get to the apartment? Anything at all, just tell me. Whatever you want.”

  Cruella laced and unlaced their fingers together. It’ll take time to find the balance. “I’m fine, baby. Don’t worry, I’ll always let you know. But the bag I brought is fine.”

  In a burst of wishful thinking, they’d packed an overnight bag. They hadn’t expected such a dramatic gesture on Ray’s part, only an indication that he understood why they’d had to take a break. If nothing else, Ray had gone a long way toward easing a big part of Cruella’s concerns by not hesitating to kneel before them in public.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Cruella continued to twine their joined fingers over and over, hoping they could somehow ease Ray’s tension. “I know you are, hon. One of the things I learned from Neal was that if we do a punishment scene, then we discuss what the punishment is for and exactly what it entails. If you agree, then once it’s done, it’s done for good. No need to keep saying you’re sorry. We move forward.”

  “Then you might have to punish me for still saying I’m sorry anyway.” Ray cringed. “I feel so fucking bad about everything.”

  Cruella squeezed Ray’s hand, putting enough strength in it to give their words additional veracity. “I don’t want that. Like we discussed before, figuring out this added dynamic to our relationship is new for both of us.” Cruella brought their joined hands to their lips and kissed his knuckles. “I’m excited about all the possibilities for us, aren’t you?”

  Ray smiled at them before returning his attention to the road. “Yeah. I really am.”

  He chewed at the corner of his mouth and Cruella sensed there was more he wanted to say.

  “Hon? I don’t want what happened between us to keep you from sharing your thoughts and feelings with me, no matter what they are. I hope I can gain your trust, that you’ll feel safe enough to confide in me.” Cruella tucked the curtain of hair that covered Ray’s face behind his ear. “The groove we have is amazing. Don’t doubt that for a second.”

  “I won’t hold back, I promise.” He swallowed hard. “But this is something I should tell you when I’m not driving.”

  Cruella joined their hands again. “Then I’ll look forward to arriving at your place.”

  They drove the rest of the short journey to Ray’s apartment in silence and Cruella’s thoughts drifted to what they wanted to say too. After Ray had kneeled for them, they’d spent at least five minutes kissing and holding each other in the same hallway Ray had abruptly appeared from. They’d both agreed that staying and having dinner with everyone would be impossible—that they needed to be alone immediately—so after thanking their friends and telling them good night, they’d left. There hadn’t been much of an opportunity for them to decide what to share with Ray, either.

  How about what I’d planned to say the last time we were together? They glanced sideways at him and their heart swelled. How could I not tell him?

  A few minutes later they arrived, and Ray grabbed their bag for them after asking permission to do so. That one, tiny gesture told Cruella so much when it came to Ray’s sincerity, his commitment to not automatically assuming Cruella was helpless and needed Ray to save them. At the same time, they could also admit they were overly sensitive after Tucker’s endless broken promises and lip service.

  As they made their way upstairs, Ray offered his free hand to Cruella, and they gladly accepted.

  “I was worried about you over the Thanksgiving holiday.” Ray’s forehead creased as he regarded them once they reached his door. “Were you alone?”

  Cruella cleared their throat. Socializing and eating piles of food had been the last thing they’d wanted to do. “Heath tried to convince me to hang out with him and his buddies who get drunk and order Chinese every year, but I wasn’t in the mood. You?”

  Ray gave them a one-shouldered shrug. “I wasn’t in the mood to socialize either.”

  As Ray pushed the key in the lock, Cruella stepped closer, crowding him. They pressed their frame against Ray’s back then whispered next to his ear, “Next year we won’t have to worry about that.”

  Ray whirled around, dropping their bag, his words tumbling out. “I love you.”

  He pulled Cruella into his arms, his embrace both strong and gentle. Before he had the chance to speak again, Cruella placed their scarlet red-tipped fingernail over his lips.

  “I love you too, baby.” They removed their finger. “Now you can kiss me.”

  “Angel…”

  Ray smashed their lips together, clutching them to his body, running his palms up and down their back as he plunged into their mouth with his tongue. Cruella cradled his cheek with one hand and grabbed his ass with the other, tasting the sweetness of Ray’s mouth that they’d missed so much and now knew they could never be without. They battled for dominance over the kiss, the exchange no different in its desperation from they one they’d shared at the club.

  “Baby…”

  Cruella touched their forehead to Ray’s as they fought to catch their b
reath. Their dick throbbed and strained against the tight confines of the only pair of leather pants they owned, the supple, metal-gray garment a stunning contrast to the burgundy, crushed velvet fitted shirt they had picked out especially for the hoped-for reunion. Ray ground his erection against Cruella’s and they were reminded that part of their evening’s plans would include Ray’s punishment.

  Cruella gave him one last deep kiss, then turned him around and smacked him on the butt. “Inside.”

  As he hurried to do their bidding, Cruella at last felt as though Ray was calming down a bit. Part of them regretted leaving him to his own devices for the past couple weeks—especially after hearing Neal talk about a Dominant’s responsibility to their sub. While they hadn’t begun officially training yet, they had signed a contract with Ray. More than anything, the time apart had been important to gain some perspective on what it meant to top a man. Neal had been a great resource for them during the separation. They now had a clearer picture of what a true Dom/sub relationship was like.

  Ray brought their bag inside, setting it down before turning on the kitchen light, followed by the floor lamp in the living room.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” His eyes widened. “Oh God. You haven’t eaten yet, either.”

  Cruella sidled up to him and wrapped their arms around his neck. “You know how I am when it comes to food, hon. But, I’ll confess, I’ve been learning a more formal thing or two about being a Dominant while we were separated. When’s the last time you ate?”

  They lowered one hand and dragged the ends of their pointed fingernails over the soft fabric covering Ray’s ass. Even if they weren’t officially starting a scene yet, they could still prime him for it. Cruella bumped hips with Ray. Oh yes. He’s quite primed.