by P J Gilbers
I put his hand between my legs and pushed. “I can tell you that I truly want to be with you tonight. If you’re not good with that…But there is one rule.”
“No whips? No feathers? No handcuffs?”
“No discussion about marriage or me moving in. Just staying in the moment.”
He nodded.
“As long as I can have whips. And whipping cream.”
He chased me in the bedroom and we both circled the bed.
“Take your clothes off!” he shouted at me with his mischievous smile.
“Okay!” I stripped and he moaned. We were like two wrestlers in the ring.
“Take your clothes off!” I shouted.
“You are so hard,” I whispered.
“Lay down!” he yelled.
I laughed.
“What has gotten into you?”
“I’m about to pounce.” And he did, pushing deep into me, licking and biting my nipples.
We romped like wild animals, finally resting together.
I laughed hysterically.
“Have fun?”
“Yes.”
“Vacation. Go away with me and we’ll have fun all the time.”
“You’re breaking the rule.”
“My, my, guess you’ll have to spank me.”
He made love to me again, this time gently, leisurely, and I loved it.
“Let’s make a baby tonight,” he nuzzled my neck with his soft beard tickling me. “I don’t have to use anything…”
“Are you serious?”
He lay on his side and looked down on me.
“Sam, I’ve never said that to another woman. Or man, for that matter. I love you so much my heart aches when I see you.”
“What am I going to do?” I sat up quickly accidently knocking him off to the floor. I continued to talk to him, hanging off the side of the bed.
“Hey, man overboard here,” he laughed.
“I love you, too,” I went on, “I really do. But I love Fritz and I guess I still love Jack.”
He climbed back on the bed, pushing me over.
“That’s a good thing since he’s coming over tomorrow night.”
“You three talk way too much.”
He laughed.
“Give it time, my love. Time will tell if you and Jack can make it. Then you just have me and Fritz. And I am, of course, the logical choice.”
He kissed me again and again, playing until I came.
“You are so good at this,” I told him panting.
“I love women and I love sex. I’d make a great gigolo, if only I had Jack’s looks.”
“I’d pay a whole lot for you.” I began to cry.
“Baby, why the tears? You don’t have to pay.”
“Just thinking about tonight and how much I really love you.”
“You’re lying.”
“Best I’ve got.”
He curled around me, pulling me close, kissing my shoulders.
“I’m always here. Anything that makes you cry…I want to know.”
I fell silent and we drifted into a land of utter contentment.
Howard McMorris had been summoned. His club, Night Fire, was packed, but one of his managers had called him and said to go to the loading dock.
Something made his guts twist.
Something in the tone of Ramone's voice. An edge.
His office, an upper loft in the huge building was his sanctuary. Soundproofed from the chaos below.
He walked through the crowd, nodding to two of his security guards to come with him.
Jameson and two other suits were in the back. He'd met Jameson before when they'd gotten robbed. The back door of a dark sedan opened and Chief Matthews stepped out.
"Mr. McMorris. Chief Matthews. You have quite a crowd tonight."
"Always. Is there a problem?"
The Chief sauntered toward him, kicking gravel.
"I sure as hell hope not. Like a fire hazard. Wouldn't a fire hazard be tragic, Jameson?"
Jameson snickered.
"Tragic. I thought I saw too many people in the front area. Probably against code. And his panels...out of date. Pity to shut him down."
Howard glared.
"What's this about, Chief?"
"It's called the win-win, young man. I win and you don't get shut down. I win and your family back in Kansas stay safe. You know, Martha and Robert?"
"You son of a bitch."
"Now, don't get upset. Everyone bends over eventually. You gotta understand. I got expenses. You're just making a little contribution to your public servants."
Howard looked at his two security staff. He knew if they resisted or threatened at all the Chief would kill them. Jameson had his hand on his gun.
"How much?"
"So little you won't even feel it. Starting now..."
The Chief laughed.
Sunday
I made my grandmother’s stew and put it in the oven. Then I called David.
“David?”
“Yes my sweet.”
“We forgot to talk about the two scripts.”
“I’d better come over tonight.”
“No.”
“The sheets aren’t even cold and you’re having the reprobate over?”
“The sheets are in the laundry. Can you just send the currier and I’ll send them back to you?”
“But I have to hear your thoughts…personally. Perhaps tomorrow.”
“I’m busy.”
“Is there a fourth to the lineup? My girl you’re going to get friction burns.”
“Yes. The entire security team. We’re having a wonderful orgy. Oils and vibrators and anal…things.”
David was silent for a long time.
I thought he would laugh.
“Something’s going on, Sam. If I have to come and kidnap you I will.”
“Okay. It’s just a legal thing I have to do with the FBI and Silverman. Just some technicalities.”
“I’ll send a courier, sweetheart. I’m going to talk to you tomorrow, though. What time do you go with Silverman?”
“Ten.”
