“Of course I can. I’ll be in at eleven-thirty so you can be ready for your date.”
Ignoring Selena's comment, Jamie just smiled at her.
WEDNESDAY, 12th SEPTEMBER
What a day I’ve had.
And like the Katy Perry song, “I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It.”
However Jamie is not a girl she’s a woman.
But I’m getting ahead of myself a bit. I’ll start at the beginning of the day.
I was full of determination to climb those bloody steps to the Abbey. That determination paid off and thank god I actually managed them in one go. I don’t think I could have kept trying without giving myself a heart attack. Although I thought I’d breathed my last breath when I did get to the top. However I wasn’t alone as most people appeared to be in the same boat as me.
I took some photos and made my way down to Jamie's gallery. I was so excited about my achievement that I lost my head. Well it was more like the endorphins flooding my system that made me high, I think.
I went into the gallery and kissed Jamie and she kissed me back.
What was it like? It was like nothing I’ve experienced before. I’ve only ever kissed men and they’re angular, rough and prickly. The softness was amazing and so arousing. I couldn’t believe how strong my feelings were. It certainly got my juices flowing, and answered the question I’d been asking myself.
Am I gay? I think kissing Jamie and enjoying it so very much is probably my answer.
I also have to put it in perspective. I may just be going through a phase. Oh yeah, this late in my life, I don’t think so.
But why is this happening now? That’s the big question and one to which I don’t yet have an answer. Tomorrow I shall meet up with Jamie for our walk and back here for dinner.
I’ll let events take me where they will as I have no experience in this, although it can’t be any different from the usual boy girl stuff.
JAMIE NERVOUSLY PACED the floor of the gallery as she waited for Selena to arrive. Then she would be even more nervous waiting for Lucy.
Selena knocked on the glass, and Jamie jumped a foot in the air. “What the hell are you up to?” Jamie asked, as she flung open the gallery door and glared at Selena.
“Chill, JJ, you’re going to give yourself an ulcer.”
Selena walked past Jamie, took her coat off and got ready to start work. “What are you so nervous about? You’re only going for a walk and then dinner, relax, JJ.”
“I know you’re right. Sorry, I’m just on edge.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“I don’t know why I’m so worried. I get on well with Lucy, what little I know of her, and we seem to have a similar sense of humour.”
“I know exactly why, you’ve let her in and now you have to open more of yourself up to her, and that scares you.”
“You’re right as usual. Oh god, I suppose I’m gonna have to tell her about Rachel. How do I tell her about Rachel?”
“Just tell her the truth, JJ. Rachel was a big part of your life, and will always be a part of who you are. If anything is going to happen between you and Lucy, she’ll have to accept that.”
“Yes, and that’s what worries me. I really like Lucy, and before you say it, I know she might still turn out to be straight,” Jamie said.
“That thought crossed my mind too. But when you think about it, she’s not a young girl experimenting with her sexuality. It could be as simple as the fact she’s always been gay, but never recognised the signs.”
What Selena said made sense to Jamie.
“I think if Lucy wasn’t sure of what she was doing she wouldn’t be going out with you today. Let’s be honest, she kissed you and you responded. If she was put off by it, you’d not see her again, true?” Again Selena’s words had validity.
“I know and that kiss kind of said it all really. Lucy didn’t back away, and although she seemed embarrassed, I think it was more to do with the fact she’d made the first move.”
“You could be right. You told me she’d just gone to the top of the steps in one go. She was obviously high on her achievement and the adrenalin, and got carried away. I don’t think Lucy was embarrassed with the kiss as you say, because she wouldn’t have asked you out.”
“Well time will tell, and if she doesn’t arrive, then I’ll have my answer.”
Just then the door opened and in walked Lucy.
“Hi, I’m not late am I?”
“No, right on time. Okay, Sel, it’s all yours. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have a nice time. At least the weather looks to be good for the afternoon.”
“We will ’bye.”
“Bye, Selena,” Lucy said, as she left the shop.
“My car is this way,” Jamie said, leading the way down the road.
“I thought we were walking?”
“We are, but the walk we’re going to do will take about two and a half hours. It starts and finishes in one of the car parks at the top of the bay. We can leave the car there.”
“Sounds good to me.”
It was a short drive to Robin Hood’s Bay, and they travelled the distance in companionable silence. When they arrived Jamie paid the parking fee and they set off along the well-worn path.
“I packed some water and energy bars in case we got peckish,” Lucy said, hoisting her backpack on her shoulders.
“Me too, great minds, eh?”
She led the way and soon they came out where a good part of the walk overlooked the bay and sea.
“What a beautiful view!”
“It is pretty spectacular,” Jamie said. “I love it up here. Come on let’s sit a while.” She indicated a bench a few yards away.
“What’s the story behind how Robin Hood’s Bay got its name, then?”
