My Enemy, My Earl

by Tammy Andresen

  “No.” She stepped back. “Why would you need to leave?”

  “If ye think I can fake that kind of feeling, I’m not sure ye know me at all.“ It was his turn to look away. “I know ye’re trying to protect yer heart but ye’re breaking mine in the process.”

  Covering her mouth with her hands, she looked at him, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Don’t say that. Of course I know you and I would never—” But she stopped. Because Davenport had told her, he’d never meant to hurt her. That didn’t mean he hadn’t.

  He didn’t say another word but she heard him walk across the room. Heard the door click open, swing out, and then snap shut.

  She didn’t move for several seconds, her eyes closed. She was afraid that if she took even a single step, she’d shatter, never to be put back together.

  Chapter 19

  Never in her life had she cried so much. She’d slept for a few hours between tears. She was dimly aware that the sun had risen and breakfast had come and gone. In a way Davenport had been right. This time her heart was involved and it hurt so much more than wounded pride.

  What made it all the worse was it was her own fault.

  A soft knock sounded at the door. She thought to ignore it but her mother’s voice called from the other side, “May I come in?”

  Dragging herself out of bed, she crossed the room and slid open the lock. Swinging the door open, her mother stared at her for a moment before sweeping into the room and folding her daughter into a hug.

  If she’d had any tears left, she’d have cried again, but all she could do now was rest her head on her mother’s shoulder. Clarissa’s voice caught as she mumbled, “I’ve ruined everything.”

  “I doubt it. But tell me what’s happened.” Her mother smoothed her hair and led her to sit on the bed.

  Without explaining how she’d allowed Ewan into her room unchaperoned, she told her mother how she’d questioned Ewan’s motives and how he’d left.

  Her mother gave her a sad smile. “That is difficult.” Her mother sighed. “Do you truly think that’s why he asked you to marry him?”

  Clarissa shrugged. “I don’t know what to think anymore. I just can’t allow another man to humiliate me.”

  “And how do you feel about him?” her mother’s voice was soft and her look questioning.

  “I love him. I never want to be—” she stopped. She was going to say that she never wanted to be without him. She really had made a mash of this entire situation.

  “Darling,” her mother held her hands. “If he only wanted your dowry, how do you think he would have responded to your accusation?”

  Clarissa paused. If what he wanted was her money, he would have assured he wasn’t in search of a dowry and married her at the first possible moment. Instead, he’d been so hurt, he’d left with no bride and no dowry at all. “Oh mother,” she gasped.

  “It’s not too late, darling. He only left an hour ago.” Her mother pulled her to her feet.

  “Go after him?” she asked. Her mother nodded, squeezing her hands.

  “But father?”

  “You let me take care of him.” Her mother was already pulling her up and crossing to the wardrobe.

  “He’ll be on horseback and I’ll be in a carriage, how am I going to catch him?” But she started dressing.

  “He’ll have to stop at some point.”

  Nodding, she pulled the cord to summon a maid. “Keiran hates the rain. Maybe we’ll get lucky and it will start.”

  “It’s Scotland in spring. Of course it will. There’s a tray outside your door, eat something,” her mother called as she pulled out a sturdy gown for travel.

  Within forty-five minutes, she’d jumped into the carriage, Agnes accompanying her as a companion. Uncle Haggis said they’d likely stop at the Cock n’ Bull Tavern and Inn in Kirkcaldy for the night since they had gotten a late start. Apparently Keiran had been difficult to convince to leave.

  If they weren’t there, the ladies were to turn back to Ravenscraig. Her Uncle Haggis would arrange a proper escort to take them on the four-day journey to Ewan’s home in Hawick.

  Her father had been terribly upset by the arrangement but, true to her word, her mother had pulled him aside. Someday, Clarissa would have to ask her what she said.

  It was near sunset by the time they approached Kirkcaldy but it was already dark, a storm was brewing. An eerie quiet fell, and Clarissa was near holding her breath. Nervous anticipation was building inside her while a sort of energy filled the air.