“Why don’t I go with you? Have one of my legal staff go with us?”
“No. It’s really nothing. Looking at some pictures. No big deal. Talk to you tomorrow.”
I cooked and baked and cleaned and finally took a shower. I wore the same halter dress I had worn the night of the big party.
Jack stepped off the elevator at seven looking so hot it took my breath away. He wore a white shirt, open to the belly, black jeans, and cowboy boots.
“Woman, you look good enough to eat with cranberry sauce.”
“I remember when you first said that to me.”
“I do, too.”
“Drink?”
“Juice if you have some.”
“Juice?”
He nodded and gave an uncomfortable cough.
“After you left I had a three day bender. All I remember is Fritz making me drink this horrible stuff and I threw up about a hundred times. And then the next day he dragged me to one of his AA meetings. ‘Been sober ever since.”
“Wow. I’m sorry I…”
“My fault.”
“I’m proud of you, though.”
“In therapy, too,” he said and stared at me for a long time.
We sat on the couch.
“I know, me, therapy. Go figure. I’m sorry for all the pain. All the pain, Sammy.”
“Me too. Pain I caused you.”
He swirled his orange juice.
“Miss your scotch?”
“Yes. A lot. I would love one right now.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say.
“Hungry?”
“Always. Something smells wonderful.”
“Stew and corn bread.”
“You’re kidding? I haven’t had stew and corn bread since I left West Virginia.”
“My grandmother taught me how to make it. I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like it.�
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I took his hand and led him to the table. Just holding hands with Jack always made me warm.
I served him a large bowl of stew with the thick cornbread.
“My grandma was a wonderful woman.”
He leaned back in his chair.
“I am so full. I love your grandmother. We’ve gotten rid of all of our cooks until the threat from Welsh is gone so we have a steady diet of Chinese, pizza, and burgers.”
“I’m sorry I brought so much evil into your life.”
“Don’t think like that. Speaking of evil, David called.”
I began to nervously pace the windows.
“He says you’re doing something tomorrow. I called Silverman who blew me off. Something’s up and I want to know what.”
I was silent for a long time.
“One of the rules for tonight is no talk about the future. No marriage talk, no babies talk, and no talk about Silverman and Welsh.”
He stood up and yelled.
“And why are you the only one setting rules?”
“They’re just my rules. If you don’t like them you can leave!”
This wasn’t going the way I had planned at all. I turned my back to him and tried to think of what to say next.
“But, I’d really like you to stay.” I felt too small, like a wind was about to blow me off the edge.
“Why, Sam? All of a sudden you want to have sex with the three of us. Why?”
“I’ve just been thinking a lot. About how David has these women…and I was feeling lonely.”
“Bull shit. Is this the big kiss off? You’re done…?”
“Why? Because you have someone else in the wings?”
“You’re fucking my two best friends-best they’ve ever had, according to them-and you’re asking me about infidelities? You can’t have it both ways. Fritz and David…well, maybe not David…but Fritz isn’t going to be bounced around like this for long. And then you’ll go from three to two to one to none.”
I sat down on the coffee table and traced the veins of the marble floor with my toe.
“Why do we fight like this?”
“Because we’re not getting what we want from each other.” His voice sounded tired, worn.
“I just want tonight, Jack. That’s all I can focus on right now.”
I kicked my shoes off and turned the stereo on.
Unforgettable played.
I was trying to capture smoke and had failed.
“I guess you should go…” I whispered.
Gabrielle held her breath.
“Ted, he can’t leave. You know…you know she’s going to need him.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks.
Ted walked over to Jack and screamed in his ear, “Love her, stop her, now, before it’s too late!”
He scooped me up and carried me to the bedroom, lying down on top of me.
He stared at me, desperate. I touched his face and he kissed the palm of my hand.
“I was beginning to think I was never going to hold you again, kiss you again. I think of you and I ache. I see you and I can’t breathe,” I whispered.
“I swear you’ll be the only woman in my life. Forever and ever and ever.”
I held his face in my hands. A tear dropped onto my face. It was a surprise. I kissed his face over and over.
“Do you know what you’re saying? No other women, at all, forever?”
He nodded.
“I swear, too, Jack. Only you, forever and ever and ever.”
He wrapped me in his arms and pressed… and then he began to giggle, resting his head on my chest.
“Why are you laughing? We have this big emotional moment and you’re laughing?”
“I was holding my breath, waiting for Silverman to walk in.”
I laughed wrapping my legs tightly around him.
“I’m never going to let you go,” he mumbled kissing me, moving to my neck and shoulders.
“I’m going to have special clothes tailored so you can go with me just like this.”
“But how will we go to the bathroom?”
“That’s a problem.”
“And how will I do my yoga?”
“Hmm. That’s a problem.” He started undressing me.
“I think you have way too many clothes on.”
“You too.”
