“Can I help?” Jamie asked, as she got up with Lucy.
“Yes, can you put the salads on the table, they’re in the fridge.”
“Yes, chef.”
Lucy laughed, and between the two of them they had everything laid out and then sat down to eat.
“So, Lucy, what’s your story, then? Where’s your significant other, or isn’t there one?” Jamie helped herself to the chicken and put it on the bed of rice Lucy had served onto each of their plates.
“I was married, to a man, up until a couple of years ago when we got divorced.” Lucy didn’t know why she’d specified that she was married to a man.
“That’s sad. Was it a mutual decision, or a messy divorce? Do you have any children? Sorry if I’m being a bit nosy.”
“No, not at all. I think its quid pro quo after your revelations this afternoon.”
They ate quietly for a few minutes while Lucy gathered her thoughts. Although the divorce had been amicable, it was still sad that their marriage had ended.
“Brian and I had drifted apart. Toward the end, well, we were more like brother and sister. I’d been doing my own thing for a while before it all came to a head. One day we had a conversation, and I blurted out that I wanted a divorce. I hadn’t meant to say it, but it was obviously on my mind. I think Brian was a bit shocked, but the more we talked the more it became clear, a divorce was the best solution to what was no longer a proper marriage. If we’d stayed together I think we would have ended up hating each other. Brian’s a lovely man, but we fell out of love with each other. As for children we have a daughter, Alexi, who is thirty-two.”
“You don’t look old enough to have a thirty-two-year-old daughter.”
“I’m sixty-two next week.”
“Looking good, really good,” Jamie said admiringly, and raised her glass. Lucy touched hers to Jamie's and they both drank.
“Anyway, the break-up of the marriage was very amicable and I occasionally see Brian. I believe he’s with someone at the moment, according to Alexi.”
“What about you, any men beating a path to your door?”
“No, and to be honest I’m not all that bothered. I’m learning things about myself that I’m trying to put into perspective.”
“I suppose you mean kissing a woman?”
“Well—er—yes, exactly. And that has really given me food for thought over the last twenty-four hours.”
Lucy got up and cleared their plates away. She turned to finish clearing the table to find Jamie had already done it.
“Thanks just put the stuff on the side I’ll wash it up later.”
“No, that’s not how it’s done. You cooked so I’ll clear away. Pour some wine for us both and then sit down while I do this.” Jamie waved her hand at the dishes.
Lucy did as she was told and sat watching Jamie wash-up and put everything away. It was funny to see her opening drawers and cupboards, making sure she put everything in the right place.
“There, all done. Now we can sit and chat.”
Lucy handed Jamie her glass of wine and sat on the opposite chair to Jamie, who pulled her legs up under her and sipped her wine.
“Can you light the gas fire please, it’s just beginning to get a bit chilly now.”
Jamie leant over and turned the switch and they both watched the living flame fire as it started to warm the room.
“Tell me about when you first knew you were gay.”
Jamie laughed. “You really do have a knack for going for the jugular, don’t you? That’s the second time you’ve asked a searching question.” Jamie took a sip of wine, then placed her glass on the table. “I’ve always known, probably since I was about eight years old. Obviously at that age I didn’t recognise that I was gay. I had crushes on the girls in my class, some teachers, and my best friend. As I got older, I was able to look things up in the library and I think I was about eleven when I put a name to my feelings.”
“Have you ever been with a man?”
“Only once. I went out with a boy for a few months when I was sixteen and we did it a couple of times, but I didn’t enjoy it at all. The first time with a woman was all I needed to convince me that I would never go with a man again.”
“You never wanted to get married, have children?”
“It wasn’t on my to-do list. I went to university to study art history and met some interesting women. During my years studying in London, and later in Paris, I had a few girlfriends but nothing serious. Not until I met Rachel, and that was it for me.” Jamie was quiet for a minute. “We really clicked and children never came up. It was as if we were complete without them.”
