Hollywood Station (2006)

by Wambaugh, Joseph - Hollywood Station 01

  Olive's hands were sweating more now. She didn't like the way things were changing so fast. The way Farley was changing. She was very scared of Cosmo and even scared of Ilya. She said, "I think it will be just awful to meet with Cosmo and collect the money from him. I'm very worried about you, Farley."

  Farley looked surprised and said, "I'm not stupid, Olive. The fucker robbed the jewelry store with a gun. You think I'm gonna meet him in some lonely place or something? No way. It's gonna happen in a nice safe place with people around."

  "That's good," Olive said.

  "And you're gonna do it, of course. Not me."

  "Me?"

  "It's way safe for you," Farley said. "It's me he hates. You'll be just fine."

  At seven that evening, Gregori phoned his business acquaintance Cosmo Betrossian and had a conversation with him in their language. Gregori told Cosmo that he had had a visitor and had bought some hotel key cards from Farley, the dope fiend that Cosmo had introduced to him last year when identification was needed for employees working in Gregori's salvage yard.

  "Farley? I have not seen the little freak in a very long time," Cosmo lied.

  "Well, my friend," Gregori said, "I just need to know if the thief can still be trusted."

  "In what way?"

  "People like him, they sometimes become police informants. The police trade little fishes for big whales. They might consider me to be a whale."

  Cosmo said, "You can trust him in that way. He is such a worthless addict that the police would not even want to deal with him. But you cannot lend him money. I was stupid enough to do that."

  "Thank you," Gregori said. "Perhaps I could buy you and your lovely Ilya a dinner at the Gulag some evening?"

  "I would like that, thank you," Cosmo said. "But I have an idea. Perhaps you can do something for me?"

  "Of course."

  "I would be very grateful next month on a night I shall designate if you would call Farley and tell him you need more key cards because several new employees have arrived from Mexico with family members. Offer him more than you paid today. Then tell him to deliver the cards to your salvage yard. After dark."

  "My business is closed before dark. Even on Saturday."

  "I know," Cosmo said, "but I would like you to give me a duplicate gate key. I will be at the salvage yard when Farley arrives."

  "Wait a moment," Gregori said. "What does this mean?"

  "It is only about the money he owes me," Cosmo said reassuringly. "I want to scare the little dope fiend. Maybe make him give me what money he has in his pocket. I have a right."

  "Cosmo, I do not do violence, you know that."

  "Of course," Cosmo said. "The most I will do is to keep his car until he pays me. I will take his keys and drive his car to my place and make him walk home. That is all."

  "That is not a theft? Could he call the police?"

  Cosmo laughed and said, "It is a business dispute. And Farley is the last man in Hollywood to ever call the police. He has never worked an honest day in his life."

  "I am not sure about this," Gregori said.

  "Listen, cousin," Cosmo said. "Drop the key at my apartment after work this evening. I cannot be there because of other business, but Ilya will be there. She will make you her special tea. In a glass, Russian-style. What do you say?"

  Gregori was silent for a moment, but then he thought of Ilya. That great blond Russian Ilya with her nice plump, long legs and huge tits.

  He was silent too long, so Cosmo said, "Also, I will give you one hundred dollars for your trouble. Gladly."

  "All right, Cosmo," Gregori said. "But there must not be violence on my property."

  After Cosmo hung up, he said to Ilya in English, "You shall not believe our good fortune. In a few hours Gregori of the junkyard shall come here with a key. I promise to him one hundred for the key. Behave nice. Give to him your glass of tea."

  Two hours later when Gregori arrived, he discovered that, true to his word, Cosmo was not there. Ilya invited him in and after he put the salvage yard gate key on the table, he was asked to sit while she put on the tea kettle.

  Ilya wore a red cotton dress that hiked up every time she bent over even slightly, and he could see those white plump thighs. And her breasts were spilling from her bra, which Gregori could see was black and lacy.

  After putting two glasses and saucers and cookies on the table, Ilya said in English, "Cosmo is gone all evening. Business."

  "Do you get the lonesomeness?" Gregori asked.

  "I do," she said. "Gregori, Cosmo promises to pay you one hundred?"