  What if he wasn’t there? What if he was and he rejected her apology? Her hands fisted in front of her mouth, dread pooling in her stomach.

  Just as the carriage rolled into town, a rumble of thunder rattled the carriage. Clarissa gasped, because she knew what thunder would do to Ewan.

  The driver needed no encouragement to whip the horses faster and soon the Cock n’ Bull came into sight just as the sky opened up and poured. “Head inside,” the driver yelled. “I’m just gunta get these horses in the barn.”

  With a nod, Agnes and Clarissa made a dash for the inn but the rain soaked them in the minute it took to reach the door.

  Excellent, she groaned to herself. I’m to look like a drowned rat when I try to win back Ewan.

  Ewan sat in the tavern nursing his third ale. He was near the fire, but the warm crackling flames did little to improve his mood. And the ale was doing nothing to quiet the ache in his heart or the thoughts ravaging his head.

  The room was crowded and people chatted happily all around him but he’d been silent for hours and though Keiran was next to him still, they’d barely spoken since leaving Ravenscraig.

  Keiran had told him he was a dimwitted fool for leavin’. With some distance from the castle, he was beginning to think Keiran had been right and he was being foolish. He hadn’t listened then, but maybe now he should.

  “Earlier,” he grunted to Keiran, “when ye said I was bein’ a fool, what did ye mean?”

  Keiran stretched in his chair, next to Ewan. “Ye’re sure ye want to hear this?”

  Ewan gave a nod.

  “I know she hurt yer pride, questioning yer motives,” Keiran started.

  “I gave her my heart, and she wanted to know if I was only interested in her money.” His voice was louder than it should have been. He took a breath.

  “She’s just been hurt, ye ken. Agnes told me what happened to her, and I can’t believe she came as far with ye as she did after that.” Keiran stopped, looking over at him.

  He was busy staring into his ale. Because he’d told her he’d be patient. And the first time she didn’t step forward, but stepped back, he’d cut and run.

  “It’s like you with thunder, ye ken?”

  “I dinna ken.” He winced because despite his denial, he had a feeling he did ken.

  Keiran cleared his throat. “Ye understand it’s not a cannon. But when you hear the noise ye’re mind takes ye back there. I think that is what it must be like for Clarissa. She knows she can trust ye, but some things, they just spook her, even when she understands they shouldna. She’s been broken too and she’s tryin’ to fix it.”

  Ewan’s head found his hand. Because he was a fool.

  “What do I do, Keiran?” His eyes were squeezed shut.

  “Go back, and tell her ye’ll wait as long as takes for her to be ready.” His friend’s hand rested on his shoulder.

  He gave a nod but then another sound caught his attention. Thunder rolled in the distance. He stood like a shot. “I’ll just head to my room,” he muttered.

  “Are ye sure ye want to be alone?” Keiran stood too. “The sound might be more muted here with all the other people and the fire goin’.”

  “I don’t want anyone to see me.” He turned then and started for the stairs. As he made his way to the front of the inn to access the staircase, the front door flew open just as another crack of thunder made him freeze in fear.

  Just as quickly it closed but his eyes were too glazed
to see anything as he stood, motionless.

  Suddenly cold hands were pressed to his cheeks. He blinked his eyes several times and looked down to see Clarissa staring up at him. “Ewan,” her soft voice hesitated as a question filled her eyes.

  “I need to get to my room,” he grated out, his breathing shallow.

  “Who are ye, then?” someone asked from his left.

  “I’m his wife,” Clarissa answered. “Could you tell me what room you’ve assigned us please?”

  Ewan didn’t hear the answer but he knew he was being led up the stairs. Leading him to the bed, she gently pushed him down to sit on the edge. She began singing and he shuddered as she moved away.

  “Come back here, lass,” he choked out.

  Her song halted but her voice was gentle. “I’m near soaked through, I’ve got to take off my cloak at least.”

  That brought him back to attention. His eyes sharpened and focused on her. Wet hair hanging down her back, her cloak was drenched. Despite the thunder still rumbling outside, he stood and whisked the wet fabric off her shoulders. Her gown was also soggy in spots and his fingers steadied to undo the buttons.