Lucy drained her glass and refilled it, Dutch courage for her next question. “What happens when you’re sixty-one and you kiss a woman for the first time? With that amazing kiss comes the realisation that this is what it’s all about. What then? What do you do then, at sixty-one?”
“You ask the hardest questions, Lucy. The honest answer is I don’t know. Are you sure you’re not just getting ahead of yourself? It was just a kiss in the heat of the moment. You were elated and you got carried away.”
Lucy was stung. “Just a kiss, is that all?” She drained her glass again and refilled it.
“Honestly?” Jamie asked.
“Yes, honestly. Was it just a kiss for you?”
“It was a great kiss that truthfully got me very—well you know.”
“I thought so. I could tell it affected you as much as it did me,” Lucy said, relieved that she hadn’t imagined the connection between them.
“It certainly did.”
“I’m so glad because I really want to kiss you again.”
Lucy moved to sit next to Jamie and gently pressed her lips to Jamie’s.
The jolt Lucy felt went right to her centre and she was immediately aroused. She opened her lips to allow their tongues to intertwine and taste each other.
Both women moaned and moved closer for more contact and a deeper kiss.
They finally pulled away, breathing heavily and looked into each other’s eyes.
Lucy was emboldened by all the wine she’d drunk. “Make love to me—now. Take me upstairs and make love to me, please.”
“Are you sure you’re not moving too fast?”
“No, I—er—I want to Jamie. I don’t know what’s happening here but I want to find out. I want to see what it feels like to make love with a woman, not just any woman but with you. Am I making sense?”
“I think I understand what you’re trying to say, but I don’t want either of us to get hurt. You’re just finding out about yourself. Do you really want to do this?”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Jamie, but I really feel something for you and it scares me a bit too.”
Jamie pulled Lucy to her and kissed her passionately. When they broke apart both of them were breathing heavily.
“Come with me.” Jamie took hold of Lucy’s hand and together they ascended the stairs to Lucy’s bedroom.
Once there they stood looking at each other, until Jamie took Lucy into her arms again and kissed her nearly senseless.
“Jamie, please touch me.”
Lucy quickly undressed and stood naked before Jamie, who looked admiringly at her body. Lucy suddenly became shy and quickly climbed into bed under the covers. She couldn’t believe she’d brazenly stripped off like that. But then realised it was because she was so turned on.
“You are absolutely gorgeous,” Jamie said.
Jamie stripped off her clothes in double time and it was Lucy’s turn to stare.
“Oh so are you, Jamie.”
Jamie got under the covers with Lucy and pulled her into her arms. It was as if she’d come home, the touch of Jamie's naked body against hers was wonderful. They held each other caressing bare skin until they ended up in a steamy kiss.
Jamie covered Lucy with her body, her legs on either side of Lucy’s leg. Her centre was pressed against Lucy’s thigh. They started to rock, building a rhythm th
at had them both breathless and they broke their kiss to look in each other’s eyes.
“My god, Jamie, please, will you touch me.”
“Are you sure? We can stop any time. Just say the word and we can just hold each other.”
“I’m sure, Jamie. I have never been so turned on, so ready to make love.” It was true Lucy couldn’t remember a time when she was so wet and ready.
Jamie moved to lie on her side giving her better access to Lucy’s body. She kissed Lucy and let her hand caress down Lucy to her centre. There was so much wetness and Jamie wanted her mouth there, she wanted to taste her. She altered her position so she was above Lucy and kissed her way down to join her hand. She entered Lucy and let her tongue play around the hard bundle of nerves.
“Oh, Jamie, that feels so good, don’t stop.” Lucy’s husky voice touched Jamie's primal self and she took Lucy in her mouth.
“Oh god, oh god, so good, it’s so good.” Lucy pushed her hips further into Jamie's mouth. She couldn’t get enough of the pleasure Jamie was giving her.
Jamie grinned against Lucy and filled her even more while sucking her clit.