  "Yes," Gregori said, unable to take his eyes from those white ballooning breasts.

  "I have it for you, but . . ."

  "Yes, Ilya?"

  "But I must buy shoes and Cosmo is not a generous man, and perhaps I may tell him that I paid money, but . . ."

  "Yes, Ilya?"

  "But perhaps we do like Americans say . . ."

  "Yes, Ilya?"

  "And fuck the brains from outside of our heads?"

  The tea was postponed, and within two minutes Gregori was wearing only socks, but he suddenly began to fret about Cosmo and said, "Ilya, you must promise. Cosmo must never learn we do this."

  Unhooking her bra and removing her black thong, Ilya said, "Gregori, you have nothing to fear about. Cosmo says that in America someone fuck someone in every business deal. One way or other."

  Chapter TWELVE

  HOLLYWOOD NATE ALWAYS said that there were two kinds of cops in Hollywood Division: Starbucks and 7-Eleven types. Nate was definitely a Starbucks guy, and lucky for him his prot,g, Wesley Drubb came from a family that had never set foot in a 7-Eleven store. Nate couldn't work very long without heading for either the Starbucks at Sunset and La Brea or the one at Sunset and Gower. On the other hand, there were Hollywood Division coppers (7-Eleven types) who chose to take code 7 at IHOP. Nate said that eating at IHOP would produce enough bad cholesterol to clog the Red Line subway. He seldom even patronized the ever-popular Hamburger Hamlet, preferring instead one of the eateries in Thai Town around Hollywood Boulevard and Kingsley. Or one of the more health-conscious joints on west Sunset that served great latt,s.

  The hawkish handsome face of Nate Weiss had now recovered from his battle with the war veteran who insisted on a ride to Santa Monica and La Brea. The last Nate heard about the guy was that he'd plea-bargained down to simple battery and would no doubt soon be returning to drugs and flashbacks and a hankering for another ride to Santa Monica and La Brea.

  Nate was back to pumping iron at the gym and jogging three times a week and had an appointment to meet a real agent who might advance his career immeasurably. Being one of the few officers at Hollywood Station who loved to work all the red carpet events at Grauman's or the Kodak Theatre, where sometimes hundreds of officers were needed, he'd met the agent there.

  "You know, Wesley," Nate said, "about that little indie film I've been trying to put together? Had a chance to talk to your old man about it yet?"

  "Not yet, Nate," Wesley said. "Dad's in Tokyo. But I wouldn't get my hopes up. He's a very conservative man when it comes to business."

  "So am I, Wesley, so am I," Nate said. "But this is as close to a no-brainer as it gets in the film business. Did I tell you I'm getting my SAG card?"

  "I'm not sure if you told me or not," Wesley said, thinking, Does he ever stop? The guy's thirty-five years old. He'll be a star about the time USC trades its football program for lacrosse.

  "Every time I do a union job as a nonunion extra, I get a voucher. One more job and I'll have enough vouchers and pay stubs. Then I'm eligible to join the Screen Actors Guild."

  "Awesome, Nate," Wesley said.

  When Hollywood Nate lay in bed after getting off duty, he had latt, dreams and mocha fantasies of life in a high canvas chair, wearing a makeup bib, never dating below-the-line persons, using the word "energy" at least once in every three sentences, and living in a house so big you'd need a Sherpa to find th
e guest rooms. Such was the dream of Hollywood Nate Weiss.

  As for young Wesley Drubb, his dream was muddled. Lately he'd been spending a lot of time trying to convince himself that he had not made a horrible mistake dropping out of USC, not graduating and going on for an MBA. He often questioned the wisdom of moving away from the Pacific Palisades family home into a so-so apartment in West Hollywood that he couldn't have easily afforded without a roommate. And not without the personal checks he was secretly receiving from his mother's account, checks that he had nobly refused to cash for several months until he'd finally succumbed. What was he proving? And to whom?

  After the hand grenade incident and the fight in which Nate got hurt worse than he pretended, Wesley had confided in his brother, Timothy, hoping his older sibling would give him some advice.

