“Rachel. For heaven’s sake, how can you possibly say such a thing? These days, you make me question why I ever married you. You’re so cold and bitter,” her father-in-law spat back.
Lauren waited, her whole body shaking with outrage. She tried to calm herself down, wishing she had the energy to claw into Rachel. Her hand was on the doorknob, ready to fight when she heard Connor clear his throat.
“Rachel, you can leave now,” Connor said, and when his mother started to protest, he growled, “No! We’ve already had this conversation once. It’s time for you to go. Just so we set the record straight here, Lauren didn’t do anything on purpose. I slept with her, it was my idea. I was the one who didn’t suit up. Not her. If anyone is at fault here, it’s me. I prayed from that moment on that I’d get the chance to have babies with her. Pretty fucked up when a grown man prays that his own screw up gets a girl pregnant, but I don’t regret it for one second. I have no desire to hear anything else you have to say. Give me my son and get out.”
“Bill, say something,” Rachel urged.
“You brought this on yourself, Rachel. I’m not going to defend your actions, now or ever. I think it’s best if we leave,” his father thundered.
Lauren heard shuffling on the other side of the door, and had to try and bite back the sobs that she had been fighting for the past few minutes.
“Son, I’ll give you a call later. I’m going to take your mother home. I apologize for her behavior.”
Connor remained silent as his parents left.
Her hospital room door clicked before Lauren cracked open the bathroom door.
“You can come out babe. They’re gone,” he reassured her.
She shuffled out of the bathroom and straight into her husband’s arms, crying. It only took a second, but Max started wail too.
“Probably hungry again. Can you get me the pillow?” She offered Connor a weak smile as she made her way to the bed, wiping her tears away as she moved.
She gently climbed back into bed and positioned herself so that she was ready when Connor handed her the baby. He sat at the foot of her hospital bed and watched her intently with a grin on his face.
“I’m sorry about your mom. I hate that she doesn’t like me,” she whispered.
“That’s her issue, not yours. I like you just fine, I really don’t care what anyone else thinks.” His tone was matter of fact when he answered, hiding his own displeasure with his mother. Inside he was furious. He tried to give Rachel an opportunity to redeem herself after their spat in New York, but after the things he heard her say about Lauren, he didn’t want to have anything to do with her.
“Can you believe he’s finally here? I mean who would have thought, right?” She gazed down at the baby lying in her arms in an attempt to steer the conversation elsewhere.
“Pretty amazing, Princess.” He moved closer as Lauren began burping their son. “It’ll be nice to get the two of you home and be back in our own bed though. Don’t get me wrong, there is no place I’d rather be, but they sure don’t make it very comfy for us dads.”
Lauren finished burping Max, and then cuddled him close. “I can’t wait to go home either. I miss Eliot like crazy. I seriously hope they let us go tomorrow. Two days feels like more than enough time.”
“Lauren, listen, about Eliza…” Connor swallowed hard, circling back to his mother’s words.
“Is this something I should hear about? Is it important?”
“No, it was a failed attempt by my mother to drive a wedge between you and me.” He sighed, amazed that his wife had that much faith in him.
“Then it’s not important. I trust you,” Lauren reiterated.
The next morning, the doctors discharged both Lauren and Max during their rounds. Connor took care getting them home and in the house.
She settled on the couch while Connor went to get her bags and her breastfeeding pillow from the car. She hadn’t expected to feel this exhausted from something as simple as leaving the hospital, but truth be told, she was wiped out and in pain. She desperately hoped she’d be able to enjoy a hot shower and her own bed at least for a few minutes. The sound of Max screaming his head off told her that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon though.
“I think he’s hungry again,” Connor said. He had just walked in when his son started cry. Taking Max out of his car seat, he handed him to Lauren. “You okay?”
“Tired and sore,” she grimaced as Max latched on to eat.
“I…uh…had Riley do a little redecorating for me. When you ended up having to have a C-section, I thought the stairs might be a little tough for you, so our master suite is now through there.” He pointed in the direction of his office.
“Your office is in there though.”
Connor shrugged. “I planned on making it a guest room at some point. There’s a brand new and amazingly comfortable mattress in there, and I had some of the guys from a construction crew I’ve been working with come over and remodel the bathroom in there. I wanted to surprise you. His bassinet is in there too.” Thankfully, his old office hadn’t needed much work, and his crew was able to work quickly.
Lauren fought back the tears. “Thank you,” she sniffled. “I’m ashamed to say that I was terrified of climbing up those stairs. This should make life easier.”
“When you’re ready, we can move back into the master suite upstairs, but there isn’t any rush to do that.”
After their son was fed, burped, and changed, Connor helped Lauren across the living room to their temporary bedroom. While she paused to sit on the bed, he laid the sleeping baby in his bassinet.
“Those are beautiful, Connor. Thank you,” Lauren nodded toward the fresh roses on the nightstand.
“Anything for you. Let’s get you in the shower.”
“As bad as I want a shower, I don’t even think I have the energy. I want to crawl into bed, take my meds, and sleep.”
Connor helped her get settled and handed her some water, along with her pain meds. As soon as she was comfortable, he crawled in beside her, watching her as she fell into a peaceful slumber.