Lucy was bucking against Jamie's mouth and shouting her name. Lucy’s muscles contracted tightly around Jamie's fingers as she came hard.
Jamie continued to gently suck, feeling Lucy getting hard again in her mouth. With just a few more thrusts Lucy cried Jamie's name again, as another orgasm hit her with such force Jamie had to hold Lucy’s hips to save injury.
“Stop—no more—god, please. Please. Don’t stop—” Lucy said, through moans and laboured breath.
Jamie laughed against Lucy’s clit and sucked it deep while continuing to push in and out of her.
“Jamie—Jamie—I’m coming again, oh my god, this is so good—” Lucy went rigid and shuddered as a third orgasm ravaged her. She relaxed and started to cry, the emotion of her release getting the better of her.
Jamie crawled up and gathered Lucy in her arms.
“Oh, baby, what’s up? Was it too overwhelming?” Jamie's soft voice only served to fuel Lucy’s tears.
“Jamie, it was so beautiful. You were fantastic. I have never felt so—”
Lucy held tightly onto Jamie and within seconds her breathing told Jamie she was asleep.
Jamie relaxed her own breathing, which wasn’t easy as she was feeling extremely aroused after making Lucy come. She desperately wanted to come but knew she would climax with such a force that silence wouldn’t be an option. But Jamie felt as if she would self-combust if she didn’t take matters into her own hands, as it were. She couldn’t do it, not with Lucy asleep in her arms.
Jamie had held off her own orgasm when Lucy had her third one. It was hard as Jamie was so turned on by how Lucy was reacting to her touch and at Lucy’s release. It had been a while since she’d been with a woman, and her sensitivity was heightened. She wanted Lucy to touch her and make her come. She wanted to come with Lucy, wanted them both to scream with pleasure. But they didn’t. It would have been so easy for Jamie to let her own orgasm take her, and then she wouldn’t feel so frustrated now.
It would be okay, she’d let Lucy sleep for a little while. When she was ready to make love to Jamie it would be so much better for the anticipation. With that thought Jamie let her eyes close while listening to Lucy’s even breaths.
JAMIE AWOKE WITH a start to find she was alone in Lucy’s bed. Instead of the short nap to give Lucy time to recover, she’d obviously dropped into a deep sleep.
She lay back and listened for the tell-tale noises of breakfast being made, the smell of coffee, but there was nothing. No sounds, just an unnerving silence. Feeling uneasy, Jamie got up. She put on the clothes she’d arrived in the night before. She went downstairs to see where Lucy was, but she was nowhere to be found.
“Lucy, where are you?”
She checked every room, finding them all empty. It was as if Lucy had disappeared.
“Maybe last night was too much for her to take,” Jamie said, as she went out of the front door and pulled it securely shut behind her. She waited a few more minutes in case Lucy had popped out for milk or something, but still no sign. She couldn’t hang around any longer as she had to get home to shower then open the gallery.
With that Jamie walked off to her house, worrying that she’d rushed Lucy into something she wasn’t really ready for. But it was Lucy who set the pace and then fell asleep on Jamie. She didn’t think she’d rushed Lucy into anything. Jamie put it down to the wine.
Jamie got ready for work in record time and arrived at the gallery ready for her usual opening up time. She kept her eye out in case Lucy happened by, which she hadn’t by the time Selena arrived for work.
“Well, you’ve got a face on you like a smacked bum.”
“Oh nice, Selena, very nice.”
“Sorry, JJ, but you do, what’s up? Did your date not go the way you wanted it to?” Selena hung her coat up and went out the back to make the coffee.
“Are you ready for a refill?” Selena called from the little kitchen.
“Yes please, it’s a good job I brought some more biscuits in, as we seem to have mysteriously run out.”
“Ah yes, that was because yesterday was very quiet so I kept making coffee and I needed something to nibble on.”
“I’ll let you off.”
Selena came back in with the two mugs of coffee in one hand and the tin of biscuits in the other.