  Timothy, who had been working for Lawford and Drubb only three years, knocking down more than $175,000 last year (their father's idea of starting at the bottom), said to him, "What do you get out of it, Wesley? And please don't give me any undergraduate existential bullshit."

  Wesley had said, "I just . . . I don't know. I like what I do most of the time."

  "You are such an asshole," his brother said, ending the discussion. "Just try to only get crippled and not killed. It would be the end of Mom if she lost her baby boy."

  Wesley Drubb didn't think that he was terribly afraid of getting crippled or killed. He was young enough to think that those things happened to other guys, or other girls, like Mag Takara. No, the thing that he couldn't explain to his brother or his dad or mom, or any of his fraternity brothers who were now going to grad school, was that the Oracle was right. This work was the most fun he would ever have on any job.

  Oh, there were boring nights when not much happened, but not too boring. On the downside, there was the unbelievable oversight that LAPD was presently going through, which created loads of paperwork and media criticism and a level of political correctness that a civilian would never understand or tolerate. But at the end of the day, young Wesley Drubb was having fun. And that's why he was still a cop. And that's why he just might remain one for the foreseeable future. But his thought process went off the rails at that point. At his age, he couldn't begin to fathom what the words "foreseeable future" truly meant.

  After Hollywood Nate had his Starbucks latt, and was in a good mood, they got a call to Hollywood and Cahuenga, where a pair of Hollywood's homeless were having a twilight punch-out. Neither geezer was capable of inflicting much damage on the other unless weapons were pulled, but the fight was taking place on Hollywood Boulevard, and that would not be tolerated by the local merchants. Project Restore Hollywood was in full bloom, with everyone dreaming of more and more tourists and of someday making seedy old Hollywood glam up like Westwood or Beverly Hills or Santa Barbara minus the nearby ocean.

  The combatants had taken their fight to the alley behind an adult bookstore and had exhausted themselves by throwing half a dozen flailing punches at each other. They were now at the stage of standing ten feet apart and exchanging curses and shaking fists. Wesley parked the shop on Cahuenga north of Hollywood Boulevard, and they approached the two ragbag old street fighters.

  Nate said, "The skinny one is Trombone Teddy. Used to be a hot-licks jazzman a truckload of whiskey ago. The real skinny one I've seen around for years, but I don't think I've ever talked to him."

  The real skinny one, a stick of a man of indeterminate age but probably younger than Trombone Teddy, wore a filthy black fedora and a filthier green necktie over an even filthier gray shirt and colorless pants. He wore what used to be leather shoes but were now mostly wraps of duct tape, and he spent most evenings shuffling along the boulevard raving at whoever didn't cross his palm with a buck or two.

  It was hardly worth worrying about who would be contact and who would be cover with these two derelicts, and Hollywood Nate just wanted to get it over with, so he waded in and said, "Jesus, Teddy, what the hell're you doing fighting on Hollywood Boulevard?"

  "It's him, Officer," Teddy said, still panting from exertion. "He started it."

  "Fuck you!" his antagonist said with the addled look these guys get from sucking on those short dogs of cheap port.

  "Stay real," Nate said, looking at the guy and at his shopping cart crammed with odds and ends, bits and bobs. There was no way he wanted to bust this guy and deal with booking all that junk.

  Wesley said to the skinniest geezer, "What's your name?"

  "What's it to ya?"

  "Don't make us arrest you," Nate said. "Just answer the officer."

  "Filmore U. Bracken."

  Trying a positive approach, Wesley smiled and said, "What's the U for?"

  "I'll spell it for you," Filmore replied. "U-p-y-u-r-s."

  "Upyurs?" Wesley said. "That's an unusual name."

  "Up yours," Nate explained. Then he said, "That's it, Filmore, you're going to the slam."

  When Nate took latex gloves from his pocket, Filmore said, "Upton."

  Before putting the gloves on, Nate said, "Okay, last chance. Will you just agree to move along and leave Teddy here in peace and let bygones be bygones?"

  "Sure," Filmore U. Bracken said, shuffling up to Teddy and putting out his hand.

  Teddy hesitated, then looked at Nate and extended his own hand. And Filmore U. Bracken took it in his right hand and suckered Teddy with a left hook that, pathetic as it was, knocked Trombone Teddy on the seat of his pants.