Lauren was still asleep when her parents arrived the next morning after staying at a hotel the night before. Connor had been up for about an hour with Eliot and had taken Max into the living room with them to allow Lauren to sleep a little longer after the baby’s last feeding.
When she woke up, she could hear her mom cooing over her newest grandson.
Taking in a deep breath, she tried to hold back her tears. Out of nowhere, she was overcome with emotion and unable to stop thinking about the little boy she had lost. Had things worked out differently, she’d have a teenager, a son in his last years of elementary school, and a newborn living under her roof. These were the same emotions she went through after Eliot had been born, but they felt much rawer now.
With Eliot, she didn’t have the time to grieve, nor was she allowed to under Kyle’s rule. She was too busy taking care of a newborn and trying to be Kyle’s perfect wife. This time was different though, because she shared a baby with the same man whom she shared the loss with. Tears were still streaming down her face when Connor tiptoed into their room.
“Hey, Princess. What’s wrong?” Concern laced his voice.
“Just thinking,” she sniffled.
“About…?” he pried a little more.
“Our baby,” she lamented. “He would have been a teenager,” she whispered.
Connor remained silent for a few minutes as her words sank in. “He would have been.” She didn’t miss the tears in his eyes as he spoke. “It’s okay to miss him, Princess. I think it’s understandable that having Max would bring it all back to the surface.”
“It’s hard not to wish things were different, but if I did that, I could be wishing away Eliot—Lord knows that little boy has made my life much brighter.”
“As hard as it is to admit this, I think in some unknown way, things have worked out the way they should have. The heartache and all.”
&
nbsp; “Everything happens for a reason, I guess,” Lauren whimpered.
Wrapping his arms around her, Connor held her close, allowing her to grieve.
When her tears finally stopped, she whispered, “I do love you.”
“I love you too, Princess.”
Once she felt like she had regained her composure, they emerged from the bedroom and joined their family in the living room. Her parents greeted her with warm hugs before her dad handed her Max, who was starting to fuss. While Lauren got comfortable and fed the baby, her mom bustled into the kitchen to make a hearty breakfast for everyone.
Max’s first week of life seemed to pass by in a blur.
Getting him to his first doctor’s appointment was an adventure, especially for Lauren who was still sore from her C-section. The pediatrician confirmed that their little boy was a piglet, gaining seven ounces since leaving the hospital. After they left the pediatrician, Connor drove Lauren to her own check-up where Doctor Leon removed her staples, as she tried not to scream.
“For the record, that shit does not tickle,” she informed her husband as they made their way back to the car.
“I’ll take your word for it.”
By the time they made it home, all three of them were exhausted. Thankfully, Lauren’s parents had offered to stay in town longer and could take care of Eliot’s needs, allowing Max, Lauren, and Connor to rest that afternoon.
Amy and Riley stopped by to spend time with their favorite nephews for a bit the next day. Eliot was excited to play with his friends and immediately took off outside with Avery and Jason, while Adalyn stuck close to her parents, carefully studying the ‘new baby’. Every time she saw Max, she made a funny expression. It was clear she hadn’t decided if she liked this new creature or not. However, when they got ready to leave, she began crying and chanting, “My, my, my,” over and over, pointing at Max.
“Oh shit,” Riley chuckled. “She thinks the baby is hers,” he laughed harder, grabbing his stomach and trying to catch his breath.
Lauren peered at Connor, horrified and worried. All he could do was smirk and reply, “Told you so.”
Amy shrugged and offered Lauren a weak smile, unable to think of anything to say.
Lauren burst into tears.
“Princess,” Connor tried to calm her down. “It’s okay. Honey, it’s just a joke.”
“She can’t have him. He’s my little boy,” she whined, fully aware that she was making herself appear crazy, and completely overreacting to a situation that would otherwise be funny.
“All right, mother hen. I think it’s time we take our little heartbreaker and her older brothers home.” Amy gave Lauren a hug. “Relax bestie, before you make the pregnant girl cry.”
Avery and Jason followed behind their father, who had thrown Adalyn over his shoulder as she threw a fit. “We’ll bring her back another day once she learns she can’t start claiming boys,” Riley called out.
Connor shut the door and faced Lauren. A smirk playing at his lips, but he tried to hold back the laughter that threatened to spill over. “You gonna be okay there, Princess?”
“Do not laugh at me, Connor Matheson,” Lauren demanded, wiping away her tears. “Fucking hormones,” she mumbled.
“Oh babe, come on.” He kissed her on the forehead. “You have to admit the way she claimed him was a little cute.”
Maybe it would have been cute if they were older, but Adalyn managed to strike fear into her auntie with one measly word. How dare the little stinker lay claim on Max? “She used to be my favorite niece,” she hiccupped.
He couldn’t help but chuckle. “You still love her. Plus, think of how adorable our grandchildren would be.”
“Oh God,” she groaned, slowly distancing herself from him. “For the record, I hate you for saying that.” It was those grandchildren that she didn’t want to think about. She didn’t want to think about Max growing up and leaving her for a girl. She knew it would happen in the blink of an eye, but that didn’t mean she wanted to think about it when he was still an infant.