  She was soaked to the bone and still caring for him. He kissed her forehead as the last button gave and whisked her into his arms, throwing back the covers and laying her in the bed. Climbing in next to her, he pulled the blankets over them and snuggled her close to his body. “Are you too cold, lass?”

  “I’m fine, really. I haven’t been wet that long. How are you?” She tipped her head back and those eyes stared up at him with that look that had captured him from the first.

  “I’m perfect now that ye’re here.” And then he took a breath. “I’m sorry I left, lass. I told ye I’d be patient and I—”

  But she covered his mouth with her hand. “The fault is mine. You’re right. We can’t build a relationship if we don’t trust.”

  Pulling her hand aside, he captured her lips with his. “We’re getting married, lass.” He murmured between kisses.

  “Yes,” she breathed back though it hadn’t been a question. His hand travelled down her corset to her backside, which he pulled in tight to him.

  “I’ll wait longer if ye want, but if ye’ll have me, we’ll have the ceremony performed tomorrow. Right here in Kirkcaldy.”

  Bringing her hands to his cheeks, she pulled away to look into his eyes. His heart near beat out of his chest as he waited for her answer. “I’d like that.” She gave him a glowing smile.

  Ewan barely noticed the storm that raged outside. If she could overcome her fears then so could he.

  Pulling his shirt over his head, he started on the strings of her corset. He couldn’t be gentle or artful as he yanked at them. He just wanted to feel her skin.

  Fortunately, she didn’t seem to mind as her fingers reached under his kilt. “Mo chridhe,” he gasped as her hand grazed the already swollen flesh of his manhood.

  “Take it off,” she panted as she came up onto her knees on the bed to pull her chemise over her head.

  In seconds they were both undressed and he dove back into the bed, wrapping her in his arms.

  The feel of her skin made him groan and it was joined by her own sound of pleasure. “Oh, Ewan,” her lips were on his face, his neck, and her hands were tangled in his hair. “I love you. I’ll never doubt again.”

  Wanting to be closer to her, he settled between her legs and found her already wet and ready for him. Sliding inside of her, his hands combed through the wet strands of her hair. “I love you too, mo chridhe.” He kissed her lips as she pulled him closer.

  “Let’s never disagree again,” she gasped as he moved inside her.

  He gave a laughing groan. “But making amends is so satisfying.”

  They stopped talking as the pace grew quicker and the passion built. They kissed over and over as their bodies moved together. She would be his, forever. It made him near lightheaded as they neared completion, their breathing and bodies moving as one.

  The rhythm became more erratic as did their kisses until Ewan felt her squeezing him so tightly, he could barely hold on and when she cried out in release, he fell over the edge, groaning out his climax.

  Never had it been like that. So complete. He lay to her side and pulled her into his arms. “I have to tell ye that I was going to return to the castle tomorrow.”

  Clarissa tipped her head back to look at him, her sleepy eyes assessing him as she gave him a soft smile. “Oh, but I had to come here and surrender to you. I’ve lost my heart, you see, and so now I’m your prisoner.”

  “Surrendering to the laird are ye?” His body was suddenly not sated at all but began tightening again. “What shall I do with such a delectable prisoner?” He began trailing kisses down her body.

  She giggled, but lay placid in his arms. “I am sure you’ll think of something.”

  “I already have. I surrender to you too, mo chridhe.” He reached her nipple and gave it a gentle suck. Her gasping breath told him she wouldn’t be sleepy for much longer.

  A knock at the door startled him. “Who is it?” Ewan called gruffly.

  “We need to head back to the castle,” Keiran called.

  “It’s late,” Ewan answered exasperated.

  Keiran pounded on the door again. “There are no rooms for Agnes. Unless ye want her in with you, we’ve got to go. I’ll not have an innocent in my charge.”

  “Then give her your room and sleep in the common room.”

  “With the pickpockets?” Keiran sounded totally agitated, which was unlike him.