  "Hah!" said Filmore, admiring his own clenched fist.

  Then the latex gloves went on both cops, and Filmore's bony wrists were handcuffed, but when he was about to be walked to their car, he said, "How about my goods?"

  "That's worthless trash," Hollywood Nate said.

  "My anvil's in there!" Filmore cried.

  Wesley Drubb walked over to the junk, gingerly poked around, and underneath the aluminum cans and socks and clean undershorts probably stolen from a Laundromat found an anvil.

  "Looks pretty heavy," Wesley said.

  "That anvil's my life!" their prisoner cried.

  Nate said, "You don't need an anvil in Hollywood. How many horses you see around here?"

  "That's my property!" their prisoner yelled, and now an asthmatic fat man waddled out the back door of an adult bookstore and said, "Officer, this guy's been raising hell on the boulevard all day. Hassling my customers and spitting on them when they refuse to give him money."

  "Fuck you too, you fat degenerate!" the prisoner said.

  Nate said to the proprietor, "I gotta ask you a favor. Can he keep his shopping cart inside your storage area here until he gets outta jail?"

  "How long will he be in?"

  "Depends on whether we just book him for plain drunk or add on the battery we just witnessed."

  "I don't wanna make a complaint," Trombone Teddy said.

  "Shut up, Teddy," Hollywood Nate said.

  "Yes, sir," said Teddy.

  "I ain't as drunk as he is!" the prisoner said, pointing at Teddy.

  He was right and everyone knew it. Teddy was reeling, and not from the other geezer's punch.

  "Okay, tell you what," Nate said, deciding to dispense boulevard justice. "Filmore here is going to detox for a couple hours and then he can come back and pick up his property. How's that?"

  Everyone seemed okay with the plan, and the store owner pushed the shopping cart to the storage area at the rear of his business.

  While Nate was escorting their prisoner to the car, Trombone Teddy walked over to Wesley Drubb and said, "Thanks, Officer. He's a bad actor, that bum. A real mean drunk."

  "Okay, anytime," Wesley said.

  But Teddy had a card in his hand and extended it to Wesley, saying, "This is something you might be able to use."

  It was a business card to a local Chinese restaurant, the House of Chang. "Thanks, I'll try it sometime," Wesley said.

  "Turn it over," Teddy said. "There's a license number."

  Wesley flipped the card and saw what look
ed like a California license plate number and said, "So?"

  Teddy said, "It's a blue Pinto. Two tweakers were in it, a man and a woman. She called him Freddy, I think. Or maybe Morley. I can't quite remember. I seen them fishing in a mailbox over on Gower south of the boulevard. They stole mail. That's a federal offense, ain't it?"

  Wesley said, "Just a minute, Teddy."

  When he got back to his partner, who had put Filmore U. Bracken in the backseat of the car, Wesley showed him the card and said, "Teddy gave me this license number. Belongs to tweakers stealing from mailboxes. The guy's name is Freddy or Morley."

  "All tweakers steal from mailboxes," Hollywood Nate said, "or anything else they can steal."

  It seemed to Wesley that he shouldn't just ignore the tip and throw the license number away. But he didn't want to act like he was still a boot, so he went back to Teddy, handed him the card, and said, "Why don't you take it to a post office. They have people who investigate this sort of thing."

  "I think I'll hang on to it," Teddy said, clearly disappointed.

  Driving to the station, Nate got to thinking about the secretary who worked for the extras casting office he'd visited last Tuesday. She had given him big eyes as well as her phone number. He thought that he and Wesley could pick up some takeout, and he could sit in the station alone somewhere and chat her up on his cell.

  "Partner, you up for burgers tonight?" he asked Wesley.

  "Sure," Wesley said. "You're the health nut who won't eat burgers."

  And then, thinking of the little secretary and what they might do together on his next night off, and how she might even help him with her boss the casting agent, Nate felt a real glow come over him. What he called "Hollywood happy."

  He said, "How about you, Filmore, you up for a burger?"

  "Hot damn!" the derelict said. "You bet!"

  They stopped at a drive-through, picked up four burgers, two for Wesley, and fries all around, and headed for the station.