“There are plenty of them, one of which says Robin Hood kept boats here. There’s one that the Abbot of Whitby asked Robin to fight off Danish pirates. Another that Robin himself built the town after shooting an arrow to the site from Stoupe Brow. There were also stories of the bay being used by smugglers,” Jamie said, continuing the history lesson as they walked to the bench.
“It certainly has a colourful past then. Do you come here a lot?”
“We—I used to, but not for a few years now.”
They sat for a few minutes with only the sounds of the birds as accompaniment.
“You started to say we, what happened?”
Jamie sat quietly, thinking how best to answer Lucy’s question, or whether to ignore it.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t pry. It’s none of my business.”
“No, its fine. I haven’t spoken about Rachel for a while.”
“Who was Rachel?”
Jamie got up. “Can we carry on walking? I find it helps me focus my thoughts.” It will help stop any tears should they surface, Jamie thought.
“Of course.”
They carried on walking in silence until Jamie was ready to tell her story.
“Rachel was my partner of nearly twenty years. We used to come up here all the time. It’s so peaceful and has restorative qualities, a bit like recharging our draining life batteries. Well, I think it does, but maybe I’m being fanciful.”
“No I think you’re right, it does make you feel relaxed and ready to face the world.”
“I hope you don’t mind that I brought you up here?”
“No, why would I?”
“Some people might think I was—”
“Recreating your time with Rachel?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
“I don’t, and in any case, if we avoided all places that reminded us of another person, we’d never share them with someone new and create new memories.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Jamie said.
“That’s how I will think of my time here with you. I’m glad you brought me up here to share this with you.”
“Thank you, that’s put my mind at rest.”
“What happ
ened to Rachel?”
“She died five years ago of complications after surgery to remove a cancerous growth on one of her ovaries.”
“Oh, Jamie, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t begin to imagine how you felt.”
“Thank you for that, and for not treating me like an invalid.”
“Why would I, there’s nothing wrong with you. Grief is an emotion, not an illness and it’s something you can recover from, given time.”
“I know, but some people seemed to think it was me who was ill after Rachel died. There were some who would cross the road to avoid having to acknowledge her death.”
“Why are people so—so—?”
“I don’t know. I think it scares them too much.”
“But what about you and how scared you were?”
“It was better once we had the funeral. My close friends like Selena and Sue were very supportive, which helped a lot.”
“What was Rachel like?” Lucy asked.
They stopped to take in the view and Jamie took this pause in their walk to think of how best to describe Rachel.
“Rachel was a beautiful person inside and out. She was a born and bred Londoner but after she moved to Whitby for her first teaching job, she decided she’d never go back. She considered Whitby her real home. She taught English to fifteen and sixteen year olds. Her kids adored her and she always treated them with respect that was returned ten-fold. She would sometimes bring her class up here to read poetry in the open-air. Rachel loved what she did, and it came out in her work and the students’ exam results.”
“She sounds like she was a special and kind person.”
“She was. I’ll always remember her, and a part of my heart will always belong to her.”
“Of course, your feelings are completely natural. She was a big part of your life.”
Jamie looked at Lucy, hearing genuine warmth in her words and a sincere look on her face.
“You really mean that, don’t you?”
“Absolutely. You had a life together. You shouldn’t erase that, even if someone else comes into your life.”
Lucy’s words hit home. Selena was right. It was time for her to move on. Rachel wouldn’t want her to grieve forever. It was just hard to let her go.
With those thoughts running around her head, Jamie realised she could start accepting that maybe now she’d be able to let someone else into her life. That she didn’t have to forget Rachel.
They walked in silence, each with their own thoughts. There was no need for conversation, they were relaxed in each other’s company. Even though they barely knew each other, Jamie felt comfortable talking with Lucy about Rachel.
Before they knew it they were back at Jamie’s car, just as it was starting to cloud over.
“I think we may get some rain later,” Jamie said. She unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for Lucy.
“Looks like it, thank you.”
Jamie closed the door.
“Shall I drop you off and come by later for that meal you promised? That way I can get a shower and make sure I don’t smell.”
“I don’t think you smell at all, well not much. Ow, that hurt!” Lucy said, as Jamie gently punched her on the thigh.
“You deserved that. Okay I’ll drop you off and return once I’ve got rid of the obvious bad smell.” Jamie glanced over at Lucy. “Not while I’m driving,” she said, as she saw Lucy raise her hand to get her back.
They both laughed and Jamie drove them to Lucy’s cottage without further bodily harm.
“What time shall I come for dinner?” Jamie asked, as she opened the car door for Lucy.
“Thanks. Let’s say seven-thirty and we’ll eat about eight.”
“Seven-thirty it is, see you then.”
Chapter Six
JAMIE STOOD IN the shower letting the warm water gently cascade over her body. The reaction Lucy invoked in her was an unexpected bonus.
“Maybe I should have a cold shower the way I’m feeling right now.”
She was aroused by the thought of being with Lucy and could see them in her mind’s eye. Jamie’s hands cupped her own breasts as she imagined Lucy’s hands on her. Could see them caressing and touching each other slowly and with love, enjoying each of the sensations their touches elicited. Jamie's hand started to move down her sensitive body to where she desperately wanted it. Suddenly her eyes flew open.