“Come on, let me feed you some dinner. Then maybe you won’t be so hangry,” Connor joked.
She stuck out her tongue and got comfortable in the recliner while her husband headed to the kitchen.
“You know what I miss?” Connor whispered in Lauren’s ear as she stood at the counter making dinner, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Sex. I miss being able to fuck my incredibly sexy wife.” He rubbed his erection against her backside to prove his point.
“You know what I miss?” she snapped. “Sleep. And boobs that didn’t ache, or have a baby hanging from them nearly twenty-four seven. Therefore, you can have sex when I can have a solid six hours of sleep.” She pushed back against him with enough force to let him know she meant business.
He backed away from her as she spun around to glare at him, spatula in hand. “Fair enough. What can I do to help? Have you thought about pumping like the doctor recommended at your last appointment? Then I could take over some of the feedings.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “Connor, I’ve been trying that. You know, while you’re busy working? I’ve pumped, tried to feed him a bottle, and he screams. I even had Amy try to give him a bottle and he protests. It’s not working. Have you seen the inside of our freezer lately? It’s like the fucking dairy section at the supermarket.”
“Maybe he protests because he can smell you and your milk, and that’s why he’s refusing the bottle?”
Lauren huffed, “How the fuck would you know? Have you ever breastfed a baby?”
Connor chuckled. He hadn’t meant to, but it slipped out and he knew the minute it did, that he’d stepped into the firing zone. “Princess,” his voice lowered, and he put his hands on her shoulders and began to rub them in an attempt to calm her down. “I read the information the doctor gave us. I even read that parenting book you got us. Other moms have said they’ve had issues getting their babies to bottle feed for them, but if they aren’t around, they’ll take a bottle like a champ.”
Tears flowed down her face, but instead of attacking him, she fell into his chest and sobbed, “You read about it?”
“Yes, babe, I’ve done my homework on this parenting thing. I have an idea I want to try. You take the upstairs master suite for tonight. I’ll stay down here with Max and try to bottle feed him when he wakes up. If he won’t eat and won’t go back to sleep, then I’ll come and get you. But while you’re up there, you have to try to get some sleep.” He pulled the spatula she was still gripping—as if her life depended on it—from her hand. “In fact, I think we should start your relaxation time now. I’ll finish dinner, while you get in the shower. I’ll bring you a plate when it’s ready.”
As with most men, he would rather have had sex with his wife, but he hoped a goodnight’s rest would help Lauren feel better. The last eight weeks had been an adjustment for everyone, with Lauren taking the brunt of it. He knew that he had to do something to help her. Coming out of his office, he could see the exhaustion on her face today, her shine diminished. He feared if they didn’t connect soon, he’d lose her altogether.
Lauren pulled back to glare at him, wondering if she’d heard him correctly. What he was offering sounded like a dream.
“Go, I’ve got this.” He pushed out of the kitchen.
Connor finished making their dinner, and Eliot volunteered to help him set the table. Max was still sound asleep in his bassinet in the living room.
Lauren made quick work of her shower and came floating down the stairs when dinner hit the table, holding two bottles of breast milk in her hand.
“I needed to pump or he needed to eat, so—here.” She pushed the bottle toward her husband. “I’ll leave this one out until we finish eating. If he’s not up by then, it needs to go in the fridge. Make sure if you pull any from the freezer that you warm them up. Check the first to make sure you don’t burn him. You know, shake it and squirt some on your wrist. The instructions I made for thawing those is on the
side of the fridge.”
Putting his hands on her shoulders, he looked her in the eyes. “Princess, relax. I’ve got this, okay? You’re freaking out a little, but I promise I can handle our son. We’ll make it. Now you eat and then go rest.” He kissed her forehead.
“Okay, you’ve got this,” she replied meekly.
“You don’t sound convinced,” Connor teased. “We’ll be fine.”
Lauren rolled over and looked at the clock, 8:00 A.M. She’d slept the whole night without Connor waking her, and she never heard Max cry. She felt like a new woman, except for her shirt, which happened to be soaked through, her boobs feeling like they were rock hard.
Wandering into the bathroom to pee, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. A giggle bubbled up in her throat. She looked like a Barbie doll with fake boobs in a wet tee shirt contest. There was no way she could feed Max with her breasts this engorged. She’d have to pump and take some of the edge off before she could even consider trying.
“Pee first, pump next,” she laughed.
Tip toeing down the steps half an hour later, Lauren found Connor laying on the couch with a sleeping Max on his chest. She quickly reached for her phone and snapped a picture of the two of them.
The sound of the shutter roused Connor. “I’m not asleep.” His voice sounded gravely, telling her otherwise.
She snickered. “Of course you’re not. I guess Maxwell isn’t asleep either,” she teased.
“Oh, no. He’s asleep, and working on his morning nap.” Connor yawned. “How was your night?”
“I feel like a new person. How did Max do?”
“We did fine,” he assured her.
“He took a bottle?”
“Three bottles, to be exact. He also peed on me, so there’s that.”
Take Back My Heart (Come Back To Me) Page 16