I giggled and undressed him, loving how he looked. God, I had missed him.
We made love, cathartic wild humping and then slow, sweet, and tender.
Melting.
It was as if our bodies had learned the other and responded automatically, instantly.
Nothing hidden. All shared.
At last we snuggled together. He fell asleep. I went to the balcony and cried, my heart breaking, knowing the sun would soon be up and it would all be over.
Oscar had the simple locks to the empty furniture store beat within a few minutes.
“The Morning Sun said she was going back to her old apartment today,” Robert mumbled as they drove the stolen UPS truck into the empty furniture store warehouse. Eddie jumped out and began scoping it out.
“Electricity’s still on!” Eddie said.
“I gotta lay low, they have my picture out everywhere. I think Oscar ought to do a beer run. And pizza. And chicken,” Robert said, setting up his cot. “I’m taking a nap. ‘Got another fucking headache.”
Monday
Jack left at six. I woke just as the elevator doors closed. My heart was racing and I felt nauseous.
At nine-thirty-two Dennington, two other agents, and Silverman arrived.
Dennington called in Justin and Jess.
“You’re dismissed,” she said and flashed her badge.
“No one told us about this,” Justin protested.
“It’s okay, guys. Go back to Nolan’s house,” Silverman told them.
They left, calling Roger.
“I would like to still go on record that this is a bad idea.” Silverman said. “These guys are smarter than you think. They’ve been out there all this time and haven’t slipped up yet.”
Dennington turned her back on him.
Like a hunter gutting his prey Dennington pulled up my shirt and bra, exposing my breasts to Silverman and the agents.
Embarrassed they looked away. Then she attached the transmitter under my left breast.
“Kind of hot for those boots,” Dennington said.
I just gave her a look.
“Good for hunting,” I whispered.
“Suitcase?” she asked.
“In the bedroom.”
One of the agents brought it out. It was empty. A prop.
“Let’s go,” Dennington let me enter the elevator first.
The paparazzi were thick as mosquitoes after a summer rain.
“Who did you sleep with last night, Sam?” “All three at once? Which one’s the best, honey?” “So Jack kicked you out? Is it drugs? Did he hit you? Got a baby in there?” “How’s it feel going back to that old crappy apartment?”
Dennington had done her work, they seemed to have all the details.
I covered my face with my hands and climbed into the black sedan.
It took forty minutes to get to Jack’s house. The news was on the radio. No music, no sweet words to comfort. The sterile trip lasted a decade. Or two.
I was surprised to see my old Ford sitting at the bottom of Jack’s driveway.
My knees felt like rubber bands, wobbling so hard I thought I would collapse. I had never missed my parents more. I threw the suitcase in the back and started my car.
Roger trotted down the driveway. I smiled and waved good bye to him. Then I drove.
It felt odd to drive again. It had been weeks since I’d driven. I fought the tears. Images of the last three days penetrated the terror.
Fritz holding me by the fire.
David pouncing, laughing.
And Jack, his tear, his kiss, oh God, my dear Jack…
When I made it to the apartments no o
ne was around. Silverman told me they had emptied the building, telling everyone there was a gas leak.
The silence felt itchy, like electrified air before a storm.
I parked and walked to the rusty staircase. Everything was in slow motion as I took the first step to my apartment.
Thirty seconds and I could be dead.
My head was swirling. I grabbed the rail.
It was possible that he would be waiting for me on the other side of that door.
Twenty seconds and I could be dead.
I worked hard just to swallow.
Ten seconds and I could be dead.
I closed my eyes just before I touched the doorknob and pictured Jack…
The deadbolt lock turned easily with my key.
No sound.
I opened the door.
Nothing.
Everything in me told me to turn and run, to get out. But I thought of the little boy, the boy with his frog named Curtis.
I stepped in.
It seemed dark, coming in from the bright summer sunshine.
Somehow I knew closing that door meant I would never go back.
Robert was rocking back and forth behind the apartment.
“Almost mine, almost mine, almost mine…” he muttered over and over.
He polished his knife.
When I closed the door and stepped, something moved under my foot. A hard plate. A click.
I dove onto the floor, covering my head with my arms. The explosions were sequential, six in all, far away then closer, closer, louder, closer. My heart was beating so hard I thought it would burst.
“No!” I screamed to God. I felt a loving touch on my cheek.
Ted and Gabrielle wrapped themselves around her, shielding her. An angel joined them as the world became a burning, crashing inferno.
Explosions were enveloping me. I watched my floor tumble into the apartment beneath me. Fires. A large hole blew open in the kitchen wall, the refrigerator was airborne, knocking me backward, throwing bricks and plaster all over me.
I coughed, smothering in the dust.
Then… standing before me was Robert Welsh, the self-proclaimed son of Satan. He seemed ten feet tall.
Louder, earth shaking explosions hit all around me, debris was bruising and cutting and suffocating me.