“You’re behaving like a horny teenager, get a grip woman.”
She laughed at that, as she hoped she would be getting a grip of Lucy later.
Jamie turned the water to cold, shocking her system and putting her libido to sleep, but hopefully only for a short while. She stepped, shivering, out of the shower into the warmth of the bathroom and a nice warm fluffy towel. As she dried off, Jamie told herself to be careful this evening. If she and Lucy did sleep together, now or in the near future, Lucy would probably be nervous. With that in mind Jamie would take things slow, let Lucy dictate the pace. She was assuming that this was where the evening was headed. But secretly hoped that this was indeed the direction the evening was going to take.
Wherever it was headed, and whatever happened tonight, Jamie vowed to make it good for the pair of them. She needed someone right now who took her as she was, warts and all. The added bonus was Lucy accepted Rachel was part of Jamie’s life.
Even if it was only going to be a short holiday romance, Jamie was happy to go along for what she hoped would be a great time. The more Jamie thought about it, the more she came to the conclusion she was in a good place. A place where she could finally move on and she knew Rachel would approve. No matter what was to happen between her and Lucy, Jamie was ready to take the next step to a new life, if this involved Lucy so much the better. Jamie really liked her and wanted more than just a short holiday romance. Jamie checked herself in the hall mirror. She looked good for fifty-nine and was glad she kept in shape, especially with the way Lucy looked. She suddenly started to worry that she wasn’t attractive to Lucy.
“You’re getting way ahead of yourself, Jamie. Just go to dinner and see what happens.”
LUCY PUT THE finishing touches to the table and checked her watch.
Just enough time to shower and find some suitable clothes for her dinner with Jamie.
She wondered if she had anything that didn’t make her look like she was about to go hiking?
She ran up to the bathroom to get ready.
Lucy stood naked in her bedroom after her shower and looked at herself in the full length mirror. She turned to the side and pulled in the roundness of her stomach.
“Not bad for sixty-one, not bad at all, but I need to breathe so what the hell.”
She grinned at herself and turned to her wardrobe. Lucy stared in looking for something to wear. She’d brought a couple of pairs of smart tailored trousers, a dressy blouse and a thin pale yellow V-neck sweater and was glad now she had, although she was sure Jamie could care less.
She chose black trousers and the pale yellow sweater. Lucy was enjoying dressing up for the evening. She’d not had much chance for doing that, or going out in the last couple of years. Tonight would make a welcome change. She wouldn’t be dining alone and wouldn’t be dressed in tracksuit bottoms and a sweatshirt.
The doorbell made Lucy jump. She took a deep breath, a final check of her hair in the mirror and almost ran down the stairs to open the door. Jamie stood there with a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine. “Hi, you look lovely,” she said shyly.
The look on Jamie's face hinted to Lucy she’d made a good choice for her outfit this evening. “So do you,” Lucy replied, admiring Jamie’s black form fitting jeans that were topped by an equally tight white t-shirt. The black shirt over the top completed a very good look on Jamie, one that made Lucy’s stomach flutter. Jamie’s outfit made her look very sexy indeed.
Lucy knew she was in trouble here.
“Come in and make yourself comfortable.” Lucy closed the door behind Jamie and f
ollowed her into the lounge, checking out the sway of her hips as she walked.
Oh yes, Lucy was in real trouble.
“I didn’t know what we were having, so I bought a bottle of white. I hope that’s okay.”
“Lovely, and it’s one of my favourites,” Lucy said, inspecting the label. “I’ll put this in the fridge for later and we’ll finish up the one I’ve opened, if that’s all right.”
“That’s fine. I got you these as well.” Jamie handed the flowers to Lucy, who took them and found a container to put them in.
“They’re beautiful. I’ll put them on the window sill while we eat. I hope you’re not a vegetarian. I never thought to ask.”
“No, I eat meat. What are we having?”
“Chicken breasts in a white wine sauce on a bed of rice, accompanied by a green side salad with warm bread rolls and butter.”
Lucy went to the kitchen area to get things ready.
“God, you sure know how to get to a woman’s heart.”
Lucy poured two glasses of wine and went to the lounge area to hand one to Jamie.
“Thank you. This is a lovely little cottage, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it suits my needs. I managed to get a fantastic last minute deal. It was only five hundred pounds for the fortnight.”
“That is very good. A lot of these tourist cottages tend to be a bit pricey sometimes.”
“It’s the end of the season and I think that’s reflected in what I paid.”
“Have you been to Yorkshire before?”
“Yes, but mostly the Dales, never to this part. I love that I’m so close to the inspiration for Dracula.”
“Have you read it?”
“Oh yes. I thought it was fantastic. I’ve also seen an excellent stage production.” Lucy looked at her watch, just as the timer pinged. “Right, dinner’s ready. I’ll just get it out of the oven.”
199 Steps to Love Page 6