  “There are no thieves in the inn.” Ewan was trying not to be completely irritated. He had the woman he loved naked in his arms.

  Keiran pounded louder. “I’ll get the innkeeper. Tell him ye’re not married.” That got Ewan up. Tossing the covers over Clarissa, he rose from the bed and, pulling on his kilt, crossed to the door.

  “What the feck is wrong wit ye?” Ewan gave him a glare. “This is not how brothers in arms treat one another.”

  Keiran had the decency to look ashamed. Then he hissed out a whisper. “It’s Agnes. She is so blonde and pretty and she goes around looking down her nose at me fer not bein’ as noble as ye.” Keiran ran his hands through his light brown hair. “I want to throttle her when I don’t want to kiss her.”

  Ewan bit back a smile but it was difficult. Because the signs were all there. Agnes was as innocent as they came so Keiran was right to worry. He’d end up married with one toe out of line. But then, Clarissa would have her cousin on the bordering property. “If we go back tonight, Clarissa’s father could keep us from marryin’. I mean to have the deed done in the mornin’. I don’t want to wait.” Ewan reached out and clasped his friend’s shoulder. “It’s just one night.”

  Clarissa called from the bed, “Is Agnes all right?”

  “She’s fine,” Ewan called back. “Keiran will make sure she is well cared for and safe. Won’t you, Keiran?”

  Keiran gave him a glare but, throwing his hands up into the air, turned and left.

  Clicking the door closed he leaned his head against it. It wasn’t fair what he was asking of Keiran but he needed Clarissa to be his. And he knew Keiran was a man of honor. He’d not do anything he shouldn’t. Then again, Ewan considered himself a man of honor as well, and look how he was acting. Love made a man mad.

  When he returned to the bed, Clarissa barely moved. Only the rise and fall of the blanket let him know she was alive and well. “He’s gone.” Ewan whispered.

  When she didn’t answer, he pulled back the blanket. There she was, flat on her back, sound asleep.

  Slipping off his kilt, he snuggled up next to her. Never more comfortable, he fell fast asleep.

  Chapter 20

  Clarissa woke with the sun, aware of several things instantly. In addition to being snuggled against Ewan, warm and comfortable, she was famished. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast yesterday.

  For a moment she battled dueling urges, one to stay there f
orever, the other to fill her empty stomach. Before she could decide, the hand resting on her belly slid up her body, coming to her cheek. “It’s our wedding day.”

  Her smile nearly cracked her face. “It’s so exciting, isn’t it?”

  He laughed. “Where’s the lass who was afraid to commit?”

  “I trust you, Ewan.” She turned to lightly kiss his lips. Just then her stomach gave a rumble to protest.

  “What’s that, then?” he asked, glancing down at her stomach.

  Blushing she held her hand over it. “I was trying to catch you and I neglected to eat a few meals.”

  Kissing her lips again, he pulled back the covers and lifter her out of bed. “Let’s get you dressed and down to breakfast.”

  When they arrived downstairs, Agnes and Keiran were already there, Agnes blushing and looking flustered and Keiran with a scowl. It deepened when he saw Ewan.

  “I trust you slept well,” Ewan asked Keiran.

  “Barely a wink. I was busy keeping our young charge safe.” Keiran near growled.

  “I’m not that young. Almost eighteen!” Agnes replied hotly.

  Clarissa blinked. What was going on?

  Eating as quickly as her empty stomach would allow, they set off for the local church. Joy bubbled inside Clarissa. Now that she had given her heart over fully, she couldn’t be happier.

  The priest was sleepy but welcoming as he ushered Clarissa and Ewan to the front while Keiran and Agnes stood to the sides to bear witness.

  He had them sign several papers and then gave them a nod. “Please join hands.” The priest pulled out a ribbon and began to wrap it around their interlocked fingers.

  They each repeated their vows, Ewan grinning as he said, “I promise to love, honor, and cherish ye for the rest of yer days.”

  Then the priest laid his hand on top of their bound ones. “These ribbons represent a binding before God that can never be broken. You belong to each other for the rest of your days.”