“Come on, JJ, why the long face? Tell Auntie Selena everything.”
“Not much to tell really. We had a great walk and talked a lot, getting to know each other, and then back to Lucy’s for dinner. We made love, well I made love to Lucy, she fell asleep afterwards and I woke up alone. She just disappeared into thin air. I left, went home, showered, came to work and that’s all,” Jamie said, and then she took a drink of her coffee.
“Whoa, back it up a bit my little sex machine. You made love to Lucy? Straight, but after last night probably gay, Lucy?”
“That’s right, well it was more like she talked me into making love to her.”
Jamie looked into her mug as if she could find the answer to the question she didn’t want to ask. But ask it she did.
“Why did Lucy run off? That’s what I can’t fathom.”
“I’m not going to ask for the details, although at some stage I will want a blow by blow account. For now I just want to know how she talked you into making love to her and then left you.”
“We’d both had a couple of wines with dinner and I think Lucy had already had some before I arrived. She said she was a little confused about kissing me that first time, and how she wanted to do it again. One thing led to another and she asked me to make love to her, so how could I refuse?” Jamie sounded very bemused, as she told Selena what had happened the previous evening.
“I agree you couldn’t refuse, but how come you were left, you know—?”
“She was crying and I thought I’d gone too far, but it turned out she was really happy. Then while I was comforting her she fell asleep.”
“Oh, JJ, you’re slipping girl, maybe you should have picked a younger woman.”
“It’s not funny, Selena.”
“Sorry, JJ, I know it isn’t. So, what are you going to do now?”
“I really don’t know. It’s up to Lucy now.”
LUCY SAT ON a bench by the sea at Lythe Bank. She’d driven the couple of miles there just before dawn to think. Her body still thrummed with the aftershocks of her orgasm. Orgasms she corrected herself, orgasms in the plural. Lucy had never ever had more than one, yet Jamie had brought her to the brink of climax and finally sent her over, not just once but three times. The first one had been spectacular, the second more intense and the third one blew her mind and brought her to tears. They were tears of joy, but as she thought about it in the cold light of day, there was a tinge of sadness that she’d never experienced that kind of passion before. When Jamie made love to her it was so—it was like she’d never been lov
ed before. But Jamie was a woman, a woman making love to Lucy, even so she’d never felt that intensity with anyone. This was something that really needed thinking about.
So had she always been a lesbian but never recognised it? Lucy wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to this. Yet she had to have some resolution or she would go out of her mind. She was in her early sixties for god’s sake, this shouldn’t be happening to her. She had no idea what she was going to do about these new found feelings, or the label that came with them. Lesbian. It was quite something to take on board, especially in the aftermath of great, no mind-blowing, sex. Why did people have to label everything?
It wasn’t about the sex either, it was about the passion and closeness. The fact that she barely knew Jamie, yet was prepared to jump into bed with her hadn’t escaped Lucy’s notice. How was it she felt this comfortable making love on the first date? And making love was what she’d done. Although Lucy wasn’t that experienced, she knew the difference between the two. She wondered if sex was now going to play a bigger part in her life. Or maybe it was just the fact that it was her first time in two years.
She watched the sea rolling in and out and the day beginning around her. The sunrise was lovely but Lucy didn’t take much notice of it, being too busy with her own thoughts. Suddenly she realised she’d run out on Jamie, who was probably completely baffled by her actions, as was Lucy. She wondered what the hell she was going to do.
But was being gay such a big deal these days? Lucy remembered reading in a magazine that there were some women who’d discovered their sexuality after being married and having children. It threw up the question of how did their families feel about it? Did these women keep it quiet and not act on their feelings because of fear of being cut off by their families? It would seem that kind of thing still happened, even in these so-called enlightened times.
Lucy got up off the bench, and walked the short distance to her car.
On the drive back to Whitby, she decided to go back home and see Alexi in the hope she’d have some words of wisdom.
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